Lover's Instinct: A Moon Shifter Novella (3 page)

Nothing could do that but finally marking Esperanze as his.

Chapter 3

Esperanze slid onto the barstool of one of the small side bars in the three-story place called The Blue Moon as Nikan ordered their drinks. Electric blue lights illuminated the three bars on the first floor and other bright colors splashed the dance floor from the overhead lighting.

A steady beat of music pumped through the speakers but it wasn’t too loud. Most supernatural beings had extrasensory abilities, so overamplified music would have killed their ears. Her old professor had been right. This place definitely catered to paranormal beings. If the softer music wasn’t her first clue, it would be the blood donors walking around, offering themselves up to hungry vampires. It was obvious they were there of their own free will and Esperanze had a feeling they were paid incredibly well. And some of them probably got off on it.

She glanced up at Nikan, a smile playing on her face. “This place is interesting.”

“Not my style,” he murmured, his dark gaze catching hers.

Instantly her belly tightened and she didn’t know what to do about it. She’d been trying to deny her feelings for Nikan for weeks. She’d seen the impact being married to an alpha had had on her now deceased beta mother. But her parents had never been friends, not like the way she and Nikan were. That reminder increased her guilt about what she’d said to him before the lectures. “I’m sorry I said we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”

To her surprise, an easy grin lit his face as he fully turned to face her. Tugging her stool closer, he stopped only when their knees touched. “I don’t blame you. I was kind of a jackass.”

Returning his smile, she shrugged. “I won’t argue with you there.”

“Hey, now.” He tweaked her nose and she felt herself flush.

“So were you completely bored?”

He shook his head, his face serious. “Your former professor was interesting. The other two lecturers . . .” A shrug.

She loved that he wouldn’t say anything bad about the other speakers. “You’re too nice. The other two were
awful
. The context was interesting, but their voices were so monotone I thought I was going to fall asleep.”

“So why aren’t you speaking?”

“Other than having a deathly fear of speaking in public, this convention is focused on the sciences. I just came because I thought it would be interesting. And, yes, I know that makes me a total geek.” She didn’t feel embarrassed though.

“I like geeks.” There was a note in his voice that made her pause.

The bartender placed their drinks in front of them. The tension in her chest loosened as she turned to take her chocolate martini. And no surprise, Nikan had settled on a beer. For the past few weeks he’d been stopping by her house almost every night that he wasn’t on patrol, and she’d quickly learned his favorite brand of beer. She hadn’t even been conscious of it at first, but she’d eventually realized she’d changed her shopping patterns to buy stuff she knew he’d like.

And to give him credit, he’d never stopped by the house she lived in with her sisters at the ranch empty-handed. Whether it was flowers, wine or other little gifts, he always brought something for her and her sisters. Never specifically for her, but for everyone.

“What are you thinking of?” Nikan nudged her with his knee, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Esperanze paused, thinking of how to phrase her question. When she’d seen that woman from the conference touching him all proprietarily it had brought out her claws. Literally. She’d escaped so Nikan wouldn’t see her physical reaction. Finally she decided to go with what was on her mind. “I appreciate how you bring gifts to our house every time you come by, but . . .” She felt herself start to stumble over her words and struggled to rephrase, “Are you . . . Do you only bring them just for us or do you stop by, uh, any of my cousins’ homes?” She meant her female alpha cousins, any of whom would be a much better fit for this giant warrior.

Nikan leaned closer, that sandalwood scent teasing her nose as he enclosed her legs with his. “Everything I bring is for you. I like your sisters, but the gifts for them are only because it makes you happy.”

His words wrapped around her like the sweetest caress. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest. When his gaze zeroed in on her lips, she instinctively moistened them, then cursed herself for the action, knowing it looked like an invitation.

Nikan growled, the sound low and throaty, and she felt it all the way to her toes. For a brief moment she wondered what it would feel like to have his lips teasing hers, to have his body pressed to hers, to wrap her legs around him and feel his erection pushing against the wet heat of her core.

Surprised by the sudden sway of her thoughts she jerked back, her gaze flying to his. Dark eyes looked at her, as if he was waiting for something. She pressed a light hand to his chest, her fingers curling slightly against the broad expanse of his muscle. The man was certainly built, something she knew, but actually feeling all that power under her fingertips made the most animalistic part of her flare to life. She squashed it back down. “Nikan, we’re friends. I don’t want to lose our friendship.” He might not have been in her life that long but she couldn’t imagine it without him now. If they did something stupid, like kiss, it would definitely lead to more and that would ruin everything. Dropping her hand, she leaned back, putting more distance between them.

“I don’t want to lose our friendship either,” he rasped out, his voice unsteady. “Why can’t we be friends and . . . more?”

“Because it wouldn’t last and then things would get awkward once it ended.” She had no doubt things would inevitably end and she didn’t want to be in an unequal relationship, not when she’d seen what could happen. Of course, Nikan had never treated her like she was inferior, but she knew how things worked.

He reached out, gently cupped her cheek and slowly rubbed his thumb over her skin. “Essie—”

“I need to use the restroom. Please excuse me.” She knew she sounded overly formal but she desperately needed to escape. Her skin was on fire where he’d stroked her and if she stayed her resolve might crumble. Sliding off the chair, she ducked underneath his arm.

When he touched her, it was almost impossible to think straight. And when he stared at her as if she was the only thing that mattered, it created an ache deep inside her chest, making her wish things were different.

Weaving her way through high-top bar tables and other patrons, she only stopped once she was inside a restroom with five stalls. The room was plush, with marble countertops and a place to sit and lounge—as if she wanted to hang out in there—and she immediately made her way to one of the sinks and splashed cold water on her face.

It did nothing to cool the burning need thrumming through her veins. She’d tried to deny her growing feelings for Nikan from the moment they’d met. Had ignored comments her sisters made about their friendly relationship. But when he looked at her as if he’d like to devour her, to lick and kiss every inch of her body, she couldn’t deny the heat between them any longer. It was real and growing hotter every second she was around him.

Cursing her own cowardice, she dried her face and headed out. Running away was stupid and she owed it to him to sit and talk and get things back on an even footing. Making her way through the growing crowd, she nearly stumbled when she saw that same woman from the conference talking to Nikan at the bar. The blonde’s hand was on his chest again.

Instantly Esperanze’s claws unsheathed, making her almost drop her purse. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to focus. She wasn’t a cub, she was an eighty-year-old lupine shifter who’d been in control of her inner wolf since she was ten. Whoever this female was, she was about to learn Nikan wasn’t available.

Not allowing herself to dwell on what her possessive thoughts meant for the future, she headed toward them. Before she’d taken two steps, Antoine appeared from the crowd and pulled her to a stop.

“Esperanze, I’m so glad you came.” He almost sounded out of breath.

Turning to her former mentor, she smiled despite her newly dark mood. She would have been surprised that she hadn’t scented him, but the place was packed and she was distracted. “Of course. Your directions were very easy.”

Antoine tugged at the collar of his shirt nervously. “I need to talk to you about something. In private,” he murmured.

Concerned by his gray pallor, she nodded and followed him up a short set of stairs to a semiprivate area. A heavy velvet curtain was pulled back by a thick cord to reveal a rounded booth and table. He slid onto one side so she sat on the other. The moment they’d taken seats, a woman wearing a skirt that just barely covered her crotch, a bikini style top and a studded collar approached the table. She greeted Antoine warmly as if she knew him. “It’s good to see you, Antoine. Do you need my services?”

Esperanze raised an eyebrow at the word “services” as he shook his head and told the woman they wanted to be alone. “How has the transition been?” she asked the moment the woman was out of earshot, worried it had something to do with his vampirism.

“The past couple decades have been good, but . . .” Trailing off, he scrubbed a hand over his face. The action was so out of character it made Esperanze falter. Antoine had been turned when he was forty-two by a former vampire lover who had adored him. Though he’d always looked young, he had a boyish charm about him, which was why he was still friends with the female who had changed him even though they were no longer involved. But tonight his blue eyes held too much pain, aging him.

“What’s going on?”

“I got into some trouble and—”

As Antoine suddenly stopped talking, she found herself being tugged into Nikan’s lap. She hadn’t even heard or seen him move into the booth. His dark eyes were slightly dilated. Something wild and hungry lurked in their depths. “What are you doing?” she asked.

He opened his mouth, flashing his canines, but didn’t look at her. Instead he focused on Antoine. “Leave us,” he growled.

Esperanze placed a hand on his chest, alarm churning inside her. “Nikan—”

“It’s okay, Esperanze. Call me later tonight. I need to talk, but it can wait.” She heard Antoine moving behind her then the thick curtain that had been pulled back fell into place, blocking them from everything.

“Why are you in one of these alcoves with him?” Nikan asked, his voice deep and almost angry. One of his hands clenched on her hipbone, holding her tight, while the other one encircled her waist.

She splayed both hands on his shoulders smoothing them down. His proprietary behavior shocked her. Something wasn’t right with Nikan and her inner wolf needed to soothe him. “He just wanted to talk,” she murmured, keeping her voice low.

“Maya told me what these places are used for.” He followed up with another growl.

Even though her wolf told her he needed calming, anger sparked inside her. She didn’t know what they were used for but had a pretty good idea at the mention of the other female shifter. “Maya? Did she invite you to join her in one?”

“Yes,” he snapped.

She narrowed her eyes. “Then why aren’t you with her?”

“Because I only want you!” His breathing was harsh, uneven and it appeared as if he might actually lose control of his beast.

Her heart hammered against her chest. The raw need in his voice stunned her. She’d seen Nikan in shifted form before and he was huge. Beautiful, but still very large. From the way he was acting she was afraid what would happen if he shifted forms. Reaching up, she gently cupped his cheeks, caging his gorgeous face in with her hands. “I was only in here because Antoine wanted to talk about something. The curtain was left open, in case you didn’t notice.”

At the mention of the curtain his gaze flicked away for a moment before he turned back to her. “It’s closed now.”

The invitation was clear in his voice. One she knew she should ignore, but God help her, she couldn’t. Not when he looked almost lost as he stared at her. Moving her hand from his cheek, she reached around and pulled the black tie free from his hair, letting his dark, thick mane free. Most of the males of their pack had short, military style cuts, but not Nikan. She loved that he wore it just above his shoulders. Threading her fingers through it, she leaned a fraction closer.

“What exactly did you have in mind?” she whispered even though she doubted anyone could hear them. The curtain had to be thicker than it looked because she could barely hear the music outside it. Nerves fluttered through her. Making this kind of move was so out of character for her, but she knew Nikan would keep her safe. Even if she ended up regretting what happened tonight—though the most primal part of her told her she wouldn’t—she couldn’t stop herself.

The hand on her hip tightened then slid lower until he reached the hem of her dress. He held her captured with his dark eyes, waiting for her response.

She wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted, but she knew her answer would probably be yes to whatever it was. Swallowing hard, she nodded her assent, an answer to whatever unspoken question he was asking.

His callused fingers played against her leg as his hand moved under her dress. He was watching her, a hungry expression on the sharp planes of his face. The higher he went, the heavier her eyelids grew. She felt almost drugged. He stopped a few inches short of the juncture between her thighs and just lightly stroked her skin.

The teasing action had her entire body tightening with desire. Since he hadn’t moved she leaned forward, covering the distance between them, but he took over. On a growl, he took her mouth, teasing with his lips and tongue. Not so gently, he tugged her bottom lip between his teeth as his fingers tightened on one of her inner thighs.

“I want to take you right here, Essie,” he whispered against her mouth.

His voice was as unsteady as her shaking insides. This was a different side to Nikan. He had a wild, uncontrollable look to him and with his hair down, even more so. But she wasn’t afraid. He’d never physically hurt her. Of that she was absolutely sure. Still, this was moving too fast. “I’m not ready . . . for that.” She wasn’t sure that she’d ever be ready to completely surrender to this man. And she knew that’s what he would ultimately want.