Lovers at Heart (24 page)

“Max?” His chest tightened, and his hurt was slowly turning toward something else that he tried to suppress. If she didn’t want all those things, then what were they doing together? Why had they revealed their souls to each other?

She looked up at him, and he asked her again, “What is it that you want? With me, where do you envision this going?”

Max pulled away. “I guess maybe we’re moving a little fast.”

Her words sent a swift kick to his gut. “A little fast? I thought you felt the same connection that I did. I thought you wanted this just as much as I do.”

“I…I do, but—”

“But? Max, we can move slower. I never meant to push you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll follow your lead.”
This can’t be happening
. Could he be such a fool to have fallen in love with someone who couldn’t love him back? That couldn’t be. He felt her love for him in everything she did and said up until that very second. And still, even now, her eyes told a different story than her words.

“It’s cold. Do you mind if we go inside?” Max picked up a blanket and escaped into the bungalow.

I’M DOING THE right thing. I am. I have to do this.
The pain of the reality of what she had to do felt like she was peeling her skin back with a paring knife, then slowly tearing it away from her bones.

Treat followed her inside and she knew he was mad. Of course he was. She hated her goddamned self. How could he not? She was breaking both their hearts in order to save his happiness.

“Talk to me sweetness, please. Don’t shut me out like this.”

I feel like I’m bipolar, taking both of us on a roller coaster ride to hell
. “What we have is great, better than great, but we don’t even know each other.”
Just tell him the truth!

“I know everything I need to know about you, and what I don’t know, I’ll learn.”

“Treat, you’re a smart man. You know there’s more to a relationship than what we have.”

“You’re right. I am smart. I know that love like ours is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and that even if we have to take it slow, even if we can’t move to the next step until ten years from now, that’s enough for me.”

The anguish and anger in his eyes almost broke her resolve. She had to be strong. He’d give up everything for her, and no matter how much she loved him, her love would never make up for the release of the things that really got his juices flowing. That was like a death sentence for a relationship.

“What’re you worried about, Max? Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can fix it. We can fix it. We can work on it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I know you will, and that’s the problem.” Max collapsed onto the couch and crossed her arms to keep them from trembling.

Treat sat beside her with a sigh. He put his hand on her leg and tenderly touched her cheek. She froze beneath his touch, desperately trying to rebuild those walls that had kept her safe for so long.
Damn it. Why is it so hard?

“Are you saying I give too much? I don’t understand. Am I smothering you?”

Max shook her head. If she opened her mouth, a flood of tears would follow.

“Sweetness,” he whispered. “I can stop giving. I can turn into a mean bastard if you want.”

His joke made her smile despite the way her heart was twisting and turning, like two giant hands were wringing it dry.

“You can’t give up everything for me. I don’t want you to.” She closed her eyes with her admission.

“Max, look at me. Please.”

She opened her eyes, and he touched her cheek again. She leaned into it, craving his caress. Why had she said anything at all? Why hadn’t she left well enough alone? Just let him go back to work—wherever that was—and her go back to Colorado, and just let life unfold? Why did she need to define everything and put it into its place?

“If we—” He turned away.

Max had never met anyone like Treat. His eyes were damp again, like they’d been the night before, when he’d thought about how that man had hurt her. He was more empathetic and loving than any man she’d ever met.

“I can’t even say
if
,” he continued. “When we’re together, neither of us has to give up everything. My businesses can run without me on site all the time, and if you want to continue working, I’ll live—we’ll live—wherever you want to live. We can have several houses, if that’s what you want, anywhere in the world that you want.”

Max pushed away from his kindness and paced in front of the fireplace. “I don’t want you to buy me stuff. I’m not materialistic.”

“I know you’re not. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“I just don’t want you to give up everything for me. You’ll hate me for it.”

He came to her side and pulled her close. Max tried to pull away, but he held her too tight. Leaning against him again, with his arms around her, refusing to let her go, she could almost believe that she should let her worries go.

“Family knows no boundaries, Max. That’s something my father ingrained in my head. I hope that you will be my family one day. I could never hate you, and I’d do anything for you,” he said as he stroked her hair.

Oh God. His family would never forgive me! I can’t take their successful real estate mogul brother and make him a one-house, one-family man
.

Max didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and erase the anxious evening that had found them. So she was relieved when he took her hand and led her upstairs.

Treat didn’t try to make love to her. He ran a warm bath for her so that she could relax, while he read in the bedroom. Twenty minutes later, she curled up beside him and within minutes he was asleep.

Max’s heart wouldn’t settle down. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his, dancing with excitement when he told her about how much he loved his work. The look in his eyes when he told her he wanted to live a simple family life was filled with happiness—but how long would it be before he realized he’d made a mistake? She’d missed the signs back in college. The way her boyfriend had suddenly started drinking more, going out to bars more. He’d lost interest in talking with her. She’d never miss those signs again, but she didn’t want to recognize them in Treat and know she was the cause of them.

What she was contemplating would break his heart, just like he’d broken hers when he’d left town after the film festival, but what choice did she have? Could she risk his happiness just so she could be with the man she loved? If she got up from the bed.
Oh God, leave Treat?
If she packed her things and drove to the airport. Tears filled her eyes just thinking about it. If she left a note explaining why she’d left.
What would I say?
Would she really be saving him from a lifetime of resentment or would she crush his heart beyond repair?

Max stepped quietly from the bed. She went to the window and stared into the reflection of the moon on the water. She needed a guidebook, or a mother who could tell her the
right
way to handle this. Since she didn’t have either, she had to make a choice. Was she selfish if she wanted nothing more than to be with him? No matter what he had to give up?

Max felt like a thief as she gathered her belongings and went silently into the night.

TREAT’S ARM FELL on an empty sheet. He opened his eyes and listened for Max. The house was too silent. He went to the window and looked down on the empty deck, then went into the bathroom, wondering if she’d gone for a walk. As he took the toothpaste from the basket beside the sink, he realized her things were gone.

“Max?” he called into the empty house. He ran down the stairs, his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to deny the wrenching in his gut.
She can’t be gone. She wouldn’t do that to me—to us
. He tore open the door and raced to the empty spot in the driveway where her car had been.

“No!” he yelled into the crisp morning air.

Treat stumbled back into the house.
She can’t be gone
.

He reached for his phone, and a handwritten note stopped his heart. He picked it up with a trembling hand.

Dear Treat,

When I read your letters back at my apartment, I knew how much you loved me, and how much I loved you became crystal clear. Being here with you these past few days has only solidified that in my heart and in my mind. But I’ve been where we are now, where one person has to give up something big to make the relationship work, and in the end, the very love that drives people together can turn to resentment. Once the honeymoon stage runs out and real life comes in with deadlines and pressures and late nights when all you want to do is be left alone, you can’t help but lose the feelings that drove you together. And then the resentment creeps in.

I didn’t mean to listen to you on the phone, but I overheard you saying you were giving up acquisitions—the very thing that gets your juices flowing. I can’t be the one to cause that, and I’m not sure I can travel the world like you do. I like to travel, and I love you, but not having a home and moving around so much would make my need for organization go overboard. And I’m sure it would eventually drive you crazy.

I love you, Treat, but I can’t let our very different lives tear apart what we have. If I leave now, we’ll always have these past few days. It won’t be enough, and I know that, but it’s better than waking up one day as strangers who feel trapped in a relationship. I can’t go through that again. I’m sorry, but I guess I’m still too weak—even with your love giving me strength.

There’s more, and I never thought I’d admit it to anyone, but I may never love anyone the way I love you, so I will share it with you now. Someone once told me that you can’t have an honest, happy relationship with a partner until you have an honest, happy relationship with yourself. There are still a few demons lurking in my head, and I think I have to deal with them before I can be a fair partner to anyone, especially you. You deserve so much more.

I know how much you want Thailand. You deserve it, Treat. Go. Do what you are so very good at and what you love. I’ll always love you, and I know you’ll always love me.

My heart will always belong to you, but please don’t follow me. Let us go so you can thrive.

Your sweetness at heart, Max

The lump in his throat didn’t change the anger that roared in his chest.

“No.” He slammed the letter on the table. “No. I’m not losing you again.” His phone rang and he snagged it from the table without looking at the number.

“Max?”

“Uh, no. It’s Savannah.”

“Sorry.” Treat’s mind was reeling. He had to call Max and talk her out of what was sure to be the biggest mistake of their lives.

“I thought Max was with you.”

He closed his eyes against the urge to snap at her. “She was.”

“Trouble in Loveland?”

“Savannah, not now. What do you need?” He calculated how much time it would take him to get to the airport, drive to Max’s apartment, and set things right.

“Sorry. It’s Dad. He’s sick, and I’m really worried about him.”

“I just saw him. He was as strong as an ox.”
I’ll have to convince Max that acquisitions aren’t all that important to me. How can I do that? I’ll hire someone to do them. I’ll pay the attorney double if I have to.
Treat had built his empire based on his keen negotiating skills and his belief in personally being involved with every transaction. He’d entrenched himself so deeply that there was never a need to look outside of his own abilities, partnered with his legal and financial advisers, when it came to the acquisitions. Now he was seeing another side to what he’d always done. He’d been hiding—from life, from commitment, from love. For the first time in his life, he realized, he cared about someone enough to want to stop hiding.
There’s got to be a way
.

“Treat, are you even listening to me?”

The edge in Savannah’s voice pulled him back to the call. “Sorry. Tell me again.”

“Treat. You have to come home.”

“I’m on my way.” He hung up and called his travel agent, who had him booked on a flight out of Provincetown forty-five minutes later.

He called Max on the way to the airport, and as the phone went to voice mail, he realized that Max hadn’t checked her phone once the whole time they’d been together. In fact, he didn’t remember even seeing her phone, which made him wonder if she’d even get his message—but he had to try. “Max, please don’t do this. I love you, and we can figure this out. My dad’s sick. I’m headed there now. I’ll call you once I know what’s going on.”