Lover Reborn (65 page)

Xhex stepped up to the edge of the bed and reached out, brushing his churning thigh with her fingertips. The light contact was enough to keep his release going, his hips thrusting up, his sex kicking, his warrior body contracting as the pleasure rocked through him.

Bending down, she shoved his pumping hand aside and captured him with her mouth, sucking him off, finishing him the right way as he thrashed in the sheets. And as soon as he was done, at least with that particular release, he stilled for only a nanosecond before sitting up and reaching for her.

She went to him with ease, kissing him as he pulled her on top of his body. His hands, those big, familiar hands, roamed everywhere… until they settled on her ass, and jacked her upward so he could nestle his face into her breasts—

With a quick slash of his fangs, he bit through her muscle shirt, and latched onto her nipple, sucking, and licking as she helped him out, pulling her jacket off, ditching her weapons, and—

John flipped her over onto her back and snarled soundlessly at her leathers.

Things didn’t go well for them—which, considering how tough cowhide was, said something about all the get-naked that was happening. At least he knew better than to mess with her cilices, though.

As soon as they were in position, he pushed into her with a jab, and the sting of the stretch was enough to throw her right into a bone-bending orgasm. He followed, joining her, their bodies working each other while she cried out.

And still he kept riding her, the relentless pounding giving her more of exactly what she needed.

Baring her fangs, she waited until he paused for a moment—then she struck. Biting him hard, she shoved him over onto his back, forcing him flat on the mattress so she could straddle him. And as she held him down by the shoulders and drew against his throat, she resumed the fucking, her thighs lifting her up and pushing her down, working his erection.

John’s surrender to her was complete. His arms stayed to the sides, his strength ceded to her, his body hers to use until she drained him dry up at his neck and down at his hips.

As she took him, his eyes stayed locked on her face, the love shining out of them so great, they were a pair of blue suns raining warmth all over her.

How in the world could she ever live without him…

Releasing his throat temporarily, she rode out the current orgasm, burying her face into his shoulder as things got so violent she couldn’t keep contact with his throat. But she knew his vein was hers for the taking, as soon as it was over…

Man, life was complicated. But the truth was simple.

He was her home.

He was where she belonged.

Rolling to the side, she encouraged him to follow her, and he came with her as easy as water, as hot as fire. It was his turn to feed… and given the way his eyes zeroed in on her jugular, he agreed with her.

“Let me seal you first,” she said as she went for her puncture marks.

He took her wrist and held her back, shaking his head.
No—I want to bleed for you.

Xhex closed her eyes, her throat tightening.

It was hard to say where this was going to lead them, because she never would have predicted their split in the first place. But it was so damned good to be home… even if this was just a short stay.

Hours passed, the night waning and dawn arriving; and then the sun rose from the lip of the horizon, ascending to its noonday heights, washing the snow-covered mountain with light.

Autumn was unaware of any of this—and that would have been true whether she was down in the clinic or up at the mansion… or out in the snow.

In fact, she might as well have been directly in the sunshine.

She was on fire.

The blazing heat in her womb reminded her of the birthing of Xhexania, the agony rising to heights that made her wonder if death wasn’t coming for her, before easing off just enough so she could catch her breath and prepare for the next peak. And as with labor, the cycling persisted, the moments of relenting becoming farther and farther apart until the pain of the need filled out the contours of her body and took over all movement, all breath, all thought.

It had not been like this before. Back when she’d been with that
symphath
, the needing hadn’t been half this strong.…

Or half this long…

After however many hours of torture, she had no more tears left, no more sobs, not even any twitches. She just lay in stillness, barely breathing, her heartbeat sluggish, her eyes closed as her body was yet assaulted internally.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when the tipping point came upon her, but gradually the throbbing between her legs and the burning in her pelvis drifted away, the rigors of the needing replaced with an abiding soreness in her joints and her muscles from all the straining she’d done.

When she could finally raise her head, her neck cracked loudly, and she groaned as her face hit a wall of some sort. Frowning, she tried to orient herself… oh, indeed, she was at the foot of the bed, pressed up against the short board at its end.

She laid her head back down for a while. With the boiling heat easing to a mere simmer, she began to feel cold, and she fumbled around for a sheet, or a blanket, or a cover of any sort. There was nothing—all was on the floor: She was naked on a bare mattress—clearly she’d ripped off even the fitted sheet.

Summoning what little energy she had, she attempted to push her torso up and lift her head. She made little progress. It was as if there was glue holding her down…

Eventually, she rose up.

The trip to the bathroom was as arduous and treacherous as a hike up a mountainside, but lo, the joy with which she beheld the shower and turned it on.

As temperate water fell generously from the spout anchored upon the wall, she sat down on the tile beneath it, tucking her heels up against her bottom, hugging herself around her knees. As she laid her head to the side, the gentle spray washed away the salt of her tears and her sweat.

The shivers turned violent shortly thereafter.

“Autumn?” came Doc Jane’s voice from the room beyond.

Her rattling teeth prevented her from replying, but the shower said enough: The other female appeared in the doorway, and then ventured further into the bath, until she pulled back the cloth curtain and knelt down so they were eye-to-eye.

“How’re you feeling?”

Abruptly, Autumn had to shield her face as she began crying.

Hard to know whether the outburst was because the needing had finally passed, or because she was so tired she had no boundaries left… or
because the last thing she remembered before everything became a blur was the sight of Tohr driving those two needles into his thighs and falling to the floor.

“Autumn, can you hear me?”

“Yes…” she croaked.

“I’d like to get you back in bed if you’re done washing up. There’s a lot of heat in here, and I’m worried about your blood pressure.”

“I’m c-c-cold.”

“That’s fever chills. I’m going to turn off the water now, okay?”

She nodded, because she didn’t have the wherewithal to do anything else.

When the warm rain stopped falling, the rattling inside her skin got worse as the cold rushed in and traveled across her tender flesh. Soon enough, however, a soft blanket was draped around her shoulders.

“Can you stand?” When Autumn nodded again, she was helped up, dressed in a light sheath and escorted back over to the bed—which had magically been remade with fresh sheets and blankets.

Stretching out, she was aware only of the tears that seeped from the corners of both eyes, an endless, slow stream of them, hot against her cold face.

“Shhh, you’re okay,” the healer said, as she sat down on the edge of the mattress. “You’re all right—it’s over.…”

As a gentle hand stroked her wet hair back, the tone of Doc Jane’s voice, more than the female’s actual words, helped the most.

And then there was a straw sticking out of a soda can, brought close to her mouth.

One draw of that cold, sweet nectar and Autumn’s eyes rolled back into her head. “Oh… blessed Virgin Scribe… what is that?”

“Ginger ale. And you’re welcome—hey, not too fast.”

After she’d finished the whole lot of it, she lay back again as a band was shuffled onto her arm and puffed up before being deflated. Next, a cold disk was pressed to her chest in a couple of places. A light was flashed in her eyes.

“May I have some more ginger ale, please?” she asked.

“Your wish is my command.”

The healer did one better than that, returning not only with another chilly tin can and a straw, but some plain crackers that tasted like absolutely nothing and were total heaven in her belly.

She was making quick work of the sustenance when she realized the healer had sat down in a chair and was saying nothing.

Autumn stopped eating. “Do you not have any other patients?”

“Just one, and she was fine when she got here.”

“Oh.” Autumn picked up another of the crackers. “What are these called?”

“Saltines. Of all the drugs I dispense down here, sometimes there’s nothing better.”

“They’re wonderful.” She put the flaky, dusty square in her mouth and bit down. As a silence persisted, she said, “You want to know why I refused the drugs.”

“It’s none of my business. But I do think you need to talk to someone about it.”

“A professional of some order?”

“Yeah.”

“There is nothing wrong with letting nature take its course.” Autumn glanced over. “But I begged you not to get him. I told you not to call him.”

“I had no choice.”

Tears threatened, but she forced them away. “I didn’t want him to see me like that. Wellsie—”

“What about her.”

Autumn jerked around in surprise, rattling the crackers, splashing soda out over her hand. In the doorway, Tohrment loomed, a great dark shadow that filled the jambs.

Doc Jane rose up. “I’ll just go check on Layla again. Your vitals are good, and I’ll bring a proper meal back with me when I come.”

And then they were alone.

He didn’t approach the bed, but stayed by the door, settling back against the wall. With his brows down tight and his arms linked over his chest, he was self-contained and explosive at the same time.

“What the hell was that all about,” he said harshly.

Autumn put the crackers and the can aside, then busied herself folding and unfolding the edge of the blanket.

“I asked you a question.”

Autumn cleared her throat. “I told Doc Jane not to summon you—”

“Did you think if you suffered I’d come and help you out?”

“Not at all—”

“You sure about that? Because what did you think Jane was going to do when you refused to be treated?”

“If you don’t believe me, ask the healer. I instructed her specifically not to call upon you. I knew that that would be too much for you—how could it not be after—”

“This is not about my
shellan
. This has nothing to do with her.”

“I’m not so sure about that—”

“
Trust
me.”

After that, he didn’t say anything else. He just stood there with that tense body and those hard eyes, staring at her as if he had never seen her before.

“Where are your thoughts?” she asked quietly.

He shook his head from side to side. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I think I’ve been fooling myself all these months.”

As she felt the shivering from the shower return, she knew the cause was not a temperature imbalance in her bones. Not anymore. “How so.”

“Now isn’t the time for this.”

As he turned to go, she had the very clear sense that she was not going to see him again. Ever.

“Tohr,” she said in a rough voice. “There was no manipulation on my part—you need to believe that. I didn’t want you to service me—I would never put you through that.”

After a moment, he looked over his shoulder, his eyes dead. “You know what? Fuck all that. It’s almost worse that you didn’t want me in here with you. Because the other option is that you’re mentally ill.”

“I beg your pardon.” Autumn frowned. “And I am utterly sane.”

“No, you’re not. If you were, you wouldn’t have chosen to put yourself through that—”

“I just didn’t want the drugs. Your extrapolation is extreme—”

“Oh, yeah? Well, brace yourself, you’re really not going to like my next conclusion. I’m beginning to think you’re with me to punish yourself.”

She recoiled so sharply, her neck cracked again. “I most certainly am not—”

“What better way to steep yourself in misery than to be with a male who loves someone else.”

“That is
not
why I’m with you.”

“How would you know, Autumn. You’ve been making a martyr out of yourself for centuries. You’ve been a servant, a maid, a laundress—and you’ve been fucking me for the last few months—which brings us back to my point about clinical insanity—”

“How dare you judge my inner convictions,” she hissed. “You know nothing of what I think or feel!”

“Bullshit. You’re in love with me.” He pivoted to face her and put up
his palm to stop her commenting. “Don’t bother denying it—you tell me in your sleep every day. So let’s build a case. You clearly like to punish yourself. And you know damn well the only reason I’m with you is to get Wellsie out of the In Between. So don’t I just fit your pattern to a T—”

“Get out,” she snapped.
“Get out of here
.”

“What—you don’t want me to stay so you can make it hurt so good some more?”

“You bastard
.”

“You got that right. I’ve been using you, and the only person it’s working for
is
you—God knows it’s gotten me nowhere. The good news is that this whole thing”—he gestured back and forth between them—“is going to give you a terrific excuse to torture yourself even longer— Oh, don’t bother with the denials. That
symphath
was your fault. I’m your fault. The weight of the world is all your fault, because you enjoy being the victim—”

“Get out!” she screamed.

“You know, the whole indignant routine is a little hard to take seriously, considering you spent the last twelve hours suffering—”