Loved by the Lion: BBW Paranormal Lion Shifter BWWM Romance (4 page)

Come back? Back to human, he meant. In irritation she let out another low half-growl.

“Yes, you can,” he said, as if he understood what she hadn’t said. “Here. Listen to me. Listen to my voice.”

Kira tried to concentrate through the clamor in her mind. His voice, deep and low, began:

“Think about what it’s like to be human. Imagine having soft skin, no fur, long hair. Imagine your hands, the way they grip and hold things, the opposable thumbs. Think about what it’s like to walk on two legs, upright, propelling yourself forward with each step, poised on the ball of your foot . . .”

Something about his tone soothed her, making her think that everything was going to be all right. She tried to do as he said, to think about those things, about her human body despite the distractions of her new, more sensitive nose and ears and eyes. Her arms swinging at her sides, the gentle pendulum of rising and falling with each step –

Kira found herself on her hands and knees, gasping for air. Cole rushed over, kneeling next to her and murmuring low words of comfort.

“What . . .” Though questions were swirling around in her head, Kira didn’t have the words to ask them. Her mind went utterly blank.

Cole’s hand cupped the back of her head, large and firm but gentle at the same time. It was like he had done this a hundred times. “You’re okay,” he repeated, over and over.

When she thought she had caught her breath, she pulled away, her mind clearing and her instinctive trust of Cole fading. Plus, she realized for the first time, she was completely naked.

“What the hell?” she demanded, staring up at him. She almost covered herself, but then remembered he’d seen it all anyway.

“I hope you brought more than one change of clothes,” he said with a strained half-smile, but his joking tone fell flat as a board.

Chapter Six

Cole

He was well and truly screwed.

That was Cole’s first thought as he looked down at Kira, sprawled on the floor, obviously in shock.

His second thought was even less admirable.
Ours
, purred his lion, deep in his chest.
Our mate
. His lion sounded very satisfied – and after the morning he’d had with Kira, why not?

As Cole retrieved a sheet from the bed to wrap her in, he let himself think about the hours before: Kira in his arms, kissing and touching and licking her, listening to the beautiful sounds she made. Being inside her was like nothing he’d ever felt before. They fit together so well.

And then this happened! Cole tried not to groan aloud. Or bang his head against the wall.

“Marlene told me about –" Kira began, her voice shaky. She took a deep breath to steady herself. “About how something like this happened to her.”

Cole found himself pathetically grateful for that fact. At least he wasn’t starting his explanation from scratch. “It’s not very common, but yes.”

Her expression was starting to move from “shocked” to “angry.” “Did you know this would happen?” she asked, eyes searching his face. There was an undercurrent to her voice that said
danger, danger
to Cole.

“No,” he replied firmly. “It’s never happened since my . . . Since I’ve been alpha of this pride. And I haven’t exactly been celibate the last ten years.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Kira gave a huff and pulled the sheet tighter around herself. This was not going Cole’s way.

“Then why me and not one of the other . . . dozens of women you’ve been with?” she shot back hotly, holding herself proudly.

Cole held back a sigh. This was going to be the worst part, at least for her. She might know about lion shifters, but she wasn’t one of them, hadn’t been raised among them, and wasn’t used to the customs among the pride that might be a little more . . . strange to average human ears.

“It happens when two people, two lions, are mates,” he said reluctantly, knowing how it sounded. Not that internally his own lion wasn’t purring and bathing himself with an aura of self-satisfaction. “Not always. You can have a human mate. But sometimes.”

“Mates,” she repeated in a faint voice, cradling her forehead in one hand. “Like, as in some kind of
National Geographic
nature documentary special. Mates.
Mated
.”

“I know how it sounds -“ he began.

“I really don’t think you do!”

“- But we’re here for you. The whole pride is.” They would have a pretty good laugh at him first, when they heard the news, but he knew they would welcome Kira with open arms. After all, they already had.

“But I’m not a lion. Lioness. Whatever.”

Cole didn’t want to push her, but denial was going to get her nowhere fast. “You are now.”

She stood up suddenly, clutching the sheet tight, and began to pace; he was reminded of how she had done that just minutes before in her lioness form. (
Your lioness. Shut up
.)

“And I don’t get a choice in this?” Her voice was sharp but with a brittle edge of fear.

“There are things you can choose,” Cole said carefully, against the protesting roar in his chest. Sometimes the lion needed to be caged for certain things. “It’s not about destiny. It’s about compatibility. It’s about belonging. Family. What do you think? What do you really want?”

Kira swallowed, and he followed the movement of her throat with his eyes. Although she wouldn’t meet his eyes, he could read the uncertainty and reluctance plain on her face, and his heart gave a jump. Maybe she did want him.

“I think I want you to get Emi. I need some clothes,” she said finally, running a hand through her hair.

Cole wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but his heart dropped low into his gut at her words. Still he said, “Sure thing,” and went to do as she bade.

He got a few teasing comments and knowing looks from other members of the pride as he looked for Emi, but he ignored them. They just thought he was fresh from a hook-up; they’d find out the truth soon enough.

Emi was having an animated discussion about some science fiction show with Andrea when he found her, but she was quick to pick up on the fact that something was wrong. By the time he had finished telling her in private, in a grim voice, what had happened, her eyes were as wide as saucers and her hand was covering her mouth.

“Oh, wow,” she said fervently. Personally Cole thought
oh, wow
, didn’t really cover it, but then, what did?

Emi worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “How is she? Is she upset? On a scale of one to ten, how freaked out is she? Do you think –"

“Emi,” he interrupted gently. “She needs some clothes. Can you grab her suitcase and bring it to my room? She’s still there.”

She nodded, a few more times than was necessary. He recognized the signs of an impending Emi panic attack and squeezed her on the shoulder.

“Will she be mad at me?” whispered Emi.

He managed a small grin. “I have a feeling I’ll absorb the brunt of her anger. Just get her some clothes. One step at a time.” A thought occurred to him. “And maybe Marlene. It might be good to have someone who’s gone through this before.”

“I think she’s with the kids. I’ll grab her.” Emi paused, looking at him searchingly, and her voice became a little bit teasing. “What about you, huh? Mated? Are you happy?”

He raised a quelling eyebrow at her. “I’d be happier if she were happy.”

“Happy wife, happy life,” quoted Emi, the joke undercut by her nervousness. Then she turned serious again. “I hope this all works out, Cole.”

Cole sighed. “You and me both.”

Only a minute after Emi had disappeared down the hallway, Mason found him. He looked somehow a little different than the night before, or maybe just in a better mood. Maybe taking charge of the pack had helped him ease up a little. At least things were going right for somebody, Cole thought ruefully.

“Hey, about this morning –" Mason frowned.

Or maybe not. “What’s up?”

“Pride smelled a panther out on the land.”

“Never can catch a break,” Cole muttered. With luck, he or she was only passing through and wouldn’t bother them again. Without luck, their territory was going to be encroached upon by another pride.

Mason looked grim. “Andrea swears it smelled like Gunnar.”

Cole swore in a long string of expletives. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Anyone run into him?”

“Nah. He’s too fast, anyway. Fresh scent, though. Came through last night, maybe early this morning.”

Gunnar Atherton had been a thorn in Cole’s side several years before, when he was just beginning to establish his authority as pride alpha after his mother’s death. He’d dated Andrea briefly, during her rebellious phase, but after she’d broken things off he hadn’t left it alone, escalating to behavior dangerous not only to Andrea but the entire pride. And knowing what Cole did about Gunnar's history and what had happened to his own pride made this news even more unsettling.

“You think he’s after Andrea again? Wasn’t that settled years ago when she mated Liam?”

“Could be,” he said reluctantly, though it seemed odd for that to suddenly come up again after all this time. “I thought Liam gave him a pretty good scaring, but maybe it’s worn off.”

“Dude is scary,” Mason agreed. “I sent Paul and Torri to walk the perimeter, keep an eye out.” He was watching Cole – waiting, Cole realized, for his approval. That was a nice change of pace for once.

Cole nodded. “Good idea.”

Mason grinned, clearly pleased. Then he ruined the moment by saying, “Hey, what’s up with you and what’s-her-face?”

Cole’s lion rumbled at the disrespectful reference to Kira, but all he did was give Mason a disapproving look, for all the good it did. The kid was unflappable.

“Go on, get out of here,” he growled, messing with Mason’s hair and giving him a playful shove, which he dodged. “Don’t you have to go fill your quota of teenage brooding today?”

“I’m gonna get right on that.” He flashed a grin over his shoulder and scampered away in the direction of his XBox.

It had been half an hour at least. It occurred to Cole that maybe he should check on Kira, see how she was doing. He wanted to see her so badly it felt like an ache had lodged itself deep in his chest, under his breastbone.

He wasn’t lying when he said she had a choice. Maybe she would choose him, he thought, surprised by the vehemence of his hope. Cole hadn’t been looking for a mate, hadn’t even let himself think about that possibility in a long time, but found he wanted her to be his in more than just bed. He could see himself waking up next to her every morning, making her breakfast, joking with her, making love to her . . .

He was a goner, he decided. And if he didn’t want to be a coward, he should tell her.

Before he could, Marlene shouted for him. It sounded serious. Maybe Kira wanted to talk to him, he thought, and barely managed to retain his dignity as he jogged up the stairs toward her.

Marlene was waiting for him at the top, one hand on the rail. In the distance he could barely make out the sound of a car engine fading, and his gut lurched.

“Marlene?”

“She’s gone.”

Cole felt like he had been punched in the solar plexus. She was gone. Kira had left.

She held up a hand as if to forestall him, though he hadn’t been able to say anything. “Now, don’t get the wrong idea. Emi went with her. She just needs some space, that’s all. She hasn’t made any decisions yet. This is very sudden for her, you have to understand.”

“I do understand,” he insisted.

“You’re trying. I can see that. But you don’t know what it’s like.” Marlene spoke sternly. He might be the alpha, but on this subject she was the only authority left in the pride. “If you push real hard, you might push her away forever.”

Cole’s head was still spinning with the news that Kira had left. “You’ll keep in touch with her, won’t you?”

She smiled softly. “Course I will. I would anyway, she’s a good woman, which I expect you’ve figured out. But you should know . . . It still took me months to talk to Clint, much less decide to be his mate. There are no guarantees.”

Cole took a deep breath. Months. He didn’t want to wait months. He wanted Kira as his mate now. But shifters were out of touch with the cultural norms. It used to be not uncommon to marry for life on a whim, after a few months or only a few weeks of knowing somebody. Whether you ended up happy was something else, of course, but now shifter traditions that were the same as they’d always been were out of step with the rest of the world.

He could give her time. He could give her space, too. He wasn’t an asshole. He just hoped, by god, she would come back at the end of it.

Chapter Seven

Kira

The next morning found Kira pacing around her living room floor.

No, it was more like prowling. She had nothing to do; she was still on vacation, and all of her plans had revolved around the Deleon family. And that had gone to hell in a spectacular fashion.

And instead of acting like a sensible person, here she was, thinking about Cole and Emi and Marlene and Mirabelle. And about how much she missed them already.

Even Cole, as ridiculous as that was. She’d known him for all of two days, for crying out loud. Kira didn’t believe in love at first sight. Hotness at first sight, definitely; attraction, too, and definitely sexual tension – but love? Real, true, lasting love? She couldn’t think of it as anything but a fairy tale for children.

So naturally she couldn’t stop thinking about him. His easy way with his family, his comforting presence, the way his hazel eyes twinkled when he smiled and laughed . . . and his killer abs. Those were definitely a bonus.

Everything had seemed to click into place when she was around him. He put her at ease effortlessly, made her feel like she belonged in the family.

Mates
. The whole thing seemed really old-fashioned. What did that even mean? Did lions mate for life? Did he expect her to marry him? The whole thing bewildered her on a rational level, even as something about the idea was strangely seductive.

Kira let herself picture them together – it couldn’t hurt anything, right? – for just a moment.
Mine
, thought her lioness. Kira imagined her licking her paws contentedly while purring.

Apparently - and this possibly was the weirdest part of all in a whole world of weird – she was still a lioness while she was in human form.

Maybe I do want him
, she admitted to herself.
But it won’t hurt either of us to take some time with this.

Not too much time
, insisted her lioness, accompanied by a threatening growl.

She still felt a little guilty about leaving the retreat so suddenly. She had no idea what the Deleons thought of her leaving like that. Or how much they knew about the situation. The urge to return was powerful; their family home had already begun to feel like her home.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” was the first thing Kira said when Emi visited the next day. Or him, she left implied.

Emi held her hands up in surrender. One of them was holding a bottle of wine. With a glance, Kira knew it was her favorite. A point for the BFF. “Totally, one-hundred-percent fair. I promise.” She mimed zipping her lips closed, looking earnest.

Two points. Graciously Kira opened the door and let her inside.

Her steadfastness wavered as Emi poured her a second glass of pinot grigio. They had migrated from the kitchen table to the floor in front of Kira’s couch. There hadn’t been much chatter, even on Emi’s end, since there wasn’t much else to talk about but what had happened. Every other topic sounded forced and awkward. Mostly they had been munching on crackers, cream cheese, and some kind of amazing fruity-spicy jelly Emi brought.

“So I said I wasn’t going to talk about it,” Kira began, taking in a deep breath. “But, like, am I going to be this way forever?”

Emi looked worried, biting her lip. “I don’t know.”

Her entire life, Kira realized as he stomach dropped, was going to go in a completely different direction than anything she’d ever thought or planned. Assuming she didn’t wake up soon and discover it was all a dream, which seemed pretty unlikely at this point.

Kira saw that Emi was uncomfortable - she looked guilty, that girl was just a guilt sponge – and changed tacks. “So what’s it like? Being a . . . lion?” She’d asked before, when Emi had first told her, but she’d appreciated the answers only from a distance; it hadn’t seemed very important at the time. Now she was going to see it all from the inside.

Emi relaxed at the shift in tone. “It’s pretty cool, I guess. It’s had to imagine being anything else, if you know what I mean?”

Kira nodded. She didn’t, exactly, but common sense said Emi would see it as normal even though it was about as far out as you could get from Kira’s perspective. “Anything I should know?”

“The obvious. As you already know, alphas are in charge. That includes you, you know.”

Taking another sip of wine, Kira tried to imagine it. She was in charge at work, obviously – everyone answered to her, she made the rules, her word was law. And she liked it that way. Last year for Christmas one of the workers had gotten her a paperweight for her desk that read Word of God as a joke. She remembered that lunch on the hiking trail, where she’d seemed to fit in seamlessly with the Deleons, even before everything that happened with Cole. Hope sparked in her chest.

But it had been a long time since she’d had a family, a real family. Family was something you built and maintained; it didn’t appear overnight like a FedEx package on your doorstep. Even when it was accompanied by great arms and gorgeous hazel eyes. And a built-in best friend.

“I’m new, though,” insisted Kira, taking another cracker.

Emi shook her head, balancing her glass between her knees precariously and leaning back. “It’s not about seniority,” she explained. “Just biology.” Then she frowned adorably as she thought. “I mean, there’s some seniority. There’s a reason why Cole is the alpha, not Mason. He’s just a kid. But you’re the only female alpha. I mean, you’d be the only one . . . if you joined.”

“The only one since . . . Cole’s mom?” Real subtle. Okay, maybe she did want to talk about him a little. Sue her.

“Right.”

Emi studied her face. "Have you . . . you know, tried to shift?"

Kira shook her head. "I tried last night," she admitted. "I couldn't figure it out. It was Cole who got me to turn back into a human, before." She could feel the lioness was a part of her now, but somehow caged, locked away, and Kira couldn't figure out how to open the door to her. She wasn't totally sure she
wanted
to.

"He's really good at that," said Emi after Kira explained all this. "He helps all the teenagers through their first transformation. He helped me."

Kira looked down at her fingers and imagined them as claws, wicked and sharp. Then she shook her head.

"It sounds kind of weird, but it's almost about . . . letting yourself," Emi said. "People have lots of inhibitions. We're always thinking about what could go wrong or how something might not work out. Animals aren't like that. They just want what they want. You just have to embrace that part of yourself."

Well, Kira
was
worried about those things, she had to admit that.

Emi took Kira’s hand and gripped it hard. “Whatever you choose, I will be there to support you. You’re my best friend – you’re my family – and nothing’s going to change that.” She held up her other hand in the Boy Scout salute, mock-solemnly. “Scout’s honor.”

Oh no. Kira could feel herself beginning to tear up. Somehow Emi had hit on Kira’s deepest fear exactly. With a watery smile she squeezed Emi’s hand. “I think you’re my favorite best friend.”

Emi leaned over and jogged her with her shoulder. “I’m your only best friend, silly.”

“Has he said anything about me?”

Emi paused with a cracker halfway to her mouth. Kira could see her smile beginning to form and threw a throw pillow at her. “He misses you.” Emi waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “He wants you to come back.”

“He said that?” asked Kira skeptically. He was so gorgeous, funny, and kind; it was hard to imagine what exactly he would see in such a curvy, bossy woman like herself.

Emi gave a little shrug. “Not in so many words. But everyone can tell. He’s totally moping around. He lost a race with Mason yesterday. The kid – you remember? That’s never happened before.”

“I can see how that would be concerning,” Kira said seriously, before smirking a little. Emi caught the smirk and in response thwapped her with the pillow, then hugged it.

“No, really – I think he likes you.”

It was gratifying to hear how he felt about her and how much he missed her; it made Kira feel a little less weird for missing someone she’d just met two days ago. But in her chest, Kira’s lioness was rumbling with concern for Cole.
Go to our mate
, she said.
He’ll feel better with you and you’ll feel better with him. Everyone wins
. Kira told her to shut up, but she knew the lioness was right.

Kira hesitated, then admitted, “I like him, too. I really do. I want to get to know him better.”

“I can give you his number.” Emi added hastily, “if you want. Lions can totally date before making lifelong romantic commitments. I promise.”

Kira considered the concept – hardly a novel one, but somehow she hadn’t thought of it yet. It would give her a chance to see Cole again but without all the pressure of his family and a mating bond involved. “A date. That sounds good.”

Emi beamed. “One phone number coming right up!”

* * *

Her anxiety was made worse by the letter she’d found in her mailbox this morning. Yesterday she’d been too freaked out to grab her mail on the way in, too concerned with what had just happened, with turning into a lion. When she got the mail this morning, though, hoping to distract herself, she’d been surprised by a letter with a handwritten address. There was no return address on the outside of the envelope and no stamp – it must have been hand-delivered.

She had turned it over, then opened it and read the following:

My dearest Kira,

I heard you were playing with the lions recently. You don’t belong with them. You belong with me. They won’t appreciate you the way I do. I’ve always known you were special, and your transformation proved it. But the lions are spineless and weak no matter how loudly they roar. I hope you don’t see them again. That would have unfortunate consequences.

I can’t wait to see you again. Soon we can be together.

All my love,

Gunnar

It was a horrible, creepy letter and it sent shivers down Kira’s spine. How had he found out where she lived? He must have, to have delivered the letter. He must be following her, she thought, fear igniting in her heart. He must have tracked her all the way out to Mirabelle, must have seen or heard something about what happened – she shuddered to think of his eyes on her, following her without her knowledge. Had she put everyone else in danger, too?

She didn’t know whether he was trying to scare her or if he was really delusional about their relationship. They’d only been on two dates, but it sounded like he had built up their relationship in his head to be something much more than it really was.

And he knew about shifters! She wondered if he had some kind of history with the Mirabelle pride; the letter sounded so bitter and dark. Maybe
he
was a shifter.

Worst of all, even though she had gotten her first piece of solid evidence for Gunnar’s stalking, she wasn’t sure she could even go to the police with it! How was she supposed to explain what he’d written about lions and transformations?

At least she wasn’t completely defenseless now. He probably wasn’t going to try to kidnap a full-grown lioness. It eased her fears a little to know she was able to fight back – she had claws now, if she was willing to use them . . . and if she could figure out how.

To take her mind off the letter, she called Cole. When he answered the phone, his voice was low and friendly, sending a warm tingle through her. “Hello?”

“Hi, Cole. It’s me, Kira.”

There was a short pause that Kira’s mind filled with all her worst fears. But when he spoke, he sounded excited rather than angry or hurt. “Kira! Hi. It’s good to hear from you.”

She smiled, giddy at his response. Her lioness gave a satisfied purr.
Of course he wants to hear from us
. “I’m glad. Listen, I was thinking. About . . . us.”

Cole’s voice was cautious; she wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad. “Yeah?”

She swallowed and barreled on. “Do you think we could try going on a date?”

“A date – I would love to go on a date with you.” He sounded eager. “What were you thinking?”

“Do you want to come over for dinner?”