Love Unmatched (19 page)

It was true what people said. “When you felt that you were going to lose everything, you suddenly remembered everything that you had.”

I pressed my forehead onto her hand. The memories came flooding into me.

The first time I saw her face, her eyes. The first time she smiled at me. The first time she asked me to be hers. The way she looked when she told me about our baby. The look on her face each time she said she loved me.

I heard a voice come through the door, “There are some visitors waiting for you Mr. Zobowski.”

Only one to two people were allowed in the intensive care unit. At least I remembered that part, when the nurse explained it to me.

I kissed her hand again. “I’ll be back, babe.” Her form was so still, so unmoving.

In the waiting room I saw Kieran, my parents, and Sedona’s dad. They were all here. They looked like a mess. But they probably looked ten times better than I did.

Kieran’s eyes were bloodshot. His shoulders looked like they were going to give out anytime soon.

Sloane asked, “I need to see her. How is she? What’s going on?”

I explained the best way I could. “The doctor said that she is still under anesthesia. She had a lot of bleeding in her lungs, so she has some tubes to help drain the blood that was building up. They had to do an emergency C-section because of the bleeding.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Kieran’s question sounded like a prayer.

I croaked, “She’s not out of the woods yet. They’re keeping a close watch on her.”

Then Kieran reached out, put his arms out, and hugged me. For a long time. Aside from Sedona’s dad, if there was one person who understood the depth of my love for Sedona, it would be Kieran. He had known her all her life and had protected her throughout the years.

My mom was crying her eyes out. “What about the baby?”

“I haven’t seen her,” I answered truthfully. “She’s in the neonatal intensive care unit. The last update I received from the NICU doctor was that she’s doing okay.”

I wanted to see her when Sedona woke up, so that we could meet our daughter together, as we had promised to each other.

Sloane, Kieran, and my parents took turns visiting Sedona. They also went to the NICU to see our baby.

They all advised me to go back to the apartment to get some rest, but I handed my parents the apartment keys. I was not going back to our place without her. They said that they would grab some clothes for me and her.

After Sloane and my parents left, Kieran and I sat side by side in the waiting room.

He said, his expression morose, “I think she was trying to get away from the paparazzi.”

I clenched my jaw, my teeth gnashed inside my mouth.

I would burn those motherfuckers to hell.

“She loves you too much,” he reflected. “She won’t leave you, you know?”

“I hope so,” I answered.

*****

Sedona

My throat burned. Like something was stuck in there, pulled out, and left an aching, caustic sensation.

I coughed, and my chest hurt. My body felt like it was slapped in front of a ten-wheeler. Breathing was a chore.

I heard the sounds of alarms so close to my ears.

Then I heard Zander’s voice say, “Baby, you’re awake.”

I opened my eyes slowly.

The tears in his eyes were the first things I noticed. I tried to reach up to his face to wipe them away. An alarm went off again.

I saw a nurse in bright yellow scrubs step closer to my bed, “It’s about time you woke up, young lady. Everyone here has been waiting on you.”

I tried to smile, but the edges of my mouth were so dry.

“You won’t be able to go anywhere yet. But if you keep this up, by tomorrow you’ll be able to see your baby.”

Baby?

Everything was coming back to me now; I had been crossing the street, and then I blacked out. My baby was not due for a few more weeks.

“Zander? Our baby?” I asked, my voice rough.

“We’ll meet her together.” His blue-green eyes looked so weary, and his hand was touching my hair. “Just get better.”

“A daughter?” I felt the twinge in my eyes grow into a burn.

“A daughter,” he said. “You gave me a daughter. My mom said that she’s so beautiful.”

I nodded. I felt so tired.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll meet her.

*****

The next morning I saw Kieran, my dad, Zander’s parents, Tanya, Brynn, and Nalee. John and Xavier were there too. My former co-workers also came in to see me. Even Dr. Klinefelder stopped by to say hello. Zander ensured that there was a distance of at least a foot that separated Klinefelder and I. I saw the relief in everyone’s eyes. Kieran hugged me the longest. They had all met our daughter.

Xavier had commented, “That little lady is going to be a heartbreaker.”

John had his say as well.“She cries like her father though, when she doesn’t get her milk. Boy, she’s going to break people’s hearts with her loud cries.”

Everyone laughed at that. I could always count on them to lighten the mood.

A few times I heard Zander talking to his parents and my dad about filing charges against the paparazzi. His dad said that he would talk to the family lawyer about it, and if charges could not be filed for whatever reason, he would ensure that changes could be implemented to lessen the invasiveness of the paparazzi into popular figures and famous people’s lives by contacting his close friend who was a senator.

Zander never left my side. Right now, he was helping me get situated more comfortably on the bed. He aided the nursing assistant with my bed bath this morning. He lifted me up from the bed so that she could change the bed sheets. When I winced at surge of pain on my left side, his eyes looked so worried and he was ready to call the nurse. I stopped him and asked the nursing assistant to keep going. I wanted to feel fresh. I saw that there were bandages on the side of my body. It hurt, but at least I didn’t have any more tubes sticking out of me.

An hour later I couldn’t take it anymore.

I voiced out my request to Zander, telling him, “I want to meet her now.” He was leaning against the bed. He looked better today than yesterday. He was wearing a dark green shirt and jeans. He mentioned that his parents went to our place and grabbed us some clothes. They also brought some clothes for our baby.

He kissed me on the top side of my head. “Okay, let me call the nurse.”

The nurse came in, and when she saw that I was fit to go, she helped me rearrange the IV line on my left arm and attached it on the pole of the wheelchair that I was going to ride in. I did not have enough strength to walk that many steps yet.

Zander navigated us from the 4
th
floor to the 6
th
floor. When we reached the double locked doors, he used the outside intercom to let the staff know that we were coming in.

He scrubbed both of his hands and helped me scrub mine under the big faucet. A sign that said “Visitors need to scrub in before entering the unit” was posted. This was basic infection control policy. The babies in the NICU were fragile; they needed to be protected from any germs and bacteria brought by visitors, usually through their hands.

After entering the NICU, Zander pushed my wheelchair, approaching an isolette. The isolette was a home for babies who needed temperature regulation, humidity, and oxygenation. I was familiar with it. I had been in the NICU during my nursing rotation. I just never thought my baby would be on it.

The top of the isolette was covered with a blanket to shield the light from coming through. I read the sign on a 3 x 5 pink paper, taped on the front of it, ‘Baby Girl Mackenzie, 5 lbs, 10 oz; 18 ½ inches’.

I tightly gripped Zander’s left hand.

A tall nurse with gentle eyes said, “Let me check your band.” She was referring to the medical bracelet on my right wrist and on Zander’s left wrist. She was making sure that we were the parents. She updated us on the status of our baby. “She’s doing great. She no longer needs additional oxygen, and she will most likely go to the intermediate care nursery tomorrow. Do you want to see her?”

Did I?
I wanted to stand up and open her isolette.

I nodded my head.

The nurse unlatched the opening on the sides of the isolette. I peeked in and clasped her hand.

You know when they say there is no love as overpowering as a mother’s love?

The moment I touched her tiny fingers, I felt it then. She had chubby, red cheeks, with tufts of dark blonde hair that were gathered on her head, and her eyes were open. It was like she knew that mommy and daddy were finally here. Zander was now sitting on a chair by my side, and he was touching our baby’s feet.

“She’s so beautiful,” he said in awe.

She smiled at us. Just then I knew. She had a smile like mine, but she had her daddy’s eyes. The nurse had removed the blanket from the top of the isolette. Her eyes looked so blue right now. I had a feeling that they would have green in them in due time.

I grazed her face with my fingertips. “Hi baby, I’m your mommy.” I tilted my head towards Zander. “And this is your daddy.”

She let out a tiny hiccup and pushed her tiny head closer to my hand.

“Do you want to hold her?” The nurse asked.

“Yes, please.” I grasped at the intensity of my emotions. Zander and I had created this beautiful baby. She was the embodiment of our love. She was not supposed to be here yet. But like everything else in our lives, she was here now, when fate deemed it to be.

The nurse placed a pillow against my leg, wrapped my baby like a burrito, and then placed her on top of me. Some wires were sticking out of her, and I was careful not to have them tangled up while I held her. Zander’s head was inches away from mine. We didn’t need words. He rested his right hand on top of mine as I was softly caressing our baby’s face.

“Sofia,” I said, still taking in this moment, trying to unravel the mystery of life. I have never seen anything or anyone as captivating as she was, aside from her dad.

Zander’s breath was hitched; he was trying to reel in his emotions, but I saw our baby’s blanket slightly dampen on his corner. Tears freely fell from my eyes.

His hand moved towards her cheeks. “Nice to meet you, Sofia. I’m so sorry that I didn’t come sooner. You see, I made a promise to your mom that we’d meet you at the same time. I knew you were going to be okay. The doctors and nurses kept telling me that you were okay. And your mom, she wasn’t doing well,” he choked on his words, “she needed me more…”

My left hand was on our baby’s head. I reached up to touch Zander’s face with my right hand. The days’ old stubble along his jawline was evident. His eyes looked so tired, but they held a peaceful glow, as if letting me know that everything was alright in the world. The love that was shining in his eyes was unquestionable.

I leaned in closer to his ear and kissed the side of his face. “Will you marry ‘us’?”

His gaze lingered on Sofia for a few seconds, and then he turned his face towards me, a steady stream of tears lined his face. With absolute certainty, he said, “A thousand times over.”

“I give you my eternity; promise me your forever.”