Love Through Pain (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Three days had passed since Jazmine received Javier’s text. Nervous and excited at the same time, she knew Javier was a man that would keep his promises. He would find her
, and the idea that he was willing to go through such lengths sent anticipation skittering through her body.

That night at Shirley’s house she
’d been in shock when Javier explained she was holding her baby. Jazmine beamed, he was perfect. She lifted her boy’s blanket, she’d smuggled it out of the house in her purse when she’d escaped Shirley’s party. Jazmine pulled the soft cloth to her nose and sniffed it. It still had his scent, Nicolas Justin; she smiled, looking at the initial on her bracelet. How many times did she try to guess his name?
My son.

There was a knock on her bedroom door, making her jump. Her heart raced
. Had he finally found her? “Yes.”

“Jazmine, it’s Malcolm again, do you want me to tell him you’re not here?”
her cousin Eva yelled through the barrier.

Disappointment curdled in her belly. Malcolm had been calling her house, cell, and even showed up at her residence, twice. She couldn’t face him right now and wondered what Javier had told him. When she listened to his messages, he didn’t seem to know anything about what went on
between them. Always asking what happened, what’s wrong? Malcolm talked about J all the time, but never in a million years would she have thought he was talking about her Javy.

“Tell him I’m busy
.” Jazmine stared at all the papers she had strewn across her bed. Since the incident, all she’d done was throw herself more into her work. She’d go into the office at the crack of dawn, and then be one of the last to leave late at night. On the weekends, she brought her work home.

Her cousin pushed her door, and pe
eked through the crack. “Can I come in?”

Jazmine glared at her
, annoyed that she’d just opened her door. She’d let her cousin stay with her until she could get back on her feet after being laid off from her job about a month ago. “Yes.”

Eva stepped in
to the room sporting a mini dress and high stilettos. Her cousin stared at the mess on her bed. “Jazmine, you can’t continue to avoid him. Just talk to Malcolm, and tell him to leave you alone,” she spoke with compassion.

Jazmine stared at her. Eva was right
, but what would she say when Malcolm questioned her again?
Oh, I’m in love with your boy.
No, she would avoid him until she couldn’t anymore.

“You’re right, but I’m busy as you can see, so technically I wasn’t lying.” She picked up her pen and started writing down numbers on a piece of paper, hoping her cousin would take the hint and leave her alone.

Eva backed away to the door. “Jazmine, you need a life; you can’t always stay stuck in this room, it’s not good for you.”

Jazmine looked at her over the rim of her glasses. “I do go out.”

“Your parents’ house doesn’t count. I was happy that you finally went out the other night, and then you came back in less than an hour. You need to mingle. Why don’t you come out to the club tonight?” Her cousin smiled.

“My clubbing days are over. Have fun Eva.” Jazmine waved her hand at her
, saying bye.

“Well if you change your mind, I leave in an hour.” She pulled the door shut behind her.

***

Javier banged on the front door
, the house was huge. He made some friends at the Military Police station and had them look up her address. If they couldn’t have helped him, he would’ve used his IT skills and hacked into the phone records.

He lifted his fist to bang again, when a tall
, light skinned lady answered the door. She smiled at him, showing all her pearly white teeth. “Well hello, how can I help you?”

Javier took a step back, looked at the number on the house
, and the one on the piece of paper, maybe he wrote the number incorrectly. “I think I have the wrong house,” he murmured about to turn around.

“Wait, who are you looking for?”

“Jazmine O’Neal.”

“You got the right residence
.” She stepped to the side, and then extended her hand. “My name is Eva, I’m Jazmine’s cousin. Come in.”

“Hi Eva, I’m Javier
.” He shook her hand and passed by her, observing Jazmine’s home.

The living room walls were painted in a pastel pink and beige
, the sectional couch was beige and bracketed with two black end tables. She had two tall bookshelves with—he assumed—family pictures. The entertainment center matched her tables.

“How do you know Jazmine?”
her cousin asked, crossing her hands over her chest, which pushed up her breasts. Cleavage filled the V of her neckline.

“We met on her business trip
.” He examined the room, looking up the stairs, assuming Jazz’s bedroom was up there.

“Is she expecting you?” She tossed her brown hair to the side.

“Yes.” He was tired of talking to Eva, he needed to see Jazmine, not answer her cousin’s questions. “Is she here?”

“She’s working in her room
.” She shifted, closing the door. “She didn’t tell me you were coming, but then again, she also didn’t tell me not to let you in.”

Javier was a little irate that Eva just let him in. What if he was here to hurt her? He was grateful she believed him, but he would talk to Jazmine about it later
, but right now, all he wanted to do was make Jazmine his.

“First door on the left
.” Eva sashayed from the living room into the kitchen.

Javier took the steps one by one, nervous thinking of what he would say. Nicky and his happiness depended on the outcome of this conversation.

He reached the top. Her room door was crack opened, he could see her on the bed with papers scattered all over the mattress. Watching her so involved in her work brought back memories of when he used to interrupt her to read to Nicky.

Javier pushed the door wider and slowly stepped into her room
, locking the door behind him. Her head was down, and she was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t hear him. He took one more step and stopped cold when he saw Nicky’s blue blanket next to her.

Jazmine took off her glasses and yawned. She must have felt his presence because she lifted her head and their eyes met.

“Mrs. Martinez.” He prowled closer to her bed.

Jazmine stared at him, but she didn’t se
em surprised. “Javier.” It was as if she had no doubt he would show up.

Javier just gazed at her. Damn
, he’d missed her; he needed her like he needed his next breath. If she told him to leave, he would—though it might kill him. He wouldn’t leave without trying. Javier pulled a pink piece of paper from his pocket, opened it, and read it.

“How do you tell a friend you’re falling in love with him?”
He studied her face, and he saw it in her eyes, she’d recognized the sticky note. “Jazmine, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“You kept it
.” She avoided his stare. “I tried to.”

“I have every note you’ve given me
.” Javier folded the note and placed it back in his pocket. “You told me you had feelings for me, and then ran, and when I tried to tell you how I felt, you went into labor.”

Her head snapped up. “I didn’t plan that.” He could tell she was nervous, tugging on her shirt.

He chuckled low. “I know that, but after Nicky was born, you ran.”

“That
was
the plan.”

“Some arrangements
are meant to be changed.” He took another step. “Jazz, if you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want us, I’ll leave and never bother you again.” He sighed. “I want you in my life, but you have to want to be in it. I know he isn’t what you wanted, but I also believe he is what you need. Babe, we can make this work.”

She didn’t answer
. She just sat there as tears filled her eyes.

If she told him to leave, he would
be hurt, but his son came first. She would have to accept them as one, or the relationship wouldn’t work. When she didn’t speak, he turned around, strolled to the door, and placed his hand on the knob, unlocking it as he pulled it open. A palm slammed it shut.

“I want you in my life,” Jazmine said quietly from behind. “Not a day has gone by that I don’t think about you.”

Javier turned and looked down into her lovingly emotional eyes, which mirrored what he felt, love and compassion. “What about Nicky?”

She wiped her cheeks. “I think about him night and day. My heart aches for him, but I don’t want to hurt him.”

He cupped her face. “What did you see when you held
your
son?” Javier could see the confusion on her face. “Did you see your attackers, or did you see a beautiful baby?”

She covered his hands with hers. “I saw
Nicolas Justin Martinez.” She pulled him forward and gave him a feather light kiss, speaking against his lips. “I want you both.”

Javier wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her forward, teasing her lips with his tongue, easing it into her mouth. Her lips were soft and luscious
, she tasted of mint—he sucked on her bottom one, and then nipped at the top.

Jazmine pulled back
. “Javier I’m messed up,” she said without looking at him.

He tipped her chin so he could peer at her. “Me too, but you make me better.” He caressed her chin with his fingers. “We’ll make a great team.” Javier bent his head and
nipped at her neck. “No excuses. We can survive anything together.” He said against her collarbone.

Jazmine
groaned.

“I want to know everything about you. I want to be the man you seek out to make all your dreams come true.” He raised his head.

Her lips curled. “You’re the only one that knows the real me,” she got on her tiptoes and kissed his Adam apple, then his chin, and lips. “You already made one fantasy come true.”

Javier sucked on the side of her neck, making her moan. He kissed his way back to her
chin. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked against her mouth.

“No…” she whispered back.

He grabbed her hand, placing it on his erection. “Then, take what’s yours.”

Javier wanted Jazmine to be in control
, he knew he could be rough. He didn’t want their first time to bring back haunting memories. His body was hers to do whatever she wanted. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

Jazmine’s
smirked with naughty twinkle in her eyes as her hands slipped under his shirt. His body tensed. He groaned, closing his eyes as her soft fingers traveled up his torso.

~~~

Javier opened his eyes, and they were a darker shade of blue. She could see the desire he had for her, and it made her wet. She knew he was holding back, giving her control. Javier helped her remove his shirt and threw it on the floor. She dipped her head and began giving him wet kisses, starting at his nipples. They harden under the attack of her lips. Jazmine traced the new addition to his tattoo,
NJM
, under the anchor. He took her fingers, and then kissed each tip, one by one.

“NJM…” she whispered.

“My son’s initials, and yours, too.” He kissed her palm. “In a different order.”

She lovingly looked at him.

“Jazmine Nicole Martinez…”

Jazmine took his hand in hers and led him to her bed. He had a huge grin on his face.  She pushed him on
the bed, making the papers crinkle under his body.

“Your work
.” He leaned on his elbows, shoving her documents out of the way.

She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, tugging on the buttons to her shorts, allowing them to drop down her legs. She stood in her black underwear watching the bulge grow in his pants.

Jazmine climbed on top of him, placing her hands over his chest. “You’re more important than my work.” She leaned down, kissing his left nipple.

Javier closed his eyes as she pecked his torso
, her tongue made tiny circles over his hard bud. He gripped some of her papers in his hands as she moved up to his neck, and then sucked the sensitive area under his earlobe, slowly making her way to his lips.

“You’re beautiful
.” He slightly tugged her hair so she could look at him, their eyes met. “I want you so bad.” He thrust up. She could feel how rigid his cock was as she moved her hips back.

“You said I’m in control
. No moving.” She took his hands in hers and placed them above his head.

Javier bit his lower lip. “I’ll try.”

Jazmine unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. She began touching her nipples while grinding down on him. His eyelids were low, and she knew he was fighting an internal battle to let her maintain control.