Authors: Ruth Houston
The moment I laid eyes on her Monday morning I knew I was in deep trouble. She looked exhausted and very dispirited, and so much of both that she didn't even have the energy to be bad-tempered and more sarcastic than usual like she normally was when she was tired. This was bad news. The last time she had been such a mess I had helped her to feel better. Now I had the distinctly unpleasant feeling that I had been the cause of this.
All through Calculus I didn't hear a word of what Mr. Raskin was saying. I was staring at the back of Winter's head the whole time, wondering what I should do. Should I talk to her? Apologize? Leave her alone? After all, if she was still mad, it might make matters worse if I talked to her. But she looked so defeated and sad, and like she had suffered a lot over the weekend…still managing to look beautiful though…and I should at least apologize for the other day at lunch time, when George, Brian, Marc, and Mack had all ganged up on her…
Lost in the mad rush to exit the room at the end of class though, I was spared having to make an immediate decision. I didn't see her for the rest of the day, though it wasn't for lack of trying – I made rounds during every passing time by her locker and her haunts, but I didn't see her once, and anxiety started to gnaw away at my insides. I couldn't help feeling like I should have been doing something more to rectify the situation instead of letting time slip away. During cross country practice we were doing circuit training again, and I was so distracted and kept messing up that Coach Tuft yelled at me and made our group do two extra circuits. My group members were not very happy with me, except for Gavin, who kept sending me
looks
that distracted me even further and made me annoyed. We finished practice ten minutes after everyone else and consequently were the last ones to leave the track.
I was packing up my duffel when someone spoke behind me.
"Alright Zack. It's time you and I had a little chat."
"Pennington, if this is about the extra two laps, you can forget about it," I said without turning around. "I'm not going to apologize.
C'est la vie
."
"You know it's not about the extra two circuits," he said.
"Well if it's not about that then you can go away now." I shouldered my backpack and picked up my duffel, turning to leave.
Gavin blocked my way quickly. What is it with people blocking me like this?
He gave me hard look. "I don't care if you don't like me," he began.
"Good," I said. "Because I don't." I was trying to hold on to my cool, but it was sliding away rapidly.
"Put your stuff down," Gavin said calmly. "I'm not letting you leave. If you won't listen to Winter, you'll at least listen to me."
"I can listen to whoever the hell I want to listen to," I said coldly, "And you're not among those people." I pushed past him but he grabbed my shoulder roughly.
"What?" I spat. "Are you
trying
to pick a fight?"
"Last chance, Zack," he said, still in that calm voice that made me even madder. "Either shape up and listen, right now, or I'll make you."
"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try," I said, incensed that he was threatening me.
"You hate me," Gavin stated. "And you are really mad right now. I'm taller than you, which would give me an advantage, though you're faster than me. But go ahead," he said mockingly, spreading his arms out. "I'll bet you'd love to hit me. Here's your chance. Take your best shot."
I didn't need to be asked twice. I dropped my stuff in a second and lay into him, but he was ready for me. Before I could even touch him he had grabbed my right arm and twisted me in a way that was quite painful. I yelled and elbowed him hard in his stomach with my other arm and spun around to punch him in the eye. He grunted but was remarkably fast, and hit me back, right on my left jaw. I cursed – it was still tender from Friday. He took the opportunity to sock me again, this time in my gut, and I doubled over with pain. Somehow I must have tackled him, because the next thing I knew we were tussling on the ground, landing punches at every open spot. It was a second, particularly hard punch to my left jaw again that made me swear again. Gavin jumped up, away from me.
We stopped there for a long moment, me on the ground, him standing, both of us panting, regarding each other warily. I looked him up and down – he had a bloody nose, a huge scrape on his arm, potential bruises, and he was definitely going to have a black eye by tomorrow. As for myself, my jaw was hurting more than ever and I felt a sharp pain in my cheek.
"You ready to listen yet?" Gavin asked hoarsely.
"Fuck no," I spat, and we were fighting again in a second. We probably would have kept at it until one of us got killed, but it was sheer exhaustion that made us stop. We were already worn out from a tough practice, and fighting is no walk in the park either, let me tell you.
"Stop," Gavin finally said.
I would have smirked if I had had the energy to.
We both collapsed on the track and it was a long time before either of us could say anything. I didn't want Gavin to have the satisfaction of talking first, so I said, "Good enough for you, Pennington?"
"Ready to listen
now
?" he asked again.
"No," I said doggedly, my heart thudding in my ears. I was sprawled on my back, looking up into the sky, which was starting to darken into dusk.
"That's okay," he panted. "We're both too tired to move anyway. I'll just talk and hopefully something will get through that
thick
head of yours. Winter and I were never going out," he said. Goes right for the kill, this one. "She doesn't like me either, not beyond friends. I don't know what I can say to make you believe me. I could try to give you all the logic I can but I get the feeling you would find a loophole in it simply because you're determined enough to." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I like her, yeah, but I know she doesn't like me back."
"Hurts, doesn't it?" I said maliciously, still breathing hard. "I would know."
Gavin groaned. "You are such a blind moron," he said. "You're the one she's given her heart to. And I know you like her just as much as she likes you. And if you can't believe her…or trust her…then who can you trust?" He paused, and stood up shakily. It was hard to watch. "Because it's obvious that you don't give shit about anyone in this world except for her. She's the only person you have eyes for. For Winter's sake, I hope you can get your act together, Zack." I watched through half closed eyes as he stumbled over to his backpack and duffel and left, limping slightly.
I exhaled and turned my head so my cheek scraped against the roughness of the track, and closed my eyes fully. Was he right?
I turned over onto my side with a moan, pain shooting through my body. How was I going to get home? How could I even
go
home like this? Victoria would have a heart-attack.
Suddenly I heard approaching footsteps, but was too tired to turn my head and see who it was. The footsteps got faster as they got closer, and the person soon broke into a run.
"Oh my god," she breathed, and I felt a cool hand on my forehead.
Winter. Who else could it be?
"Hey," I croaked. I opened my eyes and looked up at her. "It's not as bad as it looks, I promise."
"Boys," she said crossly. "When I saw Gavin I knew something must have happened. Alright," she said, wiggling an arm under me gently. I sat up obediently. "Up you come. Let's go." Her voice sounded kind of funny, like she was congested or something. She helped me to my feet, keeping that arm around my shoulders to support me. We walked toward the parking lot in silence. When we reached her car, I said, "Winter…"
"Now's not the time," she said. "Let me get you home first." Then she sneezed.
"Bless you," I said, amused. She was so cute when she sneezed.
"Ugh, thanks," she said, sniffing. "Don't get too close, I think I'm sick."
"You looked really tired this morning," I mumbled as she pushed me gently into the passenger seat.
"I was. Still am," she admitted, buckling my seat belt for me.
"Thanks," I said softly, catching her hand with what little energy I had left and brushing a kiss on the back of it.
She blushed prettily. "I'm gonna go get your stuff," she said quickly, and went back to the track. She returned a minute later with my backpack and duffel and tossed them in the backseat.
We were quiet during the drive, and I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead against the cool glass of the window. It felt really soothing, and the gentle movement of the car was so relaxing, I felt myself giving in to my body's wishes. I would just go to sleep for a few minutes, I reasoned. A few minutes wouldn't hurt.
Chapter 36: Sick and Tired
-Zack-
Waking up was the worst sensation I'd ever had; almost immediately I wished I was back asleep, because my body was sore and aching all over, and I had a headache to boot. I groaned.
"You awake?" a voice asked softly.
I opened my eyes blearily. Winter. What was she doing here?
"Where are we?" I asked hoarsely. "What's going on?"
"We're at your house, in the living room," she replied. Her voice sounded very far away to my ears. Or maybe it was her tone that was distant, I couldn't tell which. "Victoria and I had to drag you out of the car and onto the couch." She paused. "How do you feel?"
"Not so hot," I muttered, sitting up. Big mistake. Sharp pains shot through my body, and I had to grit my teeth. I winced and realized my jaw was numb again. I glanced at Winter and saw an ice pack in her hands. She must have been icing it while I was sleeping. "Where's Victoria now?" I asked, holding a hand to the back of my head.
"Grocery shopping," Winter sniffed, wrinkling her nose.
"Aw man, she really
doesn't
love me," I moaned. "Going grocery shopping when the closest thing she has to a son has just been beaten up."
Her expression remained impassive, but something in her eyes told me she might have been grinning had her mouth not been in such a stern line. "Do you want anything?" she asked, sniffing again, then sneezing.
"Bless you. Yeah, a painkiller would be wonderful," I mumbled.
"Here," she said, handing me a bottle of water and two Tylonols. Prepared, she was. I took them readily.
"Thanks," I said, my gaze not wavering from her face as I swallowed them with the water. There was something in her posture and her carefully blank face, her slightly more polite than usual tone and the way she didn't say more than she had to, that told me she was holding herself back from me, either because she was still angry about the other day or because she didn't quite know how things stood between us at the moment. Knowing her, I was guessing it was the second. At least, I hoped it was the second. A sharp pain seared through my chest that might or might not have been related to being fresh out of a fight. "How are
you
feeling?" I asked.
"I'll manage," she said with a wan smile. She still sounded rather congested. Poor girl. She shouldn't have even gone to school today.
"We make a great pair. One sick, one beaten up," I said with a weak grin. "How long have I been out?"
"Just for half an hour," she replied, stiffening, and sneezing again. She made a frustrated grumble under her breath that sounded rather like "
aahurrgh
(mumble)freaking
cold
(mumblegrumble)." Then, "I better get you cleaned up. Can you stand?"
"Yeah," I said. She helped me up.
"To the bathroom," she said. "You'll have to lead me; I don't remember where it is."
I did so without questioning her, and when we got there she put the lid on the toilet and told me to sit. I obeyed as she opened the medicine cabinet. I sat in silence as she got out antiseptic cream and wet two towels.
She crouched down next to me and cleaned my face with one of the wet towels. I winced as it brushed over a cut on my cheek. "You two really went at it," she commented dryly.
"Gavin's got a bloody nose, a black eye, and a split lip," I said proudly.
"I know," she said with a faint smile. "Hold still. It's going to sting." She put a little soap on the other towel, rested a hand on my shoulder to steady me, and cleaned the cut quickly, brushing it with the non-soapy towel afterwards. I watched her as she fixed me up, her dark chocolate eyes sometimes meeting mine, strands of her auburn hair falling out of its hastily swept up pony tail, her lips pursed slightly in concentration. She dabbed antiseptic cream on the cut, her hands so gentle I barely felt any pain. Then she ran her fingers along my left jaw. The numbness had faded somewhat.