Love Rules (23 page)

“Guess the buzzards might get him before we get back,” Paul said,

unapologetic.

Maggie nodded. “We’ll worry about him later.”

“Yah!”

As they rode back in the wagon, Maggie looked at Olle and Paul. “I am so sorry about your folks…so very sorry. I loved them, too.”

Olle smiled sadly at her. “Yah, now God will take care of them. At least they are together. They would have wanted to die that way. There’s a certain amount of satisfaction, knowing that.”

Maggie nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. Sorrow went so deep she wondered if she would ever be able to live happily again. What weighed on her was bigger than Texas itself. The guilt of so many deaths. When would it end?

When they arrived, the boys showed her a bedroom, and she went inside and lay down. She silently cried herself to sleep. She could not allow her thoughts to haunt her any longer. She couldn’t bear knowing she was the cause of all of all this bloodshed.

The next morning the sheriff showed up. He watched the Jenkinses lay up their folks and then he came into the kitchen where Maggie had made coffee and breakfast for everyone. She sat silently at the table. Her head bowed.

“Mrs. Coleman, I saw Jesse last night.”

Maggie’s head jerked up at the thought of Jesse.

“He found a trail. He and Ben are following it. I’m sure they will find her,”

Tucker tried to reassure her. “We searched the perimeters together and found nothing to indicate the baby had been thrown or lost.”

She looked up at him with tears. “I’ve caused all this death, and I’m not sure I can live with it. Maybe you should lock me up. Maybe I haven’t done enough time yet. Maybe they should hang me. At least it would rid me of this guilt.”

Her voice broke, and Tucker reached across the table. He laid a hand on top of hers. “Mrs. Coleman…” He looked deep into her eyes, and his heart was in his words as he spoke. “I don’t talk much, but sometimes, there is a need of it. I don’t know what to tell you.” He fumbled with his hat, twirling it in one hand. “I do know that life can be hard sometimes. I don’t think any one person is responsible for another’s death unless they outright kill them. Even then, there can be circumstances. As a lawman I try to remember that. I think it’s why men go to war and women don’t. At least most don’t. Women shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of it. They have a hard enough time just bearing children, the way I see it.”

He looked at her again. “It wasn’t a matter of guilt. It was a matter of the bitter taste of war itself. War does things to people. I’ve seen it, and I don’t like what it does. I’d rather uphold the law the best I can than to go to war for something I don’t completely understand anyway.”

He paused, obviously trying to find the words to ease her pain. “Everyone had their reasons for doing what they did. To point guilt is wrong because in a war, everyone is guilty. If the North hadn’t fought the South, or vice versa, then there wouldn’t have been a war. If the white people hadn’t made slaves of the blacks, a lot of things wouldn’t have happened. If the Jenkinses hadn’t been trying to escape the outlaws, then their wagon wouldn’t have overturned. But like the good book says, there is a time to live and a time to die. Can’t change that, can we? The way I see that danged old war, well, those boys chose to fight, knowin’ they might not be comin’ back. They made a decision. A life decision. And if you have a religious streak you know that there is a time to die, and we must remember that it’s God that does the choosin’ there.”

Maggie looked up at the man with surprise and blew her nose on her

handkerchief. “You’re a very deep thinkin’ man, Sheriff. For all you’ve done, I thank you. I’ll try to remember what you said, as I can’t make any justice of it, myself. I did wrong, and I paid for it. Maybe not enough in most’s eyes, but I paid.”

“I just do my job. Ain’t no thanks needed. I don’t know you, Mrs. Coleman.

Only what I see, and what I see is a woman who has put the blame where it don’t belong. On herself. War is bigger than one person. Remember that. But don’t worry, there is a garrison of Union soldiers over at Greenville and if Jesse needs help, he knows he can go there.” Tucker smiled gently at her.

“Union soldiers? Why are they in Greenville?”

“There’s been some skirmishes over that way due to some people that don’t want to let the war end. And that, Mrs. Coleman, is what all this is about. Ending it.”

“It’s gonna take a heap of tears and scars for this war to end, isn’t it?” Maggie asked. “So much was lost, not just in lives.”

“I’m afraid you are very right about that, ma’am. The war is over…but sometimes, what men have in their hearts just don’t die. And that’s the sin of war itself.”

Tucker rose and tipped his hat to Maggie, then talked to the boys a minute. He poked his head back into the kitchen. “You know, I can understand what Jesse sees in you ma’am. It’s a rare quality of humanity. Keep your chin up. Things will work out.”

“Thanks again, Sheriff.” Maggie looked up at him. “I sure hope you’re right.”

Olle strolled into the kitchen as Maggie cleaned up the dishes. “We’ll be layin’

our folks out and there will be people comin’ in.”

“Would it make you more comfortable if I stayed in the back room?” She glanced at Olle sadly.

“No, ma’am. It would surely make us more comfortable if you stayed with us.

It’s a sad day for us, and you give us comfort. You see, our Ma loved you, so we love you. It’s as simple as that,” Olle admitted, as though he didn’t understand why. “Mama used to say that only a woman can comfort.”

“Thank you, Olle. That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.

I’ll be here, with you then,” she announced bravely.

Maggie busied herself with getting the boys’ clothes laid out for them and checked on them to see how they were holding up. Stefan seemed to cry quite often. Being the youngest, he had less control over his feelings, she reckoned.

She kissed their cheeks as they lined up for her and waited her inspection.

“Your folks would be proud of you today. Today, you are the men of the Jenkins family. This farm is yours to go on with, and you have all been raised by the sweetest people I know.”

She’d have to face the townspeople sooner or later, and surely there would be no reason for worry on a day of mourning.

The tremors in her stomach roiled as the people filed in to say their goodbyes to the Jenkinses. Maggie kept her head down and sat by Olle, Paul and Stefan.

She barely glanced up as so many passed. Her eyes were red and raw and she hated people seeing her looking so fragile. Some paused as they came to stand beside her, but she didn’t look up. Olle reached to touch her hand.

“Olle, I’m so sorry about your folks.” Constance’s voice broke through Maggie’s head like a cloudburst. Maggie wrung her hands, nearly tearing the handkerchief Olle had handed her earlier.

“Thank ya, Miss Constance,” Olle said. “Mrs. Coleman is here to help us out, though.”

“Mrs. Coleman,” Constance repeated dully. “Well, I, I’m glad, of course, you have someone.” With a slight hesitation, she reached out a hand to Maggie. “I’m sorry. Someone said your baby was taken. I’m truly sorry for you.”

“Yesterday,” Olle said flatly. “Jesse and Ben are out lookin’.”

Maggie looked up at her, and unmindful of her own tears, and nodded. “Thank you, Miss Constance. Thank you very much.”

Constance grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Things happen sometimes, and we don’t understand it. But we try, we try to understand.”

Maggie felt a strain to answer. “I appreciate you saying that. Thank you.”

“Good day, Olle, Paul, Stefan.” She moved far away while she whispered to another lady in the room.

Maggie didn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them. What must they think of her for marrying Jesse? None of that mattered. Constance had been nice and made an effort, and that’s all she could think about. She hadn’t expected the compassion.

This wake would be peaceful if it killed Maggie. She bit her lip and Olle touched her hand once more.

“Ya did real good, yah. Jesse would be proud.”

“I guess you didn’t have much of a weddin’ night, did ya?” Ben asked as they kept picking up odd and ends of the trail.

“No, not much. We’ll have time for that yet,” Jesse assured him.

“Why do these men hate your wife, Jesse? She’s such a sweet little lady. I don’t understand.” Ben’s face screwed up into a frown.

“Well, Ben, she was part of the war. Not intentionally, but she did get in the middle of it. She was very young, and trying to survive. She got tangled up in a bad part of it. Because of her own circumstances, she became a spy for the Federals. It seems the rebels want her to pay for all the trouble she caused,” Jesse explained.

“Was what she done that bad?” Ben asked as he turned to look at Jesse.

Jesse thought about the question. “It was bad, Ben, but she didn’t realize the enormity of it. There’s no way a woman can know such a thing. She informed on them, and so a lot of the men died and some blame her for it. But in war, it is often command mistakes that cause the outcome of a battle. I witnessed a few blunders myself. But Maggie paid her due. She went to prison. I took her to my captain and turned her in myself. He put her in prison until they discovered she carried my child,” Jesse admitted. “Then she became the fort washwoman until she came here. I asked her to come. I can’t believe she did, though. Not with me turnin’ her in.”

“Ya-vold, that is hard to understand. You turned her in, but you had relations with her first?” Ben scratched his chin and reined his horse in a little.

“It’s kind of complicated to explain. The war creates a lot of crazy things. I was supposed to bring her in. I had no idea I’d fall in love with her, too. Even though I did, I had my duty. So I did it. She paid the price for what she did. The others they just don’t figure it that way. Most of them are just lookin’ for someone to blame.”

Ben nodded. “I think I do not like this war you speak of very much. My pa, he told us that this war was one of the bloodiest, coldest wars he’d heard of. Pitting brother against brother, father against son. He did not believe in such and would take no part in it. My father didn’t believe in war, no matter what the issue. So we stayed as far away from it in our little valley here as we could. Not that we didn’t have a few scavengers and soldiers comin’ in our yard sometimes, but my father remained neutral. He believed he didn’t make it, and took no side in it. “

“You know, your Pa was a wise man.” Jesse sighed.

They moved into densely covered brush and the trail seemed to disappear for a while, but as they kept at going back and forth, they picked it up once more.

Jesse smiled. “And even though it’s over…it’s not.”

“The babe, do you think they harmed her?”

Jesse’s feelings magnified. “All I can say is they better not have. Of all the people they could have taken, she is the most innocent. She’s a half-breed and they won’t think that much about killin’ her. That’s why I’ve got to get to her before they do her harm.”

“Yah.” Ben nodded. “In the old country where my folks were from, they didn’t feel this way about people. Everyone was the same. That is one thing my parents found strange here, that it matters so much. It is only skin. Perhaps someday all countries will realize that it is only a skin color.”

They were getting closer. The tracks and camps were easier to find. They hadn’t bothered to cover their tracks after a while. Jesse could tell by the slight smoke from the fire that they weren’t that far ahead.

It was dark again and they had to make camp. Ben passed out some bread and Jesse found a couple of cans of beans in his saddlebag that Maggie had hurriedly packed. His mind flitted to his new wife and the misery she must be going through. Then he looked at Ben and realized just how sad the night was.

“Ben, I am sorry for all the trouble that has come upon you and your family. I guess I didn’t figure things out enough. Didn’t realize the danger of your family taking in Maggie and Abby. I should have taken that into consideration.” Jesse made a fire and they both stared into it for a long time. An owl hooted from the

high branches of the trees far off, and there was a screech of a cat not far away, but none of this bothered them.

“I will miss them, but there is something to be glad about. My folks they went together. That is good. They would have wanted that. They lived a good and happy life together. My father had scrimped and saved for years in the old country to come here. The land of promise, they called it. They came west because it meant new opportunities for them. When they got to Texas, my father put down roots and my mother followed him all the way.

“They were happy here. My brothers and I were born here, so we are

Americans. My father taught us about the land, brought us up on hard work so we would be prepared, but he loved us too. And we loved them. It is hard to lose the ones you love.”

Jesse nodded. “I know and agree. It is!”

“But you and your wife are our family too, and we must stick together and fight for each other no matter what. This country called America says we are all free, and to keep it free we must fight when needed. My father always said the land is worth fighting for. But people are worth even more. We will find these men, and we will destroy them, right?” Ben asked.

Jesse studied on that a moment, then nodded. “Yes, my friend, we will.”

“I know that killing is not a good thing, Jesse, but sometimes it is necessary.

Sometimes it must be done, to have peace once more,” Ben said. “I’m not sure my Pa would agree with me about that, but this land called Texas, and those men who died in the Alamo, they died for a reason, a cause. Even my father agreed they did not die in vain. He always said if a man must die, it should be for a good reason.”

Jesse eyed him a moment, weighing his words. “I couldn’t have said it better, Ben.”

“Why do you reckon they took the babe? My folks would rise up from their graves if they knew this.”