Love Rules (17 page)

Jesse looked at the butter. “Well, you’ve been busy today. It looks great.

Nothing like real butter to make things taste good again.”

Maggie didn’t want to admit it, but she was perhaps more proud of that statement than any other he’d made since he’d been back. She had worked hard all day, churning the butter until it was just right, and squeezing the liquid out, and then molding it into shape. She salted it to perfection and for a first time effort she was proud. Her mother could make the best butter.

“Yeah, if only we had a place to keep it cool so it would stay good. Guess I’ll have to make it a lot, ‘cause Abby shore likes it and so do you.”

“We’ve a place for it. It’s a little unhandy, but it will keep the butter for some time.” Jesse smiled.

“Where?” Maggie asked with a frown.

“The creek. You can follow me after supper, and I’ll show you,” Jesse said with a smile.

“All right.” Maggie shrugged. She learned to do new things everyday, enjoyed learning. However, she didn’t let on to Jesse that it pleased her.

When they finished eating, she tucked the baby into bed and once assured she was asleep, she returned to ask about the special place for butter. Jesse smiled.

“Follow me.”

They walked a good ways to the creek where several willows crowded the banks to shade it from the sun. The water trickled over rocks and ran steadily as though fed from a river.

Jesse turned to look at her. “Hand me the butter.”

She handed it to him. He slid it off the tin plate and into a glass jar with a wide mouth, put a lid on it and screwed it tight. Then, after tying a long string about it, he dropped it in the water.

“Won’t water get in?”

“Nope, it has a rubber seal that prevents that.” Jesse smiled at her. “It’s a new invention. Found that jar and a few others while fightin’ the Federals. I have to admit, there is a heap of things you can learn from the Federals, if you are open to it. They call ’em Mason jars.”

He turned to look at her and was surprised at her open mouth stare.

“How…how did you know to do that? Putting it in the spring like that to keep it cooled off.”

Jesse smiled, this time a real relaxed smile that took Maggie’s breath away.

“Mr. Jenkins taught me. He’s a Swede, from an old country in Europe. He’s taught me a lot of tricks. He said in time he’d figure out a better method, but since Texas only gets a limited amount of snow, this would do. And it does.”

“That’s brilliant, except you have to walk a mile to get the butter when you need it,” she grumbled.

“True, but you won’t have to make it every day.”

She shrugged. “You’re right. I am going to have to meet this Mr. Jenkins. He is one smart man.”

Jesse looked at her and smiled again. “I’ll introduce you next time we go.

Would you like me to make you a wagon so you can roll your stuff from the creek back?”

“A small pull wagon would be nice. Abby can play with it as she gets bigger, too. That would be fun for her. I can’t believe she takes to this place so easy. It’s hot and miserable most of the time, but she loves going outside and playing in the yard.”

“Yeah, and that bonnet is a good thing, too. Might not hurt for you to make one for yourself. Most of the women about wear them.”

Maggie looked at him strangely. “Maybe so. Used to have an old flop hat.

Guess I left that back in Arkansas.”

“The doc said to keep a bonnet on her head so she don’t get any more

earaches.”

“A bonnet…well, I’m no baby though.”

“Depends on who you ask.” He smiled seductively at her. “I love you, Maggie.”

Jesse said it so quietly, she wondered if she heard right.

“You shouldn’t say such a thing.” Maggie caught her breath.

Jesse watched her. “It pleases me that Abby likes it here. I hope in time you’ll grow to like it too.”

“When hell freezes over.” Maggie almost smiled, almost looked into those indigo eyes and confessed her undying love for this man.

He firmed his lips and didn’t say anymore for a while. But as the sun began to set, he pulled her closer and pointed to the multi-colored sunset. “Something awful nice about this time of day, Maggie.” Jesse sighed.

Maggie watched the magnificent sunset and tried to remain unmoved, but his hand reached to gently touch hers, and she felt herself thawing a little more.

They watched the water in silence for a while, listening to the gurgle. Maggie took her shoes off and stuck her feet in for a minute to cool off. Then she put her shoes back on and stood up once more. “I’ll be bathing of the mornings before Abby gets up. You keep your eyes away, you hear me?”

She watched his eyes widen and his lips curl, but he didn’t say anything.

“When winter comes, if we get snow, I’ll fix a barrel in the back of the smokehouse and fill it with snow so you won’t have to go so far.” Jesse’s eyes took on a faraway look.

“I wish I had some more of those Mason jars. Come late spring they’d be handy for puttin’ up vegetables and fruits.” Maggie turned to look at him.

“Then we’ll get more.” Jesse nodded.

For once their conversation didn’t move around each other, and it put them at ease.

“I’d like to make a big garden so we have most things we need without having to buy them,” she began, hoping she wasn’t being too presumptuous. Still, he had said they’d be married, and the way she had him figured, he wasn’t the kind of man to leave a woman and child. Besides, as proud as he was of Abby, she couldn’t imagine him ever leaving, unless he were killed. That prospect bothered her. She hadn’t come for that, but it was a real possibility. She wondered if she really had a right to put his life on the line. What would she do if Jesse were killed? The thought sent a chill through her, and she visibly shuddered.

He stared at her a long time. “Something wrong?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” she lied.

“We can trade Jenkins for a lot of things we need,” Jesse added. “The man rarely goes to town. He grows almost everything on his farm.”

Maggie felt as though things were getting too cozy between them. Her mixed emotions had her flustered. “I need to get back. Abby could wake up.”

“All right,” Jesse agreed and they strolled home slowly in the moonlight. “I’m glad you’re here, Maggie. I didn’t think you would come, after I….”

She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him. “After you turned me in?

Well, I might not have, but after Abby was born and I couldn’t deny she belonged to you, I figured you owed me. But you are a strange man, Jesse. Me and Abby bein’ here isn’t going to help you, you know? No one in these parts will condone a marriage between us. They’ll call you trash, just like me. You’ll probably never get a white wife now.”

“I want you as my wife, Maggie.” He stopped to look at her. His anger marred his handsome face. “If you’re worried about Constance, don’t. There’s nothing there.” He frowned. “I told you a long time ago, color don’t matter to me. In fact, your color is beautiful, same as you’re beautiful in here.” He reached to touch her heart.

She started to pull away, started to argue, but she closed her mouth. After they resumed their walk, she added, “I came here for one reason: protection. Not to be your wife.”

“And you’ll get it. How better than bein’ my wife?” His chin jutted sharply.

She hated the fact that he was already back in her heart, but she couldn’t deny the way he treated the baby or that Abby returned his affection. Not only that, but he didn’t seem to mind her rules so much, either.

What hurt was that she still loved the man as much or maybe more than before because she began seeing what he was made of. He was courageous, strong, kind, a good father, and deep down, in the corner of her heart, she still loved the man.

And he could easily end up dead with her there. Stubborn pride held her away from him. It was best she stayed away. At least that’s what she told herself. So why did she catch herself staring at him at odd times of the day? Why had her heart gladdened when he announced he was going to marry her? She knew the answer and feared he might, too.

“Guess I got a lot to learn?” After that they walked in silence for a while.

“Maybe we both do.” He nodded. “So tell me about the prison and what it was like.”

“Why? It was a prison, a stinky little room with rats as the only visitors and food fit for a dog.” Maggie grimaced. “I don’t like to think on those times. They are over, and I want to forget them and go on with my life.”

Jesse nodded. “I thought about you every day, Maggie. Sometimes you were the only thing that got me through the war.”

She stopped and looked at him, firming her lips in a pout she didn’t feel. Darn Jesse’s hide for making her love him so much. “Well, that makes me feel real good, Jesse.”

“Did you think of me?”

“No more than I could help, no. At first I felt a hate I didn’t know I was capable of,” she admitted aloud. “I damned you for everything. Until I faced the fact that I was guilty, too. After all, if I hadn’t hauled you to the cabin, none of this would have ever happened. But meeting you made me look at things differently, at the people I was hurting, the rebels. Some young and innocent. That part was hard to live with…still is. Livin’ in that little room, I did a lot of thinkin’. It wasn’t right what I did. And I really didn’t pay enough for what was done.”

“You paid, baby. You paid. But hate? You hated me?” He turned his head toward her.

“Hate.”

“Hate is a strong emotion, almost as strong as love.” He grinned.

“What I wanted to do with you then had nothing at all to do with love.” She frowned into his eyes. Yet in her heart, she had ached to have Jesse hold her again, too.

He nodded. “At least you’re honest. I can appreciate that. I’m sorry. I never figured a woman as beautiful as you would be sent to a prison, though.”

“Beauty has nothing to do with being a spy. A black spy at that. At first they wanted to execute me. Most of the guards just wanted me dead. One way or another. Sometimes I wish they had killed me. I was found guilty and sentenced to hang. That part was as it should have been, but I was petrified. However, at the time the war was picking up, and they threw me in a cell and forgot me for a while. By the time they decided to carry out the sentence, I was clearly with child.

They realized they couldn’t hang me without hanging an innocent.”

“I guess you really hated me when you found out you were going to have my baby.”

“I should have, but to hate you would be to hate the baby, and I couldn’t do that. Besides, being pregnant also kept me from hanging. The war was about over when I had her. The captain’s wife helped me birth Abby. I had an easy time of it.

The captain’s wife said I had hips made for making babies.”

“You have beautiful hips, and I guess she was right about that.” His eyes traveled over her.

Maggie blushed, remembering his love that she swore she had tucked far away from her heart. No man had ever loved her like Jesse had. She hadn’t let them.

When the Union soldiers acted as though they were interested in her, she’d play escape games with them. Even a black soldier tried to seduce her, but the spark wasn’t there. She’d already given her love away.

She shook herself mentally for even going there. “And everyone loved Abby.

She was just a ball of cute, fat, baby,” Maggie recalled with a smile.

“How long were you there after the war?”

“I hung around a while, as they needed my work. They told me it’d be safer if I stayed on a while, then moved out, as some of the guards had threatened me.

After a few months, trying to decide what to do, where to go, they told me I was free, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. So I decided to come here. When some of the soldiers left the fort after the war, they threatened to hunt me down and kill me. The captain’s wife was pregnant and she was so good to me, she made me feel so much better about myself. I stayed on and made a little money so Abby and I could travel here. I told the captain I was going to try to find you. That you owed me.” Maggie’s voice went to a whisper. “He and his wife agreed.”

“So we live the life of hell because I owe you, and I must live with a woman that hates me,” Jesse said with a smile.

“Is it hell to live with me?” she questioned.

“No.” He looked at her hard, but his voice lowered, softened, and he

whispered. “It’s hell to live with you and not have you, honey.”

And he walked off.

Maggie stood transfixed for a long moment, her heart thumping madly against her chest, her love swelling once more for the man she declared off limits by love rules.

The next day Jesse began building the room for Abby. Although it looked small, not much would go in it for a while. He laid the foundation and set up some of the walls, but he ran out of material. He’d have to go see Mr. Jenkins.

Maggie went to the creek to do the wash. She hauled the clothes in an old basket from the shed while Jesse watched her. How long would it take to bring Maggie around to his thinking? She’d been through a lot, and he was more than sorry for her troubles, but he couldn’t change the past. All he could do was look to the future. He’d learned some patience through the war and he could wait. She was well worth waiting for.

His loins still tightened in the same old familiar way when he looked at her, and calming his responses was not always as easy as he tried to make it look.

Sometimes he could barely walk. Maybe she would learn to trust a little more when they were married. Despite what she might say about marriage, Maggie wanted it. Deep down she was that kind of woman. When he thought on it, he found it odd that he knew Maggie almost as well as she knew herself.

He couldn’t worry about her feelings all the time. He had to consider building his place back up and making a go of it again. He’d get Maggie all the seedlings she needed for her garden, secretly glad that she looked on this as a long-term investment.

The next day he would take her and Abby over to Jenkins’s place and