Love, Rosie (202 page)

have
five
beautiful
children
and
as
much
as
they
drive
me
up
the

walls,
I
couldn’t
live
a
day
without
them.
I
don’t
sense
you
have
this

with
Bethany.

Alex:

Phil:

Alex:

Phil:

Not
all
relationships
are
like
yours
and
Margaret’s.

No
they’re
not
but
the
intention
should
be
there
at
the
beginning.

Was
there
the
silence
thing
with
Bethany?

Oh
shut
up
about
the
silence
Phil.

You’re
the
one
who’s
obsessed
with
it.
So,
come
on,
was
there
the

silence
thing?

love,
rosie

305

Alex:

Phil:

Alex:

Phil:

Alex:

Phil:

Alex:

No.

Then
you
shouldn’t
marry
her.

OK
I
won’t
just
because
you
say
so.

What
does
Rosie
say
about
it?

Nothing.
She’s
not
talking
to
me.

How
do
you
feel
about
that?

At
this
stage,
I’m
so
mad
at
her,
I
don’t
care
what
she
thinks.
I’m

moving
on
from
her.
Bethany
and
this
new
baby
are
my
future.
Can
I

leave
the
confessional
box
now?

Phil:

Yeah.
Say
five
Hail
Marys
and
an
Our
Father,
and
God
rest
your

messed-up
little
soul.

You
have
an
instant
message
from:
KATIE

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

You
look
very
interested
in
learning
about
the
female
reproduction

system.

I’m
not.
I’d
rather
figure
it
out
for
myself
the
proper
way.

Oh
funny
but
you’ll
be
old
and
gray
before
anyone
lets
you
get
your

hands
on
them.
And
then
it’ll
probably
be
a
man.

My
best
friend
is
a
comedienne.
You
had
a
salad
roll
for
lunch

didn’t
you?

How
do
you
no?

KNOW
not
NO.
Because
I
can
see
the
lettuce
hanging
out
of
your

braces.
So
what
do
you
want?

Well
not
that
you
deserve
to
be
asked,
I’m
going
to
the
orthodontist

again
later
if
you
wanna
come.
You
can
ask
him
a
million
questions

about
everything
he’s
doing
as
always
and
annoy
the
hell
out
of
him.
It’s

so
funny
the
way
that
vein
in
his
forehead
pulsates
when
he
sees
you.

Toby:

Katie:

Yeah
I
know.
Sorry
I
can’t
go.
Monica
is
coming
around
to
my

house
to
watch
the
football.

Monica,
Monica,
Monica.
I’m
sick
of
hearing
about
stupid
Monica

Doyle.
She’s
no
more
interested
in
football
than
the
man
on
the

moon.

306

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Katie:

Toby:

Cecelia
Ahern

Neil
Armstrong
could
very
well
be
a
fan
of
football.
She
said
she’s
a

fan
of
Manchester
United.

Yeah
right.
So
why
aren’t
I
invited
to
your
house?