Love Resolution (Black Cat Records series) (21 page)

On the drive over, oblivious to the hilly topography or tropical greenery, they talked about their favorite bands. Bryan was a big Guns ‘N Roses fan and liked a lot of the metal stuff from the late nineties. He wrinkled his nose when Avery mentioned her love of classic rock.

“Van Halen. You’ve got to be kidding me? David Lee Roth. That dude is such a side show!”

“And Axl Rose is not?”

“Good point.”

“Speaking of show boating,” Avery mused, “what song do you want to perform?”

“How about ‘You and Me’? That will probably sound real good unplugged, and I think it’s popular enough that they will connect with it.”

“Lifehouse?” Her lips curved up.

“Yeah, why are you staring at me like that? What’s wrong with Lifehouse?”

“I just hadn’t pictured you as a ballad guy.”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover, Red.”

“I never do that.” She smiled. “Ok. Lifehouse it is. But you know every girl in that auditorium is gonna fall for you if you sing that one.”

He stared at her a long moment. “I’d settle for just one.”

“Oh, please,” she said, rolling her eyes.

He opened his mouth to say something but then looked out the window instead. The driver was pulling the SUV into the front circle of a two story red brick school, its decorative planting beds filled with kangaroo palms. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“I don’t have any,” she answered, twisting her hands. Her meeting with Marcus was foremost in her mind. Anything beyond that seemed immaterial to her.

“I was thinking of going out to Coronado Island for the day. Eating lunch at the Del. Would you like to come with me?”

“I haven’t been to the beach since I was a kid.” She sighed longingly.

“I love the ocean, the smell of the salt spray, the sound of the waves. When I wanna get away that’s where I go. There’s a real nice stretch in front of the Del. More shells than people this time of the year. A great place to put things in perspective.”

“It would be good to get away from all the stress.” She was quiet for a moment, auburn brows coming together. “But I don’t think I should. I really can’t make any firm plans for tomorrow. But thanks for inviting me.”

At a formal ceremony in the school’s gym, Avery presented the superintendent of the district with a check from the foundation. Then she and Bryan sat at a folding table while the students lined up and filed past to get autographs.

A group of girls were still giggling at something Bryan had said as they moved to her. While Avery signed Brutal Strength CD’s for them she tuned into Bryan’s conversation with the next teen.

“Hang in there, man. It’ll get better.” Bryan was leaning forward, elbows on the table. “I know it feels as if high school’s the center of the universe right now, but it’s not.”

“Dude, if it wasn’t for my mom, I’d quit school. Get the hell out of here. Start over somewhere else.”

“I know. I felt the same way when I was your age. But my mom, my sisters, and I stuck it out together and found ways to make ends meet. Life wasn’t easy. It kept knocking us down, but we never stayed there. My mom went to school at nights and got her nursing degree.”

“Doesn’t that take four years?”

“It does if you don’t have to work days. It took her seven, but she did it. Don’t give up is what I’m trying to say.”

“I won’t.” He bumped knuckles with Bryan. “Thanks.”

“Take it easy, man.”

“Ok. Time’s up at the signing table,” the principal informed everyone, checking his watch. “Mr. Jackson and Miss Jones are going to perform a song for us before they leave.”

Avery and Bryan picked up their cases and moved to the folding chairs that were set up in the center of the gym.

Avery managed to smile at Bryan. Just like in LA, he’d been a big hit with the kids. He was confident, yet approachable, with an appealing hint of sensitivity beneath the swagger.

He rolled up the sleeves on his shirt. “You ready?” he asked, pick poised over the strings of his guitar.

Avery nodded and kept her head down, trying not to look up into the cameras flashing all around them.

Bryan bowed his head and strummed the opening chords, taking the lead on vocal and guitar. He rocked back and forth in his chair, his tatted arm draped over the instrument while his twinkling eyes remained on her face. She almost missed her cue to join him on the chorus. At the bridge, he changed the words “she does” to “you do,” personalizing the song. Her finger slipped and her string squeaked. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the image of those grey green eyes so focused on her face, to no avail.

And as cheers and whistles rained down on them, something inside of her responded.

“I
know
what the problem is,” Marcus grumbled. “This is the same old crap they talked to me about when I was in twelve-steps last year.”

“And yet here we are again.” The psychiatrist tucked a strand of grey hair back into her bun and peered over her reading glasses at him. She adjusted her jacket when Marcus was silent. “Very well, enlighten me.”

“I get frustrated with people or circumstances that I can’t control,” Marcus admitted, running an irritated hand through his hair. He glanced at his watch for the third time since the session had started.

“And so drinking makes you feel more in control?”

“Of course not. I used drugs in the past as a crutch to numb me, but not anymore.” He blew out a breath. “I thought I was ok, that I could handle a drink or two every once in a while.”

“I know they didn’t teach you
that
in rehab.” She leaned forward in her chair. “But everything you’ve shared with me today is pretty superficial. I believe that identifying the underlying issues is the key to moving forward.”

Marcus tensed.
Soul searching sucked.

“That’s what I want you to think about over the next twenty-four hours.” She stood and tucked her laptop into her attaché case. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll determine how committed you are to really kicking this thing.”

After escorting the doctor out, Marcus spent the rest of the morning thinking about their conversation.

Maybe the shrink was right. Maybe there was something to this psychobabble shit.

The truth was all his life he’d felt like he didn’t measure up. Not to other’s expectations, certainly not to his own. This perception had always been his reality. Quick success hadn’t changed anything for him, not really. It had just given him more distractions- money, women, and drugs. But for him, anything less than perfection felt more like failure.

Actually, he knew a major part of the deal was that he spent way
too
much time inside his head, his fallback place. He found it extremely difficult to let loose, especially when it came to relationships. Except with Avery. She had this way of making him feel like
he
was all that mattered. Just him. Who he was, not what he did or didn’t do. She pushed past all the public persona and neurosis and reached inside of him.

She was way too good for him. He’d known that back when he proposed, but being without her that week before was hell, and he’d not wanted to ever risk being apart from her again. So, he had made the selfish decision. But now, he had to do the noble thing. His own wants and desires had to be set aside.

A woman like her deserved a man who had his shit together, not someone who was buried in it.

A banging on his hotel door brought his thoughts back to the reality in front of him.

“Marcus!” Dwight shouted.

Well, shit. Great timing,
he thought
.
Why couldn’t his brother have come a little earlier and interrupted the two hour torture session with the therapist, instead of right now when he needed to finish up with Adrienne?

“Be back here around ten thirty,” he said to the ethereal blonde sitting across from him. Years ago Adrienne had been an arresting beauty, but now her looks were showing the wear and tear from years of hard living. He ignored another knock on the door. “Don’t be late,” he admonished.

“Don’t worry, honey.” She put a hand on his chest. “I can’t wait.” She picked up her purse off of the chair and preceded him to the door. He stepped up to hold it open for her.

Dwight’s eyes widened when he saw her.

“Hi, Dwight.” Baby blue eyes accentuated with heavy liner looked him over suggestively.

“Adrienne.” He glanced up and down the hall before giving Marcus a stern look. “What the hell are you doing?”

Marcus raised a brow.

“I’d like to do you both.” Adrienne glanced back and forth between the two brothers. “For old times’ sake.” Her manicured hands patted both their cheeks.

“In case you didn’t notice,” Dwight said as he withdrew her hand. “I’m a married man now.”

“I know that, honey.” She gave a low laugh. “Those little rings don’t stop most of them.”

“I’m not most of them,” he said, glaring at Marcus.

“Well, you don’t have to be rude about it, honey.”

“I’ll see you later,” Marcus told her firmly with a swat on her rear to get her going.

“Looking forward to it,” she said wiggling her ass as she sashayed down the hall.

When she was out of earshot, Dwight rounded on him. “Have you lost your ever loving mind?” he asked, storming inside the room. He glanced at the made up bed before turning around. “Tell me you aren’t sleeping with her?”

Marcus crossed his arms over his chest.

“What are you thinking, man? When Avery finds out, it’ll end things between you two for good.”

“Stay out of it, Dwight.” Marcus’ jaw tightened. “It doesn’t concern you.”

“The hell it doesn’t.” Dwight’s face settled into angry lines. “You know what? Never mind. Suit yourself. You always do. You want to destroy your life? Go right ahead.” His shoulder brushed against Marcus as he strode briskly toward the door. He opened it and paused without turning around. “But you might think about the rest of us for once.”

Marcus let out a long breath staring at the door long after it clicked closed.

That’s exactly what I’m doing
.

“Hey sis, how’re you holding up?”

“I’m alright,” Avery sighed, putting Justin on speaker while she stepped into her clothes for the concert.

“You don’t sound very convincing.”

“I don’t know, Justin,” she said impatiently. “Listen, I’ve only got a couple of minutes before I go on and I need to get makeup.”

“You’ve been skirting around the subject every time I bring it up. I know you don’t want to talk about Marcus. That it’s real awkward given the fact that Dad and I are staying with his family. But I’ve been silent long enough so I’m gonna speak my piece.” He paused. “The guy’s a jerk. He’s not worth it, Avery. The way he’s treated you throughout this whole deal, it pisses me off.”

“Justin, please.” Her voice caught. “This isn’t helping.”

“It just makes me crazy not being there for you when you really need me.”

“You are, though.” Tears filled her eyes. “Hearing your voice. Knowing you’re just a phone call away. It’s keeping my head above water,” she admitted.

“Dad wants to talk to you.”

“Not now, Justin.”

“Avery, c’mon. He’s really worried, too.”

“Just for a minute then. I’m really late already.” She heard him hand the phone over.

“Kat?”

“Yes.”

“I know you’re hurting right now. I’m sorry I can’t do more to help.”

“Arthur, I’ve gotta get going.”

“Just one more thing, Kat, and I’ll let you go. I have to say I agree with your brother. He doesn’t deserve you. But thank God, love isn’t always about getting what you deserve. Sometimes you get better. Like with me and your mom.”

She ended the call and sank down on the chair, remembering how he used to always know the right thing to say when she was upset. This was the dad she had lost. Hot tears escaped from her eyes and rolled down her cold cheeks.