Love Resisted (The Real Love Series) (9 page)

CHAPTER NINE

ALLIE was in a bad mood. Even though her friends surrounded her, and well, it seemed they were his friends now, too, she was cranky. Why? Because she was set on going out and enjoying her night, and here he was,
again
. Everywhere she went, there he was. He was a total leech.
Get your own friends, buddy
…
these ones were hers
.

Following the baseball game, and how open she had been with him, she felt too exposed. So what did she do this week? She managed to avoid him entirely—left for work early, came home late a few times, even slept over at her brother’s house one of those nights. What made it worse was the day she found a note on her door from him. It said he stopped by to see if she wanted some dinner since he had extras. She didn’t find it ‘til the next morning, which made her feel really bad. She was acting childish and ridiculous
, again.

Allie sighed; she hated self-realization. If she came to a personal conclusion before she was told, it was a certainty. She knew she needed to get over Mike infiltrating her group of friends. Hell, she considered him
her
friend, so why did it bother her so much that he seemed to click so well with everyone else? They were hers and she didn’t want to share with him? No matter how little sense it made, it made her tense and anxious nonetheless.

At some point she really needed to relax and let him in. She enjoyed being around him. They had a good time
together, even when she was being a total bitch. He didn’t let her get away with it—he would go toe-to-toe with her and come back for more. So why was she resisting him again? Oh yeah, she didn’t want happiness with a man, as it only led to pain. Hardening her resolve, she tried to rejoin the scene going on around her.

Most of the gang was there so she should be in her happy place. Even though flickers of guilt assailed her at times, for the most part, she allowed the happiness that came with them. Having removed herself over the past five years as much as she could without breaking her heart any more, she was glad she allowed herself the luxury of returning home to be a part of their everyday lives. It was the way it was supposed to be.
He
would’ve wanted her to be there. Wasn’t that the reason he commuted the distance he did? It was all for her. It was a shame it took her as long as it did to realize she was kind of shitting all over what he tried to do for her by moving away from the family. He knew how important they all were to her, yet in the face of devastation, she felt she didn’t deserve them. But her punishment had been served, and she was going to move forward.

“Earth to Allie … come in Allie.” A voice filtered through her foggy brain
, dragging her from her thoughts. Blinking twice, she resisted the need to shake her head and refocus on her surroundings. Looking over at Gillian seated next to her, she met one of the sweetest, most knowing smiles she could find. There really wasn’t anyone like her.

“There you are. I was thinking I’d have to send a search party into that brain of yours. You looked so lost in thought.” She raised a questioning brow, but Allie only smiled back. She really needed to stop doing that, but she couldn’t help it. It was Mike’s fault for making her think things she didn’t want to think about.

“I’m here, sorry ‘bout that. My mind tends to wander lately.”

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with a tall, dark, and handsome neighbor of yours, would it?” Allie knew it was useless trying to hide anything from Gillian, but she knew she didn’t want to talk about it there, with everyone in earshot.

Mike and Jake were playing pool not five feet from her, and Jason stood off to the side with Logan, taking it all in. Allie sat with Gillian because Jake had given her strict instructions—if she wanted to hang out—to stay seated most of the night to avoid any swelling. Pregnancy didn’t at all sound like fun, but she really couldn’t say much about it, as she had nothing to compare it to. But Gillian was working on her fourth one, so it couldn’t be all that bad. Just something else Allie wasn’t allowed in life.
Oh well
.

Allie tried to avoid answering her too-receptive friend and turned toward the men. She watched as Mike played pool with Jake and took in how they seemed to be enjoying the friendly competition, while Jason and Logan joined in the banter with them.
Yep … he was part of the crew now
. It was like he had always been there, or maybe like he had filled a vacancy. But that thought sucked because the only vacancy belonged to Marc.
He wasn’t Marc!

“You’re right, he’s not. But none of us think that.”

“What?” Confused, she looked over at Gillian again.

“I said, you’re right, he isn’t Marc.” It took Allie a second to realize she’d spoken out loud.

Knowing her statement would be an invitation to discuss things she really had no desire to discuss, she said, “Oh. I hadn’t realized I said that out loud.” She frowned as she turned her attention back to the pool table, but Gillian pressed on.

“When are you going to give in and take a chance, Allie?”

Allie sighed, tired of the same old conversation with her family. “Give it a rest, Gillian.”

It was Gillian’s turn to sigh. “You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

Completely shocked that her longtime friend actually just said that, she turned with wide eyes and stared before asking, “Did you just call me a bitch?”

“Sure did … and I’ll go one step further and tell you that you’ve been one
a lot
lately.” For the second time in less than a minute, Allie was stunned and had no clue what to say in her defense. But she didn’t need to, of course, because Gillian pressed on. “Seriously Allie, the sulking is becoming a bit much. You really need to snap out of it and pull your head out of your ass before that man changes his mind. You know, forever is really only worth it if you’re with someone.”

Allie took offense to what Gillian was saying. If it wasn’t so foreign coming from her, she probably would’ve known how to handle it. Anyone else would’ve been dealt with a heaping dose of Allie-the-Bitch. But Gillian, not so much. Must be the pregnancy hormones or something.
Yeah, latch onto bullshit excuses why don’t you
.

“What the hell, Gilly, new batch of hormones or something?” Allie tried to laugh it off, but for some reason felt uncomfortable with it.

“Your attempt at blowing off what I said only proves my point … you need to pull your head out of your ass.”

She opened her mouth to counter the unexpected attack, but didn’t know what to say. Had she been a bitch lately? She could admit that she was grumpy at times, but not a bitch. At least not to anyone other than Mike. Or so she had thought. Still unsure how to defend herself, she offered a lame response. “I’m not sulking.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at her friend, who only gestured at Allie’s defensive posture and added, “See, totally sulking.”

Quickly uncrossing her arms, she tried to find a posit
ion that didn’t resemble a sulky, pouting bitch. She let out a big huff as she dropped her arms to the tabletop, apparently unable to act naturally, and looked at Gillian. In a weak voice, one she didn’t really recognize, she asked, “Have I really been that bitchy? I didn’t mean to be.”

“Of course you didn’t, sweetie, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been. I get it, I do. That guy over there has you all tied in knots, and you can’t help but fight it.” Gillian reached over and took Allie’s hands in hers. “You said it yourself—he isn’t Marc, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want him.” She dropped her gaze to the table. Of course Gillian hit that nail on the head. She did want him, and not just the part of him she was pretty damn certain would deliver nothing short of fantastic sexual satisfaction. She wanted to be around him, to enjoy his conversations and company.
And wasn’t that just a swift kick in the crotch?

Allie blinked rapidly as her thoughts brought tears front and center. Looking up at Gillian, who noticed her immediate need to flee said, “And there it is, you just figured it out, didn’t you? Okay, potty break time. Let’s go, help me up, and the men will leave us alone.” Thankful for her friend knowing her so well, she jumped up and helped Gillian maneuver her awkward body off the high stool. Jake must’ve started toward them because she heard Gillian say, “I’m fine, keep playing. You know you’re not allowed in the ladies room anyway. Thank God.”

Allie giggled a bit as they made their way to the bathroom when she heard Jake say, “Just try and keep me out.” Allie was thankful to be away from a specific set of prying eyes she feared would see more than she was ready to show him … now or ever.

MIKE watched as Allie escorted Gillian to the bathroom. The two of them had been deep in conversation. Well,
maybe it could be better described as a lecture. Gillian was talking, Allie was listening—clearly surprised, maybe even a bit hurt. He had been discreetly watching, trying not to get caught. When he noticed her eyes fill with tears, he had to fight his immediate desire to go to her, comfort or protect her. He practically had to use the damn pool stick to hold him place. It wasn’t his place to do any of that stuff—she wasn’t
his,
but damn he wished she was.

Jake patting him on his shoulder tore his gaze away from the direction the ladies disappeared. “Hard to watch them walk away, isn’t it?” Jake raised his eyebrows in question and gave Mike a knowing smile. Of course Jake knew what that was like—knew what it was like to want someone and have her just out of reach. Mike had heard the story of how Jake and Gillian came to be. He just hoped he didn’t have to stay in the friend-zone for as long as Jake did. There was no need for him to lie to the man so
he nodded his head in agreement. “And it keeps getting harder.”

“She still turning you down?”

“Yeah, I’ve let up on that. I just keep invading her space now, hoping I can just become a part of it. Before she realizes it’s happened.” He snorted a laugh and shrugged his shoulder at how sad that sounded. It reeked of desperation. “I know it sounds weird, but I just don’t want to hear her tell me no again.”

“I get it, man, believe me I do. But how is she going to say yes if you don’t ask?”

The man had a point, but as long as he was willing to ride it out, as much as he just enjoyed being with her, he wanted more. He wanted to touch her whenever he wanted to. He wanted to hold her body against his, feel her body around him. And then, right on cue, his body responded to the mental image he conjured of Allie’s body stretched out beneath him. His pants suddenly uncomfortable, Mike tried to get himself under control as he watched Jake line up his next shot. When he stood up and looked at him, Mike asked, “Got any tips for how to get her to say yes this time?”

Mike assessed his options for shots as Jake had left him none, so he attempted an impossible one as he waited for an answer. “With Allie, it’s got to be a
go big or go home
kinda thing. She doesn’t do cliché, but she’s a chick, so they like it when you put yourself out there.” Considering Jake’s advice, he tried to think what might make her entertain his offer. It definitely wasn’t a problem “putting himself out there” since he didn’t embarrass easily. But what could he do? The annoying wailing of a person attempting karaoke on the other side of the bar interrupted his thoughts. Looking over, he couldn’t help but cringe at the high-pitched noise that didn’t sound human. Reflexively, his shoulders climbed a bit in an obvious attempt to shield his delicate eardrums from the noise. There was no luck in doing so as he watched Jake clear the rest of his balls from the table and win the game.

“Gonna have to demand a rematch, man. Preferably when it doesn’t sound like a cat’s being skinned in the next
room,” Mike said to Jake as they shook hands and made their way to the table where the ladies had just returned. The screeching continued up on stage and obviously caught Allie’s attention.

“Quick, someone put that drunk fool out of their misery. Jake, lay yourself over your unborn child and protect her still developing eardrums. Why would anyone climb up there and sing when they clearly have to know they can’t?” Allie said as they all laughed and turned their attention to the waitress who stopped by for drink orders. After ordering another round for the ones who were drinking, and an ice water for Gillian, Mike turned his attention back to Allie.

“What if that person was doing it in an attempt to prove something?” Mike asked.

Allie made a snorting sound and said, “Must be a big point to prove if he sounds like that. At some point self-preservation has to kick in and tell a person they really shouldn’t be doing that.”

“So you wouldn’t do it?” he asked.

“Of course I would, but I don’t sound like that.” She paused and gave him a considering look, before asking, “Would you?”

“That depends on the stakes. If I had to I would,” he answered without hesitation.

Allie laughed, “Yeah, right.”

“Don’t believe me?”

“Not even a little. Sane, sober men don’t sing karaoke.” She glanced over at the rest of the men, who were watching their exchange, before they nodded their agreement with her. When she looked back at him she smiled and said, “Are you sane and sober, Lawson?”

He just smiled big as an idea came to mind. “What’ll you give me if I do it?” Her smiled faltered a little before he saw her confidence kick in; she was going to challenge him.