Love Out of Order (Indigo Love Spectrum) (38 page)

“It’s Sasha, isn’t it?” I mumbled into his shirt.

“Yeah,” John sighed.

“Answer it. Tell her,” I said suddenly, looking up. He
smiled. He took my hand in his and led me back inside
as he answered his phone. He put it on speaker.

“Hey Sasha,” he said, setting the phone on the coffee
table and sitting on the sofa. He pulled me onto his lap. I smiled, burying my head in his shirt again. I’d missed
his smell so much. I’d missed his everything so much.

“Where have you been? You haven’t returned any of my messages. I called you like, five times,” she snapped.

John put his arm around me, squeezing my shoulder.
“Sorry. I’ve had a busy morning.”

“What? Where are you? You’re supposed to be on
your way to Boston. We have our engagement pictures
tomorrow.”

“I’m in Vegas,” John said.

“Vegas? What the hell are you doing in Vegas?”

“I’m with Denise. It’s over, Sasha. For real this time.”

Sasha let out a shrill, piercing sound I can only
describe as a howl. “Enough of this nonsense, John. I
have your grandmother’s ring. And I’ve booked the
cathedral. You know how hard it is to get that reserva
tion? And you just can’t do this. I’m coming to get you
right now!”

“Good luck finding me,” John said. “This is Vegas. There are a lot of places I could be.”

“I’m calling your mother right now. I’m going to put
her on three-way right now!
”

“Go ahead. She needs to hear this, too. Thanks,”
John said.

I
looked up at him. He kissed my forehead. I rested my head on his shoulder, smiling. I couldn’t remember
the last time I’d felt so happy.

“Archer residence,” John’s mom’s shrill voice came
through.

“Liz! He’s in Vegas! With Denise!” Sasha roared.
“John! John!” Elizabeth sounded hysterical.

“Hi, Mom. Say hi, Denise,” John said, grinning.
“Hi,” I said.

“Denise and I wanted you to be the first two to know. We’re engaged,” John said. I stared at him wordlessly. He
whispered to me, “If you’ll have my stupid ass.”

“You can’t be engaged to her. You’re engaged to me!”
Sasha screamed at the same time John’s mother screamed
something similar.

“Not anymore,” John said. “Mom, it’s between you and Sasha how you’re getting Grandma’s ring back. It’s
not my concern anymore. I wouldn’t want to give it to
Denise even if you’d let me. And I’m sure she wouldn’t
want it, anyway,” John said.

I turned around to face him, my knees straddled on
either side of him. I pulled him to me in a fierce kiss.

“John. We have discussed this,” his mom said.

“No, John! You get your butt back here right now!”

I couldn’t tell you how long they screamed into that
phone or anything else they said. John and I had stopped
paying attention to them. He was my world and I was
his. And we also had a lot of kissing to catch up on.

Later that evening, John and I were still on the sofa. Suse and Astoria had insisted on getting their own room, at least for that night. We were just lying there together. I had never been happier to do anything than to just lie
in his arms. The only thing we’d done since breaking the
news to Sasha and Elizabeth was take a nap. We hadn’t even moved from that spot. That evening was delicious.

I watched the sun sink lower in the sky, so satisfied
with everything
.

“I got you something for Valentine’s Day. Obviously,
I never got to give it to you. I brought it with me,” John
said.

“What is it?” I asked, pulling his arms tighter around me.

“First, you never answered my question earlier.”
“You never asked properly,” I said, knowing exactly
what he was referring to.

John smiled, getting up from behind me. “Fair
enough.” He went over to his bag and pulled out a small,
black box. He turned back to me. My eyes went wide. My
mouth went dry. “You’re the one I really wanted to ask.”

“Huh?” I said weakly.

“Now, I wanted a romantic dinner. I had rented a tux.
I was going to go all out. And I want you to remember
that when you tell people about this. But I can’t wait anymore.”

“Huh?” I stared down at the black velvet.

John dropped to one knee in front of me. He opened
the box. Even in the dim light of the room, that thing
was sparkling. It was the biggest rock I’d ever seen in real
life. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. John gently lifted my
chin, bringing my eyes back to his.

“
So. I already gave you my huge speech on why you
make my life worthwhile earlier today. And you do. You really do. And I want you to keep doing that forever. Will
you marry me?” John was grinning.

I thought my face would crack with the smile spreading over it as I nodded vigorously. I couldn’t make words come out. I didn’t even try. He took the ring out of the box. My heart was pounded as he took my left hand in his.

As he slid the ring onto my finger, I finally found my
voice again. “So you were going to ask me then?”
“Yeah.”

“But you barely knew me.”

“I knew that I couldn’t get enough of you.”

“And you asked Sasha instead,” I said, my anger
flaring a little; I forced myself to not give into it. That
was the past.

“I know. It wasn’t smart. I was a moron.”

“Yep.”

“All I can say is I’m sorry. I mean, I can’t go back in
time. I wish I could. There’s so much time I wouldn’t
waste not being with you if I could,” John said quietly,
earnestly. I just sat there, staring at him, trying to take it
all in. “So?”

“I think I deserve another big speech,” I finally
responded.

“I think you do, too. I think you deserve anything you want that I can possibly give to you,” John said,
kissing my hand gently. I held it up to my face, inches
from it. Wow. Was that really mine?

“Okay, so big speech,” I grinned, admiring my hand.

H
e took my hand down from my face, kissing it
again. He nodded. “Denise, I can’t believe how lucky I
am. I thought my dumb ass had ruined everything
between us. It killed me to see you with Erich at
Barrister’s. It killed me to see you and not be with you. I
hated to see Donnovan near you. I wanted to kill Tyler
when he touched you. I think I tried to.

“I thought I had ruined everything. And I almost did.
But then, this miracle happened today. You decided to
give me a second chance. Not that I deserve it. And I
don’t know what I can ever do to make things up to you.
But I’m going to try my hardest to do that.

“I was so stupid. I had the most wonderful thing I’d
ever seen or known in my life. And I did worse than let it go. I pushed it away. And I would have hated myself
for that for the rest of my life, but you rescued me from
myself yet again by forgiving me. You are a beautiful
person. I’m better because you love me. My life has
worth—meaning—because you want to be in it. And all I could think of from the moment I was stupid enough to drive off and leave you standing there that day was how all the light was gone from my life because I was
dumb enough to let it go. No. To make it go.

“And all this time, it seemed like the more I tried to
tell myself I was doing the right thing, the more I realized
just how wrong I was. I was crazy to do what I did. And
I drove myself even crazier after I did it. I was hurting,
Denise. I know I hurt you and it kills me that I did. But
I was hurting, too. And knowing what I was doing to you
made it even worse.

“
But tonight, you healed me. Tonight, you changed
everything. For the better. I’m never going to be the same
John again. And I don’t want to be. I want to be better. I
want to be the man you deserve. And I want us to have a
great life together. I want to marry you. And for us to
have a family. And I want us to raise our kids to be just
like you. Because you are the best, most golden person I
know in this world.

“And I don’t care what my parents or anyone else
thinks. Our life—our love has nothing to do with them.
They don’t have anything I need. Because all I need is
you. And if they can’t accept you, then they can’t accept
me. You’re a part of me. You always will be. The very best
part of me. I love them, but they’re stupid. And if I never
talk to them again, it won’t be because of anything I did
wrong, and definitely not because of anything you did
wrong. And so I’m okay with that. They either accept all of me, which includes you, or they accept none of me.

“And so, all this love I have for you. This love is so
big, so deep, I can’t—I don’t know how to explain it. I
can’t put it into words. All this love is all that matters.
That’s all I know. That and I want to be close to you for
ever. Because you bring me a joy. A joy and a peace that
I’ve never known before. I just feel like things are so nat
ural when I’m with you. They are the way they should be.
I just—love you so much. You’re all that’s best about me.
And all I can do is say that I love you, I never stopped
loving you, and I will always love you so much that I
just—I feel like my heart isn’t even big enough to hold it
all,” John said.

I
couldn’t think of a word to say. I suddenly became
aware of the fact that I had been crying as he gently
wiped tears of joy, anger, and frustration from my face. I
gave him a watery smile. He kissed me gently. I sighed
happily against his lips as he pulled me to him.

THIS ISN’T WHAT
THEY WANTED

John and I never stopped kissing all the way to the
bedroom. Our lips only broke contact as we hastily
removed our shirts. I couldn’t believe that any of it was
real. As we fell back onto the bed, I pressed my body into
John’s. I wanted to be surrounded by him. I fully enjoyed
his hands, lips and tongue all over my skin. He filled up
my world in a way I had longed for ever since he’d lost
his mind and left me. Especially since the night of
Barrister’s. He was the world to me and I never wanted
anything else to exist ever again.

“I wanted you so much that night in the hotel room,” I whispered in his ear.

“I know. I don’t blame you for leaving, though. I was
such an ass,” he whispered back, gently biting at my
earlobe.

“Yeah, well, that’s the past now. I’m so glad that’s the
past.”

“What’s this?” John asked with an amused grin. He
was holding the picture that had been beneath the pillow.
I tried to grab it, but he moved away from me. “Oh, I
t
hink somebody likes me,” he said, moving to the edge of
the bed.

“You are such a jerk,” I said, laughing. I reached for him again, and he fell off the bed in the process of trying
to get away from me. I laughed even harder. “See? That’s
what you get!”

“Denise, you’re a strange person,” John laughed,
fending off the pillow I was attempting to beat him with
as he jumped back onto the bed.

“Yeah?” I said.

He threw the pillow back to the head of the bed.
“Oh, yeah,” he said as he gently slid one of my bra straps
down and kissed my shoulder. “You uh—run away from
me, but you still keep a picture of me under your pillow.”

“Who says I was running away from you?” I asked
breathily as he laughed into my other shoulder. He
dropped my bra to the floor. “I never said why I left.”

“Well, how many law-students-turned-blackjack
dealers do you know? You had a burning passion sud
denly so intense, it compelled you to come out to Vegas
and pursue your true calling?”