Love Me Tonight (22 page)

“Oh, my Lord, I'm dying. You're killing me. Oh, Lord, I'm… Oh, Judson. I want you to love me.” She bucked beneath him and then lay still. Breathless.

“I do love you,” he moaned. “You're my life.” He poured the essence of himself into her and collapsed in her arms.

“I haven't got enough strength to drink a glass of water,” he happily complained. “I'd better stay away from you till I finish this case.”

“I'm not sure how much help I'll be able to give you with your case, though I'll try.”

He moved from her, fell over on his back and tucked her to his side. “What's going to happen with Annie?”

“Shows you where my head is. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to sell the house in Hagerstown, buy one in Frederick and settle there. Annie's what's left of my family, so my home is her home.”

She felt him stiffen.

“I assume you planned to tell me. Actually, I think that's a good idea. I don't like your being farther away from me, though I'm pleased that you'll be near the Harringtons in Eagle Park.”

He continued, “Don't forget you're my date at my dinner for Scott. I've decided to ask Velma to handle it. She did a super job on the reception following your father's interment.”

He gripped her in a fierce hug, kissed her and said, “Will you be hurt if I leave? Telford isn't going to ask for a DNA test because he's satisfied with the information he has. But I want as much proof as I can get, so I have to request it. I'm going to Frederick tomorrow morning to get an order for it.” She
did
mind, because she hated for him to leave her. Hadn't he noticed that she needed him more? Something had happened to her on that early morning beside a witch hazel tree. She'd developed an ache for something she didn't have. He didn't notice that she'd changed, and she didn't know how to reveal it short of announcing it.

“I mind,” she said, “because I'm happiest when I'm with you. But I don't resent your going.” He kissed her, dressed and left.

She'd loved him for a long time, months at least, or thought she had. But this was different. She needed him. If he needed her, he wasn't acting like it.

J
udson reached for the handle on the door of his car and paused. Had he detected a slight chill when he kissed Heather goodbye? He shook his head, certain that he must have imagined it. He drove home thinking that Heather was the first person he'd ever let drive his car, and that included Scott. The minute after he walked into his house, he remembered that he hadn't eaten dinner and telephoned his friend.

“Say, man. Anything to eat at your place? I just got in and remembered that I haven't eaten since lunch.”

“Sure,” Scott said. “I have hot dogs, two frozen pizzas and a Hungry Man frozen roast beef dinner.”

“Pizza. I'll be right over with a six pack.”

 

“I'm having a hard time accepting that Heather turned down a second ambassadorship,” Judson said
to Scott, washing down the pizza with beer. “She was so driven for a post, and she's been working so hard for it. I don't want to question her about it too much, because she might misunderstand.”

“Look, Judson, Heather is not stupid, as you well know. Those are graveyard posts, she hates frigid weather and she knows that they know she deserves better. Most of all, I don't think she wants to sign on to be away from you for two full years, and she knows you are not going to Lithuania with her. She loves you, and she's doesn't want to give you up.”

“I love her, too, but I'm not sure I'd do that.”

“That's the difference between her position in life and yours. You're a man, and you'd expect her to go with you, but if she asked you to leave your practice and spend two years with her at her ambassadorial post, you'd ask her if she'd lost her mind. You and most other guys.”

“Yeah, but that's because I can't work overseas. I'm a lawyer, and—”

“You're kidding yourself, buddy. There's an American company in most overseas countries, and they need lawyers.”

“Okay. Are you free for dinner next Thursday?”

“Sure.”

“Good. Meet me at the Harbor Court Hotel at seven. Also, wear your tux, and don't forget to put on some socks.”

“I always wear socks this time of year. What's up?”

“You're invited to dinner. Look, I'd better be going.
That lawsuit's going to trial, and I have to argue the case. Thanks for the pizza.”

“Sure thing, buddy. And thanks for the beer.”

Judson got into his car, took out his cell phone to call Heather and saw that he'd missed a call. He didn't recognize the number, but he dialed it nonetheless.

“Hello. This is Judson returning your call.”

“Thanks. This is Telford. I won't keep you. We're going to have a christening ceremony for Marc, my son, next Sunday at two-thirty in the afternoon. It'll be at Second Presbyterian Church. We'd love for you and Heather to be with us.”

“Thank you for asking me to come. I'll ask Heather if she can make it, but I'll be there in any case.”

“That's great. We're only inviting relatives and a few very close friends. We'll leave from my house, if that suits you?”

“Fine. I should be at your place around one-thirty. A bit earlier if the weather is bad.”

“Thanks. Give my love to Heather.”

“I will. Give mine to your family.”

Did people give christening gifts? Heather would know. Velma certainly should. As soon as he walked into his house, he dialed Heather's number.

“Hi,” she said in a sleepy voice. “Judson?”

“Right. I'm sorry if I awakened you. It's only nine-thirty, or I wouldn't have called.”

“I fell asleep in front of the TV. Did you eat any dinner?”

“Yeah. I went by Scott's place and ate a pizza. If I'd
had my head on straight, we could have had something together. Telford called a few minutes ago and invited us to Marc's christening next Sunday. I hope you can come.”

“I'd like to.”

“Then I'll be at your place at twelve o'clock. And I've invited Scott to dinner on Thursday. He agreed, and he's bringing his girl. I told him to wear a tux, but I didn't tell him there'll be twenty at the dinner.”

“Okay. I won't mention that.”

“I may increase the number to thirty, because I'd like the Harrington brothers and their wives to attend. It's time I returned some favors.”

May as well get it over with, he said to himself. “Sweetheart, are you displeased with me?”

“Am I…why do you ask me that?”

“When I kissed you good-night, your response seemed a little frosty. Twenty minutes earlier, you gave yourself to me so joyously and… What happened during that short interval?”

“It's…I—”

“No matter how it sounds or how you think it will make me feel, give it to me straight.”

“I…uh…I guess I lied when I said I didn't resent your leaving me right then. I minded, and I resented it. For the first time in my life, I felt—”

“Say it.”

“I feel vulnerable. I mean, I wanted to hold you in my arms, but you wanted to leave me minutes after…after practically taking me to heaven.”

“I see. Do you realize that if you'd told me that, I wouldn't have left you? Don't ever mislead me about your feelings, because whatever's wrong will only get worse. If something isn't all right, tell me. That's not all of it, but I get it.”

“I'm… Judson, I'm not used to feeling like this.”

“I'm sure of that. And neither am I, but knowing that I need you in order to be complete doesn't perturb me. I'm happy about it. We shouldn't be having this conversation over the phone, Heather.
Listen
to me!
I've had no other love. I have only loved you.
”

“It's the same with me, Judson. I've liked other men, but I never before thought I loved a man. It scared me. Kiss me good-night. I'm fine now.” They made the sound of a kiss, and he didn't hang up until after she did.

So that was it. She could accept and enjoy loving him, but the realization that she needed him frightened her. As a successful, independent woman who was very capable of running her life as she pleased, Heather had not planned to need a man or anyone else.

 

The next morning, Heather awakened with the wonderment of how she had changed. After extricating herself from one unfulfilling relationship, she had promised herself that she would forever chart her own course, and love lightly, if at all. Easier vowed than practiced, because she hadn't met Judson Philips.

She got two cups of coffee from the canteen on the first floor of the building in which she worked and,
instead of going to her own office, she knocked on Scott's office door. “If it's not important, keep walking,” he said.

She opened the door, put a container of coffee on his desk and took a seat. “Have you ever been in love, Scott?”

“Good morning. Thanks for the coffee. Why?”

She stood. “If you're not in a good mood, I'll take my coffee and—”

“For goodness' sake, sit down. I've been in deep like, but I don't know that you'd call it love.”

“Trust me, if you'd been in love, you'd know it. It's…is it a good thing to want to be with someone every second of the day and night? For the last week, I just don't want to be away from him, and this thing started before my father died, so that's not the source of it. I want to know what he thinks about everything, and I want him to experience everything that I enjoy. If something exasperates me, I want his comfort. It's crazy as hell, Scott. Maybe I don't like this.”

“You don't want to need the guy. Is that it?”

“I don't know. I'm not used to it, and I refuse to become a demanding, clinging woman. I'd hate myself.”

“Look, babe, if a man loves you, he wants you to love him and need him. That's important to him. If you don't need him, he'll find a woman who does. Need is the essence of the relationship between lovers and spouses. When it's gone, so goes the relationship. So you watch it.”

“I'm almost sorry you got your new job. Who'll I talk to when I get into trouble?”

“You'll talk to Judson. Share with him, and you won't get into trouble, at least not where he's concerned.”

She kissed his forehead, went to her office and telephoned Pamela. “Hi, Pam. Judson and I are invited to Marc's christening Sunday. Is there a dress-up reception after the service, or will church clothes suffice?”

“Hi. Any street dress or suit will do it. We're coming back to Telford's after the christening. At the most we'll be about fifteen people. Alexis and Velma's father, my parents, you and Judson, Jack and Melanie Ferguson are the others coming. Russ and Velma are to be the godparents. So, except for Jack and Melanie, it's family.”

She digested that for a minute. “But, Pamela, I'm not family.”

Pamela's throaty laughter reached her through the wire. “Not yet, but I don't think New Year's will find you single.”

At the thought of being married to Judson Philips, shivers raced through her. “How did you feel when you first got married? I mean, before you got used to it?”

“Great. I walked on air from the minute I knew we'd be married, and I'm still high on him. Any sane person can see that you and Judson love each other deeply. Let me tell you that no matter how good it is when you're single, it's better and better when he's yours and you know it. Trust me on this.”

“Thanks for sharing. I can see what I missed by not having a sister.”

“I don't have one either, but you and I can support each other.”

“Thank you, Pamela. That gives me a good feeling.” But would she feel good if she surrendered her freedom in exchange for marriage with Judson or any other man? For various reasons, fifty percent of marriages in the United States went sour, leaving one or both spouses devastated. She tried to shake off the thought.

Later, on the way home, she passed a designer dress shop and saw an evening gown that she liked. “Do you have it in red or a pastel color?” she asked the saleswoman. Told that it came only in white, she declined to buy it. She didn't look great in white, and she didn't want to give Judson the impression that she was dropping a hint.

“I can't always wear dusty rose,” she said to herself, remembering the royal blue velvet that she'd worn once and headed home. “It would make the perfect dinner dress.”

 

She hadn't expected to enjoy that dinner party, but she did. Velma had placed her at one end of the table opposite Judson, with Scott at her right and Drake on her left. Drake, she discovered, had a droll sense of humor and piercing insight into personalities. He and Scott were perfect matches for each other. Suddenly, it hit her. Some aspects of Drake's personality reminded
her of Judson. She made a mental note to ask Scott if he agreed with her.

“Why didn't you tell me that Judson planned this party for me?” Scott asked her. “It's the fanciest thing anybody ever did for me.”

“He loves you, Scott, and he hates cocktail parties, so what option did he have?”

“Gotcha. I want the name of the person who planned this shindig for him. It's perfect.”

“Drake's sister-in-law is an event planner right down to the lightbulbs,” she told him. “I think Judson is about to say something.”

She gazed at Judson Philips, who stood resplendent in a black tux and royal blue accessories. He pointed toward Scott. “Our guest of honor is headed for his first ambassadorship, and he and I will be separated for the first time since kindergarten. To his left, and my hostess for the evening, is Dr. Heather Tatum, my date and the woman I love.”

Both Scott and Drake looked at her and gave her the thumbs-up sign.

“When a man puts it on the line like that,” Drake said, “he means business.”

She wanted to stand up and let all of them see the woman Judson Philips said he loved, but she let prudence prevail and remained in her chair. “I'll kiss him for that,” she said to herself. After coffee and liqueurs in an anteroom beside the dining room, Judson thanked everyone for coming, said good-night to Scott and walked over to her.

“I'd like to leave now. Does that suit you?”

For an answer she put her arm through his and let the happiness she felt spill out of her in a smile. “I'm with you.”

“That's what I like to hear.”

He assisted her into his car, went around to the driver's side and got in. She wondered why he didn't turn the ignition, but he sat there and said nothing.

“What is it, Judson?”

“One of the most important trials I've had since I began my practice comes up next week, and I won't be able to see you until it's over.”

“But you won't be busy in the evenings,” she said and immediately wanted to bite her tongue.

He started the engine, moved away from the curb into the flow of traffic that led away from the Inner Harbor and drove half a dozen blocks. She knew she'd said the wrong thing, but she hadn't thought it would irritate him.

“I didn't mean that the way it sounded,” she said.

“I'm glad to hear it. As you know, I do not trust my reputation to anybody.”

“And that's why you're one of the best lawyers anywhere. Remember that I'm not a bad lawyer myself. If I can help, I want to, so please let me know.”

“Thank you. This is the first time you offered help, and I appreciate it.”

What was she supposed to say to that? He did share his concerns with her occasionally, but he'd been so
involved with the quest for proof of his parentage that it seemed that goal had overshadowed everything else.

“I'll always be here for you. Always.” When he reached over and squeezed her hand, relief spread over her, for that gesture said more than words would have.

“I don't want you to reply to this just now, but I'd like you to give serious thought to a Philips-Tatum law partnership.”