Love Love (2 page)

He was the one who embraced my soul in
the palm of his hands. The one who lent his ear while I rambled
endlessly about my parents and all their bullshit. He was the one
who supported me when I fell on my ass and the one whose broad
shoulders carried all of my tears.

Clark introduced me to surprises.
Bringing me flowers after school just because. Leaving bags of
Hershey’s Kisses in my locker with little notes like “I love you,
sweetness.” Even blindfolding me and taking me on little adventures
to the beach, my favorite place in the world.

God, I loved Clark. He made me giggle
and gave me those crazy butterflies. In high school, we’d make out
under the bleachers, in his car, basically anywhere we could get
our hands on each other. A single wink from him would cause my
heart to explode, and that musky scent of his drove me beyond the
borders of desire. I lost my virginity to Clark when we were
seventeen. We were so in love, and while it was incredibly
romantic, honestly, it hurt like hell. Nothing like you see in the
movies. But Clark was gentle and sweet, and never made me feel the
least bit embarrassed or uncomfortable, even when he saw spots of
blood on the sheet. While Clark had experienced sex before, that
was my first time, and it was glaringly obvious. Nonetheless, I’ll
never forget it. He moved inside of me with such tenderness and
cradled me with his touch. Afterwards, he gently touched his lips
to mine before walking away and coming back with a warm washcloth.
“Let me clean you up Angel.” Could he have been any
sweeter?

“
Gabby.” A voice startled
me from my nostalgic moment. My beloved mother. It’s fascinating
that even over the loud music, I could still hear the shrill of her
voice. “I’d like to speak with you for a minute.”

I cupped my hand to my ear. “What?” I
said, pretending I didn’t hear her.

“
I need to speak with you,
dear,” she said again, her face set with a frown so deep it was
probably where the term frown lines came from.

My mother followed behind me, her
heels clicking on the hardwood floor as I walked toward the sliding
glass doors leading to the patio. I pulled open the handle, only to
be met by a blast of muggy air and the heavy stench of cigarette
smoke. She grabbed my hand to stop me.

“
No, not outside dear.
Let’s go in the hallway.”

We made our way down the hall and she
stopped short, shaking her head as she glanced up and down my body
at the white t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and blue Converse sneakers
I’d decided to wear.

“
Gabby. This is a party.
Don’t you think you could have chosen something a bit more festive,
like a dress perhaps?” She was impeccably dressed, as always, in
her emerald blue Vera Wang silk dress and her black Manolo Blahnik
slingbacks. Her sleek brown hair was pulled up in a perfect bun,
complete with diamond clip, and her makeup was flawless, almost as
if she’d just left the Chanel counter at the mall.

“
Mom,” I began, the alcohol
causing my words to slur a bit. “When was the last time you saw me
in a dress? You know I don’t like to wear them. Remember, you’re
always telling me they make my hips look too curvy and my legs look
too thin?”

She fanned her hand in front of her
face. “My God, Gabby, you smell like a brewery. I don’t think you
should have anything else to drink.”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “Mom.
First of all, this is a graduation party; and secondly, I’m
twenty-two years old, how much I drink is currently up to
me.”

She clenched her fists at her sides
and rolled her eyes at me, a look of pure disgust crossing her
face. “I also didn’t realize Clark’s parents were going to be
here.”

I had to contain myself
from hauling back and shaking around any sense that might have been
left in my mother’s body. “Mom, Clark and I have been together
for
seven
years,
and this is
our
graduation day; of course his parents are going to be
here.”

My parents were not fans of Clark’s
mom and dad. The mail clerk and the bus driver just didn’t meet
their social status requirements.

I tried my best distraction technique.
“Where’s Dad?”

My mother sucked her teeth. “He’s out
back with his latest girlfriend.”

“
I haven’t seen Olivia
either. Where is she?”

“
Olivia had another party
to go to,” she said nonchalantly.

“
Of course. Another one
that was more important than her own sister’s.” I let out a
sarcastic laugh and felt Clark’s warm hand on my
shoulder.

“
Hello, Mrs. Willis,” Clark
greeted her with a broad smile.

“
Hello, Clark,” my mother
replied, years of disapproval sliding off her tongue.

My parents were never Clark’s biggest
fans. The fact that he loved me and was so good to me didn’t
impress them. They wanted me to marry rich and live in the big
mansion on a perfect tree-lined street, complete with manicured
lawn, fountain, and in-ground pool; perfect replica of our house.
Thanks, but no thanks. Granted, they weren’t the best role models
for long-lasting relationships. My parents were high school
sweethearts, but thirty years later they hated each other. That
wasn’t going to be me and Clark. We could get through
anything.

My mom made a tisking sound then
skulked away. Clark took my hand and led me into the small den
where I used to watch television as a child. The only room that was
suitable for us to play in growing up so we didn’t destroy the near
perfection of the rest of the house. He sat me down on the yellow
sofa, stained with years of chocolate milk spills and my favorite
purple marker, ran his fingers through my chestnut strands, then
tucked my hair behind my ear.

“
Talk to me, Angel, what
did your mother do now?”

I looked around the room at years of
childhood memories. Family photographs from our trip to Disney
World, a cuckoo clock that I always got in trouble for playing
with, the piano where I learned how to play Chopsticks. “Nothing’s
ever good enough for her, you know? I don’t remember the last time
either of them had a kind word to say about me. I’m just one giant
disappointment in their eyes.” I continued to stare at a spot on
the yellow couch.

“
Angel, look at me.” Clark
lifted my chin and stroked his fingers gently across my cheek.
“Your mom doesn’t define you.
You
define you, and from where I’m standing, you’re
doing a damn good job.” He moved closer and kissed me softly.
Taking my hand, he lifted up one finger and kissed it. “Let’s see:
you’re smart.” He lifted another one and surrounded it with his
lips. “You’re funny as hell.” Another finger arrived at his mouth
for a kiss. “You’re caring and kind.” He pulled my pinky to his
mouth for a final kiss. “You’re breathtakingly beautiful. So, screw
your mom. I’d say you’ve defined yourself pretty well.” Clark
wrapped his comforting arms around me and suddenly all was right
with the world. “Come on, let’s go back out there and celebrate the
beginning of the rest of our lives.”

The party was rocking. Fran and I
continued to get a serious buzz on while Clark eyed us amusingly.
For some reason, he decided not to drink tonight, but that never
stopped him from having a good time. I was definitely enjoying
myself. My new sense of freedom was washing over me like a giant
wave crashing on the shore. This was really it. I’d finally be out
on my own and out of the grasp of people who I constantly
disappointed. I couldn’t wait to surround myself with people who
would lift me up, not drag me down. I’ve had way too much of that
and it was time to navigate my own future with Clark by my side.
Hell, I might even wear a dress.

We were hanging out on the makeshift
dance floor. Clark’s hands were roaming, our hips were swaying, and
we were all dancing our free little hearts out. The fuzzy feeling
in my head caused me to react as Clark pressed his firm body
against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and plunged my
tongue into his mouth, relishing the familiar taste of him. When I
pulled back, I could see Fran staring at us, probably because we
were practically making out in public. I didn’t care, Clark turned
me on in ways I never imagined, and there wasn’t a moment that went
by that I didn’t crave his touch, his lips, his
everything.

He leaned in close to my ear and his
warm breath blew a breeze my way, causing me to shiver. “Angel,
let’s get out of here. I need to be alone with you.” The look in
his eyes told me he wanted me, not to mention the stiffness I felt
pressing against my thigh. I wanted him, too. “There’s somewhere I
want to take you,” his hot breath whispered and his musky scent
overtook my senses. When he looked at me with those persuasive baby
blues, it was hard to say no.

“
Okay, babe. Let me just
tell Fran we’re leaving, and then I’m all yours.” I pulled him to
me and planted a large, wet kiss on his soft lips; he grabbed me
and deepened it. His tongue explored mine tenderly, sucking gently,
while his arms brought me in to him. When I broke the kiss, I heard
him exhale with a sigh.

I walked up to Fran, who was doing the
bump and grind with our friend Ashley. She was seriously plastered.
“Fran, Clark and I are going out for a bit. We’ll be
back.”

Fran gave me a big smacker right on
the lips. Yup, she was hammered all right. “Okay sweetie. Don’t do
anything I wouldn’t do.” She cackled relentlessly and continued her
drunken dance.

Clark interlaced his fingers through
mine as we walked out to the car.

“
So where are we going,
babe?” I asked, my mind open to all possibilities.

“
It’s a surprise, Angel.
You’ll just have to wait and see.”

We drove for less than a mile before I
realized exactly where we were headed. Clark’s house. His empty
house. That made me smile. There’s only one thing I wanted right
now, and that was Clark…inside of me.

When we pulled in the driveway, Clark
cut the engine. The look that crossed his face wasn’t one I’d seen
before, so I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“
Angel, I need you to stay
here for just a minute, okay?”

“
What’s going
on?”

“
Just wait here a minute
and then I’ll be back to get you.”

“
Okay.”

He gave me a quick kiss and then
slammed the door shut behind him. My mind was working overtime. He
seemed nervous. What on earth was he doing? It felt like forever
before he returned to the car. Coming around to the passenger side,
he opened my door and helped me out. Immediately, I grabbed him and
pressed my breasts against his tight chest, giving him a sneak
preview of what was to come.

“
Come on, hot stuff,” he
said, tangling his fingers with mine and leading me around to the
backyard.

As we rounded the corner, I stopped in
my tracks and my heart started racing. My eyes were taking in
everything all at once. The deck was covered in little white
Christmas tree lights. A table sat in the center with a crisp white
tablecloth and a vase of crimson red roses in the middle; it was
set for two. I heard Train playing softly on the CD player sitting
next to the weathered charcoal grill. My feet were frozen, my
insides tingled, and my brain was running at mach speed. I spun
around and looked at Clark.

“
What is all
this?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Happy
graduation, Angel.”

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I
leaned forward until our foreheads were touching. “I love you so
much,” I said as our noses rubbed together and our lips melted into
one another.

Clark settled me in my chair and
walked back into the house. I suddenly felt very sober, keenly
aware of everything that was happening in that moment. It seemed
impossible that I could love Clark any more than I already did, yet
every day he did something to make my heart fuller. I sat there
with a goofy grin plastered on my face, awaiting his return. He
came out moments later with two white plates holding dark chocolate
lava cake surrounded by two Twizzlers forming a heart, with whipped
cream on the side. My absolute favorite.

“
Thank you, babe,” I said,
my heart so full and my body so damned turned on by his kindness.
“I’m not really hungry though. Well…I am…but only for one
thing.”