Love Lifted Me (24 page)

Oh, Asa. Surely you are Max's son
. Jade sat on the edge of the bed. It was so easy to put Taylor and Rice out of her head. Most days she completely forgot Asa was not born of her.

Aiden had e-mailed the other day.
Did you tell him? Tell him
.

But she couldn't devastate Max when she didn't know if there was an ounce of truth to Taylor's story. Obviously Taylor didn't find the paternity test among Rice's papers. Asa was two now. If Landon had wanted to challenge the birth certificate, he should've done it before the two-year window closed. He should've followed up on the paternity test he took when Asa was born.

Besides, Max had enough stress. After a promising season start against Canyon, the Warriors had their fifth loss in a row Friday night. Max didn't get home until after midnight. When he crawled into bed, she asked where he'd been.

“Talking to boosters and the A.D.” His next sound was a deep snore.

The next morning, Jade watched him carefully and checked his eyes. He didn't appear to be falling into his old pain med ways. But the wear and tear of the season showed.

As Jade left Asa's room, cold air swirled in the living room and bit at her ankles. Cinching her robe tighter, she went to the front door. It stood slightly ajar.

“Max?” She stepped into the shadows. He sat on the steps, arms on his knees, staring into the dark. Jade shivered as she sat next to him. “Aren't you cold?” He wore his jeans and T-shirt from yesterday. No jacket. Clearly, he'd not even gone to bed.

“No,” he said. “It feels good.”

Jade snuggled against his broad back. “The boys are sleeping like logs.”

“I bet. We work them hard through the week.”

“You work hard too. Asa and I barely see you.” She shivered when the wind hissed along the grass and over the porch boards.

“I have to make this team come together.” The burden of winning football games weighed down his words.

“By yourself? What about the rest of the coaches? Isn't football about a team?”

“Until a losing season. Until the boosters and the school go bonkers and demand the head coach's head on a platter.”

“Are they demanding your head on a platter?” Jade bent to see his face in the half moonlight. He was a different Max than the one who sat with her on this porch two months ago. “Brenda and Bit think you're aces.” Jade imitated Brenda's high, cowgirl pitch. “We just love that coach.”

“Yeah, well, they don't carry much weight against an oh-and-five team.” Max shot off the steps, straining his words through a taut jaw. “I
need
to win. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.”

“What makes you think you're doing anything wrong?”

He whirled around. “Five losses. Last week we didn't score until the fourth quarter. We couldn't convert the extra point. We miss field goal opportunities because we have no kicker.”

“Shh, Max, Tucker will hear you.”

“Good, he needs to man up and play the game. He does have the skill underneath all his clumsiness and insecurity.”

“Then you help him believe in himself.”

“I'm a coach, not a psychologist. That's Haley's territory. Bobby's in my office every Monday morning and every Friday afternoon, flipping through the playbook, wondering about running the spread more or suggesting trick plays. Trick plays? We can't execute simple, plain ol' ordinary, everyday plays.”

“You're a new coach, Max. Bobby is just—”

“Up to something. That's what he is. Up to something. Meanwhile, Chevy just lets me be. Checks in once a week like a big brother. Why in the world did they hire me?”

“Stop asking that question. It's too late. They hired you and here you are. Here we are. In our house are four boys very much impacted by you. What if God sent you here to win hearts, not games?”

“Unfortunately, I don't get paid or earn respect because the boys like me. I'm expected to win games, Jade. The boys are here because it's Sunday night and they're bored.” Max dismissed her with a wave. “Or looking to get out of homework.”

“Is that what you think? Max, babe, they connect with you. Tucker worships you. He watches your every move. You just might be the first and only decent man in his life.” Jade gripped Max by the shoulders, digging in her fingers. “You're winning with
them
. Doesn't that count?” She couldn't see his expression in the dark, but his cold silence and stiff stance reminded her of lawyer Max. Of the old Max. “Are you having back pain?”

His chest collapsed with an exhale and broke away from her. “No. Do I look like I'm having back pain?”

“No, but you're stressed. It's a trigger. The Max Benson I know—”

“You've never known this Max.”

“Yeah? Well, I'd like to know him better but he's not around much.”

He started for the steps. “It's late.”

“You don't have to walk through this alone, Max.” She paused at the door.

“I'm here. Hines and Haley are here. Axel's only twenty minutes away.”

He hooked his arm around her waist and led her into the yard. “Last Thursday, I'd left the field house to come home around nine or so. I got all the way out to the truck when I realized I'd left the game DVD in the player. I wanted to review it one more time. Amarillo's a good team and they have a lot of plays to track. Just as I get to the door, I see two people in the hallway. It's Hines and Bobby.”

“Hines and Bobby?”

“They shook hands and walked to the film room. I turned around for the truck. Didn't even go back in.”

“I don't understand. Bobby is the A.D. Hines is a coach. They've known each other a long time. What's the big deal?”

Max sighed. “I think Bobby is the reason this program has faltered. He says things about when his dad and granddad coached Warrior football. How legacies need to be kept. So, I did some digging and Bobby's dad, Coach Molnar, was fired and replaced with the great Coach Burke, Haley's dad. After he retired, there was some debate about hiring Bobby Molnar as head coach but something or someone kept it from happening. He stayed on as A.D., though, hiring coaches and getting them fired.”

Jade snorted a snicker, popping her hand over her mouth. “What? This is crazy.”

“Yeah, well, five coaches in six years is crazy. Come on.”

“They were sane enough to hook and reel you in, Coach.”

“Chevy did, yeah. But there's something . . .” Max bounced his fist in the air, thinking. “There's something going on. This program doesn't smell like manure just from losing seasons.”

“But the program has the best of everything, Max.”

“Of course, the A.D. signs off on the budget. Bobby has the wealthiest booster in his pocket. He's keeping the facility up for when he takes over.”

“So you think Hines is conspiring with Bobby against you? Why? Hines loves you.”

“Then why the clandestine meeting? Hines supposedly left hours earlier. He's a former Warrior champ just like Bobby. Maybe championship loyalty runs thicker than new coach loyalty? Maybe Hines bellied up to my term as coach, cheering me on as I fired the old assistants so he could help usher in Bobby's reign.”

“Okay, now you've crossed over to conspiracy theory. I'm going back inside. I'm freezing.” Jade paused in front of her husband. “You're not a lawyer working an angle for your client anymore, Max. You're a coach. For a season. Do your job. Who cares what Hines and Bobby do in the dark of night?”

“I want to win, Jade. I have to win. I can't win if my coaches are against me.”

“You have to win? Max, no, you don't. You just have to do your best and love these boys. Isn't that why Chevy wanted you over any other coach? You care. What's this really about?”

“Because, Jade, I fail. Golden boy Benson is a myth. Sure, I can be dashing and charming, I can make an argument with the best of them. I can give the Democrats spin lessons. But at the end of the day, I'm a failure.”

“Evidence, please.”

“I failed my parents with getting addicted. Failed the firm, thus my father.

I failed Rice and Asa. Worse, I failed you.”
Oh, not so much, Max
. “And I've failed the Lord.”

“I'm not a biblical scholar, but I'm pretty sure God says He works things together for the good of those who love Him. The only way you fail is if you stop trusting Him. If you stop trying. Is that what you're doing?”

“No, but I sure as heck would like to know what Hines was doing talking to Bobby.”

“Then ask him.” Jade folded her arms across her shivering torso. In their four-year relationship, Max had been the strong one. Jade spoke her mind, but she rarely confronted him. Even when she suspected he was using. Then he confessed about Asa. Tonight, she had a new revelation. Her husband
needed
her.

“And tip him off? No way.”

“So you'd rather live with this fantasy in your head? What if that handshake was nothing more than swapping usher duties on a Sunday morning?”

“That's a phone call, Jade. An oh-by-the-way after practice. That's not a dark meeting after hours. They are up to something. It's all starting to make sense now.”

“Ooh, a conspiracy,” Jade whispered in a low sleuth tone. “They're setting you up to fail.”

Max snatched her up by her arms, raising her off the ground. “Is that what you think?”

Jade burst out laughing. “You can't be serious. No.” Max let her go. “They are not conspiring. Babe, you're turning into me. A frightened worrier.” She grabbed his hands and tugged him toward the house. “Come on, I'll make you forget your conspiracy theory.”

“Yeah?” There. His saucy grin. “What do you have in mind?”

“I don't know, but it's under this robe.”

Max charged her, lifting her into his arms so she laughed, a crisp melody in the cold night.

“Brenda, hey, it's Max Benson. Yeah, right.
Coach
.” Max rolled his eyes as he took the chair behind his desk. He'd slept in, snuggled next to Jade, deciding to let his Monday morning warm up a bit before he faced it. “Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”

“Coach, anything for you.”

“It's kind of a DL matter. Can you be discreet?”

“You have come to the right place. Discreet is my middle name. Lay it on me, shug.”

Max grinned, peering at his office door, hearing the stirrings of Hines just down the hall. “I knew I could count on you.”

There was a sliver of the afternoon left and Colby Grounds was quiet, with only a couple of walk-in customers. Steam hissed as the barista cleaned the cappuccino machine. At a table by the door, Jade drummed her fingers and watched for Brenda.

She'd called Ellen Feinberg to see if Asa could play with her son for a couple of hours. Ever gracious, Ellen said, “Why certainly.” Jade sweetened the deal by offering to watch Ellen's three next time she wanted a spa day or date night.

Once that was set up, Jade called Brenda for a meeting. Sipping a hot cocoa, Jade watched the street. Colby's downtown reflected the old west with its wide streets. Fall already tipped the trees with a deep gold and brilliant red. Even the season favored the Warriors' colors.

More and more the days dawned cold. Today Jade had fixed all the boys a hot breakfast before sending them off to school. Asa ran to the window, charging the ottoman, and watched them leave.

Max had moved slow, called his dad to say hello. Barely talked football. All the more reason Jade needed to talk to Brenda Karlin.

Two o'clock. Brenda assured her she was never late. Jade turned to check on Asa before remembering he was with Ellen. She felt free yet out of balance without him. What did she do before he came into her world?

“Girl, I'm not late. I'm right on time.” Brenda popped onto the high stool next to Jade with a huff. She wore her usual dark suit but today with a bright yellow silk blouse. She motioned to the barista. “Debbie, darling, I'll have a tall nonfat latte and a panini. Jade, what are you having?”

“Hot cocoa.” She hugged her mug with both hands. Her stomach retched a bit. “I'm not hungry today.” The pace of their life wore on her. She wondered today if she was getting the flu.

“Well,” Brenda said and exhaled, “isn't this my day? First Max, then you.”

“Max called you?” Jade leaned over her cocoa. He must have been thinking the same thing.
Great minds .
. .

“It was nothing.” Brenda fussed with her wallet, a flush on her cheeks. “He was just asking for some . . . snacks . . . for the boys after practice. Maybe do a pancake breakfast this fall. We've not done one of those in so long.”

“He didn't ask you about Bobby Molnar?” Jade got right to business.

“Bobby Molnar? No, shug. Why would he ask me about old Bobby?” She muffled her laugh. “You know, in high school the kids used to call him BM.”