Love Inspired March 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: A Wife for Jacob\The Forest Ranger's Rescue\Alaskan Homecoming (52 page)

It had been a nonanswer. A placeholder. Words as a stand-in, when what she really needed was Posy. She needed her ballet teacher sitting in that auditorium watching her dance. Or at the very least, an assurance that she'd one day see her again. And it had killed Liam that he couldn't give it to her.

He needed to get someplace where he could breathe again, where he didn't feel this crushing sense of loss in his chest. But where?

He sat in his Jeep in the parking lot, not even bothering to turn on the engine. His breath fogged the windows and his hands grew stiff from the cold, but he welcomed the numbness. He wished it to penetrate his bones, his heart, his soul. But it didn't. At the center of himself, at the very core of his being, he felt it all. Everything—loss, pain, regret.

Love.

Love, even now. Even after she'd gone. Even after she'd left him, left Aurora, left it all behind. Again.

He should have told her how he felt. Would it have made a difference? Would she have stayed? He would never know. And that, more than anything, more than even her absence, was what hurt the most. He'd let himself down. He'd let God down. He hadn't had the faith to put it all on the line and tell her how he felt about her.

He reached in his pocket for the car keys and cranked the engine to life. He didn't have much time. Only about twenty minutes, but that would be long enough.

He pulled out of the parking lot, all the while telling himself he'd just left the entire youth group behind to go on what amounted to nothing more than a fool's errand. But he couldn't seem to stop his foot from pressing down on the accelerator or his hands from turning the steering wheel.

She's gone. What are you doing?

He was following his gut. That was what he was doing. His pathetic, delusional gut.

It was just a feeling, nothing more than the faintest of instincts. Some vague, insistent voice that he found difficult to ignore. Realistically, he knew it was probably simply his own wishful thinking. But it was the same nebulous whisper that he'd heard as a kid when he'd decided to make Aurora his home. The same one that had prompted him to buy the skating pond. The same one that had caused him to look in Posy's purse the night of her accident.

Yeah, and look how that particular decision turned out.

He wasn't remorseful. Not deep down, where it mattered. He never had been. Sad, yes. Back then, he'd been shattered when she'd refused to come to the door when he tried to see her and when she'd stopped taking his calls. But he'd never been sorry he'd told her parents about the pills. It was the right thing to do. He'd saved her.

The problem was that she hadn't wanted to be saved.

But none of that mattered anymore. He pushed the past away, ready to leave it behind once and for all. Since Posy had been back, he'd been living there. Walking through the pages of history. Her return had brought everything rushing back, everything he'd thought he'd forgotten. Not just their shared past, but everything that had been going on at the time—graduating from high school, facing the idea of being a nineteen-year-old kid all on his own while his family moved on to the next town, wishing that for once he had a place with four walls and rooms that he recognized that he could call home.

It had been a season of heartbreaking change, but now was the season for a heart-changing break. A break from the events that had occurred so long ago. It was time to leave them in the past, where they belonged. Past time. If he'd been living fully in the present, he would have made things work with Sara. He would keep in touch more with his parents. He would have been able to say the one word to Posy that he'd been unable to utter.

Stay.

He hit every red light between the community center and his destination. At the last one, he nearly gave up on his nonsensical mission and turned around. Right as he was about to jerk the gearshift into Reverse, the light changed. He breezed on through it and turned into the church parking lot.

He didn't expect to see a vehicle in the lot. Particularly not Zoey's car. Didn't she have a flight to Anchorage this afternoon? And wasn't Posy on that flight?

He frowned at the car and tried to shake the feeling that something was wrong. Very wrong. Surely there was a simple explanation. Her flight had probably taken off early or something. Maybe she'd made sure to get back in time to catch the recital. Maybe she'd even pushed her schedule back so Posy could be here to see the girls.

His teeth ground together. Nope. If that were the case, she'd miss her audition altogether. He climbed out of his Jeep, slammed the door and headed inside, unable to shake the nagging feeling that things weren't quite right.

It wasn't until his hand was on the doorknob that he heard the first scream.

No, not a scream exactly. More like a groan. A deep guttural groan that didn't sound quite human. In the eerie silence that followed, the hairs on the back of Liam's neck stood on end. His skin broke out in goose bumps. When the second growl pierced the air, a riot of sensations swelled inside Liam. Not panic, which would have been perfectly logical, but determination. Determination, with a generous dose of anger.

He didn't think, didn't plot or plan. He just ran toward the sounds, which grew louder and more frequent as he dashed in their direction. He skidded around the corner of the hallway and realized they were coming from his office at the end of the corridor, where his door stood open and the light glowed gold.

He could see trash cans knocked over, a dark brown blur, a graceful arm wrapped around the doorjamb and, at the end of that arm, a white-knuckled hand gripping the wood in terror.

Posy.

If he'd paused to take in the scene before him once he reached his office, he would have been paralyzed by fright. But the sight of Posy backed against a wall, mere inches from a large black bear swatting its massive paws at her face and abdomen, barely registered before he started screaming and banging on the door.

“Hey! Get out of here!” he yelled, beating on the door so hard that he heard what sounded like a bone breaking in his hand.

The bear's paw froze midair. He swung his head around to face Liam and snorted. Once, twice, three times. His breath was hot and rancid. Bile rose to the back of Liam's throat.

“I said get out of here!” he yelled again, this time waving his arms above his head in an effort to make himself look as big and intimidating as possible.

“Liam,” Posy whimpered. She trembled so hard she could barely speak, and a river of tears ran down her face. “Thank goodness. Is it really you?”

“It's me. Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay.” He wasn't sure where the calm assurance in his voice came from.

Please, God, let everything be okay.

The bear still stood between them on all fours. He was so close that Liam could see the tiny red veins in the whites of his eyes, the yellowing of his teeth and the way his nostrils widened with each grunting breath. He panted heavily, sending ripples through his thick, dark fur.

A black bear. Liam sent up a silent prayer of thanks that it wasn't a grizzly. Although he didn't like the idea of any bear being this close to Posy. Period.

He waved his hands over his head again. “Come on. Out you go.”

He stamped his feet, beat on the wall until his fists screamed in agony, and finally,
finally
, with a toss of his wooly head, the bear bounded out of the room.

Liam grabbed Posy by the shoulders. “Stay here. Do not move. Understand?”

She nodded.

“Promise me,” he said, in as firm of a tone as he could bring himself to use when her bottom lip was trembling and tears were spilling down her porcelain cheeks.

She was seriously shaken up. But she was still Posy, which meant she was also seriously stubborn. Liam wouldn't be able to turn his back on her if he thought she wasn't safely shut inside the office.

“I promise,” she said, her voice no more than a soft, shuddering whisper.

He'd never seen her this afraid. Not even after the accident all those years ago.

He wiped the tears from her cheeks with a gentle swipe of his thumb. “I'll be right back. I've got to make sure our furry friend is out of the church and long gone. Okay?”

“Okay.” She gave him a shaky smile. “Please be careful. Please.”

“I will. I promise.”

“And Liam.” She leveled her gaze at him. There were endless storms brewing in her gray eyes. He wondered if he'd ever be able to find the calm in the center of all that chaos. “Thank you.”

He said nothing in return. There were too many unspoken words floating between them. Instead, he cupped her cheek and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

He wanted nothing more than to bury his hands in her hair, to hold on to her with all his might. He wanted to examine every inch of her to make sure the bear hadn't hurt her. He wanted to make corny jokes until she laughed again.

With more than a little reluctance, he released his hold on her. He grabbed a ruler from his desk, along with one of the overturned trash cans, and turned to go.

Then right as he shut the door to seal Posy inside, he could have sworn he heard her voice, a delicate whisper: “I love you.”

Chapter Eighteen

W
hen the door closed behind Liam, the last shred of Posy's composure fell away and her knees buckled. She slid down the wall, wrapped her arms around her legs and stayed wound in a tight ball as she listened to Liam chase the bear out of the building.

Please, God. Don't let him get hurt. I can't lose him. Not like this.

She should have insisted he stay in the office with her. They could have locked themselves in and called the police. Or wildlife control. Or whomever people called when they were being held hostage by bears.

It was all so surreal. Even when those huge paws had been inches away from her face, she couldn't quite believe she'd been trapped in Liam's office with a bear. And her purse, cell phone...everything...were in the other room, still on the table where she'd tossed them when she entered the building. She'd been even less prepared than the time she'd mistaken Sundog for a grizzly. At least then she'd had hair spray.

Although now that she'd actually been in close contact with a bear, she doubted Aqua Net would have accomplished a thing. Other than making the bear remarkably well coiffed. And angry. Very, very angry.

Out in the hallway, Liam banged away on the trash can with his ruler and yelled at the bear. He didn't sound at all afraid, which she found both impressive and immensely reassuring. With each passing second, her heartbeat slowed. The shaking in her hands subsided, as the commotion grew more and more faint. She concentrated on inhaling and exhaling, on controlling her adrenaline, like she tried to do before a performance. Finally, after what felt like an eternity but what was in all probability no more than a minute or two, she heard the door of the church slam shut.

She scrambled to her feet and turned the knob just as Liam pushed the office door open.

“Going somewhere?” he asked, raising a brow. “I thought I told you to stay put.”

She was so glad to see him in one piece that she threw her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He smelled so good, so familiar. Like evergreens and snowdrifts. Like everything Alaskan.

Like home.

She held him even tighter and blinked back a fresh wave of tears.

“Hey.” He pulled back and tipped her chin upward with a touch of his finger so she had no choice but to look directly into his eyes. “The bear is gone. It's over. We're okay.”

We're okay.

If only that were true.

She slipped out of his grasp and crossed her arms so she wouldn't be tempted to throw them around his neck again. He'd saved her from being mauled, but that didn't mean he'd been happy to see her. He probably hated her. She'd turned her back on him, on the youth group, on the whole town.

She cleared her throat. “Is Smokey really gone?”

“Smokey?” The corner of his mouth quirked up into a half grin. “You named the bear?”

“Well, you know, I figured if he was going to make a meal out of me, we should be on a first-name basis.”

“The bear—
Smokey
,
as you so affectionately call him—is gone. He's probably diving in a Dumpster somewhere on Main Street. I called the police and they're out looking for him now.”

“That's good.” She took another deep breath. She still couldn't seem to get enough air. “That's very good.”

He narrowed his gaze at her, studying her, as though he were trying to peer inside her head. “I thought you'd left.”

“I did. I mean I almost did. But I couldn't miss the recital. Not after the girls worked so hard. I just couldn't.”
And you. I couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you again.

She needed to tell him. She needed to put it all on the line. “Liam, I...”

He cut her off before she could utter another syllable. “The recital! I almost forgot! What time is it?”

The time. She'd completely lost track of the time.

She'd assumed that since Liam was at the church, the show hadn't begun. Surely the girls weren't onstage right now, while she and Liam were both here. “I don't know. I don't have my phone.”

“We need to go. Right now,” he said, sounding only slightly less panicked than she'd been when confronted by the bear.

“My shoes. My costume.” She waved a hand toward the fellowship hall.

“Right. Okay, you go grab your things. I've got something I need to get loaded up anyway. I'll meet you outside?”

“Sure.” She hurried toward the fellowship hall, and there were her pointe shoes, right where she'd left them. And there was her costume, hanging from the coatrack in its pristine black garment bag with the West Coast Arts Ballet Company logo stamped in gold letters.

When Posy had made that second call to Martha, the costume mistress with the company, she'd simply asked if there was anything available to borrow. Anything at all in her size, or close to her size. She'd safety pin something in place if necessary. She'd known how excited the girls would be to see a real, professional ballet costume. There were racks upon racks of old tutus backstage. Heavily beaded bodices, diaphanous tulle skirts, rhinestone tiaras that glittered like diamonds as ballerinas floated between light and shadow onstage.

Martha had always been fond of Posy. In truth, she was probably the only person in California whom Posy could call a friend. There was no undercurrent of competition to get in the way between them. And unlike the other dancers, Posy didn't look right through her.

Martha had assured Posy she'd do what she could. She knew Posy's measurements like the back of her hand. The garment bag had arrived the very same afternoon as the message from Gabriel. Posy hadn't even bothered to open it. And here it hung, right where she'd left it.

The difference was that now it was probably the last such costume she'd ever wear.

Stop. You can still go back as a soloist.

Of course she could. Probably. Maybe. So long as Gabriel wasn't furious when she failed to turn up for the audition as promised.

But was that what she wanted?

This isn't the time to figure out your career. You've got a show to put on. It's time to dance.

Time to dance.

Here. In Alaska. With Liam sitting in the audience.

When she'd left so long ago, she'd never imagined something like this would happen. It felt like the second chance she'd never had the courage to hope for.

She grabbed the garment bag. Curiosity got the best of her, and she peeked inside.

Just a tiny, quick glance.

A fleeting glimpse was all it took. She recognized the white confection with the glass beads and silver lace bodice at once. This was no spare costume that had been hanging backstage for a decade. Martha had sent her the Winter Fairy costume from
Cinderella
, the tutu she'd been wearing when she'd gotten injured.

Posy could hardly believe she'd been entrusted with such a treasure. It was the prettiest costume she'd ever worn. But even better, it meant she could finish what she'd started. Wearing it today would be poetic. Another chance at her final dance.

She held the garment bag to her heart as she rushed back to Liam's office. He wasn't there. Then she remembered he'd told her that he would meet her outside so they could ride to the recital together. He'd mentioned needing to load something up in his car. She'd been so rattled in the wake of her run-in with Smokey that she hadn't even asked him what that something might be.

Now that she thought about it, she didn't know why he was at the church at all. Why wasn't he at the community center with everyone else? It wasn't like Liam to leave the youth group, much less in the final minutes before the big recital. Exactly what was he doing here?

Other than saving her life and all.

* * *

Liam sat in the audience at the community center and did his best to pay attention to what was happening onstage. He didn't want to miss a moment of it. The girls had been so happy to see Posy that the smiles on their faces were 100 percent genuine. Gone were the butterflies and the panicked bouts of stage fright. The teenagers were filled with the joy of an unexpected blessing, and it showed in every pointed toe and graceful arm.

Melody and Ronnie's pas de deux brought the house down. Posy had been right all along. No one expected to see a boy onstage. When he walked out, extended his arm with a flourish and bowed deeply to Melody, an audible gasp had passed through the audience. Their dance was simple, sweet. Melody stood on tiptoe and extended her graceful skater's limbs in a variety of poses while Ronnie held her by the hand. Their grand finale came when he wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her in a series of rapid turns that ended in perfect time to the music. Beside Liam, two women he recognized from the knitting group that met at the church on Monday nights clapped and loudly exclaimed that they'd forgotten they'd been watching kids from the youth group. They felt as though they'd been to a real performance, which was of course what Posy had wanted all along.

As remarkable as it was, Liam sat through the majority of the evening in a daze. He felt as though he were moving in slow motion, and all the activity around him was taking place at warp speed. He wanted to slow it down so he could take it all in.

The truth of the matter was that he was only halfway paying attention to the outside world. On the exterior, he was smiling when he should and clapping at all the appropriate moments. On the inside, however, a fit of emotion held sway.

Posy had said she loved him.

She hadn't said it directly, and it had been uttered in the softest of whispers, but he'd heard it.

I love you.

They were the words Liam had waited to hear since the night he'd broken her heart. Words that he'd thought had been forever washed away by the tragic rain.

As much as he wanted to claim those words, he couldn't. She'd been upset. She'd nearly been mauled. She was grateful. Nothing more.

But part of him held out hope it was more than that.

She'd come back. She'd left, just as he'd known she would all along. Just as she had before. But this time had been different. This time she'd come back.

And now he sat with those three magic words still echoing in his head as he watched her take center stage in a cloud of white tulle and shoes of the palest pink satin. She was breathtaking, from the dazzling diamond tiara that sat atop her flame of red hair to the tips of her elegant fingers. He'd seen her dance before, of course. Years ago. But it was clear that in her years away, her artistry had matured into a thing of heartbreaking beauty. She could tell an entire story with just the turn of her wrist. And Liam wanted to memorize every word.

He forgot how to breathe when she rose up en pointe and extended one supple leg in a spellbinding attitude devant. And when she exploded in a series of rapid pas de chats, he could have sworn he felt every strike of her foot dead in the center of his chest. As if she'd somehow leaped into the very center of his being.

Don't let her go.

When she'd finished, when the audience members had risen to their feet all around him, Liam had been the only one to remain sitting. He didn't trust his legs to stand.

Josephine Sutton had swept him clear off his feet.

* * *

Posy was mobbed with well-wishers at the end of the recital. Lou McNeil, her parents, teenagers from the skating rink, patrons of the Northern Lights Inn coffee bar, Zoey and Anya, along with their husbands. And of course, the kids from the youth group.

The girls were on the verge of tears and didn't seem to understand whether they were crying from joy or sorrow. The entire experience had overwhelmed them, grabbed them each by the throat. They were too young and naive to realize what was happening, but Posy knew.

Years from now, whether they found themselves sitting in the red velvet interior of a theater or, by some balletic twist of fate, they were the ones dancing onstage, each of them would look back on this day, this moment. And they would recognize it as the day they'd fallen in love with ballet.

She almost envied them. Almost. Just as she'd almost envied Melody when Ronnie had asked her to be his date for the school prom in the moment the closing curtain fell.

So many people. Anywhere and everywhere. Posy had never been mobbed like this after a performance. But as nice as it felt to hear praise for the work she'd done with the girls, there was only one person whom she truly wanted to see. One person whose opinion mattered.

“Zoey, have you seen Liam?” Posy asked when she spotted her friend making her way through the crowd with a tray of paper cups.

“Oh, hi! Would you like a White Swan Mocha?” She offered Posy a cup.

The Northern Lights Inn coffee bar had generously donated refreshments for the evening. Posy, Zoey and Anya had taste-tested a variety of offerings they'd concocted for the event, ranging from the White Swan Mocha to the Black Swan Chocolate Latte. Posy would never look at coffee the same way she had prior to her return to Aurora.

“No, thanks.” Posy shook her head. “I need to talk to Liam. Do you know where he is?”

“I think I saw him head outside a few minutes ago.” She pointed toward the side door.

Outside? What was he doing out in the snow? “I'm going to go look for him. If anyone needs me, just tell them I'll be right back, okay?”

“Wait. Won't your shoes get ruined?” She glanced at Posy's feet, still clad in pink satin and ribbons. “Let me find a place to put this tray, and I'll help you get changed.”

“That's okay. I really need to talk to him. It's important.”

“Okay.” Zoey winked. “Go get him.”

Go get him.

She made it sound so easy, when in reality Posy still didn't know if he'd forgiven her for leaving. Again.

Please, God.

She pushed through the door and out into the cold. Evening had arrived early, as it always did this time of year in Aurora. The sky stretched overhead in an expanse of black velvet, and it had just barely begun to snow. A snowfall so soft and gentle it almost didn't look real, but rather like the fake snow that fell from the rafters during
Nutcracker
season.