Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: Her Unexpected Cowboy\His Ideal Match\The Rancher's Secret Son (29 page)

“Guess we know what that means,” Asher announced, rising from the sofa in the sunken living area. Before he could say or do anything else, Ellie swept in to throw the baby onto her shoulder.

“I'll take care of it.”

She went out again, and only as she and the infant disappeared did Phillip realize that they had taken a rather loamy smell with them.

“That child cannot abide a dirty diaper,” Asher said with unusual pride. Phillip could only shake his head.

“Ought to be a snap to toilet train, then,” Dale observed idly.

Phillip coughed into his hand and changed the subject. “We have a situation at Chatam House I need to discuss with you, Ash.”

He gave his brother a quick rundown on Carissa's situation with her mother. As always, Asher listened attentively. Finally, he spoke.

“Well, there's nothing to be done unless this Alexandra acts. If she forcibly takes one or more of the children, or if she files suit, even if she should file a complaint with Child Protective Services, then Carissa can intervene legally. Otherwise...” He spread his hands.

Phillip nodded. “I understand. But if the need arises, you'll help Carissa protect her children, won't you? She's a wonderful mother, and she's done the very best she could under very tough circumstances. I want her to know she'll have help.”

“She's Chester's niece and the aunties have taken her in,” Asher replied. “That's enough for me.”

“Great,” Phillip said, relieved—not that he'd really doubted Asher would help—but then Ash grinned.

“With you championing her cause, though, I'm wondering if legal representation is enough. Maybe we should be preparing to welcome her to the family.”

Phillip's mouth fell open. “Why does everyone automatically assume—”

The words died as Ellie unceremoniously dropped his niece into his hands, declaring, “Sounds like you should be getting used to this. I have to get back to the kitchen and take care of dinner.”

Phillip made a strangling sound and bobbled the child but managed not to drop her. She seemed not to mind, if her toothless grin was any indication. To his surprise, she stared straight into his eyes and lifted a brow as if to ask what he thought of her. Having never held a baby before, he was too busy trying not to break her to form many impressions at first, but soon he began to realize how soft and tiny she was. Soft, tiny and very real. This was a person, a whole, complete person in a tiny, gurgling, strangely adorable package.

He thought of Grace, and then he remembered a box of baby photos that he'd stumbled across—well, accidentally dumped—while helping Carissa clean out the apartment. Images flashed before his mind's eye: Carissa with very long hair, holding one of the boys on her lap and mugging for the camera, baby smiles and baby feet, fat tummies and chubby hands, a single tooth in a wide smile, drooping diapers and first steps.

He concentrated on the niece he'd avoided all these weeks, this little bit of helpless humanity in his lap. Soon she would be as engaging and charming as Grace. Or not. He couldn't really imagine any little girl being as engaging and charming as Grace, but Marie Ella would almost certainly be bright and athletic and treasured, and he would love her. He did love her, soft, sweet, little thing that she was. He swallowed a lump in his throat, thinking of her growing up. She would change so much over the weeks, months and years ahead.

So would Grace and Tucker and Nathan.

He realized suddenly and with surprising gratitude that, in some way, Marie Ella would always be a part of his life, but he wondered if he would be around to see the changes that time would bring to the Hopper kids. The insight that he wanted to be there to see them grow stunned him. He could only imagine how much Carissa wanted to see her own children grow up, what it would do to her if Alexandra for some reason gained custody of one or two of them.

No, that could not happen.

Lord,
he prayed silently, staring down at his wriggly little niece,
please, don't let
Carissa be separated from her children. Make the path easier somehow for all of them. She's had enough pain, enough loss, enough difficulty.

For some reason, he thought of the phone app. They'd just been playing around with it, but could that really turn into something profitable? He went over it in his mind, realizing that he needed to make some phone calls, ask some questions.

A poke in the shoulder made him jump.

“Well?” Petra asked as she took the baby from him.

He blinked at her, wondering when she'd come into the room. “Well what?”

“Weren't you listening?” She hoisted the baby onto her shoulder and began to pat her little back. “Have the aunties said anything about the Fourth of July?”

The aunties often hosted an Independence Day celebration at Chatam House, but with all that had been happening lately, Phillip wondered if it was a good idea this year. Perhaps they were wondering the same thing.

“Uh, with Carissa's dad, uh, that is, Chester's brother, having passed away recently, they may want to curtail activities this year. I'll, um, have to ask them.” Someone ought to ask Carissa how she felt about it. She ought to have a say. Chatam House was her home, too, at least for now.

* * *

“So what did you and Phillip talk about before you went to the park today?” Carissa asked as she tucked Nathan into bed beside his brother that evening.

Nathan smoothed the covers and looked away, shrugging. “Oh, he said he wasn't good husband or father material, stuff like that.”

Carissa's heart
thunked
heavily inside her chest, but she kept her gaze bland. It was no more than she'd expected, no more than Phillip had essentially said to her.

“What else?” she probed lightly.

Nathan looked down at his hands. “He said you missed Dad more'n I do and I miss him more'n Tucker and Grace.”

“Uh-uh!” Tucker protested, sitting up sleepily.

“Do too!” Nathan insisted. “You don't hardly even remember him.”

“I still miss him,” Tucker insisted glumly, plopping back on his pillow. “And I think Phillip is good husband and father 'terial.”

Carissa straightened the covers. “It doesn't matter,” she said briskly. “Now, go to—”

A tap at the door to the suite had her looking into the hallway. Nathan rolled up onto one elbow.

“I bet that's him.”

“Go to sleep,” she instructed, her heart rate accelerating as she moved swiftly around the bed and headed out the door, pulling it closed behind her.

She rushed across the sitting room and flung open the outer door, only to be greeted by a mattress. It shifted, so that the narrow end poked through the doorway. She recognized the bunky boards that were part of the boys' bunk beds as Phillip and another man carried them into the suite. She noticed that Phillip clanked as he moved, his pockets full of tools.

“I hope it's not too late,” Phillip said, “but when Dale offered to help me move the bunk beds tonight, well, I... Oh, uh, Carissa Hopper, this is my brother-in-law, Dale Bowen. Dale loaned us his truck the other day.”

Bowen set down his burden, though Carissa knew from experience that the padded bunky boards, which were composed of a stiff foam board and a foam mattress, were fairly lightweight. He smiled and shook hands with her.

“Thank you, Mr. Bowen.”

“Dale,” he said, picking up the bunky board again. “Where do you want this?”

“Uh.” Carissa pointed toward the bedroom, and Phillip led the way. “They aren't asleep yet, but I'm not sure about—”

Nathan appeared in the hallway. “Oh, boy!” he said. Then, “Tucker, get up!” He motioned for Phillip and Dale Bowen to come ahead with the boards.

Phillip complied, instructing, “Get these tools out of my pockets so we can tear down the big bed.”

Nathan worked quickly, running to his room with the tools in his arms. Phillip paused to look at Carissa. “It's okay, isn't it? He really wants his own bed.”

“It's okay,” she said in a thick voice.

While Phillip dismantled the queen bed, Dale Bowen carried in the pieces of the bunk beds from the landing. Then both men carried the queen bed out, returning to put together the bunks. Dale left at that point, and Phillip went to scrounge up linens, apologizing for not thinking to bring any from the storage unit. Carissa used the sheets from the queen bed to make up the top bunk for Tucker, who was so sleepy that she had to help him climb the ladder into the top bunk. Phillip returned with fresh sheets just as Tucker crawled through the opening in the side of the upper.

“Come on, slide your legs beneath the covers,” Carissa coached.

At five feet and five inches in height, she had difficulty at the best of times pulling up the covers, but with so much sheet tucked in, she was finding it nearly impossible. Standing nearly a foot taller than her, Phillip would naturally have an easier time of it.

“Here, let me,” he said, passing her the sheets for Nathan's bed. While she shook out Nathan's sheets and began sorting top from bottom, Phillip got Tucker settled. “There you go, buddy. Sleep tight.”

Tucker yawned and mumbled, “Good night.” Then, with the bedding folded beneath his arms just so and the pillow adjusted beneath his head to his liking, he proclaimed, “See! He is too good father 'terial.”

Carissa paused in the act of smoothing the sheet over the mattress of the lower bunk, thankful that the shadow of the upper hid her flaming face from view, while Nathan silently smacked his forehead against the bunk bed's outer foot post. Phillip cleared his throat and backed up a step, his hands sliding into his pockets.

“Well, I'll let y'all...” The words drifted off as he moved toward the door.

Finding her gumption, Carissa straightened and turned to face him. “Thank you, Phillip. The room has much more space now, and the boys will be much happier this way.”

“Yes,” Nathan said evenly, drawing a deep breath. “I like this much better.” He faced Phillip then, balancing his weight on the balls of his feet like a prizefighter, his arms at his sides. Very solemnly, he lifted his hand.

Phillip smiled, just a little, and shook Nathan's hand.

Tears blurred Carissa's eyes. She didn't know why—perhaps because her son was growing up, perhaps because he and Phillip had called a truce, perhaps because it was understood now that Phillip was no threat. Good husband and father material or not, Phillip Chatam had made it clear that he had no interest in becoming either, at least not so far as she and her children were concerned.

“I'll talk to you tomorrow,” he said, and Carissa nodded, though she had no intention of talking to him ever again, if she could help it.

She watched him go then tucked in her son once more. Phillip might not think that he was husband or father material, but she knew better. He had been helpful and kind and would be, she had no doubt, until the day that she left this house. But that didn't mean that he could ever feel for her what she wanted him to feel. Therefore, the only sensible thing she could do was keep her distance—and hope that would be enough to protect her needy children and her own foolish heart.

Chapter Eleven

O
ver the next few days, as June wound to its inevitable close, Carissa did everything she could to avoid Phillip. She stayed in her suite as much as possible and kept the children with her, coaching them to answer the door and say that Mom was too busy to speak with anyone who stopped by. It helped that the boys were happy to play in their new bedroom, now that they had more space, and that a case of the sniffles kept Grace confined for a bit. They took all of their meals in their suite, too, but one thing she could not avoid was laundry.

It seemed that she and the children had a load of laundry to do every other day, but at least she didn't have to drive down to the coin laundry and dump her hard-earned cash into a bank of machines. Instead, she carried each load to the dumbwaiter and sent it down to the butler's pantry off the kitchen. Then she would tote it the short distance to the laundry room behind the pantry. After sending the loaded laundry basket down in the dumbwaiter as usual, Carissa tiptoed along the landing then craned her neck to look over into the stairwell. She saw that it was empty, so she moved quickly down the stairs that led to the foyer. A quick glance around the curve showed her that the way was clear.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Carissa ran light-footedly into the butler's pantry. No sooner did she open the door to the dumbwaiter than Hilda stuck her head into the room from the kitchen.

“There you are! The Misses want to see you in the parlor.”

Carissa started and gulped. “The Misses? Oh, you mean the Chatam sisters. What do they want with me?”

Hilda nodded. “They want you to join them for tea. Go on now. I just took in the tray.”

Carissa gestured at the basket of laundry. “But I need to—”

Hilda waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, I'll put that in the washer. You can shift it later. Meanwhile, Chester will go up and sit with the children.”

Carissa couldn't very well argue. Her hostesses had asked very little in return for their hospitality. Still, she sensed that this was something more than a friendly tea party.

“Cold water is fine,” she muttered, tucking wisps of hair behind her ears. She smoothed the wrinkles from her faded purple T-shirt and wished the hems of her jeans were not so frayed as she sauntered back down the hallway in her worn canvas slip-ons.

Odelia and Kent met her just inside the parlor. Garbed in another outrageous costume, Odelia flitted and fluttered like the origami hummingbirds hanging by delicate springs from her earlobes, the iridescent fabric of her ensemble seeming to have a life of its own. Kent, meanwhile, resembled a plump barber pole encased in a white suit. Carissa couldn't help smiling. Her smile died, however, when she saw that Phillip was also in attendance.

He stood with one elbow propped against the edge of the ornate white plaster mantel above the fireplace, looking cool, calm, collected and more handsome than a man had a right to be in khakis and a blue-gray shirt, the sleeves rolled up to display his tanned, corded forearms. His tight smile displayed his dimples and seemed to dare her to try to escape. Any hope that he hadn't realized she'd been purposefully avoiding him promptly vanished.

She switched her gaze to his aunts, putting on a polite smile as Odelia, supported by her husband's arm, dropped down on the brocade settee. Hypatia, sitting on a gold-on-gold-striped chair, waved Carissa forward while Magnolia poured a cup of tea from the gleaming silver pot on the tray in the middle of the low, oblong piecrust table. Magnolia placed the delicate china cup on a matching saucer, added a spoon, picked up a thick cloth napkin and passed everything to Carissa when she came within reach.

“Take that chair, dear,” Hypatia directed, indicating the armless chair beside the fireplace. Kent seated himself beside Odelia just as she leaned forward and slid a small tray of condiments to the end of the table nearest Carissa, who took the opportunity to add a bit of honey and lemon to her cup before sliding back into her seat. She stirred, rested the spoon on the saucer, lifted her cup and sipped.

All three Chatam sisters seemed to be perched on the edges of their seats. Carissa felt that she had to say something.

“Mmm. Very good.”

The sisters relaxed with pleased smiles.

Carissa sipped again and wished that she could relax, too, but Phillip hovered over her like a giant bird of prey. She wondered what was coming and began mentally recalculating the estimate she'd recently made of how soon she would be ready to move out on her own. She was so busy revising her budget that she almost completely missed Hypatia's opening gambit and had to ask her to repeat herself.

“I beg your pardon? What did you say?”

“I said, dear, that it's almost Independence Day.”

“Oh. Yes, I suppose it is.”

“We here at Chatam House do so enjoy a good Independence Day celebration,” Odelia gushed.

“The children would enjoy the parade, I'm sure,” Kent put in. “That is, if you think it's appropriate.”

Carissa smiled, wondering why an Independence Day parade might be considered
inappropriate
. “Certainly,” she said lamely, wondering where this was going.

“We were thinking of a barbecue this year,” Magnolia said, “to show off the pool, you know.” She smiled at Kent, nodding in his direction.

“But perhaps a small party would be best,” Hypatia ventured, “all things considered.”

Carissa blinked at her, getting the feeling that “all things” depended heavily upon her.

“What my aunts are trying to say,” Phillip told her, “is that though they usually host a large Independence Day celebration, out of concern for you and your children, they are willing to cut back or even cancel the event this year, although canceling at this late date would be difficult.”

Carissa twisted around in her chair to gape at him. “Out of concern for
us?
I—I don't understand.”

“Well, of course you don't,” he snapped. “You've gone out of your way to avoid contact with everyone in this house! I've been trying to talk to you about this for days.”

“I haven't... We...” She gulped and looked away. “I don't know what
we
have to do with the Chatam Independence Day celebration.”

“The year Daddy died, we weren't in the mood for a party for months,” Magnolia revealed softly.

“Oh,” Carissa breathed, as understanding dawned at last.

“Now, we have spoken to Chester and Hilda,” Hypatia said briskly, “and their only concern is for you and the children.”

Astonished at the kindness and consideration of these sweet ladies, Carissa quickly said, “We wouldn't dream of curtailing your celebration plans.”

“Are you sure, dear?” Odelia asked. “It won't bring back bittersweet memories of celebrations past for you or the children?”

Carissa shook her head adamantly. Her children had seldom enjoyed a real Independence Day celebration. “In fact, I think it might be good for us. You know, take our minds off...” She resisted the urge to glance at Phillip, finishing meekly with “things.”

The sisters traded satisfied smiles, then to Carissa's chagrin, they looked to Phillip as if for final approval. He cleared his throat and said, “Well, if she's sure, I guess we carry on as planned.”

“There's just one other thing, dear,” Hypatia said, smiling benignly at Carissa.

“What's that, ma'am?”

“My sisters and I are wondering where you and the children plan to attend church. We've noticed that you haven't been going with Chester and Hilda, and we thought you might prefer to attend Downtown Bible Church with us. Of course, if you have somewhere else in mind, that's fine, too.”

Carissa got the message loud and clear. As long as she lived in their home, these ladies expected her and her children to attend church. It was very little to ask, considering their generosity.

“Actually,” Carissa said smoothly, “we quite like Uncle Chester and Aunt Hilda's church.”

“Oh,” Odelia said, giving the word several syllables and sounding disappointed.

“Your troubles are bound to seem lighter once you get back into the habit of regular attendance,” Magnolia stated kindly.

Carissa had thought something similar herself, and she wasn't about to argue the point. She did argue when the topic turned to meals. Perhaps she shouldn't have, but Carissa continued to insist that she and the children take dinner in their suite.

For one thing, she and the children simply didn't have the clothes to wear to the Chatam table every evening. They barely had appropriate clothing to wear to church. For another, the children were tired and not at their best by dinnertime. Often, they needed baths before they could eat, and afterward it was most convenient to dress them in their pajamas. She compromised by agreeing to go downstairs for breakfast in the sunroom and take lunch in the kitchen to make things easier on Hilda.

With that settled, she smiled and sipped her tea as talk moved to plans for Independence Day. When her cup was empty, she declined another, set the saucer down, excused herself and went out to check on her children and her laundry. She felt Phillip's eyes on her as she left the room, but he did not follow, and in the days ahead, he kept his distance, merely nodding when they passed on the upstairs landing or in the downstairs hallways, and did not appear at breakfast.

It was absurd to feel hurt, of course. She had started this game, but Phillip's absence left a gaping hole in her life. Somehow, despite her better judgment and best intentions, she had become dependent on him in a dozen little ways, and they all added up to a significant presence that no longer was, had never really been and would never be. The children felt it, too, and all of their lives seemed a little less bright because of it. But they had lived with loss in one shape or another for a very long time; Carissa told herself that they would adjust.

She did what she always did—she kept on keeping on, and soon Independence Day arrived. Independence Day meant putting aside work and joining in the celebration, being part of the whole Chatam family for the day. It also meant pulling out the red, white and blue bits of their respective wardrobes to make a properly patriotic display.

The kids got into the spirit right away. Grace wore a ruffled red knit sundress that was too small for her over a pair of white shorts and white sandals. Carissa used a long, white, filmy scarf to tie a big, floppy bow around Grace's soft red hair, above her right ear. Nathan chose a red-and-white-striped shirt, jeans cut off at the knee and blue canvas shoes, while Tucker went all red: T-shirt, shorts, socks and shoes. The left shoe had a hole in the toe.

In a flash of creativity born of desperation, Carissa cut a star out of the denim shorn from Nathan's too-short jeans and glued it over the hole in the toe of Tucker's shoe. The kids were so impressed that she wound up having to glue blue denim stars to their shoes, too. She even hand sewed them to the straps of Grace's sundress top to make them longer so the dress didn't bind the child under the arms.

For herself, Carissa made do with her good white blouse, blue jeans and freshly laundered white canvas shoes, tying her hair up on top of her head in a ponytail with a red bandanna. Half of her hair promptly flopped about her face in wisps and tendrils, but she left it, tucking what she could behind her ears, and hurried the children downstairs to breakfast.

She sensed Phillip's presence even before she entered the sunroom. He sat at a table with Hypatia and Magnolia, drinking black coffee and eating a mound of pancakes topped by blueberries, strawberries and whipped cream. Grace ran straight to him, but after a single glance of acknowledgment in Carissa's direction, he seemed content to ignore her, even as he lifted Grace into the chair at his side, filled her plate, tucked a napkin under her chin and proceeded to oversee her breakfast.

Carissa made sure that Grace had milk to drink and didn't use too much syrup, but she might as well have been invisible so far as Phillip Chatam was concerned. He had eyes and ears only for Grace and his aunties. For them he was all easy smiles.

Meanwhile, Carissa seated the boys at another table, filled plates and glasses for them and made certain that no more than an adequate supply of syrup flooded their pancakes before cutting them into bite-size pieces. Phillip finished his breakfast and rose just about the same time that Odelia and Kent arrived, decked out in eye-popping patriotic finery.

Kent sported a white straw hat, a white linen suit and a red shirt worn with a blue vest decorated with palm-sized white stars. Beside him, Odelia dripped white sequined stars of all sizes from her flowing red dress to her blue sandals and sash. She wore them attached to the brim of a red, wide-brimmed straw hat and dangled them from her earlobes in long chains, and stars the size of saucers fixed the sash at her waist and shoulder. The boys literally hooted when the pair of them came into the room, and Grace stood in her chair to applaud.

Phillip picked up his plate to clear his place, but Odelia and Kent went to join the boys. Shaking his head, Phillip headed off to the kitchen via the butler's pantry, remarking to the room in general that he'd see everyone later. Carissa took his place, filling her plate from the sideboard that Hilda had stocked at some point.

She told herself that she was relieved to have him out of the room, but deep down she felt a bit slighted...
wounded
, even, the truth be told, which was nonsense. The man was much too handsome for her own good, and while he might be kind and thoughtful and instinctively adept with the children, he lacked ambition and discipline, by his own admission. The wisest thing she could do was to keep her distance.

She managed to do that for another three hours or so, walking with the Chatam sisters and her aunt and uncle down to the corner of the estate to watch the Independence Day parade as it wound its way through the historic district from the downtown square of Buffalo Creek. As soon as they returned to the house, however, the place began to fill up with people, and Phillip seemed always to be at hand, greeting the newcomers with hugs and smiles and making quick introductions. The first to arrive were Garrett and Jessa Willows and their son, Hunter, all of whom promptly swept Carissa's children outside to play. Garrett, the former Chatam gardener, promised to show them all the secret places on the estate.