Love in the Air (22 page)

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Authors: Nan Ryan

BOOK: Love in the Air
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“Oh, Sul—” she looked up, interrupting him “—you’ve got to see this one.” She handed the picture across his desk. It was one she’d taken of him standing beside the plane, just before they departed from Miami to return to Denver. “You look like some handsome, famous movie star.” She smiled at him.

Sullivan glanced at the picture, handed it back and said, “Show me the ones I took of you.”

Kay complied and watched as his dark eyes lit up. He held a small picture between thumb and forefinger, smiling broadly. The photo showed only Kay’s face and bare shoulders; she was frowning into the camera and in her eyes was a distinct look of embarrassment.

“I love this, honey.” He grinned at her. “I want this for my wallet.”

Kay shook her head. “If you ever…”

“…tell anyone that you were naked when I snapped this and that’s why you’re scowling?” His hooded eyes mocked her. “I won’t, sweetheart, but I know, that makes the picture precious to me.”

Kay shrugged. “You’re weird, you know that, Sullivan?”

“Yeah, but when I look at this picture I can see your…” The buzzing of the intercom on the corner of his desk interrupted them. Sullivan grimaced and punched in the button. “What?”

Sherry Jones’s excited voice filled his ear. “Sullivan, is Kay in there with you?”

“Yes, she is.”

“Oh, good. Tell her that she has a very important telephone call from ABC.” Sherry drew in a quick breath. “That’s in New York City, Sullivan, did you know that?”

“Yes,” he said, “I knew that. I’ll tell her.”

“All right, the caller’s on line three. Tell Kay it’s urgent.”

Sullivan replaced the receiver. “I suppose you heard that, Kay. You’ve a call on line three.”

“Hand me the phone, will you.”

“You might want to take it in your office, Kay.”

Kay rose from the chair, smiling. “Why on earth would I want to do that? I’ve no secrets from you.” She leaned over, punched in the blinking light, lifted the phone and said, “This is Kay Clark.”

Sullivan, lounging nonchalantly back in his chair, hands laced behind his head, watched Kay. He saw her eyes widen and sparkle with excitement, and his stomach tightened. Nervously she twisted a long strand of hair while she nodded and said, “Yes, yes. I…well, thank you.” She listened for several minutes, then was again speaking, her voice animated, a look of shocked elation glowing in her eyes.

Sullivan never changed his lazy position. He looked for all the world like a man totally at ease, in charge, relaxed. Sullivan’s reaction was a great shock to Kay when, after she’d ended her telephone conversation she honestly informed him that it had been the program director from ABC in New York City. He was telling her that they’d seen the ratings and wondered if she’d be at all interested in flying up to discuss the possibility of becoming the first air partner of their dynamic morning-show star.

Sullivan’s hands slowly came from behind his head. His jaw clenched and his eyes were cold and hard when he said, “So when do you leave?”

Kay looked at him and laughed. “Leave? Sul, I didn’t say—”

Rage, unchecked, showed on his face and his voice took on a deadly timbre. “Your eyes said it for you.” He rose from his chair, shoved his hands into his pockets and walked to the window.

Kay felt terror rise to her throat. Those eyes looked so furious, so menacing. She knew she must at once clear up any misunderstanding on his part or she was in danger of losing him again. Kay hurried to him, put a hand on his shoulder and said softly, “Listen, I don’t—”

Sullivan spun around to face her. “Listen? I did, Kay. I heard every word you said and I don’t remember a single no coming from those lovely little lips.”

Kay’s apprehension grew alarmingly. “Sullivan, you didn’t hear me say yes, either. My lord, give me a little credit.”

“Credit?” he parroted. “Oh, sweetheart, you get all the credit. You’re the smoothest little number on the airwaves.” His black eyes snapped with fury. “New York City!” He shook his dark head. “Just what you wanted. That’s wonderful, Kay, truly great.”

“I’ve no intention of going, Sul, I just—”

“Why in hell not?” he barked. “That’s what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not.” She was losing her temper fast. “You know very well it’s not.”

“I know you told me New York City is where you belong.”

“I said that only because…because you made me.”

“Damn it, I didn’t make you say anything, or do anything.” He was leaning close, glaring down at her. “When are you ever going to take responsibility for your actions?”

“The same could be said for you, Sullivan.” Kay gritted her teeth, balled her hands into tight fists and tried to regain control. “Sullivan, don’t let this happen. Don’t let this happen to…”

“There you go again,” he interrupted angrily. “What have I let happen? Answer me that, will you? Let you use my phone to talk to your next partner? That it?”

“I can’t believe you, Sullivan.” She shook her head to clear it.

“Well, then, sweetheart, I’m ahead of you on that score, because I sure as hell can believe you.” He laughed hollowly. “Yes, baby, it’s all too easy for me to believe you. And if you think for one minute I’m blaming you, set your mind at ease.” Sullivan turned to walk away.

Kay, her fists immediately coming unclenched, grabbed frantically at his arm. “No! Don’t walk away from me. Damn you, Sullivan. I’m not going to let you.” Her face was flushing with heat, her hands trembling with emotion. “You stand here and face me and tell me that you want me to stay here with you!”

“No way, sweetheart.” Sullivan sneered down at her. “I’m not about to give you that final satisfaction.”

“Satisfaction?” She stared at him incredulously. “You’re not making a great deal of sense. The satisfaction I want is for you to tell me, and mean it, that you can’t bear to have me leave you; that you want me.”

High color stained Sullivan’s face as he said heatedly, “I’m not going to do it!”

“Why not?” Kay was shouting now, feeling the volcanic situation slipping out of control. “Please, Sul, please.” Tears were threatening and her voice broke. “Must you always be so stubborn and blind?”

“You’re the one who’s blind, Kay. Blind to yourself.” His voice was calmer now, sadder. “I wish you could have seen the look in your eyes when you were speaking on the phone. That look said a lot, Kay. Too much for me to ignore.”

“No.” Kay tried desperately to make him understand. “It’s not the way you think.” She clung to his arm, frantically pleading her case. “Darling, of course I was excited that the top station called wanting me. I can’t deny that; it’s very flattering and I was thrilled, I’ll admit it, but—”

“Kay, I understand, really I do. Who wouldn’t be thrilled to get an offer from one of the top radio stations in the country?” He was speaking now in low, modulated tones, the color leaving his face, his coolness returning, and for some reason that terrified Kay more than had he remained furious. “Dear, it’s the chance of a lifetime. I’m pleased for you.” Sullivan smiled.

Heart thumping against her ribs, Kay felt dizzy, ill. “Sul.” She sighed. “Don’t—oh, dear God, Sullivan, tell me to stay. Say you can’t let me go.”

For what seemed an eternity, his eyes impaled her and Kay held her breath, praying to hear the words she was straining to hear with every fiber of her being. The silence was deafening. They stood facing each other, their world teetering on the brink of destruction.

Finally Sullivan sighed. “Kay, I am not going to tell you to stay.”

Kay released her breath. Pride, hurt and her own stubborn will mixed to make her say resolutely, “Very well, Sullivan, don’t.” She tried bravely to smile though her bottom lip trembled with her effort. “I can’t make you, but I’ll tell you one thing.” She gulped for a breath. “This time it really is your fault. If your arrogance and pride are so great that you can’t bring yourself to ask me to stay here with you, then we both lose, darling, because I will leave. I’ll go to New York City and I’ll do the best job I possibly can and in time I’ll forget about you.” Kay paused, reached out, put a hand to Sullivan’s downcast face, making him look at her once again. “It is my second choice, Sullivan. Do you hear me? Don’t ever forget that.”

Kay looked up at him, studying the depths of his dark eyes. She saw there an unmistakable sorrow. It touched her, but not enough to keep her from dropping her hand from his face, turning, stepping past him and walking determinedly to his office door.

The door closed behind her and Sullivan stood rigid where she’d left him. He couldn’t believe it had happened again.

Kay went into her small office at the opposite end of the hall, slammed the door behind her and leaned back against it. Pulses pounding in her ears, knees suddenly too watery to support her, she hurried to her chair, dropping down into it before the threatening dimness could overcome her.

Kay leaned back and closed her eyes. Behind her eyelids she still saw Sullivan standing there looking at her, mute, refusing to ask her to stay.

Kay’s eyes opened. She was overcome with a case of violent trembling and felt for a moment that she might be ill. She sat there, shaking, and throughout she kept hoping that any moment the closed door to her office would fly open and Sullivan Ward would storm in, saying he was sorry, that he didn’t mean it, that he couldn’t stand to lose her.

It didn’t happen.

An hour passed. An hour of agony, regret, disappointment and finally acceptance. Kay’s trembling had ceased. The pounding of her heart had slowed to a steady rhythmic pace. Muscles had lost their tenseness. A great weariness now claimed her.

Kay pushed back her chair, took her handbag from the bottom drawer of her desk and left the station, ignoring the questioning, lifted auburn eyebrows of Sherry Jones at the reception desk.

“Kay—” the young woman shot out of her chair “—this is the first time I’ve seen you without Sullivan since—I mean, where are you going? Is something wrong? Will you be back after—”

Kay gave her a forced smile. “Sherry, I’m going home and I won’t be back today.”

“Well, sure. Kay, if someone calls shall I tell them that you went home?”

“Just take a message, Sherry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, but Kay?”

Kay sighed. “Yes?”

“Well, I’m just dying to know about, you know, New York. I couldn’t believe it when they told me it was ABC calling, I just about had a…what did they want?”

“They want me to come to New York to discuss a position there.”

Hazel eyes widened. “Oh, Kay!” Sherry shrieked. “That’s just wonderful, but of course you told them you weren’t interested.”

“Sherry, I told them nothing of the kind.” Kay smiled and started to move past the young girl’s desk.

Sherry’s hand went to her hips. “Kay Clark,” she said in a voice loud enough that a couple of salesmen looked up from their desks in the adjoining room. “You surely wouldn’t consider leaving Sullivan!”

Kay, biting her bottom lip, simply shook her head and hurried out the double doors without answering.

The winter sun was setting and Kay, alone in her apartment, thought idly how soon something becomes a habit. It was strange to be alone in this place she’d thought of as home until a week ago. She’d not stayed a night here since the eve of the Bahamas trip.

Since she and Sullivan had returned from that glorious holiday, she’d spent every night with him in his penthouse apartment across town. In exactly one week’s time it had become very natural to take all her showers in his brown-tiled bath, to eat her meals from his chrome-and-glass table, to sleep like an infant in his big bed, a pair of strong, protective arms holding her close through the cold winter nights.

Kay sighed and rose from her couch. Listlessly she sauntered into her spotless kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and peered disinterestedly inside. She saw nothing there but a couple of colas, a bottle of catsup and a stick of margarine. Nothing at all to eat. It mattered little; she was not very hungry.

Kay closed the door. She’d restock tomorrow. There was no hurry. She could open a can of soup later if she got hungry. She shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and padded back into the living room.

The last rays of the dying sun had just slipped below the Front Range. It was a beautiful sight. Shades of pink and purple streaked the sky, a pretty pastel backdrop for the majestic mountains framed in the soft, fading light.

She’d learned this past week that sunset was Sullivan’s favorite time of day. He’d insisted, about this time every evening, that all lights in his apartment be switched off and that the two of them, their arms wrapped around each other, stretch out on the plush carpet before the two-story glass in his den to watch the spectacular magic light display. They’d lain there together, he pointing out all the vivid hues and changing colors until all the lovely light had disappeared and the Rockies were no longer visible against the sky.

Kay’s hands came out of her pockets. Slowly she sank to her knees before the glass, her eyes riveted to the western horizon. A knifing pain shot through her heart and Kay sat back on her bare heels, lifted her hands to cover her face and cried. Her shoulders shook with her sobs. It felt very good to weep. Kay gave in to it, crying her heart out while the last light left the sky. When the tears ceased falling, darkness had crept into the room, matching the sad young woman’s mood.

Throughout the long, lonely evening, Kay couldn’t keep from hoping that the phone would ring, that it would be Sullivan saying he was sorry, that he wanted to come over. She was still hoping for a phone call when she crawled tiredly into her bed at midnight.

It was cold in her bed. So cold. Kay assumed the fetal position and longed for the arms that had held her only the night before.

Sullivan was coolly congenial when Kay walked into the control room the next morning. Treating each other like polite strangers, they said little, their conversation sporadic until he swung their mikes into position and the morning show was underway. The show, like always, was professional and polished. They laughed and chatted, easily convincing their listening audience that they were in high spirits and having loads of fun.

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