Love In Alaska (The Love In 50 States Series Book 2) (9 page)

I'd been nervous with Adam in Alabama, unsure of what I was doing, unsure of what was going to happen. I'd let Adam lead the way because I'd forgotten what it was like to have sex. But things were different with Evan. I didn't know why, but I felt confident. The only nervousness I had stemmed from excitement. I didn't want to be a bystander in this encounter...I wanted to be a full participant.

I rolled him onto his back and moved on top of him. I wasn't in a hurry. I wasn't trying to devour him. I kissed his neck while his hands roamed over my ass and the backs of my thighs. I could feel him vibrating against me, pushing up between my legs, like he was trying to find me. I slid slowly down his body, kissing his throat, his chest, his stomach, his hips. His fingers glided over my shoulders and threaded in my hair.

I touched my lips lightly to his arousal and he groaned. “Yes,” he breathed, lifting his hips.

His fingertips pressed into my skull and he pushed his legs out to the sides. I went slow, the smooth skin of his shaft sliding across my tongue. I licked softly, watching his reaction. His mouth was open, his eyes closed tight, his entire body tensed and ready. I smiled and wrapped my hand around him and took him fully into my mouth. He gasped and I felt my own body respond, excited that I had such power over him. I worked my mouth up and down, his cock hard as a rock, vibrating in my mouth. I found a rhythm and sucked harder, my hand pumping up and down as I swallowed him down.

“Oh, Jess,” he whispered, his fingers tightening in my hair. “Jesus.”

His words spurred me on and I went faster, wanting to turn him on more, bring him to the edge. I couldn't remember the last blow job I'd given. Probably back when Brian and I had been dating. He never asked for them and I just assumed I wasn't good at them. Oral sex had never been part of our limited repertoire and I'd just accepted that. But Evan's reaction made me want to keep going, to try new things, to see just how far I could push him.

He shifted his hips, pulling out of my mouth. “No. No. Shit. Stop. I'm gonna lose it.”

“That's fine,” I whispered, closing my mouth over him again.

He waited a moment, then pushed me away again. “No. Not yet.”

I slid back up his body and he turned, rolling me to the side. I tried to push him back, but he held me there and rolled on top of me. He was stronger than he looked. He kissed my ear, his tongue dancing in and out of it, sending shivers down my spine. His hands were light on my body, caressing my breasts, sliding over my stomach and between my legs. I did the same thing he'd done, pushing my legs open wider and inviting him in.

His fingers brushed against me and I gasped, my hands gripping his back. He stared down at me as he touched me, our eyes locked. Desire surged through me and I was desperate to feel him inside of me. His finger rubbed at me, gently, teasingly, and I bucked into him. He slipped one finger inside, then two and I cried out, hanging onto him. A small smile crept onto his face and he worked his fingers faster, massaging me. I lifted my hips and he pulled out, his fingers finding the sensitive nub of my clit. He slid his finger across it, his touch vacillating between gentle and firm. I closed my eyes, focused on the wet heat building between my legs. He quickened his pace and my fingernails dug into his back.

I pushed his hand away, gasping. “No, not yet,” I said, repeating his mantra spoken only minutes earlier.

His hand kneaded my thigh and I thought for a moment he wasn't going to listen. But he shifted and moved his body on top of me.

“Wait,” I said, reaching my hand out of the sleeping bag. “Wait.”

He hovered over me until I found a condom in the small side pocket of my bag.

“Oh thank God,” he whispered, his voice harsh.

I tore off the paper. “Yeah?”

“I don't have anything,” he said. “I didn't think we'd get to...”

I set it on him, then slowly unrolled it. It was his turn to gasp.

“I thought you had everything in that bag of yours,” I whispered.

He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Not one of those.”

I grabbed onto him and guiding him, spreading my legs wider. He pushed into me and I gasped again, his heated shaft filling me completely. My hands slid around his back and I grabbed onto his ass and pulled him deeper. He moved slowly, his eyes locked on mine. He took his time, sliding all the way out of me before plunging back in. He leaned down and kissed me, his lips brushing mine over and over, one of his hands playing lightly with my nipple. I bucked harder against him and he quickened his pace, pumping into me with newfound urgency.

I arched beneath him, the slow, pulsating wave building inside of me. I hated that the condom was between us, and, for one fleeting moment, I thought about ripping it off of him and damn the consequences.

But I wasn't that brave.

His mouth was on my ear again and I wrapped my arms around him. I used every ounce of strength I had to roll him over onto his back.

His eyes opened wide. “Jess.”

“Evan,” I whispered back.

He'd slipped out of me. I straddled him, wrapped my hand around him, lifted up and guided him back into me. He felt longer, bigger now, and I gasped at the sensation of him filling me completely. His hands were on my hips and his eyes were half-open, his blue eyes almost black with desire.  I wanted to see him when he came.

When I made him come.

I moved against him, lifting up and down, controlling our movement. Our bodies were slick with sweat and the musky smell of sex scented the tent. His mouth closed over my breast and I gasped again and picked up the tempo. He stiffened inside of me and his fingers tightened on my hips, his nails digging into my flesh. I lifted up just slightly, resting my forehead on his, my hips pumping up and down. He held on and thrust harder.

“Now,” I whispered, my voice raw with desire. Our eyes were open, an inch apart, like neither of us wanted to miss it.

A flash of heat rose inside of me, threatening to erupt.

“Now,” I said again.

The pressure built inside of me and I bucked on him, moaning as I found my release, writhing against him. He gasped and spasmed inside of me—once, twice, then I lost count, our foreheads touching, our bodies melded together.

The waves gradually subsided and my body went slack. I collapsed on top of him, my head falling on to his shoulder. He was still inside of me and his hands had moved from my hips to my back. I started to move off of him, but his arms stiffened and he held me in place, one hand shifting so he could stroke my hair.

In the stillness, I could hear the rain pelting the tent, the sound like a beating dream. I shut my eyes as my breathing slowed and I nuzzled up against his neck. His arms wrapped tighter around me. I wanted to open my eyes to look at him, to talk to him.

But exhaustion covered me like a blanket and I drifted off.

ELEVEN

I woke in the exact same position, still on top of him, still naked, still inside the sleeping bag. I shifted my head to look at him and he smiled back at me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I said. “Sorry.”

“For sleeping? Don't be. You kept me warm. Again.”

“I wasn't out for long, was I?”

“Hour or so?”

I snapped my head up. “What?”

He chuckled. “Maybe fifteen minutes.”

I slapped at his chest, but laid my head back down against him. “You could've pushed me off.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I didn't want to. And listen? Do you hear that?”

I listened. “It's not raining.”

“It stopped almost as soon as you went out,” he said. “We might be able to make it back today after all.”

“Oh, wow,” I said, not sure how I felt about that bit of news. “Okay.”

“And, this is totally awkward,” he said, stroking my hair again. “But we should probably disengage.” He lifted his hips so I would know what he was talking about. “So nothing gets lost...”

I laughed against his shoulder. “Right.”

I shifted my hips slightly and he reached his hand down between our bodies. I felt him slide out of me.

“Still on,” he said, rolling away from me. “Give me a second.”

I buried my head against the sleeping bag to give him some privacy.

A moment later he rolled back into me. “Okay. Sorry. No easy way to do that, I guess.”

I snuggled into him. “I like that you said something.”

“You liked that I said I should get the condom out of you and off me?” he said. “Wow. I must be boring as hell when we talk about other things.”

I frowned at him. “I mean, I like that you were considerate enough to think about it and then direct enough to tell me.”

“That's me,” he said. “Considerate and direct.”

“That sounds like a slogan for something.”

“Well, if it isn't, it should be.” He smiled. “Maybe that can be my tag line for my company.”

I frowned. “I don't think I'm in favor of that.”

“No?” He gave me an innocent look.

“Not if you want what just happened to happen again...”

He laughed and gathered me in his arms. “That sounds completely irrational.”

“I'm just telling you.”

He kissed me. “You're also telling me there's a chance that that might happen again.”

“Well, not now,” I said. “The rain stopped. We need to get moving, I guess.”

He was quiet for a minute. “You'll need to get up,” he finally said.

“You first,” I said.

Neither of us moved.

“Fine,” he said. “I'll say it.” He paused. “I don't want to go and I want to stay right here and I want to have sex with you again.”

I smiled at him and slid my hand down between his legs. “Yeah. Let's do that instead.”

TWELVE

We stayed in the tent all day and didn't emerge until the next morning. Meals consisted of apples and the remaining cheese and crackers but I didn't care; I was too focused on spending time with Evan. A twinge of disappointment hit me as we started packing up our gear. I knew it was time to go – Evan had another job to get to that was going to take him north of Anchorage and there was another storm predicted for that night – but I wasn't ready for our time together to end.

Not just because of the sex. We'd done just about everything we could sexually do to one another in twenty-four hours time. Paige would have been very pleased – if I'd given her the details. But I was going to miss spending time with him. He was funny and kind and I'd enjoyed almost every single minute I'd spent with him.

Evan's sleeping bag had dried out overnight, as had much of the ground. I helped him break down the tent and repack it. We made sure our trash was bagged up and we scoured the ground to make sure we weren't leaving anything behind.

Then we started the trek out.

The hike back through the valley and over the mountain was just as pretty as it had been coming in. Some of the higher mountains peaks were coated with a fresh layer of snow and everything looked brighter, more vibrant, after the rains. The trees and grass were an emerald green, the exposed dirt a rich, earthy brown, the sky a shade of blue I was sure could never be captured in a painting or a photograph.

The only thing missing from my hike was Evan's voice.

We'd started out chatting as we left, the conversation coming as easily as it had since we'd met. I didn't like the word 'chemistry' to describe relationships, but it seemed like we had it. The further we walked, though, the quieter he got.

So I started getting in my own head.

Maybe he was regretting bringing me. Maybe he was regretting having sex with me. Maybe I hadn't been as good as he'd hoped. Maybe I hadn't been a good idea. The longer we walked without talking, the more anxious I got.

When we stopped to eat a quick snack, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

“What's wrong with you?” I asked, sitting down in the dirt and rotating an apple in my hands.

He sat down across from me. “Nothing.”

“You haven't spoken in almost an hour.”

“You were timing me?”

“No.”

He stared at the apple in his hands, then bit into it. I waited. He didn't say anything, though, focusing on finishing the apple instead. I frowned at mine, but ate it anyway. The flesh was firm and sweet and juice dribbled down my chin. I wiped it away.

He polished off his apple and chucked the core into the thicket of trees. Then he stared at the ground for a moment.

“This is the most time I've spent with one person since I got divorced,” he finally said. “Even with my sister, I saw her in small doses. I haven't been with anyone continuously for this long since I left her and California. I've kept to myself. On purpose.”

“Okay,” I said, not really understanding.

“I did it on purpose because even though I was happy to be done with Amanda, I got burned,” he said. He ran a hand over his beard. “I didn't want to get burned again and for me, that meant doing my own thing. Keep moving, keep everyone at arm's length, that sort of thing.” He paused. “And I've gotten really, really good at that.”