Love Finds a Home (20 page)

Jake pulled into the driveway, surprised to see a line of cars parked in front of Emma’s house.

After going home to shower and change his clothes, Jake had been tempted to crawl into bed, close his eyes and slip into oblivion for the next ten hours. But he couldn’t. Not until he apologized to Jeremy. And to Emma.

The front door opened as Jake got out of the car and Jeremy hurtled toward him.

Jake didn’t think twice. He caught the boy up in his arms and gave him a hard hug.

“You’re okay,” Jeremy gasped.

“I’m okay.” Jake’s heart wrenched. Until this moment, he wasn’t sure if Jeremy would look at him with resentment for not being there when he needed him. “I’m sorry that I didn’t make the race this morning, bud.”

More sorry than he could say.

“I know you had to work. Officer Koenigs told us,” Jeremy said, inadvertently twisting the knife in Jake’s heart again.

He had talked with Phil several times over the course of the day, but the officer hadn’t mentioned he was the one who had told Emma about the standoff.

Jake glanced toward the house. For all the cars, there were no signs of life. No sign of Emma, either.

Would she even want to see him?

“We won the race.”

“What?” Jake dragged his gaze back to Jeremy’s face.

“We won.” Jeremy repeated the words with a proud grin.

Relief swept through Jake. Someone had come through for Jeremy when he hadn’t been able to. He sent up a silent thank you to the Lord looking out for him. “Who signed on as first mate? Was it Daniel? Quinn?”

“Nope. Mom did.”

Jake couldn’t have heard him right. “Your mom?”

“She was the only one who knew how to put the raft together,” Jeremy reminded him. “She did good, even
when I almost fell into the water when I was untying the bandana from the buoy.”

If Jake had wondered if Emma would forgive him, Jeremy’s matter-of-fact comment provided him with the answer.

Now he regretted giving in to the urge to kiss her even more. It only created another bond that had to be severed. Because if Emma ever did fall in love again, it wouldn’t be with someone who brought pain and uncertainty back into her life.

“Do you want to see the trophy?” Jeremy was already tugging him toward the house.

“I don’t want to intrude if you and your mom invited company over.”

“We didn’t invite them,” Jeremy said blithely. “And it’s just Mr. and Mrs. Redstone and Miss Porter and Kate.”

Another twist of the knife.

If they had shown up without being invited, that meant they’d been worried about Emma, too.

“Quinn must be here.” Abby rose to her feet when they heard a car door slam. “He said he was going to stop by after the park closed.”

Emma hoped Abby’s fiancé would have some word about Jake. As the day had stretched on, she had battled fear. Doubt. Familiar adversaries, only the difference was, she didn’t feel as if she were facing them alone anymore.

At Daniel’s suggestion, they had all prayed for Jake’s safety and the safety of the other officers. After that, the man had proved to be a welcome distraction for Jeremy, taking him and Shadow on a long walk around the property.

Abby had taken over the kitchen, putting on a pot of coffee while Kate and Esther dished up plates of food. Their concern had wrapped around Emma like a warm blanket.

“I’ll pour a cup of coffee for Quinn.” Kate was on her way to the kitchen before Emma could stand up.

It was a good thing she wasn’t standing.

Because the man Jeremy led into the living room wasn’t Quinn O’Halloran. It was Jake.

Jake’s heart stalled when he saw Emma.

Her face was pale. Her eyes red-rimmed and puffy.

He had done this to her.

“Praise God.” Daniel clapped him on the back and everyone surrounded him. Everyone but Emma.

Jake hadn’t expected to have an audience when he apologized to Emma, but maybe it was a blessing they weren’t alone.

Kate herded him over to the sofa. “Tell us everything.”

Not a chance, Jake thought. Instead, he briefly summarized the past fourteen hours, careful to gloss over certain details. Like the young man staggering out of the cabin with a loaded shotgun.

There was no point in putting that image in anyone’s mind.

Fortunately, no one asked him to elaborate when he finished the story but Jake had no doubt that Emma, of all people, could fill in the details he had left out.

“I have to get something.” Jeremy dashed out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a gold trophy.

“This is great.” Jake summoned a smile as he took
the trophy and turned it over in his hands. “I knew you could do it.”

He tried to give it back but Jeremy shook his head.

“I want you to keep it.”

“I can’t do that. It belongs to you—and your mother.” Jake couldn’t look at Emma again. Not yet.

“But you helped me build the raft. You’re part of Team Victory.”

“But I wasn’t there.” Jake felt at a loss, knowing he didn’t deserve something that meant so much to Jeremy.

“That’s why I want you to have it. Mom said it’s okay.”

Jake felt as small as the gold letters stamped on the bottom of the trophy. “How about we make it a traveling trophy? I’ll keep it for a month and then I’ll give it back to you.”

“And Mom can take it for a month, too.”

“Right.” Jake cleared his throat.

“Would you like a cup of coffee, Jake?” Kate waded bravely into the awkward silence that fell.

“Or something to eat?” Abby chimed in.

“No, thank you. I just stopped over to apologize to Jeremy and Emma for missing the race this morning.” Jake backed toward the door. “I’m pretty exhausted.”

Jeremy followed him to the door. “Are you coming over after church tomorrow?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to.” Jake pushed out a smile. “But I’ll call you and we’ll set something up, how’s that?”

“Okay.” Jeremy grinned. “Take good care of the trophy.”

“I will.”

At least that was one promise he could keep.

Emma looked out the window and saw Jake’s car pull away.

For the past two weeks, he had followed the mentoring guidelines to the letter.

Once a week for four hours.

No more, no less.

School had started, so Jake had started to pick up Jeremy in the evening and take him into town or back to his cabin. If he did talk to her, he maintained a polite but careful distance.

It was driving Emma crazy.

Something had changed between them. The night of the parade, he had drawn her into his arms and kissed her. Now he treated her as if they were barely acquaintances.

More than anything, she wanted to tell him that she had surrendered her heart to the Lord. That she understood the freedom that came from trusting Him. In some ways, Emma felt as if she had come back to life again.

Did Jake realize that trusting her with his story had, in turn, helped her put her trust in God?

“Hi, Mom.” Jeremy wandered in, lacking the bounce Emma had gotten used to seeing after he spent time with Jake.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound too sure.” Emma gave him a playful nudge. “What did you and Jake do tonight?”

“He helped me with my leaf collection for science class.” Jeremy scuffed the toe of his tennis shoe against the concrete floor.

“You must have enjoyed that.”

Jeremy shrugged. “I guess.”

Emma put an empty mold into the sink and propped a hip against the table. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you, sweetheart?”

“It’s different now.”

“What’s different?”

“I like hanging out with Jake, but I liked it when he came over here, too.”

So did Emma.

“Maybe you should tell him how you feel,” she suggested cautiously.

“I did. He said that ‘it’s for the best.’” Jeremy knelt down and wrapped his arms around Shadow’s neck. “But it doesn’t feel like it’s for the best.”

Emma frowned. What had Jake meant by that? The best for whom?

“I’m going inside to work on the rest of my homework.” Jeremy rose to his feet. “Come on, Shadow.”

Tears pricked Emma’s eyes. Not just for Jeremy, but for both of them.

Whatever his reason, Jake had walked away. Emma decided it was time to find out why.

Chapter Twenty-Two

J
ake glanced at his watch. If Matt didn’t show up at the pavilion in five minutes, he was going back to the police department.

Maybe he would cut it down to three minutes.

The pastor had called earlier that morning and said he wanted to talk to him, but for some odd reason, had suggested they meet at the park instead of the church office.

Because Jake had a pretty good idea what the topic would be, he was reluctant to meet with Matt at all.

The night before, when he had dropped Jeremy off and saw the lights on in Emma’s workroom, it had taken all his self-control to drive away. And it hadn’t helped that Jeremy had asked him why they no longer spent any time at his house—and why they were only getting together once a week.

Jake had given him a vague answer about school starting and it being for the best, but the truth was, it was killing him to stay away from Emma and cut down on the amount of time he spent with Jeremy.

He sat down on one of the benches overlooking the
water and tried to pray. Lately, Jake’s conversations with God had been a struggle, too.

“I’m surprised you’re still here.” Matt jogged up to him.

“You had another two minutes and twelve seconds.”

The pastor smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I believe you.”

“So what’s on your mind?”

“Skipping the small talk, huh?” Matt shook his head. “I’m all for that—what’s going on with you and the Barlows?”

Maybe he would rather discuss the weather, Jake thought. But it was too late now.

“Did Jeremy talk to you?”

“Actually, I got a call from your brother.”

“You talked to Andy?” Jake lifted a skeptical brow.

“That’s right. He’s concerned about you. And so am I,” Matt added.

Unbelievable, Jake thought. Or maybe not, considering what his brother and his friend did for a living. “I’m a big boy. I don’t need you guys hovering around me like I’m a five-year-old learning to ride a bicycle.”

“Hovering?” Matt snorted. “We were arguing on the phone about which one of us gets to do the honor of smacking you upside the head.”

“I didn’t make this decision lightly,” Jake growled. If anything, it was killing him. Over the past week, he’d been careful to stick to the four-hour time block he’d agreed to upon joining the mentoring program. “Why
did
you make it?”

Jake couldn’t believe he had to ask. He plowed his
fingers through his hair and speared Matt with a look. “You know why.”

“Humor me.”

“I saw Emma’s face that day. It was like sending her back in time to the day Brian died, right down to Phil Koenigs giving her the news.” Even now, Jake’s composure staggered under the weight of it. “For a while, I thought there could be something between us—something good—but I can’t promise her that I’ll always be safe. That I’ll always come home on time or…that I’ll come home at all. I’m not going to put her and Jeremy through that again.”

“Are you sure that Emma is the one you’re protecting?” Matt asked quietly. “Or are you protecting yourself?”

“Maybe I’m protecting all of us.” Jake stared at the water with unseeing eyes. Even if Emma shared his feelings, he couldn’t stand it if, down the road, those feelings changed. Better to make a clean break now. “This is for the best.”

“If you’re making a decision about us, don’t I have a say in what’s best?”

Jake froze at the sound of Emma’s voice.

He shot an accusing look at Matt, who shrugged. Not at all repentant—or surprised—that Emma was there. That she might have overheard some of their conversation.

“What happened to confidential meetings with the pastor?” he muttered.

“Oh, those take place in my office,” Matt said with cheerful disregard for the dark look Jake tossed his way. “The park is open to the public. I have no control over who comes and goes. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going.”

Jake’s mouth dropped open, but he couldn’t get a word out. Not that it would have mattered. Matt was already halfway to the car. “Jake?”

He couldn’t look at her. It
hurt
to look at her.

“I should be used to being set up by my friends.” Self-preservation sharpened his tone.

Emma flinched and guilt arrowed through him. This wasn’t her fault, Jake reminded himself.

“Don’t be upset with Pastor Wilde. I called the church this morning and asked if I could set up an appointment to talk to him. He said he wouldn’t be able to see me until this afternoon, because the two of you were meeting.”

“At the park.”

“He might have mentioned that, too.” Emma took a step closer.

Jake couldn’t help it. He braced himself to absorb the pain and looked at her now. The luminous smile on her face stole his breath.

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know that you’re wrong.”

“Am I?” Jake’s lips twisted. “So you weren’t upset with me for standing Jeremy up on the day of the race? Resentful that I had to put my job ahead of him? Worried about me when you found out that I was in a standoff with a drunk kid holding a shotgun?”

“You’re right.” Emma’s voice trembled. “I was all those things. At first. But the thing you are wrong about was that you put me in a situation I’d been in before. I wasn’t. And that
was
your fault. Because of you, I didn’t go back to that place because I’m not the same person I was six years ago. I’m not the same person I was a month ago. I wasn’t, what your verse says,
rooted in love.
I didn’t trust God—now I do. I know He’ll never leave me.

“You told me that spending time with Jeremy was a gift that you didn’t deserve, but you didn’t see that you are as much of a gift to us. To
me.
You questioned whether you had anything to give but you gave me something that I’d lost. Hope.”