Love Delayed (21 page)

Stenton grabbed my heavy breasts, kneading them through my thick sweater. I could hear my ragged breaths. His big hands
rose to my head, holding me in place as if I’d fly away without his consent. My hands flew to the wings of his back, desperately wanting to rub the ink splayed back there just as I did several weeks back. I then felt his hands all over my waist, causing traces of lingering sensations wherever he touched. Our kiss turned hard and fast in no time. When he pulled from my mouth, I was gasping for air. He looked at the adjacent wall for a while, clenching his jaw. I wondered what he was thinking, but couldn’t catch my breath to ask.

Then his heated gaze returned to me and everything happened in slow motion. He was channeling something with those marbled orbs as he bore into me with them.
His eyes only dropped to watch himself pull at the drawstring of my sweats. My line of vision followed his. My back was against the hard cold wall, my front was against the hard hot essence of Stenton’s arousal.

My chest dropped and fell, dropped and fell and dropped in and fell in anticipation. The wild look in his
heavy eyes made very clear what his intent was. The only question was whether or not I could be so bold to deliver. The knot was undone and his marbled orbs were intently regarding mine once again. He slowly licked his lips causing my sex to clench. I missed him so much. Just in that short three-day getaway with him in Alpine, I’d familiarized myself with his expressions of desire. The back of his hand caressed the short hairs of my private area. His eyes flickered. He was communicating with me. I then felt his long finger moving lower until I felt it at the juncture of my labia—

“What the hell?”
I heard preceded by the forceful close of the door. 

I jumped into Stenton’
s hard chest as he simultaneously grabbed me and supplied a salacious grin. I chanced a glance beyond his left shoulder and found Paul seething, his hands on his hips and bouncing on one foot. 

“
Were you seriously going to fuck her against the wall…in the library?” Paul gasped.

My neck reversed back over my shoulders and saw the
unwavering mischievous smile on Stent’s face. 

“
Uhhhhh...cameras!” Paul whispered forcefully. “Did you think of that, genius?” 

I banged the back of my head against the wall at that revelation.
What am I doing?
I lowered my right leg from his high waist, trying to stand, but Stenton grabbed me at the sides of my thighs. 

“
No!” he growled thickly. My breathing increased again. He lowered his forehead to mine, closed his eyes. There were a few seconds before he whispered, “I don’t like not being able to call, to contact you.”

I felt myself exhale.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered painfully. I didn’t know what I was apologizing for; it just felt right. His compelling scent reminded me of the private experiences we shared weeks ago. “Well, I
do
have a crisis happening right now,” I squeaked remorsefully.

Then I felt an object being stuffed between us causing a sharp pain just beneath my bra line. My head jerked down and saw Paul, pushing a small box and looking pointedly at me. I look
ed up at Stent and found him rolling his eyes, clearly annoyed. Mechanically, I took it and examined the image of the smartphone on the cover.

“My number is programmed
in already,” Stenton’s deep tenor forced my attention. There was strong regard in his eyes, something sobering. “Call me.”

This time, I successfully pull
ed myself down from him and studied the box. 

It took
a few seconds, but I murmured, “Sheesh! I could always email to keep in touch.”

Stenton sh
ook his head. “You seem to have a roadblock there, too, remember?” Stenton reminded me.

And before I
could speak, Paul piped in, “And don’t think that won’t be resolved soon.” His tone was laced with sarcasm. I honestly didn’t know how these two worked together. 

I
looked directly ahead at Stenton, expectantly. He returned it with a shaking of his head that gestured I should ignore Paul’s attitude. 

“
We have to go, Stent,” Paul warned. “After the stunt you pulled last month with skipping out of town without letting anyone know, you shouldn’t be pushing it like this.”

“
I have to go,” Stenton murmured regretfully. “Zo, call me when shit like this goes down. Just call me. All the crazy shit going through my mind these past few weeks...”

“
What?” I plucked a brow. “Did you think I was too busy sorting out psychosexual development with Leo?” I gave a mock gasp.

The corners of his lips quirked into a half smile.

“That’s cute, but that smart ass mouth is going to get you in a world of trouble with me,” he all but whispered with a smirk playing at the corners of his lips before walking over to the door after Paul.

The sad look in
Stenton’s eyes told me he wanted to stay with me just as much as I wanted him to. It took me a minute to come down. I could still feel the heat from his touch. Could still smell the aroma of his cologne. I collapsed against the wall and fell on my haunches. When I landed, a sharp pinch of my skin had me hopping to my feet. I reached around to my back to assess what caused the alarming nip. I felt crisp paper and pulled it out to find all types of bills; Benjamins, Grants, Hamiltons and Washingtons folded. I went back and sure enough, there were more. I quickly counted over twenty four hundred dollars.

When did
…? How?

Then I heard a chirp from inside the cell phone box. I scramble
d to the table and opened it. There was notification of a text. I slid the bar and found a message from “
Niña’s Lover
”.

That’s all I had on me.

He knew I’d found it.

You didn’t have to do this.
I collapsed my woozy head on the table. All of a sudden, I felt exhausted by all of this.

Yes, I did. Call me
...day or night!

I stayed there in the library for at least another two hours. I spent much of it trying to get Stent
on out of my head. I couldn’t. I was now in a realm with which I had no experience. I felt things for him that made no sense to me cognitively, but my heart—and body—was so easily and naturally inclined to the idea of him. I needed help sorting through my feelings and could only think of one person with whom I could trust this crazed elation. Just at that thought, my stomach growled. I packed up my things and headed to New Brunswick.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Momma, when did you know you were in love with Daddy?”

I sat
at the small kitchen table that I’d spent countless hours of study at, watching her work at a comforting pace as she cooked.

“What was that?” Ruth rudely interject
ed as she came busting through the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. “I asked Momma when did she know she was in love.”

“Why don’t you ask me that question? I may be the youngest, but we all know I got the most experience of the two of us. I’ll school you on that.” She grabbed a soda from the fridge and swung her small body into the seat across from me.

“Because I’ll get the Bonn
ie and Clyde version of illegal infatuation.” I plucked a brow, warning her to back off.

“It’s more than you’ll ever have, always got that face stuck in a book.”

“Better a book than a mug shot,” I quickly returned.

“All right now,” my mother’s voice carried without being too high an octave. “We’re not going to start this fighting. Our family is going through enough as it is.”

Just then, Ruth’s phone rang. She answered it with the biggest and most mischievous smile that I wanted to gag at the sight of. The trouble my family had been experiencing had begun because of Ruth and her affinity for thugs. Almost a year ago, Ruth was arrested with her boyfriend when he had been pulled over for bad papers on his car. That minor infraction wasn’t the biggest find that night. No. The biggest was the drugs they found in the vehicle. Although they found small amounts of cocaine on his person, she was with him and caught the same charge. My parents had to hire a good lawyer—one they technically couldn’t afford—to beat the charges. Unfortunately, they used monies that should have been paid on their mortgage and car for her representation. They’d been underwater ever since.

It had taken months for me to work through my resentment of my sister. I read countless scriptures and books on forgiveness. It had been hard watching everyone in our home
be preoccupied with staying afloat except for Ruth. She’d broken up with that boyfriend for unrelated reasons, and moved on to another of the same caliber. It upset me to no end.

“To answer your question, young lady,” my mom called over to me, awakening me from my trance
, “I knew I was in love with your daddy when I saw a husband in him. I had lots of crushes when I was a young girl. But when I saw myself as his wife, I knew I was in love.”

I sighed, resuming my previous source of frustration.

“So, because I don’t see myself as his wife it means I’m not in love?”

My
mother paused as my gaze was fastened to her kneading hands that were in a mixing bowl, preparing dough. “Is this about that tall young man that came over here Christmas?”

My eyes
averted in inferiority. I never lied to my mother, but discussing something that had become so precious—complicated—to me almost overnight wasn’t as easy as all of our other conversations. Sarah Barrett was my best friend. There was nothing I couldn’t come to this woman with. My mother never judged; only guided and nurtured. I had to get on one accord with her concerning this. I needed answers.

“Elizabeth
Ardell Barrett, don’t you look away from your momma like you stole the last of the porridge. Spill it, young lady!” Her voice was so firm, yet powerfully controlled. She didn’t want to alert my dad or sister.

I rolled my eyes back over to her. “I told him I love him,” I squeaked.

Her left hand landed onto her popped up hip.
“And if I know my own child, you meant it.” It wasn’t a question. She knew I’d never been in love nor made it. Her long searing gaze was inquisitive. And as my mother, she knew every answer that didn’t leave my mouth by asking the questions that never left hers. She knew that I had given myself to Stenton Rogers. “Did he at least say it back?”

I chanced a glance to see her mouth wide open and her brows furrowed. She was unsettled.

“Yes, Momma.”

“Do you think he meant it?”

“Yes, Momma.”

“How?”

I sighed, feeling my stomach jump in my abdomen, the same sensation I’d always feel when I thought of Stenton. “Because he looks at me as though I’m the coming messiah. It’s hard to explain, but when his marble orbs hit me, I feel a power over him too potent for a mere human being. It empowers me and scares the crap out of me at the same time. Momma, I’m so…”

“Confused.” She answered for me. My sister re-entered the room and just when I thought the conversation was over because my mother snapped out of protective mode and went back to her dough, my mother continued, “And afraid.”

“Yes, Momma. Afraid.” My voice reduced to a whisper. She understood me.

“Well,” Ruth inserted herself back into the conversation. “…if you still a virgin, Zo, you ain’t in love, or you crushin’ on a man that don’t want you ‘cause I truly do believe you are going to die with your library card in one hand and your v-card in the other.”

“Ruth!” my
dad shouts from the living room. “Come turn this TV to my sports channel.”

Ruth suck
ed her teeth, but quickly obeyed as she swung her legs from beneath the table very dramatically and stomped her way out of the kitchen.

“You just make sure y’all be careful, young lady,” my Mom whispers over to me with her face contorted. She was not happy, but not judging either.

“We always do, Momma,” I fully put it out there to make it clear that she knew about my move into womanhood. I couldn’t keep that from her.

She rolled her eyes hard back into her bowl. “Go get cleaned up for dinner. I hope you
stayin’ for the peach cobbler.”

“Momma, I have to get back on campus. I didn’t come for dinner. And I keep telling you not to make so much food now that I’m not
here. We really have to cut back,” I whined. I had been so worried.

I shared the foreclosure letter with my parents when they returned. I even supplied them with information on the procedure and possible alternatives. While they took the paperwork and promised to look at it, they
pushed me out the door and back to campus begging me to not get stressed over it. They assured they’d take care of it. It was too late. I’d lost four pounds since then.

“Elizabeth, this here is my home. I gave that foreclosure mess and repo junk to the Lord. He will provide for us. As your mother, I want to encourage you to finish what you started at school. You should be focused on that. Not here with something that me and your daddy is petitioning for in prayer. We
gonna survive this.” She moved to the fridge. “Now, here. I already packed this up for you. I knew you would be back any day now. You don’t ever seem to stay away for too long.”