Love and Truth (21 page)

I pulled my head up from his chest and looked into his eyes.

“How did you get to be so wise at twenty? Everything you just said makes so much sense. I think I just had an
a ha
moment. I had truly never thought of it that way before.”

His profound words made me feel safe with him. Cherished. Loved
.

Chapter Fifteen

“God, Jonathan,” I said, stuffing my face with food he prepared for us. “This is so good. What is this?”

“It’s
gyudon donburi
, which is just a bowl of sticky white rice topped with sautéed beef and onions simmered in dark soy sauce and mirin. It’s a common Japanese dish. My mother makes it often. I’m glad you like my cooking and I love that you actually eat. Girls who won’t eat in front of a guy are so annoying.”

He popped open the top of a drink can and gulped down a thirsty swig. He let out a sudden loud burp and I bursted out laughing.

“Oh my God, Jonathan. You did not just belch in the presence of a lady.”

His face reddened with embarrassment and I couldn’t control my laughter.

“Okay, you can stop laughing now. Too early in our relationship for bodily functions, huh? Guess I’ll put back the beer.”

I watched as he grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator and pushed the beer aside. I wondered why he was drinking beer, anyway.

“I didn’t realize you were drinking alcohol. You shouldn’t be drinking beer. You still have to drive me home.”

“It’s just one Orion, sweetheart. I’m fine to drive after one beer, I promise. I can hold my alcohol.” He smiled and handed the beer to me. “Here you can have the rest. Maybe it’ll make you burp, too”

“I’m not old enough to drink. You know that.” He rolled his eyes and nudged it toward me on the counter.

“We aren’t in a bar. It’s half a beer. You aren’t going to jail over it. Plus it’s Japanese beer. You can add it to your list of new things you’ve tried.”

I picked it up hesitantly and took a careful drink. I was surprised by the taste. It wasn’t bitter the way beer normally seemed. I had only tasted beer twice from my dad’s Corona bottles on a dare from Annie. This was less bitter. It was a little sweet and not super-carbonated.

“Yum, this is good. I think I could actually be a beer drinker in Japan. Annie would flip if she saw me drinking beer. I’m almost tempted to take a picture because she wouldn’t believe me otherwise.”

“Here, get your phone and I’ll take a pic for you,” he said, picking up my bag. “You should take as many pictures as you can. I definitely say your first Orion warrants a picture.”

I dug into my bag, grabbed my phone, and handed it to him.

“Okay, smile.” I held the can near my face and pointed at it with my index finger with a cheesy grin. He snapped the picture and we laughed. It felt great to be at ease with him, laughing and being goofy. I snatched the phone back from him.

“Come here,” I said. “I want one of us together.”

“Sure, only if you promise to forward it to me.”

He crouched down so our faces were touching side-by-side. Just as I snapped the picture, he turned and kisses me on the cheek.

“Jonathan! You messed up the picture.” I pushed out my bottom lip and gave him a pouty face. “Aw, don’t be that way. I can’t resist that face.” He leaned in and kissed my bottom lip softly and snapped another picture. “That picture is better with me kissing you. Otherwise, it would have just been our faces. Now it has meaning. It’s a picture of my affection for you.”

I kissed him back he tasted like beer and mirin. I realized I was ready for dessert.

“Did you make dessert, Jonathan?” I asked, kissing his neck. He curled toward me head and smiled.

“You can’t say things to me like that.”

I quickly pulled back from him, feeling shy suddenly. “I’m sorry.”

He grabbed me with one hand on each side of my face. “No, don’t apologize. It’s just that when you say something like that it makes me lose control. I don’t want to lose control with you, you know?”

He ran his hands down to my hips and pulled me into his body. Immediately, I knew what he meant. Heat flushed my cheeks and my inner thighs clenched from the sensation. I felt his hardness against me and I felt my hand brush from his chest slowly down to the edge of his dress pants.

“Sweetheart, please. Damn…Nicole.” I slowly glided the palm of my hand down over his zipper and applied slight pressure as I explored the source of his passion. I knew I couldn’t see it, but what I felt was nothing like what Annie described. My man was gifted. My thoughts were interrupted by Jonathan grabbing my hand. He softly kissed the palm of my hand.

“You touching me like that is hot as hell, but I can’t take it. I can’t handle you touching me so intimately. I’m not going to ruin this with you, so I’m going against every physical demand that my body has, and I’m gonna go take a cold shower.”

He leaned into me and kissed me on the cheek. I was left standing, wondering what the hell happened. I pushed him away for so long, but now that he saw an innocent virgin he couldn’t let me touch him. I wondered why this had to be so difficult. Now that I surrendered myself to him, all I wanted was him. All of him. Did that make me a slut?

I heard the water from the shower so I walked over and peeked around the corner to the bedroom. Suddenly, I saw him, bent over and shirtless, pulling off his pants. He stood back up and I could see all of his bare back. I didn’t know there were more tattoos. I saw intricate pieces of art along his scapula, just below his neck and shoulders. He kicked his pants to the side and stood in a pair of black boxer briefs. I felt like I had died and gone to another universe. I moved toward him without realizing what I was doing. He heard my bare footsteps and turned around to face me. My jaw was hanging open now and I saw his nipple ring. I couldn’t believe it. I was officially putty in his hands. My eyes dragged over his tan, toned body and I wanted to stare at him forever, touch every inch of him, trace every detail of all his tattoos with my fingers.

I needed to be careful or I was going to disappear into him. My self-identity was too important to become consumed with a boyfriend, like I had watched so many girls do in high school. It wasn’t healthy to lose yourself in another person. I didn’t know much about relationships, but I felt like I gained some maturity by waiting this long to get involved in one. I knew that a relationship shouldn’t strip you of your self-ownership. The novelty of everything made me greedy for love. I told myself that it was okay, as long as I kept my identity intact.

I walked to Jonathan and stood within in inches of him. He looked at me with shimmering eyes.

“Nicole, you need to go back in the living room,” he said in a low, guttural tone. I looked him up and down again and rubbed my fingers across his piercing.

“I like this. It’s very bad boy and sexy.” His pectoral muscles quivered as I ran my hand across his chest.

“Sweetheart, you really need to go, because if you don’t you’re going to make me regret what happens next.”

I reached deep within and embraced the woman that I had suppressed for so long. I brought my hands to the tie of my shrug and untied it slowly. His eyes grew wide and he bit his lower lip hard. I slid my shrug off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I reached down and hooked my thumbs under the waistband of my leggings and peeled them off in one fluid motion.

“Nicole, you don’t have to–”

I dropped the leggings and rose back up, placing my finger to his lips.

“
Shhh,
Jonathan. Heed your own advice and get out of your head.”

He dropped his head backward and squeezed his eyes shut. I knew his body was waging war with his mind, but I didn’t care. He swiped his hand down his face and took a deep breath, as he looked at me with the darkest look of desire. I reached up and hooked my thumbs under the straps of my leotard and pulled them off of my shoulders. He stepped closer and I gasped as he reached out for my hands to still them.

“Let me,” he said, desire rolling off his tongue. He fluttered his fingers across my cheeks and down both sides of my neck, his eyes never leaving mine. His fingers reach the top edge of my leotard, curling them just enough to grab onto the edge of the thin cotton.

“You sure?”

I nodded as he deliberately pulled it down revealing me to him inch-by-inch. The aroused tension in my body tightened. He slid both hands across my collarbone to my chest and gently cupped each breast, sweeping his thumbs across my hardened nipples. He glided his tongue from my neck down until he circled my breast before covering it with his mouth. I gripped onto his hair, feeling warmth and need spread through my body. His hand grasped my other breast as he rolled the nipple between his thumb and fingers. He tugged my leotard down the rest of the way and I felt it fall to the floor. He trailed kisses back up my neck, pulling my hips into him. Our bodies pressed into each other and the heat of his skin on mine was breathtaking. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and he stopped me.

“No, these stay on.” He pulled his face back from me, his mouth forming a hard-pressed line. I nodded and felt my face turning red. “Now, let’s take the rest of this off of you and get into the shower. I promise I’ll make you feel good, but we aren’t having sex tonight. I won’t take that from you now.” I nodded again and before I realized it, my tights were off. I stood in only a white cotton pair of panties, wishing that I listened to Annie and bought some that were sexier. At least these aren’t granny panties, but they weren’t special. He looked me up and down with wide eyes.

“God, you’re perfect. Every inch of you is flawless.”

He knelt in front of me, looking up for reassurance. I smiled and his hands started at my ankles, gliding up my legs and leaving a trail of lust in their wake. His fingers brushed the edge of my panties as he started to slowly pull them down. They rested around my ankles and I was bare to him. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss just under my navel that caused heat to pool between my legs.

“Perfect, so perfect,” he whispered against my stomach. He reached down, lifting one foot at a time and helping me step out of my panties before standing up. “You’re the most beautiful gift I’ve ever seen.” His eyes dropped to my mouth and he pulled my face in for a long, passionate kiss. A tangible desire rose in me as my lips parted for him. He took me in his arms and pulled me towards the shower. He opened the door and guided me inside, never losing his connection to my lips. The warm water cascaded over my body as it intertwined with his. He released my mouth and ghost-kissed across my cheek. He pulled away, reaching for the soap and I smiled up at him, memorizing his full lips and perfect jawline. He washed my body in slow circular motions with his strong, masculine hands. He turned me around and gently worked the shampoo into my hair, massaging my scalp with his fingers. I leaned back and closed my eyes, feeling the exhaustion and stress from the day drip away with the water. He turned me back around and let me rinse my hair as he slowly knelt to the shower floor. I wondered what he was doing and cringed with ecstasy as he pressed his lips to my most sacred spot. I gasped and reached out to brace myself against the shower wall.

“Jonathan what are you–”

He pulled back and looked up at me with ravenous eyes.

“Just relax, sweetheart. I’m going to make you feel good. I’m going to take care of you. Relax and let me show you how much I want you, how badly I want to taste you.” I leaned my head against the wall and steadied myself as a foreign feeling build in waves inside of me. I reached out with one hand and dug my fingers into his shoulder as a burning heat spread through every fiber of my being. A moan escaped against my skin as the intensity rose within me. I looked down at him and the sight was indescribable. Whimpers escaped me between ragged breaths. Suddenly, the most intense mind-blowing force erupted within me, shattering me into a million tiny pieces, and I cried out his name. I gasped as my body suddenly grew heavy. I tremored and slid to the floor, where he caught me. He kissed the inside of my thigh before embracing me. I rested my head on his chest, trying to catch my breath. Our bodies fused into one. He caressed my back with his hands and I never wanted to leave this shower.