Love and Let Die (13 page)

She’d wondered about it. “I don’t, but it doesn’t follow his pattern. No one can really cover every bit of his trail these days. There are too many CCTV cameras. I think that’s why he left England.”

“He was done in England. He was through fucking with my team. He did exactly what you said, baby. He set us up to do his dirty work so he could walk out with the prize—an already set up network of arms dealing. I managed to shut that shit down, but it took some maneuvering.”

Ah, the joys of habit. He’d always called her baby. His fingers drummed along the table, a sure sign that he didn’t know what to do with them. She could tell him where to put his hands, but she thought he wouldn’t take suggestions kindly at this point.

“So he’s looking for a new racket. I’ll have Chelsea look into this Kashmir guy.”

“No, I’ll have Adam do it. You and Chelsea should be on a plane going somewhere that is absolutely one hundred percent not here.”

She needed him to understand that leaving wasn’t an option. “I am not leaving again, Ian. I’m making my stand here. I’ve spent five years on the run, and I’m tired. I want a life. I want it so bad, I’m willing to risk the one I have now. I want to be your wife and have some babies and be your sub. If you throw me out, I’ll sleep on the street outside your house because you need me. You need me and no one else.”

He pushed his chair back, seeming not to care that he jostled her. “You should go and sit with Eve. No. Phoebe. Eve would talk to you. Phoebe’s scared of her own shadow.”

She settled back on her heels, looking up at him. “I would rather be with you.”

His jaw formed a stubborn line. “You can sit with Phoebe or leave my building. It’s one or the other. I’m willing to give you some shelter because I’m not sure if you’re playing me or not, yet. I can’t let you go if you have information I need, but I’m not going to play the devoted lover again, so get out of my office.”

Damn it, she’d pushed him. She’d always been so impatient about the things she really wanted. It was her Achilles’ heel. She got to her feet with no help from him. “All right. I’ll go and sit where you want me to. May I have a computer?”

Those arctic blue eyes narrowed. “So you can blow up the world?”

He was a deep believer in hyperbole. She ignored him. “So I can make some notes about what I know.”

“Just send me the file you have. I’ll make my own notes.”

He could be so stubborn when he wanted to be, and he almost always wanted to be. “Damn it, Ian. I can’t just sit there for six hours or so until we go home.”

“I’m not taking you home, Charlie. Because of Alex, we have to go to Sanctum tonight. If you don’t effectively play the role of my sub, our cover with the DPD could be blown. So maybe you should sit around and think about obeying me. Go.” He pointed to the door. “Don’t you dare cause any trouble. I swear if I hear you even talking to someone, I’ll tie you up and gag you, and not in a fun way.”

He would do it. But she’d just been given the keys to the kingdom. She was going to have to make sure she sent Alex McKay a little thank you note. “Yes, Master.”

“I am not your Master.”

“If it walks like a Dom and delivers orders like a Dom, it’s usually a Dom. If he’s brutally sarcastic, he’s my Dom.”

Ian caught her arm, whirling her around. “I mean it, Charlie. I am never going there with you again. That part of my life is done. I might fuck you again because Alex has put us into a horrible position and we always seem to end up in bed, but it’s only going to be sex. I won’t allow you in again. Do you understand? I’m trying to warn you. If you let me, I’ll tear you up and I’ll enjoy it. I’ll take everything I can and give you nothing in return except pain and regret.”

But he’d already saved her life. “I understand. I’m willing to risk it.”

He loomed over her. His presence sent her every nerve into overdrive. He closed in on her, forcing her back against the wall. She was suddenly so aware of her body—the way her nipples peaked, her breath picked up, her pussy ached.

“That’s not very smart, Charlie.” He stared down at her. If she didn’t know him the way she did, she would have sworn he wasn’t affected at all. His face was emotionless, his body all intimidation. But she heard the way his voice had deepened and she expected that if she just reached out a hand, she would find his cock hard and wanting.

She hesitated because touching him when he was in this state without permission would be a bad idea. Her Master needed his control back. She was going to give it to him. “I think it’s the only smart thing I’ve ever done.”

He leaned in, pressing his body against hers. Yes, he was definitely not unaffected. “Then I won’t try to help you again. I’ll take what you give me and I won’t apologize, but this is going to go my way from now on. You’re going to obey me or this whole process is done.”

She nodded, not taking her eyes off him even as he pressed his cock against her belly. She couldn’t help but soften against him, but she kept her hands to her sides. He wasn’t ready for her affection. “All right, Ian.”

“Go to the accounting office. I expect you to be sitting there in her office at five o’clock. At noon, you may get up and have lunch with Phoebe in the break room. She’s the only one who doesn’t eat out or in her office. You may not talk to her. I’ll have someone go downstairs and get you a sandwich and a drink. You will have forty-five minutes at which time you will return to your seat. If you need a bathroom break, ask Eve or Grace to escort you.”

Oh, he was going to try her limits, it seemed. She knew she should agree, but the bratty words just flowed from her mouth. “I think I can find my way to the bathroom, Ian.”

“That’s ten.”

She had to take a deep breath. Oh, fuck, he was going there. “I thought you weren’t my Master.”

His hands were on her shoulders, lightly tracing the lines of her body. His voice had softened as though he was thinking of something else, something sweeter. “I’m your Dom for now because it’s the only way I can trust you to do what I tell you. You’re dangerous and someone has to keep you in line. I’m viewing myself as a rattlesnake handler. We’re in high protocol, Charlie. You will speak when spoken to. You will obey my every directive or you will take your punishment. If you do not follow my rules, I’ll contact the Agency and let them handle you.”

He wanted her in a corner with no way out. He didn’t seem to understand she didn’t want out. He needed to be in charge. She was willing to spend a boring day so that he got what he needed. “Yes, Master…I mean, Sir.”

Master meant they had a special relationship. She’d fucked that up. A Sir could be any Dom. It was a politeness. Despite the fact that he was definitely acting like her Master, he needed to be Sir for now. She could play that way.

“I mean it, Charlie. This is all you’re going to get out of me.” He pressed his cock against her, bringing his forehead to hers. “I’m not the man you knew. I’m a bastard, and I won’t feel a moment’s regret fucking you and leaving you to your fate when I’m done. When I have what I need out of you, I’ll walk away and I won’t look back. I buried you a long time ago. There’s nothing left but a little bit of lust and a whole lot of business between us.”

But the lust was so building. She could practically feel it rolling off him. “If we’re laying all our cards on the table, I should tell you that I intend to find my way into your bed and I intend to stay there. I don’t care how long it takes. You loved me once. I’ll make you love me again.”

“I never loved you, Charlie.” He breathed the words against her skin. His hands moved from her shoulders to her chest, his eyes trailing down. He let his palms rest over her mounds and sighed a little.

God, if he didn’t love her, she would take the connection she felt with him anyway. “Again, a risk I’m willing to take. You want me.”

He took a long step back, but his eyes remained on her chest. “Yes, but it’s not the same. It’s sexual chemistry. I’m willing to admit that I have it with you. I have more sexual chemistry with you than most other women. But lust is all there is between us. Show me your breasts.”

Lust felt so good. She ignored his line about most other women because it was just sheer stubborn stupidity. In the last several years she’d learned to shove the bad crap aside and revel in the rare sweet times. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t tease and taunt him. She simply pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it aside before going to work on her bra.

Cool air hit her skin. Her nipples were still puckered from the feel of his hands on her body. She let the bra slip out of her fingers before assuming the position she was sure he wanted. Hands clasped behind her back, chest thrust out.

Ian stared. Charlie waited. He liked to spend long, agonizing moments just looking at her.

Your body belongs to me. Your breasts, your pussy, your ass are all my property.
He’d said the words to her so long ago, but she could still hear his dark voice claiming her.

What do I get in return?
She’d asked, her voice breathless.

I’m yours. Only yours, Charlie. Everything I am. Everything I have. Everything I will be. All yours. Past. Present. Future. I’ll give them to you.

She’d screwed up the past. Needed the present. Longed for a future. So she stood there, offering him everything she had.

He reached out and placed a hand on her breast, lightly at first, his fingers skimming her skin. His eyes were down, watching the place where they connected. He traced the round disc surrounding her nipple, watching it tighten and peak for him. He brushed the nipple, making her want to beg him to tug it into his mouth. Her body was softening in all the right places. She could feel her pussy getting wet and ready. All he had to do was touch her and she was ready to spread her legs and welcome him home.

Instead, she stood perfectly still. He didn’t seem to be taunting her. There was a bland look on his face, but his fingertips were tender as they explored her, running along the blue veins that crossed her chest. He skimmed the puckered scar where the bullet had gone into her shoulder, just under her clavicle bone. He spent time there, circling it with his thumb, staring as though memorizing the place.

His fingers moved again, this time to her throat. She remembered when she’d worn his collar. It had been leather at first, but he’d bought a Cartier gold collar that circled her neck, reminding her always that she was his.

“Where did it go?” Ian asked as though reading her mind.

Tears sparked against her eyes. “I don’t know. It was gone when I woke up. They had taken my ring off, too.”

She’d lost her collar and the platinum and diamond ring he’d bought for her. She’d felt naked for so long without them. It had taken her almost a year to stop reaching for the collar. She’d worn it for so short a period of time, but it had become a habit to touch it when she was nervous.

“It’s somewhere in Scotland Yard’s evidence room then. Or someone stole it.” He touched the place where his collar had sat.

“I’m so sorry, Ian.”

He seemed to come back to himself. “It’s all right. It was only money. I made more.”

She closed her eyes, blinking back tears because he was willfully misunderstanding her and there was not a damn thing she could do now to fix it. She’d known he would punish her. She hadn’t known how much his distance would hurt. “All right, Ian. I’ll get dressed and go sit with Phoebe.”

At least it would likely be quiet in the accounting office. That Phoebe chick didn’t seem like a big talker. She could think about the situation, find a way to get to him.

“You owe me ten, sub.”

She thought he would forget about that. God, she was standing here with him and she was half naked and he wanted to smack her ass. Suddenly she wasn’t sure she could handle it. “Ian, you don’t have to discipline me. I understand. The situation is serious. I’ll sit with Phoebe and I won’t cause trouble.”

“Twenty.”

He was such a damn hardass. “Fine. Where do you want me?”

“Over my lap. You’re overdressed for discipline. Take it all off and place yourself over my lap. When I’m done, you can get dressed and think about not defying me again. You’ll have a whole afternoon to contemplate your new reality. If you don’t like it, there’s the door, sweetheart. Don’t expect me to step in front of another bullet for you.”

She let her fingers find the waistband of her skirt.

“Are you really not wearing underwear?” Ian asked, sitting back down in his chair. Somehow he made the functional piece of furniture seem like a throne.

She kicked off the flats she was wearing as she tugged the skirt off. “I told you. I’m not allowed to wear underwear.”

“Not while you’re serving me, you’re not. But when we’re done, you can do anything you like, Charlie. If you want to cover that pussy with plastic wrap, I won’t give a shit. But while we’re playing Master and sub, you’ll follow my rules. Come closer. Show me your pussy. I need to make sure you meet my standards. Brighton won’t believe our cover for a second if you’re not groomed properly.”

If she wasn’t, what would he do? Very likely shave her himself. He would tell her the whole time that he didn’t want to do it. He had to because it was part of their cover and he wouldn’t love her but, oops, his penis slipped inside and that didn’t mean anything either.

“I got lasered.” She stepped in front of him.

“Spread your legs.”

God, he was going to kill her. She moved her legs apart, giving him the access he wanted. His hand slipped between her legs, running across the petals of her sex, lighting her pussy up. “I’m smooth everywhere, Ian. Believe me, she was very thorough. I screamed for two days while she ran the damn thing up my labia.”

His free hand smacked her ass, a sharp beat against her flesh. “No cursing.”

No cursing. No pubic hair. Nothing new there. “I’m just saying I’m perfectly smooth down there.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. When did you decide to get this procedure done? Did you check into the company?”

She gasped as his fingers slid into her labia, parting her and testing the skin there. God, there was no way to hide the fact that she was wet and ripe. “I got lasered about six months ago because I was tired of shaving and there were weeks when I couldn’t take a bath because I was on the run. I found the shop I used on the Internet.”