Love and Food (2 page)

              While she is sitting on the sofa, she remembers the security cameras.  If she hadn’t come home early, Kyle would have erased the records or turned the cameras off completely.  She wants to see if the cameras captured anything.  She wants to hear what a man says to his mistress.  She wants to see if Kyle spoke about her and what he said.  She needs to know the things her fiancée whispered to his lover in the throes of their affair.  She wants to know if he was telling Stella the things that he should have been saying only to her.

              She is relieved and also scared to find that the cameras were on and rolling while Kyle and Stella were in the apartment alone.  Now that she can, she is not sure that she wants to see and hear what happened between them.  She might be better off not knowing.  Sometimes it’s better to stay in the dark.  She contemplates not pushing play, but the curiosity gets the best of her.  She decides that she is in a better position knowing everything she can know.

              She presses play.  The video shows Stella arriving at the apartment.  She is disgusted to see how she and Kyle embrace, as if they’re long lost lovers.  There isn’t much conversation between them.  It’s pretty much straight into the bedroom. 

“Well, that didn’t take long,” she says out loud and rolls her eyes.  Why is she not surprised? 

              She fast-forwards through them having sex.  She stops when they’re done and cuddling.  Their pillow talk - that’s the part that she wants to hear.  She thought there would be some idle talk, but their conversation quickly turns to her.

Stella asks Kyle, “Do you really love her?”

              “I used to,” Kyle replies, looking up at the ceiling, “but things changed.”

              “What changed?” Stella asks.

              “Well, she started working a lot and we started spending less and less time together.  We started living separate lives.”

              “So, why do you stay with her?”

              “Honestly, I don’t know.”

              “Kyle, you’re having an affair with me.  I think that says a lot.”

              “You’re nothing like Haillee, Stella.  You’re the complete opposite of her, actually.”

              “What do you mean?”

              “Well, take your looks for example.  When I met Haillee, she was so thin.  She was like model-thin - absolutely gorgeous.  She had a gorgeous face and a gorgeous body.  I couldn’t keep my hands off of her.  Whenever I was around her, my dick was always rock hard.  She turned me on so bad.  She was like a magnet.  I couldn’t stand to be away from her.”

              “So, what changed?” Stella asks and rubs Kyle’s chest.

              “Well, as time went by, she let herself go.  She got so fat.  You’ve seen her.  She eats and eats and she doesn’t exercise.  She’s just flabby now.  As her weight increased, the more my sexual attraction to her decreased.  As she gained weight, her face started to change and she started to become less pretty to me.  She doesn’t look anything like the woman I fell in love with.  Sometimes I think I’m looking at a complete stranger.  You on the other hand, are sexy as hell. You have a nice toned body and I can’t get enough.  I love the way you look”

              She listens to Stella giggle and it makes her cringe.  She can’t believe the way Kyle is speaking about her.  She thinks about every time Kyle has told her that she was beautiful.  He was lying to her.  She thinks about all the times that they made love and how it seemed like he was enjoying himself.  It was all an act.  While he was kissing her and touching her, he was really thinking that she was hideous and gross.  She continues to listen.  She wants to see what else Kyle thinks of her.

              “Haillee has a lot of going for her though, doesn’t she?”  Stella asks.  “She has her own business.  That’s a lot more than most people have at her age.”

              “The business,” Kyle says and laughs.  “You mean the business that she’s running into the ground?  The restaurant will be closed in a month.  Haillee is no businesswoman.  The restaurant is a joke.  I wouldn’t let Hailee run my washing machine, let alone a full blown business.”

              “I thought that the business was doing alright?” Stella asks, sounding confused.

              “Well, you thought wrong.  Haillee is barely making enough money to keep the lights on.  You’re lucky that you got paid this week.”

              “Wow.  I didn’t realize that things were so bad.”

              “Well, they are and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get any better.  Unfortunately, in the very near future you’re going to be out of a job.”

              “Well, that sucks.  I better start looking for another job then.  So, what about the wedding?”

              “I don’t know what I’m going to do about the wedding.  I don’t know if I’m going to go through with it.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  I keep asking myself if I want to be married to Haillee for the rest of my life.  I just don’t know.”

              “What about us?  I thought that you were going to end things with Haillee, so that we can be together?”

              “All is good time.  Just give some time to figure things out with Haillee.  Can you do that?” Kyle says, kissing Stella on the forehead.

              “I can wait, just as long as we keep getting together like this,” Stella says, looking up and kissing Kyle.

              “Don’t worry.  I’m not going to stop seeing you like this.  Being with you is the best part of my life these days.  I’m not going to give you up for anything.”

              “Good,” Stella says, climbing on top of Kyle, straddling him.

              Haillee watches herself come onto the screen and catch Stella and Kyle.  She turns off the recording.  She is shocked and astounded.  She leans back into the cushions of the sofa and thinks about everything she has just heard.  She can’t believe that the person that she loved, cared for and wanted to spend the rest of her life with has betrayed her, not only on a physical level, but on an emotional one.  He’s betrayed her with his body and in his thoughts.  Kyle is nothing that she thought he was.  She was completely wrong to think that his feelings for her were genuine.  He had stopped loving her long ago. 

              She can’t stop the tears from falling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.  Today has been the worst day of her life.  She walks into her kitchen and grabs a bottle of wine.  She doesn’t bother getting a glass.  She is just going to drink it right from the bottle.  It’s the only thing she can think of to do to dull the pain.  With each gulp, she becomes a little bit number.  When she is drunk enough, she lies down on the sofa.  She can’t sleep in her bed tonight.

* * * * *

              “He did what!” Monica exclaims.

              “I found him in bed with Stella, you know the waitress,” she says into the phone, looking at herself in the mirror and thinking about the things Kyle said about the way that she looks. 

              “Oh my gosh, Haillee, I’m so sorry.  What an asshole.  Do you want me to come over?”

              “No.  I’m okay.  I’m going to go to the restaurant in a bit.  I just going to spend the day there and try to keep busy.”

              “So, what did he say when you caught him?”

              “He said the usual things that cheaters say.  He pretty much blamed me for it.”

              “He’s an idiot, Haillee.  You’re a good woman.  Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

              “Not according to him.  I watched the security tapes and you wouldn’t believe the things he was saying about me.  It boggles my mind.  I’m still in shock.”

              “What did he say?”

              “He said I was fat and that he wasn’t sexually attracted to me anymore.  He said that I don’t know how to run a business and that the restaurant will be closed in a month.”

              “You know that he’s full of shit, right?  You’re beautiful, you know that, right?”

              “If you say so.”

              “Don’t let scumbag Kyle get into your head.  You’re a gorgeous woman who has so many things going for yourself, including the restaurant.  Not to mention, you’re kind, considerate, trustworthy and an amazing friend.  Shall I keep going?”

              “I appreciate your kind words, I really do, and I may be all of those things, but that doesn’t change the fact that the man I was supposed to marry in two months thinks I’m a disgusting pig and cheated on me.”

              “Haillee, you’ll get through this.  You’re one of the strongest people I know.  Please don’t let this destroy you.”

              “I don’t plan on it, but it hurts like hell.  All I want to do is curl up on the sofa, eat ice cream and hide out.”

              “If you want to do that, I’ll come over and keep you company.  You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

              “I’ll be okay.  Like I said, I’m going to go to the restaurant.”

              “Well, if you’re sure.  I’ll stop by there later, okay?”

              “That would be nice.”

              “You do know that Kyle is going to come crawling back, right?  What are you going to do when he does?”

              “I really hope that he doesn’t.  I gave him back his ring.  The wedding is off.  I’m going to have to let everyone know.  I probably won’t be able to get my deposits back, but I really don’t care about the money.  I’m just glad that I found out the truth before it was too late.”

              “It really is better that you found out sooner rather than later.  Divorces can be very messy.”

              “I guess there’s a silver lining to every dark cloud,” she says, feeling depressed.

              “There always is.  Things probably seem really bad right now, but you’re going to be okay.  You believe me, right?”

              “I do.  Thanks for being such a good friend, Monica.  It means a lot to have someone I can talk to about this.”

              “You know that I’m always here for you.  You’re my best friend.  We’re going to get through this together.  You are not alone and if you need anything, I’m ready to drop everything and come be by your side.”

              “I know and thank you.  I’m going to get ready to go to the restaurant.  I’ll see you later.”

              “Definitely.  I love you, girl.  Keep your head up, okay?”

              “I’ll try and I love you too,” she says and hangs up the phone.

              She’s not sure how she’s going to get through the day.  The world is not going to stop turning just because her lying, cheater fiancée betrayed her.  The restaurant needs her.  All she can do is put one foot in front of the other and try not to let the despair she feels deep in her soul overwhelm her.  She has to keep moving.  ‘Keep busy’ is the mantra that she is going to keep playing in her mind. 

* * * * *

              She walks through the doors of the restaurant.  She can hear Mack in the kitchen and it’s a relief to have something normal to cling onto.  The restaurant and its sounds are her normal.  She is glad she has a place where she can go and immerse herself completely and forget about Kyle and his hurtful words and actions. 

              She takes in her surroundings.  The restaurant was once just a dream.  She used to spend hours imagining what it would look like and smell like.  She used to spend hours imagining how the tables and the chairs would look and what kind of food she would serve.  She looks around at her dream come to life. 

              The restaurant looks exactly the way she used to imagine back in culinary school.  It was birthed from nothing but determination, persistence, and want.  She would sit and think about the restaurant for hours everyday and she used to have dreams about it at night.  It was something that she vowed would be hers one day, so to stand in the middle of the dining room and have it be hers in real life is everything that she ever wanted.  It’s become that and so much more.  The restaurant is her baby.  Her creation. 

              She thinks about all the steps it took to make her dream a reality.  It took so much hard work, effort, and time.  To have it slowly slip through her fingers is a nightmare.  She had such high hopes for it and she still does.  She does not want to have to close its doors.  Closing the doors would mean killing off a part of herself – the best part.  She can’t imagine what life will look like if her dream dies.  The restaurant is who she is. 

              She slowly walks through the dining room towards her office.  She wonders how many times she has left to take this walk before the sinking ship has completely sunk.  She knows that she can’t keep things afloat for very much longer without some sort of breakthrough.  The numbers don’t lie.  She’s just not making enough money to sustain the business.  She knows that something has to change, but what?  She’s done everything that she knows how to make the restaurant better, but nothing has worked.  She’s slowly coming to the end of the line and running out of time to turn things around.