Lost to the Gray (3 page)

Deep down
, though, I knew I was playing with fire.

Chapter 3

I spent a sleepless night on the office couch. After I took care of Levi’s situation, I planned on purchasing a futon, something new and a hell of lot more comfortable. From the hours of three a.m. on, I worried over two things: first, utilizing my extensive list of resources in search of someone both discreet and well-informed on the matter of death markers. And second, deciding how I’d eliminate the mark once I found out who was holding Levi’s debt. My overactive brain notwithstanding, it was impossible to get comfortable on the couch. I was exhausted.

As the morning crew vacuumed, put clean glasses away, and wiped down tables, I brewed another pot of coffee. Even magical beings like me needed to recharge, and this morning there wasn’t enough caffeine in the world to get the job done. Truth be told, I still felt raw and emotionally drained. The past three and a half months had kicked my ass. Worry nearly ate me alive. Helplessness eroded my mind. Powerlessness drove me to a state of madness. And it all came at the hands of a woman who claimed to love me. A wish is absolute. What she did to me—wishing for me to stay in Seattle until she came back—was as good as a prison sentence. In solitary confinement. Without food. Water. Companionship. For life.

Of course, I wasn’t relegated to only the space surrounding my living room couch or anything, but what Darian didn’t understand was that our souls are tied together. When she left, she took a part of my essence, my very
being
with her. Even surrounded by people, I felt isolated. I ate, drank, slept, but still, I hungered. For her. I was
starved
for her. What drove me over the edge, though, was the fact that Darian truly needed me out of her hair. That her desire to go out without protection—
without me
—was so strong that I had no choice but to grant her wish.

I looked down at the cup in my palm, the once hot coffee now cold with a thin layer of ice coating the surface. Icicles hung from the handle and bottom of the cup like stalactites, and I set it in the sink, too agitated to control the physical effect of my emotions. Iced coffee wasn’t really my thing. A couple of deep breaths helped to settle me down, but the calm was short-lived. My skin prickled with sensation, and a static energy clung to the air around me.

Darian was making a wish.

And just like that, the sensation vanished. Her wish couldn’t be granted. Needs versus wants. Curiosity ate at me as I wondered what she could have possibly wished for. Had she asked for me? Had she wished that I’d come home? Gods, I wanted to believe it. But the wish hadn’t been granted, so whatever she’d wanted, she didn’t actually need. What could she have wanted so badly that she couldn’t have?

No longer in the mood for coffee, I

* * *

Jinn rules dictate that my magic could only be used to protect my Charge, which left me . . . at a slight disadvantage in the event this situation with Levi got out of control. Levi didn’t need to worry about that, though. I’d just need a little help to get this done. Backup. After several hours of research, I’d managed to narrow my list of contacts down to a few names. A couple of them I used as contractors as well, so I’d be killing two birds with one stone. One name jumped out at me from the scant list. I was wary to reach out; this particular professional made me nervous. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that this assassin was the one for the job. I tried to avoid Reapers at all cost. This one could be useful, though. The only problem was Kaii didn’t talk on the phone. Ever. In fact, I had no idea if Kaii was male or female, only Fae. For some reason, Kaii’s identity was a heavily guarded secret, one I wasn’t even allowed to be privy to.

Any contact had to be made by text. I fired off a quick message filling Kaii in on the details: that I needed someone with extensive knowledge of death markers, someone who could identify one particularly, and an efficient assassin who could eliminate a target without muss or fuss. I added that I’d pay a bonus for expediency. Ultimately, I would’ve rather had Darian for the job. She could become incorporeal no matter the time of day. The stealth factor was a huge bonus when stalking prey.
Not an option, Ty. Get your head clear, man
.

The answer came a few seconds later when my phone vibrated across the desk. Fastest response time ever. Thank the gods.

Employment terms: 500k wired to my private account. 20% bonus if closed out within the week. No guarantees on the muss or the fuss. Send pic of marker.

Well, the cost was a little higher than I would have liked. Not to mention the extra hundred grand I’d have to pony up if the Fae assassin managed to get the job done in a timely manner. In the end, it was worth it. I would have paid ten times that to help Levi out. Luckily, I could afford Kaii’s price. I fired off another quick text agreeing to the terms. Once Levi showed up for the day, I’d send a pic of the marker. Finally, I felt like we were gaining ground rather than just spinning our wheels.

“Updating your Facebook status?” Levi asked as he closed the office door behind him. “O-M-G, just bought the cutest new jeans!”

“You’re pretty damn chipper for a guy with a price on his head,” I remarked as he flopped down on the couch. Though he’d been joking around, I could tell Levi was still stressing out. He looked about fifteen years older than his meager twenty-six, and his shoulders slumped like he carried the weight of the world atop them. “I need a pic of your marker.”

semes, seLevi dug the disk out of his pocket and set it down on my desk. I snapped off a few pictures from different angles and texted them to Kaii. “You find anything out? Because I’ve got nothing.”

I didn’t want to get his hopes up, but I thought he could use something positive to focus on. “Maybe. It’s too soon to tell, but I offered up a twenty percent bonus for expediency. Money has a tendency to motivate people where other leverage fails.”

“Don’t I know it,” Levi murmured absently. He picked the marker up from my desk, tossed it in the air and caught it, flipping it down on top of his hand and gave me a rueful look. “What do you think? Heads I live, tails . . .”

“Don’t talk that way,” I said. “There’s nothing to chance.”

“Jesus, Ty.” Levi stuffed the marker back in his pocket and sighed. “I haven’t slept in days. I keep worrying that someone will stop by, or I’ll get a call from whoever owns this damn thing. This marker could make me someone’s slave. They could make me do anything! Kill, steal, torture . . . I wouldn’t have a choice. Well, I guess I could choose to die rather than be blackmailed, but death isn’t all that appealing. I’m . . . I’m
scared
, Tyler. I’m not ready to check out yet, you know?”

I looked Levi dead in the eye. “I’m getting you out of this. Period.”

My cell buzzed and Levi went dead silent. Seriously, Kaii was exceeding all of my expectations. Must have really wanted that bonus money. The text was short and to the point.

Have lead. Will send word.

I smiled at Levi, my confidence in the situation ratcheting up with each new text. It was a damn good thing too. The sensation of a wish being made fired my senses, and again the request went unanswered. What in the
hell
was she asking for? Darian wasn’t in danger, I knew that much. It truly hurt that now, after months of my practically begging her to use her wishes constructively, she was reaching out to me. Kaii’s bonus would be well worth it. I needed to get out of town ASAP, before I lost my fucking mind.

“You okay, man?” Levi asked, waving his hand in front of my face. “You sort of checked out there for a second.”

“What? Yeah, no worries. Hey, why don’t you take tonight off? I’ll call Windy in to bartend.”

Levi shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m not about to sit around my apartment all night worrying about this shit. Work is the only thing keeping my mind clear.”

I could relate. Time to dwell on the situation only made things worse. I wasn’t exactly anxious to spend any amount of time alone either. “All right,” I said, keeping my tone light, “get to work then.”

“Thanks, Ty,” Levi said as he headed out toward the bar. “I owe you, you know.”

“No, you don’t,” I said. “You’re my friend, Levi. Friends don’t owe debts.”

Once our bro-moment was over, I left Levi to work and I stretched out on the couch, determined to get a few minutes’ sleep. It went against our rules to use magic for our own benefit, but damn it, the couch was killing my back. No one would notice a minor adjustment, so I allowed my magic to gather, swirling within me like a building storm. Power settled in my stomach, a cold knot of eneked knot orgy looking for an escape. I let the magic course through my veins, and a chill shook me from head to toe. Slowly, so as to not arouse suspicion, I let the magic trickle out of me, shifting my focus toward a singular thought. Usually, the use of magic was quick and reflexive. But those were sanctioned acts—magic that served the purpose of the Charge.

The cushions expanded slightly, not enough for a hell of a lot of comfort, but it got rid of the spring poking into my hip. Selfish magic. But not powerful enough to alert the Synod. My magic—just like all Jinn—was monitored by our ruling body. A council comprised of six Jinn, bastards with too much power in my opinion, who could make my life a living hell if they sensed I had violated any of our rules. I’d been known to break more than a few rules in my long life, and the bastards hadn’t caught me yet. If they ever found out what I’d done . . . let’s just say I’d be in
way
over my head. I didn’t regret my actions, though. Just as I relived the memory of that night, I knew I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

* * *

Almost midnight.

I’d taken my fifth lap around the building’s rooftop and I was still fidgety as hell. What was wrong with me? I was as nervous as . . . shit, I was so nervous I didn’t even have anything to compare it to. I hadn’t had to live through those awkward teenage years. Is this what guys felt like on their first date? Only, this wasn’t a date. This was business. But gods, I’d been thinking about Darian for weeks. I couldn’t get her out of my head. The fact that our bond would be sealed in a matter of minutes made my stomach do a three-sixty. Waiting had been the only option, and it damned near killed me.

I fiddled with the ring in my pocket, blindly tracing my thumb over the image I’d engraved into the silver. Would she accept it? I could barely get her to shake my hand; I could only imagine what her reaction was going to be when I handed a piece of jewelry over and asked her to wear it.
Jesus, Ty, it’s not like you’re asking her to marry you or anything.
Chill out.
No, I wasn’t asking her to marry me. The gravity of my acts tonight was a thousand times more serious than some rinky-dink ceremony in front of a priest. Without preamble or fanfare, I would give myself to her. More of me than I’d ever given anyone. And Darian wouldn’t even realize what I’d done.

“Well, I’m here. Let’s get this over with so I can go to bed.”

Her voice cut through the silence, as warm and sensual as the summer night air. I kept my back to her, afraid that if I turned around and looked into those hard green eyes that I’d turn into the same blathering idiot who’d hired her a few weeks ago. I wasn’t some virginal pup, I’ve had my share of women, but gods, she made all of them disappear in her wake. “If I didn’t know any better,” I said, “I’d think you asked to meet up here so you could get me alone.”

Her eyes lightened, crinkling ever so slightly at the corners, and her mouth twitched as if she wanted to smile. That guarded attitude of hers took over, though, and the hard expression that masked her emotions so well settled on her face. “I don’t mix business with pleasure, Tyler.”

So she’d told me several times already. We’d spoken on the phone at least twice a week since our first meeting. I used any excuse I could think of to cont pnk of ttact her. Hell, I’d gone out looking for a lowly bastard for her to kill just so I’d have an excuse to meet with her. “You know, there’s this thing called a wire transfer,” I remarked as I handed her an envelope of cash, her fee for completing her first job. “Maybe you ought to look into opening a bank account? I mean, what are you going to do, stuff that money in your mattress for safekeeping?”

She raised a brow, and though I had a feeling she was going for snarky, her expression warmed me. Gods, how I wanted to peel off those layers of black clothes to reveal every inch of her pale skin. “I never said I didn’t have the means to accept a wire transfer. I don’t trust you, plain and simple. And until I do, I’m not giving you anything that you can use to track me.”

Guarded. Suspicious. Damaged. Gods, she was so, so damaged. “So I guess you won’t be inviting me over to your place anytime soon?”

“Not a chance.”

Crash and burn. “Since we’re having trust issues, you’ll be getting fifty percent of your fee now, and fifty percent when the job’s done for your next few assignments.”

She scowled, and Christ, it was all I could do to keep from tackling her right there on the roof and kissing her senseless. My pulse thrummed faster with excitement when she acted all tough and annoyed, and how sick was that? “Fine. But once we’ve established that I’m consistent in getting jobs done
—
damned efficiently, I might add
—
I get one hundred percent of my fee up front, no questions asked. Got it?”