Lost To Me (18 page)

KOLTON

Rob’s t-shirt read,
I know how many licks it takes,
and had the Tootsie Pop owl on it licking a red sucker. He blew smoke out the side of his mouth. “Dude, you just met the girl.”

I sat across the picnic table from him drinking a chocolate milkshake while he downed his second cup of black coffee. It wasn’t often that we left school for lunch, but I couldn’t take sitting at our lunch table with Tabby. I needed air. Space. I needed an hour outside the confines of the school walls.

I was sick of defending myself to all of my friends. “We met a long time ago, but it doesn’t matter. She’s it for me. That I know for a fact.”

Rob shook his head, chuckling like an asshole. “You haven’t even slept with her, yet somehow you know she’s the one. Whatever.”

“Don’t be a dick. Matt, Amber, everybody else is bad enough. They have it covered, okay?” I slid my shake to the end of the table, suddenly in no mood to drink it.

“Hey, you know I’ve got your back. I always have your back.” He took a long drag off his smoke. “But you’re talking like some thirty-year-old man. Next thing you know, you and Lauren will be running off to Vegas to get hitched. Slow the fuck down. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Noted.”

Rob stubbed his cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe and tossed a few bucks on the table. I threw down a five for my shake and a tip and followed him to his car.

After school, I paced the pier in my lifeguard shorts. My eyes would not stray from the spot I’d first seen Lauren dangling her legs over the side. The same spot where we sat on her last day of spring break. If there was a way to make her appear out of sheer will power, she’d be popping in any second.

I got off at six today, then I had a few lawns to mow for Mr. Tulane. Then I’d talk to Lauren.

Only three more days until I saw her again.

LAUREN

“Mom put you up to this, didn’t she?” I asked Amy as she held a black shirt up by its hanger and grabbed for the dangling price tag.

“Put me up to what?” Her eyebrows rose at the price, and she hung the shirt back on the rack.

“Shopping with me. She wants info. That’s where you come in.”

She let out a sharp laugh. “It’s a school night. Has mom ever encouraged you to go out on a school night?”

That question took absolutely no thought. “No.”

“Then why would she want me to take you shopping tonight? Especially when she has to watch Oriann the Teething Monster from the Black Lagoon?”

She had a point. Oriann was a screaming ball of slobber lately. “Because prom is in two days.”

“Right. The prom you’re going to with Kolton and then spending the night at Kristin’s while he drives all the way back home.” The smirk on her face made it clear how much she believed that plan. “Mom and Dad aren’t stupid, you know. That’s probably my fault since I pulled every trick there was on them when I was your age.”

“I don’t care if they believe it or not. In a few months I’m moving out and they won’t know who I spend my time with.” I picked up a beaded scarf from a display table and wrapped it around my shoulders. Maybe I’d need it for Saturday night.

Amy slipped the scarf off of me.

“So, which school did you choose? Do Mom and Dad know?”

“UVA, and no. Not yet. But I’m not worried about it.”

“They’re going to freak that you haven’t discussed this with them. You know that, right?” One hand hit her hip. She’d gotten her hair died, her nails done and feisty Amy was back.

“How’s Dave? Are you two still split up?”

“Don’t change the subject. Are you rooming with Kristin?”

I turned to the display table, folded the scarf and put it back. “Kristin’s not going to UVA.”

“Let me guess. Kolton is?” She put a hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me to face her.

I spun around. “Yes.” I walked out into the aisle of the department store. I’d thought maybe Amy would be supportive and understanding, but it wasn’t heading that direction.

She fell into step beside me, waving off a counter girl offering to spritz her with perfume. “I’m not going to give you the You’re Too Young Lecture. You’ve always had your eyes on the future, so I know you’ve thought this through. But, have you thought about what happens if it doesn’t work out?”

“It’ll work out.” I wasn’t having this discussion with one more person. It was enough that Kristin was giving me a hard time about it. Amy couldn’t even keep her own marriage together, so who was she to judge my relationship with Kolton?

My phone buzzed with a text. I dug it out of my bag’s front pocket and read Kolton’s note.

119 days until fall session starts. Love u.

I send him a message back.

2 days till prom. I like that countdown better. Love u 2.

“Do you have everything for prom?” Amy asked, eyeing my phone.

I knew she meant protection. Condoms. “Like?”

“Shoes. Jewelry.” She hooked her arm through mine and steered me toward the shoe department.   “I’ll buy you some.”

I turned my head and stared at the side of her face, but she wouldn’t look at me. “Really, Ames?”

She nodded and squeezed my arm. “You know what you’re doing. You always know what you’re doing.”

“Thanks.” I stopped in the middle of the store and hugged her.

LAUREN

Saturday morning, I opened my eyes to a card and a pink rose sitting on my nightstand. I sat up, sniffed the sweet, mild rose and opened the card.

On the front was a little girl in dress up clothes. In the black inside, Mom had written:

Have a lovely time at prom tonight with Kolton. Be smart. Be safe.

I love you,

Mom

Standing in front of my closet, I pulled out the Victoria’s Secret bag and the shoebox holding my new, strappy silver sandals that Amy bought me. I couldn’t believe it was really the day. It was happening. I smiled and closed my eyes as a jolt of excitement shot through my chest.

I could not wait to feel Kolton’s arms around me. To see him in his tux. To dance and laugh and kiss. There was so much more to this night than just
Monopoly
.

Somehow, I’d broken free. Free of my birthmark. Free to make my own decisions. Free of the girl I used to be.

KOLTON

I didn’t sleep last night.

Getting out of bed seemed like a huge chore. I thought about taking a nap and rolled over, pulling up my covers.

A car pulled in the driveway and its horn honked. I got up and looked out my open bedroom window to see Rob stepping out of his car.

“Hey!” He waved.

“What the hell are you doing up so early?”

“Don’t know. Just woke up. Got anything to eat?”

“Yeah. I think we’ve got donuts. And cereal.”

“Screw that. Let’s go get breakfast. Eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes. I need grease and maple syrup.”

It was like normal between us. Maybe I’d imagined the strain I’d felt there all week. “Sounds good to me. I have to get my tux and Lauren’s corsage too.”

“And a box of love gloves.” He laughed and jerked his eyebrows up and down.

“Shut it.” I couldn’t help but laugh though. I was in a good mood; even the term love glove was funny today.

I called off work, and since it was the first time since being a lifeguard I knew my boss wouldn’t be angry.

Rob and I went to Bob Evans and ordered enough food to fill the table. I sent Lauren a text.

Ten hours. I can’t put into words what tonight means to me Lauren. I love you.

“What are you doing? Texting your woman? I love you so much baby,” he mocked, “I can’t wait to rock your world.”

I shot him a dirty look. “Shut up.”

“Chill.” He smeared jelly on his biscuit. “It’s sex, not the atom bomb. It’s not life altering or anything.”

I shrugged. He was right. Sex had never been life altering for me. It’d just been sex. I thought it might be different with Lauren though. I loved Lauren. I’d never done it with someone I’d loved like I loved her before.

“Where are you taking her to dinner?”

“Do you think of anything other than food and sex?” The waitress filled our coffee mugs. “The hotel has a nice restaurant. I made reservations for us there, and we can drop off our bags.”

“
Riiight.
That’s why you made reservations to eat there. You just can’t wait to get up that dress. Gonna go for a little somethin’ somethin’ before prom.”

“Rob. Seriously.”

“All right, all right. I’ll stop.”

We finished eating, paid and left.

“I don’t think the tux place is open yet. Up for some one on one?” I asked before turning out of the parking lot.

He rubbed his protruding stomach and took a puff of his cigarette. “Don’t I look like I’m up for it? Let’s go to my house.”

We played hard. I sweated, letting all of my anxiety seep out my pores. By the time I’d won the game, another hour had passed.

“I’ve got to get going.” I tossed him the ball and tugged my wet shirt over my head. “Got a t-shirt I can borrow? I want to pick up my tux and the corsage on my way home.”

“Sure. Be right back.” He came out of the house and tossed me an ancient Vanilla Ice t-shirt that said
Stop. Collaborate and listen,
on it.

I sighed and tugged it on. “Do you not own a normal t-shirt?” I opened my car door. “Later.”

“Later.” He danced around like Vanilla Ice, singing
Ice Ice Baby
while I backed out of his driveway.

I sat in the driver’s seat and was about to close my door when he shouted, “Have a good time. I mean it. I hope it goes perfectly for you two.”

I smiled and waved. “Thanks.”

I don’t know why I was so nervous. Everything was planned, and with Lauren it didn’t matter if there was a little flaw here or there. It was us that mattered. Us being together. Still, it felt like there was something out of line, something off kilter.

I shook it out of my head. It was just anxiety from doing everything right for her tonight.

LAUREN

When I got out of the shower and finished my home facial that I bought for today, I smiled as my fingers flew over the buttons to read the texts Kolton had sent.

The first read,
Ten hours. I can’t put into words what tonight means to me Lauren. I love you.

The second said,
Picking up my tux and your corsage. 7 hours.

I urgently typed him a text back.
My stomach is quivering like mad. Can’t eat. So excited. Not nervous. It’ll be perfect. I love you.

Kristin and I were going to get our hair styled, so I put on a button up shirt. Fifteen minutes later, I heard her horn honking, and ran outside.

My mom was pulling weeds. “Have fun, baby. Don’t forget to keep some tendrils down on the sides.”

“Okay, Mom.” I rolled my eyes and kept walking, lugging the duffel bag of clothes I was taking with me. Kristin agreed to take me by the hotel so I could leave my bag at the front desk. It would make getting out of the house that much easier tonight.

“Make sure she curls them. You don’t want them to look stringy.”

“Got it.” I scooted into Kristin’s car and shut the door before my mom could say anything else.

I watched Mom as we drove away. She waved, then wiped her face, leaving a smear of dirt slashed across her right cheek from her dirty garden glove.