Lost in the Blinded Blizzard (7 page)

Chapter Twelve: A By-George Happy, Heroic Ending

W
ell, I had somehow managed to dodge another bullet—with a small assist from Madame Moonshine and her phony windbag snake—and now it was time to get back to business.

Madame and I went plunging into the eye of the teeth of the storm, and soon we disappeared behind the curtain of snow. Shortly after the curtain of snow dropped behind us, I began to suspect that I had lost my axles. Bearings.

“Madame,” I yelled over the wind, “which way is west?”

“Just look for the setting sun.”

“The sun isn't setting, and even if it were, we wouldn't be able to see it for all the snow.”

“That's true, and oh dear. It appears that we are lost in the storm.”

“Great.”

“Unless . . .”

“Tell me more about
unless
.”

“Well, I do have these magical sensory powers, but using them requires a great deal of effort. And if I help you find your way back to the ranch house, you won't be able to keep me company throughout the rest of the storm.”

I explained to her just how important this mission was—you know, about the sick baby and so forth.

She sighed. “Very well, I suppose I can try.”

She hopped herself up on my back and directed my nose in what I hoped was the right direction, although it seemed all wrong to me.

I went charging through the snow and wind. The minutes passed. I was getting tired. I'd been out in that terrible storm for several hours, you know, and traveling through that deep snow was beginning to wear me down.

On and on we went, until at last I had to stop and catch my breath. “Madame, I just hit the bot­tom of my breakfast. I don't think I can go another step. I guess we're lost.”

“Yes, and I feel terrible about it. You trusted me, didn't you, Hank?”

“I guess I did, yes.”

“On the other hand, what is that object directly to our right?”

I turned my head and squinted into the snow. “Well, let's see. It looks a little bit like a . . . hmmmm, a yard gate covered with snow.”

“My goodness, a yard gate? If there is a yard gate, then do you suppose there might be a yard to go with it? And where you find a yard, you often find a house nearby.”

All at once the pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fall into place. “By George, Madame, I be­lieve we've found our way back to the . . . Madame? Madame Moonshine?”

She had vanished. One second she had been sitting on my back, and the next, she was gone, and hadn't even bothered to say good-bye, almost as though she had, well, planned it that way.

Hmmm. That was a very strange little owl, but you might say that I didn't take the time to think about it, because right then my most important job was to bark at the house and finish my job.

Using the very last of my energy reserves, I waded through a deep drift and collapsed on the porch. I wasn't sure that I had enough energy to scratch on the door. I mean, I was beat, wiped out.

Exhausted.

On Death's doormat.

Going into convulsions of tiredness.

Frostbitten and snow-blinded and hypothermiated. No ordinary dog could have . . .

“Mmmmmm, hello, Hankie. Been out for a little walk in the snow?”

My ears twitched. Throwing the very last of my energy reserves into the task, I raised one eyelid. And there, curled up in a little ball on the porch, was Pete the Barncat.

He was smirking at me. “I was here first, Hankie, and this is my porch.”

Throwing the very last of my energy reserves into the task, I opened my other eye and staggered to my feet. “Oh yeah?”

“Um-hmm. First come, first served.”

Funny, I was feeling stronger by the second. “Oh yeah?”

“Um-hmmm. And if you don't leave my porch right now, I'll screech and yowl and cry and limp around in circles, and guess who will come outside with her broom.”

“Oh yeah?”

“That's right, Hankie. Sally May will come out with her broom and . . .”

“ROOOOF!”

“REEEEEER!”

I figgered we might as well put Pete's theory to the test. I barked in his face. He hissed and yowled and humped up his back and pinned down his ears, and then, as if by magic, he began limping around, dragging a so-called wounded leg.

The front door flew open. Pete took time out from his acting career to give me a wink and a smile, and then he said, “I told you, Hankie.”

Loper stepped out on the porch. “Holy cow, it's Hank. He made it with the cough syrup!” He came over and, you won't believe this, picked me up and gave me a big hug. “Good boy, Hank, good boy!”

I never would have dared believe that he would take me into the house. I mean, we know that I deserved such treatment, but miracles weren't common on our outfit. But that's exactly what he did.

Oh yes, and the best part came as he was carrying me toward the door. He tripped over the crippled cat, stumbled, yelled some harsh words, and booted old Pete right out into the snow.

Oh, how I loved it! Bravery and devotion to duty hath no greater rewards than to see the cat booted into a snowdrift.

Well, once we got into the house, I became the hero of the hour—of the day, in fact, or even the whole week. Or month.

Heck, the entire year.

Loper took me over to the woodstove and set me down in the place of honor. He stroked my head and scratched me behind the ears, and then he even scratched me on that spot just below my ribs, you know, the spot that's hooked up to my back leg?

I've never understood exactly how and why that deal works, but when they scratch me there, my old back leg goes to kicking. Feels wonderful.

And whilst he was doing that, Sally May came into the room and wrapped me up in a towel. And get this: She dried me off with the towel!

Yes, her nose was wrinkled up and she said something about “cow lot” and “wet dog,” as I recall her words, but by George, the old gal put some elbow grease into that towel-work and got me dried off.

Then they untied the medicine bag from around my neck and Sally May took the bottle back into Molly's room, and by that time Little Alfred had appeared on the scene.

He gave me a big hug and we wrestled around on the living room floor for a while. Then he blew in my face, as he seems to enjoy doing, and I licked him on the mouth.

Sally May walked in on that little exercise and put a stop to it. “Alfred, keep your face away from the dog's mouth! Do you want to get pellagra?”

He said, no, he didn't want to get pellagra, and neither did I, so we quit that game.

Oh, but there were plenty of other games to play. See, because of my heroic actions—and also because Little Alfred made a very effective begging presentation—I was allowed to remain inside the house for the rest of the storm.

Two whole entire days, if you can believe that!

Yes, Sally May insisted that I visit the Great Outdoors once every hour for “fresh air,” as she put it, but that was okay with me.

Hey, me and Alfred played Horse, and Quail Hunt, and Ride the Bull, Hide Under the Bed, Dress-Up in Army Clothes, and my very favorite, Eat Crackers in the Closet.

And best of all, Little Molly got over her cough, and by the next morning, she was laughing and playing with the rest of us.

To preserve the happiness of the happy ending, I won't reveal what Sally May said when she caught us eating crackers in her closet, inside the tent we had made of her Sunday dress.

A guy doesn't have to tell everything he knows.

It was a wonderful blizzard and a happy ending.

Case closed.

Further Reading

Have you read all of Hank's adventures?

1
The Original Adventures of Hank the Cowdog

2
The Further Adventures of Hank the Cowdog

3
It's a Dog's Life

4
Murder in the Middle Pasture

5
Faded Love

6
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

7
The Curse of the Incredible Priceless Corncob

8
The Case of the One-Eyed Killer Stud Horse

9
The Case of the Halloween Ghost

1
0
Every Dog Has His Day

1
1
Lost in the Dark Unchanted Forest

1
2
The Case of the Fiddle-Playing Fox

1
3
The Wounded Buzzard on Christmas Eve

1
4
Hank the Cowdog and Monkey Business

1
5
The Case of the Missing Cat

1
6
Lost in the Blinded Blizzard

1
7
The Case of the Car-Barkaholic Dog

1
8
The Case of the Hooking Bull

1
9
The Case of the Midnight Rustler

20
The Phantom in the Mirror

21
The Case of the Vampire Cat

22
The Case of the Double Bumblebee Sting

23
Moonlight Madness

24
The Case of the Black-Hooded Hangmans

25
The Case of the Swirling Killer Tornado

26
The Case of the Kidnapped Collie

27
The Case of the Night-Stalking Bone Monster

28
The Mopwater Files

29
The Case of the Vampire Vacuum Sweeper

30
The Case of the Haystack Kitties

31
The Case of the Vanishing Fishhook

32
The Garbage Monster from Outer Space

33
The Case of the Measled Cowboy

34
Slim's Good-bye

35
The Case of the Saddle House Robbery

36
The Case of the Raging Rottweiler

37
The Case of the Deadly Ha-Ha Game

38
The Fling

39
The Secret Laundry Monster Files

40
The Case of the Missing Bird Dog

41
The Case of the Shipwrecked Tree

42
The Case of the Burrowing Robot

43
The Case of the Twisted Kitty

44
The Dungeon of Doom

45
The Case of the Falling Sky

46
The Case of the Tricky Trap

47
The Case of the Tender Cheeping Chickies

48
The Case of the Monkey Burglar

49
The Case of the Booby-Trapped Pickup

50
The Case of the Most Ancient Bone

51
The Case of the Blazing Sky

52
The Quest for the Great White Quail

53
Drover's Secret Life

54
The Case of the Dinosaur Birds

55
The Case of the Secret Weapon

56
The Case of the Coyote Invasion

57
The Disappearance of Drover

58
The Case of the Mysterious Voice

59
The Case of the Perfect Dog

60
The Big Question

61
The Case of the Prowling Bear