Lost for You (31 page)

It’s another warm sunny spring day in the South.

I’m sitting on a park bench looking over at Elle. She is just as breathtaking as she was six years ago when I forced myself into her life. Her hair is still a gorgeous deep brown, her porcelain skin is ageless, and that body of hers still cuts me to the quick every time.

She’s standing by the fountain in the waterfront park in Charleston, intently watching over our three year old son. I smile at the joy I see on both their faces as the water starts gushing out, almost getting Elle, and definitely splashing our little boy who is shrieking with delight. Her smile is huge, as it always is whenever she looks at him.

Our lives have been a hell of a lot calmer in the past five years. We could never forget those that we have lost but thanks to the events of that time, I’m closer to Devon and Sylvia than I ever have been. I have Elle to thank for all of that. Her strength and determination along with her belief in family and her unwavering love for me, has brought us all here. And of course, none of us would be here today if it wasn’t for my best friend giving up his life for us.

After we gave our statements to the police, and Shay’s body was wrapped up in the cold black body bag and wheeled away on a gurney, I asked to speak to the officer in charge.

Standing to the side, leaving Devon to hold Elle who was in shock and shaking uncontrollably, I proceeded to tell the detective who I was, who I used to work for, who my father was, and explained in detail everything that Silas told us about the Halliwells’ murders and how Victor Bertorelli had ordered the hit.

Three days later, we got a phone call from the detective advising us that Victor had been arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit murder. Sylvia flew in the next day having seen the news, and never returned to the West Coast.

It went some way to easing the guilt I felt but it took a long time for me to come to terms with Shay’s death. We’d been through so much together; basic training in the Army, our discharge and the sudden decline and death of Roger. Then, he’d helped me try to deal with the overwhelming debts, even coming with me to work for Victor.

Elle quickly made peace with what happened. Don’t get me wrong, there were many nights that we clung to each other, Shay’s loss and my guilt threatening to swallow me whole. But just like how I helped keep Elle’s nightmares at bay, Elle showed me that we could honor Shay in so many other ways. That his death did not need to be in vain. And ultimately, he was now back with his one true love, the woman that captured his heart and saved his life. He put himself between that life ending bullet and the woman I love. The ultimate sacrifice, one that I’ve struggled to come to terms with while also being eternally grateful for.

Elle finished college two years later, just a month before we eloped and a month to the day that we found out that we were expecting our first child.

Our wedding was in a word, a once in a lifetime event. And it doesn’t matter how staunch you think you are, hearing the woman you love devote her life to you, in front of family and friends, will bring any man to his knees. The emotion of the moment consumed us both as we vowed to have and to hold, to death do till us part.

We held the ceremony in Hawaii on a private beach with the softest sand at a beachfront resort. We had both lost so much that we wanted our day to be just for us and our close family. Since we’d never been to Hawaii, we decided to start the rest of our lives together with a new memory. We knew that Shay would be with us wherever we were, even if it was only in spirit.

As part of the ceremony, we set a lantern alight and placed a lei around it before setting it off to sea. The winds picked up then suddenly died down, a sign that he was right there with us. The belief is that when the wind stirs at a wedding, it signifies the presence of family who can’t be with you physically, but continue to surround you with their love, support and blessing. We were both in tears as we set Shay’s memory away from us, knowing that he’d be forever in our hearts.

I get up from the seat and walk over towards my little family, wrapping my arms around my wife’s waist as I lean down and kiss her forehead gently. “You’re glowing, my little minx,” I say with a smirk.

“I’d hope so, babe. You’re the one who’s made me this way,” she says, rubbing the swell of her pregnant belly with her hand.

My eyes follow her hand and I chuckle as I see a sudden jolt beneath her touch, making Elle gasp in delight. “Whoa, she’s feisty this little girl of ours.”

“If she’s anything like her mother, she’s bound to be downright trouble,” I reply, unable to hold back a laugh.

“Watch it, mister. I have no doubt that she’ll have you wrapped around her little finger is no time,” Elle replies.

“If her brother is anything to go by, I don’t doubt it for a minute darlin’,” I murmur against her lips as I steal another tender kiss from my wife. “Bit like their mother in that way.”

“And I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

We’re suddenly interrupted by a tiny voice below us.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at me.” I look down at the brown haired cherub standing in front of us.

“Shay, what are you doing?”

“I is getting wet daddy! Look!” he exclaims as another water spout shoots out of the ground, saturating him.

“Awesome, should we see if we can catch it little man?” I ask, bending down to pick him up, tickling his tummy as I go.

“Stop it, daddy! Stop it!” he laughs, squirming out of my hold to run after another water shot.

I stand back up and turn to Elle. She’s wearing the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, and her whole face is alive with love.

“I love you so much, Mr. James,” she says, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling my head down towards hers.

“Not as much as I love you, Mrs. James” I murmur against her lips, taking a taste of the delicious mouth of hers. “Shit!” I feel a foot kick my stomach from Elle’s.

Elle starts giggling, my second most favourite sound in the whole world behind Shay calling me Daddy. “Told you!”

“Hell, she’s trying to get me away from you already. Little Leah is gonna be trouble, I think.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Elle says, kissing me gently before taking my hand and walking with me over towards our son.

Shay’s background novella
Lost Without You
Will be released February 2014

Long before he moved to New York to protect Elle Halliwell, Shay McCarron felt like a drifter.

Working with his best friend, Brax, he took whatever job he could get to survive until mob boss, Victor Bertorelli, offered them both the opportunity of a lifetime, a life line.

Now working security and close protection for some of Georgia’s richest families, the boys are living the high life. High profile jobs, nights of easy women, and copious alcohol...with their very lucrative, if not slightly illegal occupation, the boys think they’re sitting pretty.

Brenna, the youngest daughter of mob boss, Victor Bertorelli, hates her family’s mob ties, their morals, the whole damn thing. She wants to get as far away from them and the notorious Bertorelli name as she can.

Until the blonde haired, green eyed, guy she meets at an Atlanta bar late one night captures her attention, and her heart.

Unfortunately, it’s the very world they live in that will tear them apart forever.

Get to know the history of the best friend who gave his all in the highly acclaimed Lost series.

Continue reading after the acknowledgements for an excerpt from my new erotic romance book,
Temporary Bliss
, due for release in September 2013.

To everyone To those who listened to me live, breathe, sleep this book series.

To those who read for me, criticized me, helped me, laughed, cried and moaned with me.

To those who took the time to message me telling me they loved the book and wanted the sequel yesterday, those who took the time to review me, share me, and pimp me and my little book.

To the blogs who graciously shared my covers, my teasers, my giveaways and my photo quotes, I would not be anywhere without you. Blogs help make the indie community and I hope that each and every one of you realize how appreciated and loved you are.

This book would not be the same without the following people:
I cherish your friendship, your words, your opinions and your help.

Brenna Weidner Cris Soriaga Hadarly Nikki Sparks

Nikki Groom

Deana Wolstenholme Kate McCarthy Chrissy Zent Sharp Wendy Bree Rex Missy MacKenzie Swain Jennifer Roberts-Hall Kristy Louise Claire Haiek

Christina Lefferts Kim Rinaldi

Josie Melendez &

April Merriman-For naming Silas

I’m on my way home after finishing a shift at the hospital. I’m just getting comfortable and texting Kate, when I drop my phone. Of course, it had to slide down the train away from me. Thankfully, being 8 p.m., the cab isn’t too full. Just as I’m about to get up and search the floor in a desperate last attempt to regain my life,
hey, my phone is my life, don’t judge
, I see him.

As luck would have it, my phone hit a strange man’s black loafer clad foot, and when I look up, I see said man making his way towards me. This man is sex on legs delicious. I totally clocked him when he got on the train at the stop after me. I’m amazed that I’m even coherent enough to notice anyone, given that I’m at the end of an eight hour day shift where I was rushed off my feet. I’m dog tired, but my mind is restless, wired, and you guessed it, horny.

Noah has been on a training course for the week, so there has been no chance of any on-call room hook ups, Sean has been out of town for business for the past few days, and Zander has had back to back bookings all week. It’s just been me, my trusty rabbit who, as luck would have it, has run out of juice, or option number 3, this delectable man who is now walking towards me.

Ding, Ding, Ding! I pick door number 3.

He just doesn’t know it yet.

He’s wearing a granite-colored suit, the jacket hanging over his arm which is carrying a black leather briefcase. His white dress shirt has the sleeves rolled up, and he’s obviously just finished work for the day because his top two buttons are undone, giving a slight glimpse of a tanned and toned chest that you just want to lick. I’m in businessman fantasy heaven, and he is being delivered to me on a plate, or in this case, a rattly, somewhat dirty, Chicago train.

But beggars can’t be choosers.

He’s totally caught me staring at him, his pearly white smile growing on his gorgeous face as he gets closer. I give him a slightly embarrassed, yet cute smile back, knowing that I’ve just been caught checking him out. He holds his hand out to me when he reaches my seat, and being the socially awkward idiot that I am, I put my hand out to shake his, feeling absolutely mortified when I realize that he was just trying to hand my phone back.

“Sorry, is this your phone? It slid down the floor from this direction, and you’re one of the only people on the train without a phone or an e-reader in your hand, so I’m taking a lucky guess,” he says with a sly grin, thankfully not laughing at my social ineptitude.