Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) (4 page)

After I did my best to freshen up in the restroom, Stephanie and I found Josh’s room and tentatively pushed open the heavy door. Josh was in the bed closest to the door, poking at his breakfast, and an elderly man slept in the other bed.

“Hey,” I whispered.

“Hey.” Josh put down his fork. “You don’t have to whisper. He can’t hear even when he’s awake.”

“How are you feeling?” I rubbed his arm.

He pushed away his tray. “Better than last night.”

He still sounded groggy, but he looked more alert. After seeing him unconscious on the ice, I didn’t want to stop staring at his gorgeous eyes.

Stephanie peered at the watery scrambled eggs. “Those look gross.”

“I can’t handle food right now. The doctor said that’s common after a concussion.” Josh looked from me to Stephanie and back again. “Did you come here together?”

“We stayed here all night,” Stephanie said proudly.

“Just you two?”

“Yep, and look…” I twirled around. “No scars.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes.

“Steph, can I talk to Court for a minute?” Josh asked.

She frowned, and he said, “Just for a minute.”

She huffed and took her time leaving the room, and when the door shut Josh grasped my hand.

“I wanted to ask you… I don’t remember what happened with the lift,” he said.

I didn’t want to remember either. If I could permanently erase that memory from my brain, I would be ecstatic.

“We just lost our balance. It all happened so quickly.”

“Thank God you’re okay.” His voice became huskier.

“Only because of you. You held onto me and broke my fall.”

“I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”

I sat on the bed and swallowed hard to stave off the tears. “When you blacked out… I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” Josh massaged my back.

I shook my head. “I don’t want to think about it. I just want to help you heal and feel better.”

“The doctor said I can’t do any strenuous physical or mental activity until I’m symptom-free. So, basically I have to sit around and veg out.”

“I can definitely help with that. We can watch lots of movies and listen to music, and I’ll do whatever you need. I’ll be a great nurse.”

“Do you give sponge baths?” His smile was the biggest I’d seen since the accident.

I laughed. “I’d love to do that, but it would probably lead to a certain strenuous physical activity.”

He hummed softly in agreement. “That’s very true.”

“We should probably let Stephanie back in. I think we had a tiny breakthrough last night, so I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Okay… just one more thing.” His face grew serious, and he locked our fingers together. “I love you… so much… and I promise I’ll be back on the ice with you soon.”

I caressed his cheek and ran my hand down to his chest, stopping on his heart. “I love you, too, and there’s no rush.”

He pulled me close, and I rested my head on his shoulder. My lips brushed his neck with a sweet kiss.

“I’ll wait for you as long as you need.”

Chapter Four

A few raindrops splattered on my nose as I walked through Mrs. Cassar’s garden to the pool house. I knocked and opened the unlocked door, and I called Josh’s name when I didn’t see him.

There weren’t many places he could go in the small space where I wouldn’t spot him. French doors separated the bedroom from the tiny living room/kitchen combination. I went into the bedroom and saw the bathroom was dark, so I took off my jacket and went back to the kitchen. The door opened, and Josh came in carrying a brown paper bag.

“Hey, did you go out?” I asked.

He set the bag on the miniscule counter space. “No, Mrs. Cassar picked up some groceries for me.”

“I could’ve done that for you.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s no bother. I know it sucks not being able to drive.”

He didn’t look up from where he was putting away the groceries, and I realized he hadn’t kissed me hello. He
always
kissed me hello.

“Did you have any headaches today?” I lightly rubbed his back.

“Not so far.”

“I was thinking maybe you could have dinner with me at the restaurant before my shift. You can get a ride home with Mrs. Cassar later.” She always ate there on Thursday nights, so I knew I could count on her.

Josh didn’t say anything; he seemed more interested in the jar of peanut butter he was holding. He hadn’t left his house in the four days we’d been back from Portland, and I thought a quiet Thursday night at the restaurant would be a good place to start. The doctor had prescribed plenty of rest, but he hadn’t said Josh couldn’t go out in public.

“I just thought you might be going stir crazy in here.” I laughed a little to try to lighten what felt like an unsettling mood.

“Yeah… that sounds good,” he said, though not very enthusiastically.

“Great!” I said with enough enthusiasm for both of us.

He looked down at his T-shirt and sweats. “Guess I should change.”

As he walked past me into the bedroom, he stripped off his shirt, and I eyed him every step of the way. From his hard pecs to his rippled abs, there was good reason to swoon. I leaned against the fridge and continued to watch Josh as he stood in front of the closet. I missed the warmth of his body covering mine and the feel of his corded muscles under my palms. But his recovery was most important, and we’d have lots of time to make up for the lost nights. I shivered just thinking how good making up was going to be.

Josh chose a blue button-down shirt and jeans and went into the bathroom, so my show was over. I hoped getting him out of the house might make him feel more normal. Sitting around all day had to be depressing for someone who was used to a full schedule of activity. He obviously couldn’t skate, and he’d also had to cancel his students’ piano lessons. Per the doctor’s orders, all he’d been able to do was watch TV, listen to music, and do light reading. Em and Sergei had handled most of the media requests, so Josh had only needed to do a few phone interviews about the accident.

He came out in his new set of clothes, and the sweet, sexy scent of his cologne teased my nose. I put my arms around his waist and tilted my head to look up at him.

“You’re the hottest date a girl could ask for,” I said.

His lips barely curled into a smile, and he gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze before scooting toward his jacket. “A truly hot date would be able to drive his own car.”

Was that what was bothering him? Being dependent on me?

“You’ll be back behind the wheel soon. The doctor will probably clear you when you see him next week.”

“Hope so,” he mumbled as he zipped up his jacket.

I slowly put on my own and searched my purse for my keys. On the ride to the restaurant, I got Josh talking more when I asked him which movie he’d watched that day. He described the plot of
The Blind Side
, and we were still discussing it when we entered the dining room. Opening wasn’t for another hour, so only a few employees were there, my friend Meredith being one of them. She saw us and gave Josh a hug, which he stiffly returned.

“Welcome back,” she said.

“I’m just here for dinner.”

“You’re lucky Ronnie’s not here or he’d try to put you to work.”

Josh shoved his hands in his pockets. “Soon.”

The restaurant’s chef cooked for the staff before the dinner shift, and that night he’d made shrimp pasta. Josh and I took our plates and sat at a table by the large windows. The view of Nantucket Sound was hidden by streaks of rain on the glass.

I twirled the vermicelli around my fork and tried to think of something to break the silence that had set in. “I’m guessing your family isn’t flying out for Thanksgiving?”

“I doubt it.”

“Well, my mom will love having you over for dinner. She makes enough food to feed an army even though we’re a family of three.”

Josh stabbed a shrimp with his fork. “The most I’ve ever seen my mom do in the kitchen is open a take-out container.”

“So she never helped Stephanie make her vegan meals?”

He shook his head as he chewed. “When Steph became a vegan a few years ago, my mom wasn’t exactly supportive. She told her if she wanted to be skinnier, she should go on a diet.”

“Sadly, that doesn’t surprise me at all,” I said as I lifted my glass of water to my lips.

I noticed Josh had been glancing behind me while we talked, so I turned and found the likely center of his attention — the piano.

“It would probably be okay for you to play a little.” I pointed my thumb at the baby grand. “You’ve been getting a lot of rest. You could play something easy like… I don’t know… ‘Over the Rainbow?’”

I gave him a coy smile. It was tradition that Josh played the song, one of my favorites, every Thursday night.

“Why would I play that?” His brow furrowed.

A cold chill raced down my spine.
Oh my God. He doesn’t remember.

“You… you don’t…” I sputtered quietly.

His face cracked into a sly grin. “You thought I had amnesia.”

I gaped at him and shoved his leg with my foot under the table. “Don’t joke about stuff like that!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He held up his hands.

I supposed I should be thankful he was joking around. Maybe that meant he was feeling more like himself. Playing the piano would only help that even more.

“Now that you’re done scaring the crap out of me, are you gonna play my song or what?” I said.

He wiped his mouth on his napkin and pushed back his chair. I followed him over to the piano and stood beside it as he sat on the bench. He cracked his knuckles and gazed at the keys for a minute before setting his fingers on them. But he still didn’t play. He picked up his hands and shifted them, continuing to stare at the keys. A tiny vee had formed above his nose.

Is he messing with me again?

He pulled his hands back but kept his eyes on the piano. “I can’t… I can’t remember it.”

The dazed look on his face told me he wasn’t kidding. Was this normal after a concussion? I’d read about short-term memory issues, but Josh hadn’t shown signs of any type of memory loss so far.

“Maybe you just need help getting started. The sheet music is in the bench—”

“I don’t need the sheet music,” he barked. “I’ve played this song fifty thousand times.”

I took a step back from the piano. Josh never raised his voice to me. He never raised his voice to anyone except his mom and sister when they were being ugly to me. I didn’t know how to respond, so I went with a calm approach, which I thought might help.

“Do you want to try another song?” I asked.

He raked his fingers roughly through his hair. “I’m looking at the keys, and I don’t even know where to start.”

My heart rate had become elevated with worry, but I didn’t want Josh to know this was freaking me out, too. I had to be the voice of reason because he was in full-blown panic mode.

“You probably just need a little more time. You’re still recovering.” I tentatively approached him and put my hand on his arm. “Let’s go finish our dinner.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” he said.

If I’d thought he looked down before, it was nothing compared to how glum he looked now. I moved behind him and circled my arms around his shoulders, giving him a warm hug, and I leaned over so we were cheek to cheek.

“This is just temporary,” I said softly.

It has to be, right?

He didn’t appear to be getting up from his spot, so I slowly pulled away and went back to the table to clear our dishes. I’d lost my appetite, too.

When I returned from the kitchen, Josh had taken his usual seat at the long bar. At least one thing had gone back to normal. I tied a black apron over my black pants and got to work behind the bar, preparing it for the dinner crowd.

I kept a close eye on Josh as I worked. He still looked pretty dazed as he sipped his water. I was glad when the doors opened for business and Mrs. Cassar arrived shortly after. Her sense of humor could bring anyone out of a funk.

She left her umbrella by the door and perched on the stool next to Josh’s. I snatched the bottle of merlot and had Mrs. Cassar’s glass filled before she got settled.

“Thank you, Dear,” she said and gave Josh a long look. “Are you feeling okay? You look pale.”

He rested his arms on the bar and pinched the bridge of his nose. “My brain’s not feeling so hot.”

Mrs. Cassar’s gray eyes swung to me with alarm, and I said, “He tried to play the piano and had some trouble remembering.”

“I couldn’t remember
anything
,” he corrected.

“Well, Joshua, you bashed your head on a block of ice. Of course things will be muddled up there.” She patted his back. “Give it time. You’re going to be just fine.”

Meredith placed her small tray on the bar. “Court, can I get a vodka tonic?”

I lingered a moment before gathering the bottles I needed for the drink. I stayed busy the next hour, so I only caught bits of Josh and Mrs. Cassar’s conversation. I didn’t hear much of the standard laughter. When Mrs. Cassar went to the ladies’ room, I refilled Josh’s water and included a smile. He looked up at me, his eyes filled with uneasiness.

“What if I forgot how to skate?” he asked.

“You haven’t. You’ve been doing it for too many years—”

I stopped when I realized he’d been playing the piano just as long. But skating was more physical. His muscle memory would trump his mental memory, wouldn’t it?

“I don’t think you should worry about that,” I said quickly.

“Josh!” our boss Ronnie bellowed as he came out of the kitchen. “You said you wouldn’t be here.”

“I just came for dinner. I’m about to head out.”

“Stay and play a few songs. We need some life in here tonight.”

I cringed on the inside as I waited for Josh’s response. He gripped his glass tighter and kept his head down.

“I… I can’t,” he said.

“Come on, just thirty minutes. I know you—”

“I said I can’t!” Josh jumped up from his stool and stormed out the door.