Losing Nuka (Litmus Book 1) (31 page)

“You couldn’t do all those things, Dec. We’re too close, we know each other inside and out. I needed to distance myself so I could find my true self. Brett was just there to help.”

“I kind of hate that he’s a good guy. It’d be so much easier to hate him if he was a dick.”

I laugh. “Did you really punch him? I mean …
really
? He’s a professional fighter—are you crazy?”

He laughs. “I must be. I’m letting my best friend risk her life for a stupid underground fight club bust. It just doesn’t seem worth it to me.”

I pull him up as I stand, taking him into my arms for the last time.

***

Going over the options with Sasha back at the house, I’m shocked to find her pumped for the idea of staying. Brett and
Kyle
seem surprised too.

“Really?” I ask.

“I want to bring those fu—buttheads down,” she says, refraining from cussing.

I glance at Kyle and then back at Sasha. “Please, you can swear in front of him. He’s heard a lot worse come out of my mouth.”

“It’s true. She’s been swearing like a drunk bogan since she was twelve,” Kyle says.

“And who was the grown-up teaching me all the bad words?” I exclaim.

“Yeah, yeah, back to the case at hand, hey?”

“I’ve lived with Jonas since I was ten years old,” Sasha says. “Him and his bastard rich friends found it appropriate to grope my ass from when I was fourteen years old, so yeah, I want to do this.”

“You don’t want to run?” Brett asks.

“As much as I’ve fantasized about it, I didn’t have high hopes for the plan to begin with. Nuka’s aunt’s right. Jonas
will
come after us. I’m pretty sure he sent someone after Brett. If we truly want to get away, we have to stay.”

“So this is going to be our lives now?” I ask.

“We’re going to get ‘em,” Kyle says reassuringly.

“What do we do until then?”

Brett wraps his arms around me. “You mean apart from act like the shining celebrity couple for our adoring fans, fight, kick butt, and—”

Sasha puts her hand up, stopping him from talking. “If you’re going to say something lame like ‘make love,’ I’m going to puke. Like right now.”

Brett laughs. “I wasn’t. I was going to say we try to get out of here as soon as we can, but”—he looks at me—“she doesn’t have the worst idea.” He smirks.

I smile up at him and he lands a kiss on my lips.

Kyle clears his throat.

Sasha groans. “Ugh, I’m so not team Bruka.”

-26-

FOUR YEARS LATER

“Three years, three-hundred-forty-two days to go,” Brett whispers in my ear.

Rolling over in bed to face him, I run my hand up his chest, wrapping it around his neck. “It sounds so long when you put it like that,” I whine.

I love waking up to his hopeful face every morning, but every morning it’s the same, and every morning’s a struggle to keep positive like him.

“Sooner if they can nail these guys,” he says, kissing me on the nose. “We can find a place to live, get married, start a family of our own.”

I tense under him at his words but hope he doesn’t notice.

The rejection is obvious when he pulls away, sitting up in bed and running his hands through his hair.

“It’s not that I don’t want those things. You know I do,” I say, sitting up and wrapping my arm around him from behind with my chin resting on his shoulder.

He nods his head but still doesn’t turn to face me. “I know, Nuke. It’s hard for you to think about our future when it’s still so far away.”

We’ve been at this game for a little over four years. We’re halfway through our contract, and Kyle doesn’t seem any closer to bringing this place down.

“It wasn’t supposed to take this long,” Brett says.

“I know. Things are probably just more complicated than we realise.”

Kyle doesn’t talk to us about the case, and if I’m completely honest, I don’t want him to. I know more agents have managed to infiltrate a few of the teams, but we’ve all agreed it’s best if I don’t know who they are. I haven’t recognised any one new as Lia’s colleagues, but I’ve also told myself not to look too hard. I’d probably act different around them, and it’s easier for me to face everyone if I don’t know what they’re up to.

Since finding out what really goes on, I’ve noticed things. Things I don’t want to see—drugs passing hands and way too wasted girls being held up by a couple of guys who have a glint of anticipation in their eyes. At first I got Litmus security onto them, but all they’d do is kick them out, ultimately bringing the girl’s fate forwards an hour or two. I’ve tried cornering the girls in the bathroom, but some have insisted they want it, that they’re “on the job” and are getting paid to act wasted to make their client’s sick fantasy more realistic. But others have been innocents. Drugged and confused, they often don’t know where they are. Sasha and I have saved a few girls by sneaking them out back to the infirmary to sleep off the drugs in safety, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

Cade and Jonas have loosened the tight leashes a little with us, but we’re still very much watched twenty-four-seven. Particularly me and Brett. Sasha has a bit more freedom than us, but she’s still always guarded when she goes out. Byron signed on as one of our full-time guards, and we still have randoms watching over us too. Logan got out as soon as he could, not wanting to end up like Drake. Pretty smart on his behalf.

“Ready for your fight tonight? It’s been a while since you’ve done a Wild Card night, hasn’t it?” Brett asks. I’m thankful for the subject change.

“A few months.”

The Heatwave brand is one of the best. I’m right up there with Ryker, Brett … and Brayden. Ugh.

He’s still the biggest ass on the planet. Ever since Brett called his bluff and turned the threat of cheating around on him, his attitude has gotten worse. But we’re secure in the knowledge he’ll never tell, because it will only incriminate himself.

He’s beaten me every time in the ring, but I can hold my own against him. He’s never knocked me out, but he’s come close a couple of times. I’ve only came close to beating him once.

Since my raging comeback with a knockout four years ago, I’ve been undefeated on Wild Card nights. Since that fight, I’ve been fighting with the big guns, and Wild Card nights have gone back into rotation between the others.

The transition was pretty smooth, although it took a good two months before I had an actual win. Flynn was my first, and I still revel in that fact. I think Sasha’s hurt motivated me to do well. Once I had the confidence and knowledge that I
could
win, I found winning came easier and the glory is addictive.

Wild card nights are fun, but I now understand what the others mean when they say you get over them. There’s no challenge in them. Tonight won’t be any different.

***

Sasha, Brett, and I walk into the Deakin locker room to find Gabby straddling Ryker on the bench seats.

“Guys … I mean, really?” I complain.

Gabby laughs, removing herself from Ryker’s lap. “We have something to tell you all,” she says, her smile practically blinding me.

“I …” Ryker stutters. “I asked her to marry me.”

Sasha’s face lights up as she runs over to Gabby, throwing her arms around her.

I, on the other hand, look at Brett. His jaw’s set, and he has a fake smile plastered on his face. I know exactly what he’s thinking.
It should be us.

I hug Ryker and then Gabby, congratulating them both with enough enthusiasm as I can muster, just hoping I pull it off. Then I pull Brett away, leading him back into the corridor outside the locker room.

“I love you, you know that, right?” I say.

“Of course, I do, Nuke.”

“I promise. As soon as we get out of this mess, it’ll be you, me, my insane family, and Paddy, all gathered to join you and me in wedded bliss … or some crap like that.”

He narrows his eyes. “Did you just propose to me using the word ‘crap’?”

I laugh. “I think I did, yeah.” I didn’t mean it to come out like a proposal, I kind of just blurted it out, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want that life with him. One day.

He kisses me a sweet lingering kiss that makes my lips tingle and my heart dance. “I never meant for you to propose or promise to marry me right away … I just … I needed to know that you think about that stuff. The future,
our
future.”

“It’s basically
all
I think about.”

He runs his hand through his hair, taking a step back from me and letting out a loud sigh.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“I overheard Kyle on the phone the other day. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and then he made me promise not to say anything … but I can’t keep this kind of secret from you.”

A lump forms in my throat and I can’t seem to swallow it down. “What is it?”

“It’s Declan. He’s—”

“Oh my God, is he okay? What happened?” My heartrate skyrockets in panic.

He laughs a little, touching his hands to my shoulders. “Calm down, he’s fine. He’s good. He’s actually getting married. In a few weeks, I believe.”

My stomach sinks a little, but my heart starts beating at a normal pace again. “You gave me a heart attack. I thought you were going to say he was dead or something.”

He pulls his head back, assessing me. “You’re not … upset?”

“Why would I be upset?”

Okay, maybe I am a little bit. But not for the reasons he’s thinking. I want to be there, I want to see my best friend get married, but I can’t. Because I’m still trapped
here
.

Brett shrugs as his eyes fill with uncertainty.

“All I want is for him to be as happy as I am with you. I miss him like crazy, but not like …
that
.” My voice drops low to a whisper, “I haven’t thought about him like that in a long time.”

He steps forwards, wrapping his arms around me and bringing his lips to mine.

Mere seconds later, and way too soon for my liking, he’s pulling away from me. “Company.”

Colton walks up behind me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Ready?”

“Almost. Hey, you know about the party going on in there?” I nod to the locker room. “Ryker has an announcement.”

“He actually did it? I swore he was going to chicken out,” Colton says with a grin. “Better get in there and congratulate him.” He goes inside and as soon as the door closes, Brett’s kissing me again, holding me tight, and reminding me why I chose to be his.

“I love you,” he says, pulling back the tiniest bit. “Come on, you’ve got a fight to get to.”

***

As I take to the arena for the second time this week, I drown out the hooting and hollering around me. I’ve learnt to tune it out over the years … well, that, and I think I’m partially deaf from so many blows to the head over time.

Brett stands off to the side of the arena, just like he does on all my fight nights. I can’t imagine my life without him by my side. His support is what’s getting me through Litmus life.

I’m still tender from my fight a few nights ago with Steve. He traded to Reid team about two years ago. He’s probably one of my favourite opponents to fight. Right now I’m a few wins up on him, but it’s a long running tally that has gone back and forth for a while now. I love that guy, but I will own that bastard one day.

Ryker remains faithfully by our side at Deakin, along with Colton. But we’ve gone through fifths a few times now. Since Palmer up and left, we’ve been looking to fill his spot, but no one seems to fit with the rest of us, and they’ve all been pretty crappy fighters. Plus, they haven’t been desperate enough to sign over their lives for a few years, and that’s what Jonas and Cade want—full control over their fighters. I think we’ve given up on the idea of a fifth now.

Palmer fell in love with a boy who comes from money. Clarke basically bought Palmer’s way out. Palmer didn’t owe Jonas and Cade anything, he was smart with his money, but they still made him pay an early exit fee—an exorbitant amount none of us would be able to afford.

Nodding to Felix as I take to the stage, I look out over the crowd, wondering which person I’ll be fighting tonight. Sasha should be in there somewhere, taking money, placing bets. It’s a step up from working the bar; plus with all her on-the-spot mathematical genius, she’s great at making Jonas more money than any other bookie has.

Over the last four years, she’s dated a couple of Litmus security guards and a barman, but she has a strict
no fighters
rule since Flynn. None of her boyfriends have ever gotten serious, and she doesn’t seem like she’s in a rush to settle down. She’s only twenty, so there’s definitely no need for that anyway. She’ll find someone … someday. I just hope he has a heart as big as hers. Someone I could look to as a brother.

And then I see him walking to the stage; my
actual
brother,
William.
His face is aghast, and I’m pretty sure he has no idea what’s going on, why I’m here, or if he realises the fact he’s just volunteered to fight me.

In my head I’m screaming at him to run. I’m yelling at him for even being here. I haven’t seen him for almost …
shit
… has it really been seven years since I moved out of home? He was fifteen the last time I saw him which was about four or five years ago.

It’s definitely him. Just … a grown-up him.

Felix holds Will back as he reaches the stage, whispering something in his ear—I assume he’s telling him to stay back from me until the fight starts.

This can’t be happening. He can’t be here. My heart thunders in my chest.

What the hell am I going to do?

There’s only one thing I can do. I have to kick his ass so he never comes back.

Approaching him, I leave my expression as blank as I can manage. I don’t give any sign that I’ve recognised him. No one can find out who he is.

I motion to Felix to get this show on the road. As I get closer to the middle of the ring, I speak loudly into Felix’s microphone.

“Come on, little boy. Show us what you’ve got.”