Lose Yourself (The Desires Unlocked Trilogy Part Two) (33 page)

The day before they plan to leave Sorrento,
Valentina and Theo take a ferry to the island of Capri. Not even when they first got together in Milan had she seen Theo so buoyant. She guesses he is relieved that his days as an art thief – or ‘art retriever’, as he would call himself – are over. His family has finally made amends. He is free from all obligations to the past.

They sit on the deck of the ferry and talk about their wedding plans. Venice is the perfect location – just the two of them. Theo wants to take her to America to meet his parents. She finds herself agreeing, almost excited at the prospect of being introduced to them now. She looks forward to hearing stories about her lover when he was a little boy, of seeing pictures and being taken to all the places he knew as a child. She wants to get to know New York, like he knows Milan. She even considers mentioning the possibility of visiting her mother, and Mattia.

As soon as the ferry docks in Capri, Theo leads her to a huddle of boats on the quays, all advertising trips to see the famous blue grotto.

‘Shall we go?’ he asks her. ‘It’s supposed to be stunning.’

‘Sure,’ she says, although, for some reason, she is feeling reluctant.

They sit on the small fishing vessel as it chugs around the island of Capri. Their skipper shows them the ledge where Emperor Tiberius would hurl his enemies into the ocean. He brings them through the opening in Lovers’ Rock, instructing them to kiss as, if they do so, they will be together forever. Theo and Valentino need no encouragement. They wrap themselves around each other. Their kiss is so lingering that eventually the skipper has to call over to them to tell them that the Lovers’ Rock is long past.

Valentina and Theo sit side by side in perfect silence, listening to the boat cresting the waves and looking out at the open blue of the sea. She imagines she sees herself dancing upon the water, spinning in the hazy light. It makes her think of her grandmother, Maria. She really wishes she had known her – even as a child. She had always believed that Maria was different from the rest of them – from her mother, her great-grandmother, Belle, and herself – but now, with the revelation of the old movies, it seems that Maria had been as much a free spirit as any of them. Yet why did she deny who she was? Why never dance again? It fills Valentina with such a deep sadness that Maria lived the rest of her life without being who she really was. She promises herself that marriage will not change her essence, that her love with Theo will only strengthen her sense of self, for she has, after all, found a man who knows her through and through, all her flaws and all her heart.

The boat grinds to a halt. The engines are cut as it bobs upon the sea. They are told that they can row to the blue grotto from here. The skipper offers to take them in the little rowing boat but, with a wink and a nudge, Theo gets him to agree to let them row out alone. Valentina clambers down into the little boat and sits in the bow, and Theo rows them back in towards the island.

‘Apparently, the seabed is so white that it reflects the colour of the sea on to the ceiling of the grotto,’ Theo tells her. ‘It is supposed to be the purest blue you have ever seen.’

They reach the grotto, but the entrance is so low that they both have to lie down in the boat as Theo pushes them inside. They remain lying in the bottom of the boat, looking at the walls of the grotto. Theo had not been exaggerating. They are enveloped in blue – a Virgin Mary blue, the blue of hope. It sings to her soul and, when she turns on her side and looks into the face of her love, she sees he has the same colour blue eyes. With no words, they speak to each other in the language of their bodies:

I love you with all my heart and soul.

I love you always.

The sea rocks them gently inside their grotto sanctuary. She closes her eyes and imagines that they are making love at the bottom of sea, entwined like swirling seaweed, the seeds from his loins filling her like luminescent pearls inside her belly. She finds herself wishing for their child. They roll on the bottom of the boat, and now he is above her, framed against the ceiling of the blue grotto, and pushing deep within her. They roll again and she is above him. She pulls away from him and turns around, lying with her back pressed against his firm belly. She raises her back, her knees, and guides him into her, her hands pressed into his as she lifts herself up, her head tipped back and her eyes closed. Their foreheads touch, as if they are blessing each other. He lifts himself into her and they writhe together in unity, the boat rocking on the water, intensifying their union further. He is so deep within her, and she feels her power and strength as she brings him into her. She wants to hold him forever. He is her heart. She cries out, confident that no one can hear them. They are buried deep within the blue grotto as they climax together, and she falls back down upon him, melting into his body, as if they are one.

Afterwards, she sits within his embrace, the water lapping at the sides of the boat, the two of them looking out through the tiny entrance of the grotto, out at the endless breadth of the Mediterranean Sea. There is no need to speak. The moment is perfect, their joy complete.

Just as they are about to push the boat back out of the grotto, Valentina sees another rowing boat outside, about to enter.

‘Wait!’ Theo calls out to the boat. ‘We have to come out first.’

The person in the boat is either stupid or deaf, because it continues to slide through the tiny entrance, its occupant unseen, obviously prostrate in the bottom of it. The two boats knock together and Valentina’s mouth goes dry in horror, her fists clenching, as she sees the occupant of the other boat is Glen.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Theo speaks first.

‘You wouldn’t return my phone calls, and it was obvious that the pretty lady either didn’t pass on my message or you both decided to ignore it. Very unwise,’ Glen says, sitting up.

‘Glen, I am sick of this,’ Theo tells him. ‘It’s over, right? I told you. The Masson was the last picture. I am never going to get in your way again.’

Glen stands up in his boat, pointing his finger at Valentina. ‘And I told her that that was not good enough for me. You owe me a lot of money, Theo. And I want some kind of compensation. I want the picture.’

‘It’s too late. Ricardo Borghetti already has it. I gave it to him yesterday.’

Glen looks furious.

Valentina doesn’t like this – the two boats bashing against each other in the little blue grotto. She is beginning to feel claustrophobic. ‘Let’s go,’ she whispers to Theo.

‘Get out of our way,’ Theo barks at Glen. He propels their boat forward aggressively. As it dashes against Glen’s boat, it causes the other man, who is still standing, to stumble and fall backwards into the water. ‘Shit!’ Theo exclaims, pivoting their boat around and leaning over the edge so that he can help Glen. ‘Take my hand,’ he says to him.

However, instead of taking his proffered hand, Glen swims around to Valentina’s side of the boat. For an instant, he looks right into her. She sees the menace in his eyes, the hatred that comes with the jilted, and she tries to push him away. Yet he has a hold of her, and he pulls her over the side of the boat and into the water.

How surprisingly deep the sea is in the grotto! He pulls her down and down. It feels as if his arms and legs are the tentacles of an octopus. He has her in a death grip. She struggles to free herself, but it seems that Glen is so intent on drowning her that he doesn’t even care about his own life. She tries to speak, water rushing into her mouth, making it worse. She desperately needs to call out for her man.

Suddenly, she is released. She sees Theo in the water with them, pulling Glen away from her. He is calling to her in the watery depths. She knows he is telling her to swim. A force outside of her – could it be his love? – is pushing her skywards, and she emerges spluttering, bobbing beneath the roof of the blue grotto. She pulls herself up into the little rowing boat, shivering, despite the fact it isn’t cold. She peers over the edge into the water and, as she does so, both Glen and Theo come to the surface, water spraying everywhere.

The two men climb into the other rowing boat, coughing up water, unable either to speak or fight.

She sits, frozen with dread, in the second boat.

Finally, Theo manages to catch his breath. ‘Valentina,’ he orders her, ‘go back to the fishing boat and wait for me there. Glen and I will follow.’

‘No,’ she says. ‘I don’t want you to stay with him.’

Glen is still coughing up water; his face is red, his blue eyes bloodshot, his chest heaving.

‘Look at him,’ Theo says. ‘He’s done in. Go. NOW!’ he commands her.

Yet her instincts tell her not to leave him. ‘Promise me you’ll be right behind me,’ she begs him.

‘I promise, Valentina.’

She looks long and hard at Theo, then over at Glen, who is still in a heap on the floor of the boat. She supposes he needs to go to hospital – and then what? Will they charge him with assault? She looks back at Theo.

He nods at her. His blue grotto eyes making her trust him. ‘Go on, Valentina,’ he says, softly. ‘I won’t let you down.’

Reluctantly, she picks up the oars of her boat and uses one of them to guide her out of the grotto, lying back as she does so. Out on the open sea, she rows as fast as she can back to the small fishing vessel. The skipper helps her aboard, asking her where her husband is.

‘He is just coming,’ she tells him. ‘There’s another man and he fell in the sea.’

‘As did you?’ the sailor asks her, handing her a towel, which she wraps around herself.

They wait patiently. She stands in the prow of the boat, like a sentinel. She stares at the entrance to the blue grotto, but the two men never come out.

In the end, the skipper of her boat rows her back out to see what is taking so long. Yet, when they enter the grotto, neither Theo nor Glen is anywhere to be seen. Glen’s boat is still there – empty. She hunts the clear water. She can see right down to the pristine white seabed. She can see nothing. She tries to shake this terrible moment from her head. It has to be a bad dream. But, when she pinches herself, her nails draw blood. The men are gone. It seems impossible. They can’t just have disappeared, and yet it is undeniable. The blue grotto is empty of life and she has lost Theo again, maybe this time forever.