Los Perdidos: The Novel (Sons of Glory Motorcycle Club Romance) (10 page)

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your business with the club,” I gulped out. “I just didn’t know what else to do…”

“Baby, stop apologizing,” Smoke murmured, his voice thick. “I’m glad you called me. Club business or no club business.”

“But, we’re not together. I shouldn’t have assumed…”

“Who says we’re not together?” he replied softly, raising my face to his. He stroked my hair softly, running his fingers through my red tresses as he pressed his lips against mine again. His tongue probed softly, more gentle than he had ever been with me, and I opened to him, answering his question with my response. The hand that had been twined in my hair cupped the back of my head, bringing me closer as the kiss deepened. His other hand encircled me, drawing my body against his. Our chests came together, hard against soft, and my nipples tautened as they brushed against his shirt.

My body, already so attuned to him, opened like a flower as I grew wet and hot between my legs. I gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, wanting all of him at once. He pushed me back on the bed and lowered himself onto me, as I opened my thighs to welcome his hardness. As our bodies connected, I moaned against his mouth and squirmed to feel his length press against my swollen folds. My hands went around his back to his firm, muscled ass, squeezing it as I writhed against him. The pleasure of being next to his gorgeous hardness was delicious and infuriating at the same time. I had to have more of him, now.

“Smoke,” I whispered. “Take me.”

He rose from me and peeled off his T-shirt, and I lifted my arms so that he could do the same to mine. With a shift of his weight, he was off the bed, pulling off his jeans as he watched me squirm out of mine as quickly as I could manage it. Then he was back on the bed, spreading my legs open with his knees and kneeling between them. “These have to go,” he growled, ripping the fabric of my panties apart with his hands and tossing the now-worthless swatch of material onto the floor. Then he pulled me forward until my wet, waiting sex was brushing against his hardness. He reached down to cup my breasts, thumbing the nipples as I writhed and arched my back toward him. I felt the tension build inside me as I frantically moved against his cock, desperate for the release that only he could give me. He bent his head downward, replacing his thumbs with his mouth, and began to softly bite and tongue each nipple. I moaned loudly, reaching down to grab his hips and try to maneuver his massive cock inside me. He moved to give me what I needed, pressing the head of his shaft against my dripping sex. I gasped in pleasure as I felt the first inches of him enter me. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around him, pulling him in closer and attempting to get all of him inside me at once. In response, his mouth moved up to my lips, which opened wide to his waiting tongue.

Thrusting and changing his angle slightly, he pushed further inside me, and then our hips began to move together in an exquisite dance of need and desire. My whimpers turned to cries as he moved inside me, growing inside my channel with each thrust. My arms went around his neck for leverage, my feet locking behind his back. He fucked me slowly, thoroughly, our voices mingling in incoherent outbursts of pleasure. I angled my hips back slightly, loving the feel of his sliding shaft against my wet pussy, and he took me higher and higher on a wave of lust, until I felt my inner walls clench against him, and suddenly I was exploding around him, calling his name as I came in wave after wave. From far away, I heard him groan loudly and then felt his release as he came inside me. As I began to float back to earth, I heard him whispering my name and felt him stroking my hair. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him to keep him inside me as I drifted off to sleep.

“Baby… Baby, wake up… Shhhhhh..... it’s okay…”

Smoke’s voice came to me as I jolted awake from a nightmare. It had been almost a week since the Liana episode, and I had been plagued by bad dreams almost every night since. My eyes were wide as I scanned for imaginary intruders in Smoke’s bedroom, which was bathed in the soft, surreal light of early morning. This time, I had been having a dream about being held at gunpoint. Or was that real? My brain struggled to emerge from the blackness. No, I remembered, it wasn’t real. In the dream, I had been tied up and gagged, held hostage in a huge, empty warehouse. The gun pointed at me was not Liana’s but a huge semiautomatic, pointed at me by a large man in the cut of a rival MC.

I gasped and fought back tears of relief as I slumped against Smoke’s warm body. He stroked my hair and continued to murmur soothing words. “What happened, darlin’?” he asked.

“Bad dream,” I choked. “Someone from the Iron Alliance had me… he was going to kill me… or worse…” My voice broke as I turned my face into his chest.

“The thing with Liana really got to you, didn’t it, baby girl? Don’t worry, honey, no one’s gonna come around to bother you again. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”

“It’s not just Liana. It’s…” I struggled with how to finish my sentence, but the words wouldn’t come. “Besides, how can you promise I’ll be safe?” I asked pointedly. “You can’t be with me twenty-four seven.”

“That’s true. But I will always come for you. Believe that.” Smoke’s expression was intense as he looked into my eyes. “Do you?”

“Yes,” I breathed. And I did.
But would he always come for me in time?

He kissed me on the forehead. “Listen, I want to show you something. Have you ever shot a gun?” he asked.

I frowned. “Yeah, a few times. My dad took me to the gun range a few times when I was younger. Said it was a good idea for anyone to have a basic knowledge.”

“Good. Your dad was right,” Smoke said. “You and I are going to go out and do some target shooting one of these days real soon. But in the meantime,” he continued, leaning over to open a drawer of his nightstand, “I want you to know where this is.” He pulled out a handgun and hefted it in his hand, then handed it to me. “Careful. It’s loaded. This is a Glock 19. It’s a little heavy for you, but it will blow the head off of any son of a bitch who comes at you.”

I held the weight of the cold, black steel in my hands for a moment, then handed the gun back to him with distaste. Revulsion filled me; I couldn’t imagine ever having to use this against someone. “Okay, now I feel even more in danger than I did before. So, you’re basically telling me I need to be able to defend myself, which basically means there will be people to defend myself against. Don’t you think I at least ought to know who is going to be coming after me?”

“Don’t worry, darlin’, you’re not in any danger,” Smoke said, his tone soothing.

“How am I supposed to believe that?” I retorted, my frustration evident in my tone. “You say everything is fine, but you keep me in the dark so I can’t judge for myself. You don’t tell me what’s up with club business, and I have to assume that’s because there are things happening in the club that put me at risk. How am I not to think I’m in danger when you break up with me if I dare to ask what’s going on?”

“What?” he laughed in disbelief. “I didn’t break up with you. I got mad, yeah, and maybe I said some things I didn’t mean. But darlin’, you gotta understand that if you’re gonna be with me, there are some things that it’s better you don’t know about. Old ladies aren’t involved in club business. That’s just the way it is, and there’s good reasons for that. To keep you safe.”

Smoke shifted his weight under me and wrapped his strong arms more tightly around my body. “This thing with Liana… She’s someone I never should have been with in the first place. But you know, I was young, and it took me way too long to see the light. I swear to you, she has been handled. She will never hurt you again if she values her life. And no one else will, either. I’ll protect you. I promise.”

I knew Smoke’s words were meant to reassure me, but in a way, they only made it worse. I had thought I knew what I was getting involved in when I decided to keep seeing Smoke. But the truth was, only now was I beginning to grasp what the future held if I stayed with him. All of Kara’s and Dana’s words of warning came back to haunt me as I lay there in the arms of this dangerous, sexy man.

“Darlin’, you’re with me now.” Smoke brought his hand up to my chin and raised my face to his. “I love you.”

What I wouldn’t have given to have heard those words even just a few hours ago! As it was, right now I didn’t know if it was what I wanted to hear, or not. An immense wave of fatigue washed over me as my mind tried to wrap around all of the events of the past few days. I needed some time away from all of this, I realized tiredly. I just wanted to stop thinking about all of it.

“Um, I need to get back to campus,” I said, sitting up. “I have class at ten.” I tried to keep my tone light, unemotional, but the fact was that suddenly I was desperate to get out of this house, far from all the craziness. Right now, the comfortable, boring predictability of my university routine was the only thing I wanted.

Smoke frowned but didn’t argue. “Okay. You want me to drive you over and drop you off?”

“Yes, thanks,” I said, already out of bed and heading to the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a quick shower.” I shut the door and locked it behind me, grateful for the welcome solitude. I turned up the water as hot as I could stand it and stood under the stream for a few minutes, as though the heat could wash away everything that had happened since last night. When I was done, I towel dried my hair hurriedly and pulled it back into a quick pony. I unlocked the door and went back into Smoke’s room to throw on my clothes from the day before. He had risen and gotten dressed in my absence, and his eyes followed me wordlessly as I bustled around.

“Okay, I’m ready to go,” I said brightly when I was finally dressed. Smoke looked at me for a long moment, then abruptly crossed the room without a word. When he had finished up in the bathroom, he motioned to me and I followed him out the door to his bike. The trip to campus seemed longer than usual, and I was grateful for the roar of the Harley’s engine under us, which made conversation difficult. Once we arrived in the parking lot in front of my dorm, Smoke silently waited for me to hop off the bike and hand my helmet to him. “I’ll see you later,” he murmured, kissing me so deeply it made me dizzy.

“Okay,” I replied, giving him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. I waved goodbye to him and let out a huge sigh of relief as I reached the front door of the dormitory.

I practically flew up to my room to get my backpack. Normal, that’s what I wanted. Boring. Easy. Predictable. My whole life as a student was so scripted, a robot could do it: Get up, go to class, go to work, eat, study, go to bed. The only real dangers I faced were forgotten assignments and getting plowed into by a bicycle rider late for class. No gangs, no crazy ex-girlfriends with guns…

No Smoke.

My first class of the day was an upper level class for Communications Studies, my major. As the professor droned on about intercultural communications, I found my mind wandering back to Smoke and the Perdidos.
Talk about a different culture,
I thought sarcastically. No wonder I didn’t understand anything that went on there. I tried my best to pay attention during the lecture, but it seemed like everything the professor said sent my mind on another tangent having to do with Smoke and the MC. I walked out of the classroom at the end of the hour not having taken a single note. As a testament to my distraction, the only thing I had scrawled on the otherwise blank page of my notebook were the words: “What the hell am I doing?”

Best intentions aside, being back on campus did little to distract me from my worries. By my third class of the day, I was already having Smoke withdrawal. Despite my earlier decision to take some time and stay away from him and the club, I was too jittery and unable to focus on anything. Finally giving in to my nagging thoughts, I called in sick at my library job and phoned Josh, begging him to borrow his car for the afternoon. I could tell from his tone he wanted to ask why I needed it, but thankfully, he simply agreed to meet me at the student union to give me the keys. When we’d made the exchange, I went to retrieve his car from the campus lot where he paid for a contract spot, and soon I was headed back toward the Black Dog.

Smoke wasn’t there when I arrived at the nearly deserted clubhouse, but Roxy and Rosie were. They told me that the Perdidos had gone on a “run” (they were vague about what kind of run it was) and that Smoke and the rest of them would all be back the next day. Disappointed, I asked Rosie if they knew anything about what had happened with Liana the week earlier. From what Rosie said, they knew only that Liana had been “dealt with,” but they didn’t know how, only that she hadn’t shown up at the bar since.

Rosie was working as bartender at the Black Dog for the afternoon. The place was almost empty at that hour, and she alternated between filling drinks behind the bar and hanging out in a back booth with her mom. I sat down with Roxy and Rosie brought me a diet coke, then went back to the bar to check on a couple of the patrons.

“How’s it going with Smoke?” Roxy asked me. She had some paperwork spread out in front of her that looked like it might be receipts and bookwork from the bar. “It looks like he finally managed to knock some sense into Liana after what happened. Haven’t seen her around since.”

“Yeah,” I blew out my breath. “Smoke says there won’t be any more trouble with her, but I’m not sure I believe him.”

“Liana’s always been trouble,” Roxy said, shaking her head. “She’s not very good at getting the message when she doesn’t want to hear it. But I’m pretty sure the boys put the fear of God into her. She won’t bug you again.”

“You don’t think they beat her up, do you?” I gasped, shocked at the possibility.

Roxy looked at me like I was crazy. “The club don’t hit chicks,” she said. “They got other ways to get their point across.”

I didn’t ask what those other ways might be. I suddenly didn’t want to know any more.

“So, what’s going on with you and Smoke?” she repeated. “You two a thing now? Seems like you must be, if you’re here lookin’ for him.”

“I…” I began, and then stopped. The truth was, I had no idea how to respond to her question. “I’m not sure. We’re… well, I think we’re trying to work it out, but… I don’t know. I guess we’re just from two different worlds. It’s a challenge.”

Roxy laughed, but not unkindly. “Yeah, I bet it is. Your college friends know you’re seein’ a club member?”

“My friends think I’m crazy,” I admitted. “Maybe they’re right. I don’t know. All I know is… there’s something between us. Something I’ve never felt before, you know? But we’re so different… I don’t know anything about club life, and what I do know… Well, some of it kind of scares me.” I looked at her helplessly. “I just don’t know how this is supposed to work.”

“Yeah.” Roxy stared off into the distance for a moment, silent. “How’s Smoke feel about it?” she queried.

“I’m not even sure,” I sighed. “Before the thing with Liana, he told me I was in over my head and that it would never work between us. Then afterwards, he told me we were together, that he’d protect me and make sure I was safe. I’m getting whiplash from all this back and forth. Are we together? Are we not? It’s so much to try and figure out.”

“I’m not surprised,” Roxy said mildly, leaning back in her seat. She looked at me for a long moment, as if considering her words. “You know, honey, Smoke’s got more reasons than most to be conflicted about getting involved with a civilian.”

“A ‘civilian’?” I asked, perplexed.

She laughed. “Yeah, a civilian. Someone who’s not affiliated with the club. You’re a civilian, baby.” Taking a breath, she continued. “Smoke’s father, Rooster, used to be the president of this MC, back in the day. His wife, Maria, was a civilian. She could never accept the life of an old lady. She tried as hard as she could to keep her family separate from the club. Rooster loved that woman more than his life. Would have done anything for her. But if you’re in the MC, your duty to the MC comes first. We all know that, and if you’re in the life, you accept it.

“Rooster’s old lady never got to the place where she could accept that part of his life. She wanted more than anything for him to get out of the club, and when she got pregnant, with their first child – Smoke -- she started making more noise about it. Tried time and time again to get him to leave. She told him their child deserved to have a ‘normal’ life, with a mother and a father who were always there for him. A daddy who would be home every night, who could take him to ball games on the weekends. White picket fence kind of stuff.

“Maria was about five months pregnant when Rooster had to go on a run with the club one day. There’s always a certain amount of risk in a run, and the deal turned bad. There was a shootout – and Rooster got killed. Smoke grew up without a father as a result, and Maria never forgave the Perdidos for it.”

“Oh, wow,” I breathed. “I didn’t know any of this.” I looked at Roxy. “So, what happened to Maria and Smoke after Rooster died?”

“The club did what it could to take care of them financially. Rooster was family, after all, and family takes care of its own. But Maria never forgave us for what happened to him. She kept John, Jr. – Smoke -- from us as best she could while he was growing up. She said he wasn’t a Son of Glory, that he wasn’t ever gonna be one of ours. But the thing was, that baby had Rooster Sumner’s blood in his veins. Deep down, he was one of us, whether Maria liked it or not. Smoke started coming around the club in his early teens, and prospected just as soon as he could. Broke his momma’s heart, I know. But he just couldn’t stay away. Bein’ patched into his father’s club was the only thing he ever really wanted.”