Lorraine Heath (2 page)

“She doesn’t know, and even if she did, it doesn’t matter how she feels. I’m not going to become the laughingstock of this community. She’ll do what I tell her to do.”

Inhaling deeply, Jake wiped the sweat from his palms. “I’ll ask her.”

“No need to do that. If you’re agreeable, I’ll tell her tonight at supper.”

Jake stood up, took a deeper breath and, at the risk of losing his position at the ranch, said, “If you don’t mind, sir, I’d prefer to ask her.”

Anderson waved his hand in the air. “Fine. Just do it soon. I don’t want anyone thinking that baby’s not yours.” He turned back to the table and refilled his glass, dismissing Jake in the process.

Wearing a small smile, Jake walked through the Victorian manor, the hardwood floors echoing his passing footsteps. Reb as his wife? Sweet Jesus, wouldn’t that be something?

He stepped outside, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the glaring sun. The whirling dust, the resonant sounds of horses and cattle, the stifling heat brought him back to reality. Damn ugly bastard, he berated himself. Even if you get up the courage to ask her, she’ll say no. She’ll say it kindly, but it’ll be no just the same.

Jake stormed out of the bunkhouse, slamming the door behind him, the men’s laughter still ringing in his ears. They’d been pestering him, wanting to know what Anderson had told him that had made him lose his appetite. They’d said it wasn’t natural for a man fresh back from a drive to sit before a full plate of food and not eat. He sure as hell hadn’t answered them. But his silence hadn’t stopped the men. They’d just started ribbing him for the hard scrubbing he’d given his body, the trimming he’d given his hair. He had enough on his mind without their badgering intruding on his thoughts.

In the moon-shadowed night, he walked to the corrals, leaned against the whitewashed fence, and watched the horses move restlessly within the confines. He knew without a doubt which of the horses Reb would select for herself. The black stallion had a fiery disposition, but Jake knew how to bend a horse without breaking his spirit.That’s what she’d told him the first time she’d watched him tame a horse.

“You bend ‘em, you don’t break ‘em. I want you to bend my next horse. I don’t like ‘em too tame.” She had smiled that special smile of hers, her deep blue eyes flashing with delight.

She was the most down-to-earth woman he’d ever known. Not that he’d known many women. He wasn’t the type to attract women, and he knew he hadn’t attracted her, but she was easy to talk with, knew horses and cattle and how to run a ranch.

She wore a pair of man’s pants cut down to fit her slender hips and, if trouble was brewing, a custom-made Colt revolver strapped to her thigh. Jake had seen her use it once, amazed at the speed with which she had drawn the gun from its holster. She was a fair shot with a rifle and could keep an unruly herd on course. Had she been a man, she would have had the respect of every rancher in Kentucky.

She had been eighteen when he’d first come to the Lazy A, and even then she was beautiful. But her beauty went beyond her long black hair, her little button nose, her golden skin browned over the years as she rode the range. Her real beauty resided in her spirit, a spirit that couldn’t be contained, that like the black stallion required the freedom to run. She needed a highborn man who wouldn’t try to break her. And Jake Burnett was certainly not a highborn man.

Resting his elbows on the top rail of the fence, he rubbed the uneven bridge of his nose. If his mother had lived, she would have no doubt been disappointed to see how he and Mother Nature had managed to mar the perfectly shaped child she had struggled so hard to bring into the world. The child she had labored to keep alive when smallpox, with its unforgiving temperament, had struck their community. He had only been five at the time, but twenty years later, he could still hear her crooning to him, speaking words of love, her voice stronger than death’s. She had poured all her energy, all her strength, all her will to live into him, so when she had come down with the menacing disease, death had taken her instead of her son. The disease had left its mark on him, as it was wont to do, marring his face with shallow valleys, not many, but enough to make him self-conscious.

The black stallion snorted and edged towards him. Reaching out, he rubbed the animal’s sleek nose. “No doubt about it. She’s going to think you’re a handsome sight. Sure as hell wish I was, too.”

Earlier in the evening, he’d studied every last man in that bunkhouse. Most were better looking, some were better hands, but none loved Reb as much as he did. He’d felt the tender stirrings of love when she’d bestowed that first smile upon him. His love had grown as he’d spent more time with her, but he’d kept his feelings locked away because to do otherwise would cause him great pain. He’d always planned to leave before she got married because he hadn’t wanted to watch her being given away to another man. And now that man might be him. Whatever was her father thinking?

As dawn eased over the horizon, Jake shaved and put on his best working clothes—a pair of brown pants and a light brown shirt. He knew, pregnant or not, Reb would be out on the range. She wasn’t one to sit inside waiting on anything. She’d probably just get off her horse, have her baby, and then get back up in the saddle and go chasing after strays. With any luck, that’s what he’d find her doing this morning, away from everyone else.

When he came up over the ridge, the early morning mist slowly rising above the ground, he saw her sitting in the morning shade of a towering oak tree, her shoulders against the hard trunk, her head tilted back slightly, her eyes closed. He rubbed his thighs and took a deep breath. He had been up most of the night thinking about what he wanted to say to her, practicing hiding his disappointment when she said no. He had even come up with a list of reasons why she ought to take his offer seriously.

As he dismounted, Rebecca opened her eyes, smiling up at him. “Morning, Jake.”

Her voice was a soft caress. What a wondrous sound it would be to wake up to each morning.

Jake tethered his horse to a low-growing bush and walked over. “What you doin’, Reb?” he asked, striving to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

“Just enjoying the cool of the morning,” she answered. He didn’t need to know she’d just brought up her breakfast and was waiting for her stomach to settle before she got back on her horse.

Taking off his hat, Jake hunkered down beside her, balancing himself on the balls of his feet. He had the largest, most expressive velvet brown eyes she had ever seen, framed by long thick black lashes. It didn’t seem fair for a man to have such beautiful eyes.

“Fine herd of horses you brought in. Guess you know which one I want.”

He smiled at her, a lopsided smile, the right side invariably going up higher than the left. Boyish, a little shy, it was a smile that always warmed her heart.

“Yes, ma’am, I reckon I do. Took me three days to find that black one. Thought I might try and break him Saturday.”

She raised a finely arched eyebrow. “Bend him, you mean.”

“Yes, ma’am. Bend him.”

He turned his hat in his hands, studying it a minute before looking back at her, stating softly, “Reb, your father told me about your situation.”

She dropped her head back against the tree, closing her eyes as she released a heavy sigh. “For something he’s so damned ashamed of, he sure isn’t wasting any time letting people know.”

“I think he’s concerned you’ve convinced yourself the man is gonna come back. Your father thinks he won’t.”

She opened her eyes, blue meeting brown. “And I suppose
you
know he’s not coming back?”

“No, ma’am. I don’t. I do know people can get ugly,say mean things to and about someone in your situation. I know what it’s like to be called a name you weren’t given by your mother when you were born, a name that has nothing to do with anything you could have controlled.”

His eyes held hers as he took an unsteady breath. “I know I’m not much to look at, but I’m a hard worker. I got some land in Texas. I’ve never seen it, but from what I hear Texas has good ranch land and that’s what I’m hoping for. I figured to work here two more years to get together enough money for a good start, but I’ve got enough saved now so if I decided to go, it wouldn’t be too hard a beginning.” He hesitated, lowering his voice. “I’d be real honored if you’d go with me as my wife.”

Feeling the sting behind her eyes, she smiled tenderly. “Jake, I’m carrying Brett Meier’s baby.”

“Figured the baby was his.”

“And I love him.”

“Figured that, too. I’d never expect more from you than you were willing to give, and the child would never know he wasn’t mine unless you wanted it that way.”

“And if I could never willingly give you my love?”

I’d die,
he thought.
I’d just curl up and die.

“I’d hope maybe you could in time … but … if you couldn’t, I’d understand. See, I figured we’d have more of a partnership than a marriage. Not many women in Texas. If a man doesn’t bring a wife, he usually goes a long time before he finds one. I know how to handle the cattle and horses, you know how to handle the books …” He stopped, the remaining reasons irrelevant as he saw the rejection in her eyes. “Anyway, you can just think about it. Offer’ll stay open for a while. If you decide no, you don’t have to say anything. I’ll … I’ll just know.”

She placed her hand over his. “Thank you, Jake. Thank you for asking and for being such a good friend. And for not condemning.”

“Nothing to condemn. You love him. Reckon he loves you, too.”

She smiled. “He had some prospects he had to check on. We didn’t know I was carrying his child when he left. I do think he’ll come back.”

Jake nodded. “Man would be a fool not to.”

He stood up, looking out across the land. “Think I might bend that horse today.” He returned his hat to his head, bringing the brim down low. “See ya ‘round, Reb.”

The morning breeze rustled the leaves above her as she watched him ride away. She’d liked Jake Burnett the first time she’d set eyes on him. He didn’t act the way most of the men who worked the ranch did, strutting their wares and their talents before her. He was quiet and went about his work without stirring up a ruckus, but she noticed him anyway.

They had spent a great deal of time together the last three years, keeping an eye on her cattle, talking about ranching and different odds and ends, not really revealing much of themselves, but never lacking for something to say.

He shied away from social gatherings so she had been surprised to see him attend the last barn-raising dance. It had taken him most of the evening to gather the courage to ask her to dance. She had almost decided she was going to have to do the asking, because she was determined to have at least one dance with him. She had watched him approach two young ladies during the evening, one accepting, the other rejecting his offer for a dance. And watching him dance, she had found herself wanting to be the one in his arms.

He was long gone before the tears started trailing down her cheeks. So far, she hated being pregnant. Throwing up every morning, being tired every afternoon, and crying at the least little thing like a man asking her to marry him. But, Lord, it had been a sweet proposal. Almost worth accepting.

I
T OCCURRED TO
Rebecca that her pregnancy might not be the only cause for her bouts of nausea in the mornings. The strain, tension, and utter madness that was filling the house she and her father had lovingly shared was more than enough to make her ill.

All her life, she had ardently confided in the man who now sat at the table ignoring her. He had always been understanding, always been kind, always given good advice. So it had been natural for her to trust him with this latest bit of news. She had realized her mistake when she saw his hand in the air, a second before it made contact with her cheek, slamming her to the floor. She had been surprised his bellowing hadn’t started a stampede. And he hadn’t said one word to her since. Not one damn word. Not good morning. Not how are you feeling. And she hadn’t said one word to him. They took turns glaring at each other. She’d never thought it would be possible to hate him, this house, this ranch, but she did.

And what if Brett didn’t come back? She’d never doubted his love for her, and had never contemplated a future without him in it. And yet he had left, exacting from her no promises, giving her none in return. How long should she wait for him? How long
could
she wait before her present circumstance forced her to leave? She thought she’d go insane if she stayed here much longer.

So what was her alternative? She owned cattle that she had raised and bred. But where could she take them? She no longer cared as long as it was away from here. She thought if Giles looked down his nose at her one more time she’d poke his eyes out. And the little tut-tut noises made with his tongue against his teeth made her want to shriek.

She shoved her plate out of the way, setting her elbows on the table and her chin on her intertwined fingers. “Jake Burnett asked me to marry him today.”

Without lifting his eyes from his china plate, her father said, “Good. I told him not to wait too long. I have the marriage ceremony scheduled for a week from Saturday. The Reverend Mitchell will perform the ceremony here at the house.”

Rebecca felt the hairs on the back of her neck bristle as her eyes narrowed. “I said he asked me. I didn’t say I said yes.”

Her father laid down his fork and for the first time in three weeks looked her straight in the eye. “He wanted to ask, but regardless of how you feel, your answer is yes. I will not have you give birth to a child out of wedlock. And Burnett is your best choice. He may not be as fancy a man as you’d like, but he has an innate ability when it comes to ranching.”

“You can’t force me.”

His eyes became as hard as stone, and for the first time in her life, she actually feared her father.

“Rebecca, I have not acquired all that I have by being tenderhearted. I have overlooked a great deal of your transgressions, not saying no when I should have, letting you run free when I should have harnessed you. Believe me, daughter, if you think these past weeks have been miserable, embarrass me a week from Saturday and you’ll discover that there is indeed hell on earth.”