Lord of the Abbey (32 page)

“
Yes. Quite. The Tor tunnel appears to lead from Stonedown to the Tor. From the map it appears the
Secretum Domini
, which is how it was marked on William’s map, is located in a tunnel somewhere just beyond the outside library wall.”

“
Secretum Domini. The Secret of our Lord, here, at Stonedown?” Harry shook his head in disbelief. Laughed again. “All this time. We never knew. Did you find the tunnel opening?”

“
No, there was not time. But the spring in the cellar is marked with a celtic cross, a goddess symbol and the word
Avallach
, which went unnoticed, at least in my time here, because the marks are so faint. Nearly worn away. It’s highly unlikely anyone held up a lantern that close to the marker stone before today. Looking around, Micah determined the older cellar and spring alcove date from possibly pre-Roman or Roman times, with the kitchen storehouse being built around the thirteenth century.”

“
Avalon. Wonderful.”

“
Yes.” Still smiling, Rowena nodded.

Harry stopped her just before they descended the stairs. He nearly forgot to tell her.

“
Rowena. There is something I must tell you.” Harry’s expression grew serious then.

“
Yes, Harry?” she asked warily, raising an eyebrow. He looked so solemn and serious.

“
In Lyon’s lucid moments he told us that the men were not only looking for the leaden box.”

“
Oh? What else were they looking for, Harry?”

His hands moved to her shoulders. “They were to take you to someone, whom and why we do not know. Lyon lapsed back into unconsciousness before he could tell us more, if he even knew more.”

Rowena stared at Harry. She blinked. Blinked again.

Rowena, are you well?” Harry inquired with concern when he saw the color drain from her face.

“
I-I think so.”

“
There is nothing to worry about, love. You are safe with us. We’ll let nothing happen to you. I can promise you as long as there is breath in my body none shall take you. I’ve told you because I need you to be especially aware of your surroundings at all times. You’ll not be left alone, even for a moment. Nor should you even try to go anywhere alone. I know you won’t appreciate myself, or Micah, or one of the others hovering near at all times, but it is necessary. Until we find out who this person is and stop him.”

“
Very well, Harry. I understand.” Rowena nodded slowly. She felt ill. Dizzy. It was fear she felt flooding through her. She recognized the overwhelming, debilitating feeling. It paralyzed her. Took the breath from her body. Someone meant her harm.

Raw fear, just like when she knew her brother accepted the suit from Dalworth for her, despite her protests. Then forced her to be in Dalworth’s company alone, where after she found herself to be locked in the room with him, the lecher touched her, roughly fondled her then hit her in the face when she fought him. He pushed her. Hard enough to send her sprawling upon her back on the floor. And then…and then once she was on the floor she was pinned beneath him, her skirts were lifted and Dalworth forced himself upon her. The actual act of violation lasted naught but minutes. But it was painful and disgusting. She felt so vile and dirty. But the horrible memory of the deed and the helplessness she felt haunted her since.

Her screams went unanswered by her own brother in the next room. Dalworth was an evil man, no less so her own brother. Rowena felt she was tainted by the act. As the years passed the fear lessened. She no longer felt as dirty. The memory lost most of the fear she felt that day and months after.

The fear of someone trapping and harming her with none near who would help her consumed her directly after the incident. She still feared to be alone in the presence of any men save Sir John and the Marchese, before his passing of course. Until Harry. Then his friends. She never feared any of them. They were all kind. Treated her with respect.

She liked Harry’s touch, yearned for it. Wanted to know what coupling with Harry would be like. She knew it would be different than the day she was violated. Rowena wanted to erase the horrible memory of Dalworth’s invasion of her body
forever
. Because she knew with Harry it
would
be different. She hoped to even enjoy it, how could she not when she enjoyed, even craved his touch thus far?

She wanted the fear to go away. She thought she had put it behind her until now. This moment. She was immobilized with it, all over again, was hardly able to breathe the way it gripped her and took hold. Her chest felt heavy and tight.
Someone wanted to harm her again!
Why? What would they do to her if they took her?

Rowena did not realize she sat down upon the first stair, brought her knees close to her body. Or that she clung to the banister with such force the knuckles on her hand went white. Her other hand clasped Harry’s so tightly she felt his pulse, or was it hers? Nor did she realize she trembled all over, or that tears streamed down her face. She heard Harry’s voice as he talked to her, but was unable to comprehend his words. She tried to understand him. Forced herself to listen to his soothing voice. “Rowena? Can you hear me?” She nodded very weakly then shook her head. She did not hear him until then.

She felt herself lifted into his arms. She laid her head against his shoulder, clutched at the lapels of his coat. He carried her back to her bedchamber. Placed her gently on the pearl silk coverlet of the massive, Jacobean testered bed.

“
Rowena, speak to me, please. What can I do to ease what ails you, my love?” Harry whispered.

She saw his eyes were full of concern.

“
I must tell you something, Harry.” Rowena finally found her voice, though it was faint. She feared telling him, but she had to. It needed to be done. Before tonight.

“
Very well. Let me call for a maid to fetch your aunt for you.” He rose, bellowed out the door.

Rowena heard Betsy’s voice mingling with Harry’s in the hallway, then moments later Harry was beside her again. She clung to his hands as he sat on the bed beside her. “I thought my fear was all but gone, but I must tell you so you understand. So you do not think me frail. Just promise you won’t hate me after.”

“
I could never hate you, Rowena, nor do I think you frail. Tell me, please, sweet?”

“
I planned to tell you before, before… we, oh! I’ll just say it, get it done! My brother forced me to be in company alone with Dalworth after my brother accepted his suit for my hand, and h-he hurt me, Harry. Dalworth forced himself upon me. I fought and screamed, and no one came to help me. My brother
allowed
it. He was in the next room. I tried to get out, the door was locked. It was because of that and the unhappy marriage between my parents, seeing my mother’s suffering and pain that I decided never to marry. I thought the fear was gone. It took such a long time to put it behind me.”

Rowena took a deep breath and continued, “Until just now, when you said someone wanted to take me, the fear came back. It immobilized me, I was unable to breath and felt paralyzed, but I’m better now.” She choked on a sob. “I just wanted you to know, is all. I knew I must tell you before…” Tears slid down her cheeks as she turned to look at him.

Harry kissed her temple and hugged her trembling body to him. “I’m glad you told me, Rowena. I want you to know, this changes nothing between us. I still feel the same about you. I still want you.” He pulled back, looked into her eyes. Swept an errant curl away from her damp cheek. He cupped her face in his large hands, wiped her tears away with his thumbs. “I know you do not wish to marry, but I ask you now, Rowena, if you will at least consider marrying me as we go forward. Think about it as we come to know one another better. I will never harm you, force you physically to accept my attentions, or force you to marry me. I know you need time to trust me, but I beg you to simply consider the idea of marrying me, Rowena. For that is my wish. To have you as my wife.”

“
You want to marry me, even after I told –“

“
Yes.” Harry interrupted, smiled tenderly as he gazed into her eyes. “I want to marry you, Rowena. I never imagined nor wanted any other as my wife or Countess but you, Rowena. From nearly the first moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted you to be mine. This is the truth. What Dalworth did to you is no fault of yours. It does not change what I feel for you.”

“
Marriage is to give another complete control over-“

“
Marriage to me requires simply trusting that I will not exert complete control over you. That we will simply share a life together as man and wife, both being able to make decisions in said life.”

“
Oh?” Rowena wiped another tear away. Gave him a small smile. “Sharing a life together as man and wife. Hmm? I will consider marrying you, Harry. That sounds very nice. Sharing a life together. Happy, even.”

“
I assure you, Rowena, that I shall go to the ends of the earth to make certain you are happy. And I will give you however much time you need to make your decision, sweet.” He kissed her. It was a tender, sweet kiss.

“
And we will still…” she blushed, “you will still show me more of passion?”

“
If that is your desire. Yes. Whenever you are ready.”

“
It is my desire. I never feared your touch, Harry. Your touch does strange and wonderful things to my body. And, I wish now, more than ever, to erase that horrible memory from my past.”

He smiled. Drew back from her when they heard the sound of her aunt’s footsteps approaching.

“
Will you still come to me tonight?”

“
I will. But it has been a long day for us all. I must speak with the others, make certain all of the details for tonight are covered, and check in on Lyon. I’m on watch until two. We’ll see how we both feel later. I’ll be here with you, my sweet, after two. The passion might have to wait for another night. But I will hold you in my arms while in your bed, regardless.”

Rowena smiled. Nodded. “I think I like that idea, Harry.”

“
Rowena, what is the matter, dear?” Concerned, Frances came into the room followed by Betsy.

“
I fear she is overwrought with the day’s happenings, Lady Sperring. And I told her what Lyon said. It caused her fear, but I assured her there are none here who will allow her to be taken away. That she will be safe.”

“
Of course you will be safe here. You look pale dear, will you not eat? And Harry, you’re missing your dinner. I’ll have something sent up here for you both. You can share your meal together, here in Rowena’s room.” Frances smoothed her niece’s curls from her damp cheeks.

“
Thank you, Aunt Frances.” Rowena nodded. “I can eat a little, I think.”

“
I’ll check in on Lyon and speak to the others. I’ll be back up in a quarter of an hour. Can you stay with her Lady Sperring, until I return?” Harry continued, “I’ll place Charlie to watch at the foot of the stairs until I come back up.” He guessed the ladies needed some privacy.

“
Of course, Harry.”

After Harry left, and Betsy was sent to bring dinner upstairs for them, Rowena told her aunt for the first time what Dalworth truly did to her and what her brother, Richard allowed to happen. She allowed Frances to vent her anger. Then, with much happiness, Rowena told her aunt of Harry’s wishes and that she was considering marrying him.

Frances smiled through happy tears at hearing Rowena’s good news. “Harry’s a good man, Rowena. You’ll see that.”

“
I know Harry is a good man, Aunt Frances. I’m sorry I never told you about what Dalworth did to me. ‘Tis the only thing I’ve ever kept from you. I was frightened and ashamed. I felt there was something I might have done to stop it. I was worried what you might do or that you would confront them, and I feared Richard or even Dalworth might harm you. Or Sir John.”

“
Oh,” Frances paled considerably, “you should not have distressed yourself over me or Sir John, Rowena. I was worried about you. I must be honest. I suspected that Dalworth forced himself on you. You seemed so withdrawn and miserable after.”

Frances continued, “There were your nightmares as well, dear. I can’t say if I would have done something rash had I known for certain. I suppose I might have.”

Rowena’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry you worried for me, Aunt Frances.”

“
Never, ever be sorry dear. I love you. You are as special as a daughter to me, you know that,” Frances said tenderly.