Loop (38 page)

“No, really. If Mom catches you out of bed, she’ll kill me.”

“I’m at your house? They didn’t force fade me back?”

“Nope. You blacked out. I was terrified I’d be too late. When you told me to leave, I wasn’t going to. And then, I felt this Shift building up in me—calling to me—so I decided to trust you. It took me a few minutes to find him. Thank goodness he was in Afghanistan and nothing further back.”

“What are you talking about? Find who?” But even before I finished asking, I knew. “Your dad.”

“Fix ’em under fire,” Finn said with a little grin. But dark circles of worry still hugged his eyes.

“I had no idea you were going to get him.”

“I didn’t either until I got there. Just following orders, ma’am,” he said in a deep southern drawl, then switched to a more serious tone: “How are you feeling?”

“Good or, at least, okay. A little Buzzy, but … wait.
How
am I here?” Last I remembered, my quantum tendrils were being ripped in two. “Did your dad take out my chip somehow?”

Finn reached over to the nightstand and pulled the drawer open. He held up a case of half a dozen hypofuse syringes. One was empty.

“He didn’t remove it. He injected you with this. Dad’s theory is the serum disrupts the chip long enough for your brain to override it. Almost like a vaccine. Your body’s natural defenses kicked in and switched it off. Course, he still had to know where to aim.”

“Where did he get those?” The technology was way past Finn’s time. Hypofusers were only on the verge of mine.

“You gave them to him a few months ago. Showed him how to use them. Then swore him to secrecy. Apparently, Future You and my parents”—he crossed his fingers—“like this.”

He looked like he was about as happy at being kept in the dark as I was.

“Why did I bring him more than one?” I asked.

Finn shrugged. “Who knows? Your head will be sore a few days, but Dad thought it should be a pretty easy recovery. Still, he wants you to stick around here for a while.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I have to get back to my mom. She’s safe at Resthaven for now, but ICE isn’t going to be happy. And Leto could still get to her.” And Mimi. And Quigley.

“You don’t think he’s in cahoots with ICE?”

I shook my head. The thought had occurred to me, but Leto was a sole proprietor. He wouldn’t be anyone’s lapdog.

“No. At least, not yet. But as soon as he finds out that IcePick exists and gets his hands on one, he’ll have a heyday.”

He’d no longer be constrained to any Shifters’ scruples, to any of our Rules. ICE’s technology obliterated the Rule Book.

Finn’s mother bustled into the room laden with a stack of towels in one hand and a hamper of folded clothes in the other.

“Pumpkin, could you put these away?” Charlotte walked straight past without glancing at the bed. “Georgie’s in a snit because she Shifted in the girls’ bathroom at school and the vice principal accused her of climbing out the window. Got a week of in-school suspension. Now she’s threatening to cling to Bree’s synch. I don’t think my nerves can handle another—”

Charlotte’s mouth snapped shut. The corners curved up as she finally turned to face us. “Look who’s awake.”

I wiggled my wrist in a limp wave.

“How are you feeling, sweetie? Oh, Finn’s room is in such a state.” Charlotte tornadoed around, shoving socks and books and action figures in drawers. “I was going to put you in one of the guest rooms, but he insisted his bed is more comfortable. What kind of boy thinks his own mother puts guests on a hard mattress I don’t even know. But he was having none of it with you down the hall. Can I get you a cold compress? Some lemonade? Or I could put the kettle on for tea. Do you need more pillows?”

“I’m fine.” A little overwhelmed. “I
would
like some questions answered.”

“Shoot,” said Finn, kissing the top of my head.

“Okay. If I had the key to the reverter around my wrist all this time, why didn’t Future Me just tell Quigley how to use it and about the locket?”

“If that had happened, would we have met?” Finn pulled me close to his side.

“Would you have trusted her?” asked Charlotte.

“Would you have trusted
yourself
?” asked Finn. “I think she wanted to keep those pieces separate until you were ready to find out what the Truth really is for yourself. Besides, Doctrine of Inevitability. It
didn’t
happen.”

“Yes, but … does the Doctrine of Inevitability even exist anymore?”

“The Truth still exists,” said Finn, “the way things are supposed to be. The time line may be skewed, but it’s still there, still fixable. With this.”

He handed me the reverter.

“I guess you’re right.” I fiddled with the end of it, still clueless as to how the thing actually worked. I guess for now I just needed to trust that it did. “I suppose in hindsight—”

“Hindsight shmindsight.” Charlotte waved her hands in the air. “It’s pointless to you Shifters. The important thing is to keep your eyes open right where you are.”

I sank back into the squishy pillows and pulled a blanket up to my chin. The deluge of overwhelming thoughts engulfed me once more.

“So it really was me all along. I came here because of that stupid Muffy van Sloot, whoever she is. But it was Future Me who got Finn all worked up when she came back to, umm, talk.” I brushed past that part when Charlotte narrowed her eyes at her squirming son. “I was the one who told my mom about the enigmatic grin, which forced Quigley to erase any record of your family. Which, in turn, spurred
me
to come back. Good grief, watch me end up inventing that vaccine thingy in the first place.”

“Actually,” said Finn, “Future You’s always whining about your Quantum Biology Specialization, but—”

“Are you blarking kidding me?” I kicked the covers off my legs until I remembered I wasn’t wearing pants and yanked them back up. “Well, looks like it’ll come in handy.”

Chicken–egg. There was nothing I could do about it at the moment.

“All I know is that I can fix the changes ICE makes to the time line over and over and over, but that’s only strapping butterflies to the
Hindenburg
. We’re not safe until every trace of their technology is gone.” I held up the reverter. “Including this.”

The doorbell chimed downstairs, and Charlotte gave my foot a quick pat on the way out of the room. When Finn and I were alone again, I shimmied into my jeans under the covers, then swung my legs off the bed. Still achy, but that could be fixed soon enough in the twenty-third century.

“What are you doing?” asked Finn.

“I’ve gotta go.” I lurched to the side dizzily as what I could only assume was an urge to synch hit me. This was going to take some getting used to.

Finn noticed my bobble and reached his hand out to steady me. I had a newfound respect for his ability to fight the pull for so long in my time.

“Bree.” A trace of amused disbelief laced Finn’s voice. “What’s the hurry? You’re a free time traveler now. You have nothing
but
time. Quigley took your mom to the safest place possible for the moment. Nurse Granderson can contact Mimi’s parents to have her transferred to Resthaven. Who else…?”

His voice trailed off and his smile faded.

I continued my clothes hunt, focusing my attention in every possible direction but Finn’s.

He laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Repeat after me: ‘I can’t save everyone.’”

I bent down to feel under the bed for my boots. “I have to try.”

A squeeze of Finn’s hand stilled me. “You can’t help him. Wyck made his choice.”

“I
have
to try.”

“I don’t understand.” Finn didn’t bother to hide the hurt in his voice.

“I know you don’t.” And I prayed he never would. He’d never truly get it until he had to face down a decision his future self had made—one he hadn’t planned on or approved of. One that changed everything. Wyck was still in there. I’d seen a glimpse of it on the monument, just a flash, but it was there. I needed to believe there was hope for him. I needed to believe ICE could be stopped. Somehow. And that everything could go back to the way it was. The way it was supposed to be.

Before I had a chance to finish explaining myself, though, shouting voices filled the whole house. Slug ran past the room barking. His claws click-a-clacked down the stairwell. Finn and I trailed close behind him to the source of the commotion in the living room.

“Oh, sakes,” said Charlotte in a placating but still louder than usual tone, “I don’t blame you for being upset, but this can all be explained if you’ll—”

“Don’t tell me to simmer down again.” The angry shouting started back up: “I want you to tell me where my daughter is and what your son has gotten her involved in!”

I rushed past Finn down the steps and froze near the bottom. “Mom?”

My mother paused and looked at us.

It was really her.

Really, truly
her
. Whole and healthy.

And, man, she looked ticked.

“Bree.” She doubled over in relief, with her hands on her knees. She pushed her way around Charlotte and snatched me up in a bear hug. “Oh, sweetie. When they force faded you, I thought … Oh, I don’t even know what I thought. But you’re okay. That’s the only thing that matters. I’ve been so worried for the last hour. Thank goodness these Masterson people are art collectors. I don’t know if my boss would have approved the Shift otherwise.”

Charlotte winked at me. I forced myself out of Mom’s embrace.

“You came
here
.” I shook my head in disbelief. This was my mom from six months ago. In her time, Finn and I had just left our house. “You came here for your final Shift.”

The erased file. ICE must have destroyed it after they put my mom in the coma, to cover their tracks.

“Final Shift? What are you talking about, sugar booger?”

Just when I thought I was done with headaches.

*   *   *

I stood in the doorway of the Mastersons’ guest bedroom and stared at the spot where, moments before, my mom had lain.

Bring back the tru-ants. Bring back the splintered knee. The almost drowning. The explosion in my head.

This
was the hardest thing I’d ever done.

It had taken a while to explain everything to Mom, or at least everything that I understood. It had taken even longer to convince her to let John deactivate her chip. Now I knew why my future self had brought him more than one syringe. I thought it would make it easier, the knowledge that when she went back, to six months ago, she would actually be a free Shifter already. But it made it worse. Now I knew that when Mom landed on the Institute steps—right before ICE attacked her and drugged her into oblivion—she could have saved herself. She could have Shifted to safety. But she didn’t.

The imprint from Mom’s body was still smooshed into the fluffy duvet. I watched as it puffed up slowly, like she’d never been there. I hadn’t had enough time with her, not that such a thing existed. The pull for her to synch had come too soon. She was still too weak from the vaccine to fight it. There was no point even if she’d wanted to. She had to go back. She knew now that she had to announce that Truth clue before Bergin came and silenced her.

But maybe in the end it was only in weakness that Mom could muster the strength to sacrifice herself. She knew what she was doing, giving up six months of her life, for me and for other Shifters, for the whole world that would never know. That knowledge should have made our final hug easier.

It didn’t.

Finn wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Are you okay?”

A brave mask crept over my face, but I swept it aside. I was with Finn. No more walls. I turned around and clasped his hands in mine. I stood on my tippy-toes and brought my face toward his.

Finn took a half step back. “Are you sure? I was thinking that maybe … maybe it would be romantic for you to go back in time so we could share our first real kiss.”

I pressed my thumb to my finger against his chest in a soft pinch.
This
was the real Finn. The Finn who stayed by my side when fading away would have been far easier. The Finn who disappeared when it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

And this was the Finn who knew the real Bree.

I nodded and moved my lips to meet his.

This kiss wasn’t the infatuation of a scared sixteen-year-old.

It wasn’t the shock of a frantic hello from a stranger.

This kiss wasn’t for anyone else.

This kiss was
real
. It was perfect. His strong hands pulled me close. Somehow, every caress comforted and thrilled in the same tender movement.

I closed my eyes and reached my hands out as far as I could. The past and the future tingled in my fingertips. When I opened my eyes, we were standing on the opposite side of Finn’s room from where we just were, next to his desk. It was a mess.

“Are we in your past?” I asked.

Finn pointed to the key chain that had sunk with his Porsche. “Looks like it.”

“Then I’m Future Bree, aren’t I?”

“You’re making my brain hurt.”

“Chicken–egg.” I spared him the mental torture. “But why are we here?”

“Privacy?” Finn shrugged and moved in for another kiss, but I spotted something on his desk. Something superthin and shiny and futuristic.

“Leto’s delivery.” I could give the flexiphone back to him. I pocketed it and started scribbling a note to Finn to explain its absence.

“No, you signed it: ‘Love, Bree.’”

As I erased the last word and fixed my mistake, it gave me an idea. I wrote a set of instructions down for Finn and handed it to him. He read them.

“Why do you want me to—?”

“Don’t worry about that. Can you spare it?”

“Sure.” He looked down at his feet. “So what is this? Good-bye?”

“Of course not. It’s … see you soon.” I reached up and kissed him again. “Very soon.”

“See
me
soon? Or Past Me soon?”

Oh, keeping up with this was going to kill me. But it was worth it.

“Both, I guess.” I said. I couldn’t imagine my tendrils would let me stay apart from him for long at all. “At least for a while. Until I fully catch up with my future self.”