Looking At Forever (The Rock Gods Book 4) (24 page)

Learning you were a bastard child at the age of nineteen barely registered in his brain; at least that’s what he told himself. Why
should
it matter? He had lived a dozen lifetimes before he turned twenty, so learning he was illegitimate didn’t matter one fucking bit. It only made the chip on his shoulder more pronounced and his “fuck all” attitude grow tenfold. And didn’t that fit in with the rock star lifestyle?

Fucking right it did!

Wheland remembered bumping into Trina back stage the first time they met, when she turned his world upside down. He had looked at Trina as fresh meat, until he learned the twisted way they were related. His sister. Even now, all these years later it was hard to swallow that truth.

Half
-sister, Wheland reminded himself. She’d been born from the
legal
union between his father and wife, a woman Wheland had never met, nor did he care to. Wheland imagined Trina’s birth was a celebrated event and she was adored by a large, extended family with lots of uncles, aunts, and cousins. Probably even grandparents. Wheland never knew his grandparents. Both his mother’s parents were gone before he was born and no one ever talked about his father’s parents. It might have been cool to have a granddad to fish with or play ball; neither sport his biological dad ever bothered to do with Wheland.

Trina hadn’t been hidden away in the center of lower-class America, like he and the twins had, under a fabricated life story his mother had created for them. Maybe she thought it was easier that way, but most likely she was just deluding herself. She’d created the lie to make
herself
feel better about what she was doing and that was about it.

The night he’d met Trina, she was hanging around backstage after the show. Her long, straight blonde hair fell halfway down her back. Then he remembered the outline of a perfect ass beneath a pair of skin-tight jeans. He also remembered everyone in his band falling over themselves to get near her. As soon as she explained who she was and her connection with him, without further discussion Wheland had ushered her outside and into a taxi like she had the bubonic plague, then had a taxi drive them to an all-night diner about a mile down the road from the club. That’s where she laid the whole story out for him in full living color.

He remembered the emotion he saw in her light hazel eyes, eyes almost the same shade as his. She wasn’t angry or filled with hate. The emotion looked more like pity and that was something Wheland couldn’t get out of his head even today. She
pitied
him.

How fucked up was that?

Tricia. Trixie. Whatever the fuck her name was. Trina. Wheland was pretty sure she had called herself Trina when they’d met, as she had tonight; short for some bullshit aristocratic name. How fucking perfect for her. He didn’t care much about her then, and cared even less now over a decade later. As soon as she’d finished her story, Wheland remembered leaving her there in the diner with enough money on the table to cover her drink and a taxi ride back to wherever the hell she’d come from and a threat to stay the fuck out of his life. She’d kept up her end of that bargain until tonight, but somehow in all these years Wheland hadn’t been able to move beyond this truth. Instead, it continued to be a big deal to him: the dirty little secret to his life. He’d held on to it, acknowledging the anniversary of when he’d met Trina every fucking year by getting stone cold drunk. And, every year, it was like taking another kick to the balls all over again.

“Mick?” Rooster asked, pulling Wheland from his old memories.

Wheland lifted his head and met Rooster’s gaze. He realized he’d completely gone inside his own head and shut Rooster out, reliving a nightmare that refused to die.

“The night I hit your car was the anniversary of me meeting Trina,” Wheland said. “I was going to that bar to get shitfaced to forget all the crap she’d told me about my dad. The problem is, after all the anniversaries that have passed, I’ve never once been able to forget. Not even for a little while.”

“Why do you think that is?” Rooster asked.

Wheland shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said. “Wheland is my mother’s last name. The prick never even legally adopted us. Trina got his family name. All I got was his first name: Michael. My mom called both of us Mick, but after I learned what kind of guy he was, I didn’t even want that. Every time I heard the name, it made me think of him and I hated it... hated what it stood for.” Wheland leaned back in his chair. “Fuck. It doesn’t matter. I’m certainly not the first kid born out of wedlock and by no means will I be the last.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Rooster said. “It’s not the circumstances surrounding how we came in to this world that matters. It’s what we do with our life while alive, and the men we become by the time we leave it.
That’s
what matters.”

A knock on the door made them both jump.

“Wheland? You in there?” Alex asked.

Rooster looked at Wheland. “Want me to get that?”

Wheland shook his head and stood up. “I’ll talk to him,” Wheland said. “I believe I owe him an apology.”

Wheland opened up the door, just as Alex was about to knock again. “You good to perform tonight?” Alex asked.

“Of course I am,” Wheland said, and opened the dressing room door wider. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Alex stepped inside the small room. He glanced at Rooster and nodded, then faced Wheland again. “You and that girl,” Alex said. “It looked like you were dealing with some... personal shit. If you were too pissed off to give us a hundred percent on stage tonight, I needed to know now.”

“Look, Alex. I’m sorry I blew up at you,” Wheland said. “I was wrong to do that.”

“Anything you want to talk about?” Alex asked.

Wheland pushed the hair off his forehead. “Yeah, I’ll tell you about it, but not tonight,” Wheland said. “Sonny is helping me process it and now I need to figure out a way to cut bait and walk away.”

“Sometimes that’s all you can do,” Alex said.

Alex moved closer to Wheland and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “I’m here if you need me,” Alex said and pulled Wheland in for a hug.

Wheland reciprocated Alex’s embrace. “We’ve got nine fucking months on the road,” Wheland said. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk.”

“We go on in twenty,” Alex said, walking toward the door.

“I’ll be there,” Wheland said, and shut the door behind him.

Wheland turned around and Rooster was right there. He slid his arms around Wheland and pulled him tight to his body.

“Thank you for telling me about that,” Rooster said against Wheland’s neck. “I know it wasn’t easy to talk about, but I appreciate you wanting me to know. It helps me to know the man I fell for a little more.”

Wheland tipped his head and caught Rooster’s eyes. “I’m pretty fucked up, huh.”

Rooster held Wheland’s head in his hands; his gaze fixed on Wheland’s. “You’re a good man, Mick, and I hate that you’ve thought less of yourself because of what your father did. You are not him. You’re a far better man; you’re everything he never was, and I love you.”

Wheland dropped his forehead to Rooster’s. “I do love you, Sonny,” Wheland whispered. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been here.”

“I’m always here for you, Mick. Don’t ever question that.”

Chapter Nineteen

Rooster watched another sold-out show play-out from the shadows of the side stage at Radio City Music Hall. Seeing Wheland in his element like this and the reaction of the audience was magical and the sexy way Wheland moved his body stole Rooster’s breath. The man was like raw sex standing upright and Rooster couldn’t believe he had Wheland in his life.

And he loves me.

Rooster smiled thinking about it. He certainly didn’t see that emotion factoring in to this at all when they first got together. Blindsided was a good way to describe how Rooster had felt, but once he realized it was love he was feeling for Wheland, he rolled with it. He’d never been in love with a man, wasn’t sure he’d ever be lucky enough to find someone special like that, but then Wheland slammed in to him – literally, and the rest was history. Bumping in to Wheland had turned out to be the best adrenaline rush Rooster had experienced in his entire life.

Rooster was at Wheland’s side for the after-show interviews and fan photographs. After an hour they were finally walking back to Wheland’s dressing room. Wheland leaned in to the shell of his ear and asked, “Would you be upset if we blew off the after party tonight?”

Wheland didn’t need to ask the question because Rooster had been daydreaming for the last few hours about getting Wheland back to the suite and into bed. By the look of lust weighing heavy on Wheland’s eyelids, Rooster was certain they were both wanting the same thing. Rooster was about to reply to Wheland’s question when Wheland’s hand covered his ass cheek and gripped down hard on the firm muscle.

Rooster held Wheland’s heated gaze and swallowed hard. “Are you off the clock?”

“Just about,” Wheland said. “And as soon as I get you back to my room, your ass is mine.”

“Your dirty mouth is making my dick hard,” Rooster said.

“My dirty mouth is going to suck your cock until you scream my name,” Wheland said. “And then, I’m going to fuck you slow and hard.”

“Jessssus, Mick,” Rooster sighed.

Wheland pulled Rooster into his dressing room and started collecting his personal things and putting them into his backpack. Rooster watched him quietly from beside the closed door.

“You staring at my ass?” Wheland asked, smirking at Rooster from over his shoulder.

“Among other parts of you,” Rooster said.

Wheland came to his full height. He dropped the pack onto the couch and crossed the room to Rooster; stopping in front of him. His hand cupped Rooster’s cheek. Rooster leaned in to the soft caress.

“Having you with me this weekend has meant so much,” Wheland said. “I want to make sure you understand the depth of my gratitude, Sonny. You being here makes everything real.”

Wheland’s thumb pad skimmed over Rooster’s whisker stubble and Rooster’s breath caught in his chest. The words flowing from Wheland’s mouth and seeing the emotion glistening in his eyes, was perfection. Wheland leaned in and brushed their lips together.

“I love you, Sonny,” Wheland said. “You own me... heart and soul.”

Sonny bit back tears and wrapped his arms around Wheland’s back. “You’re my life, Mick, and I am so in love with you.”

Rooster opened for Wheland and welcomed the tongue sliding in alongside his, swirling over the top, and probing into the back of his throat. Wheland had a way of sweeping him up in a whirlwind of arousal and emotion without hardly trying. Just being close to Wheland was enough to pull Rooster into this vortex and bring his cock to full attention. Pressed against Wheland had fast become Rooster’s favorite place to be; his own personal nirvana.

Rooster groaned when Wheland’s teeth nipped at his bottom lip and their hips began rutting together, grinding one erection over the other.

“Babe, we need to get horizontal,” Rooster said, “or I’m gonna lose it in my pants.”

Wheland chuckled against Rooster’s mouth, then stepped back. Rooster wiped at the wetness on Wheland’s lips. Wheland tipped his head and sucked Rooster’s thumb into his mouth.

“Jesus, Mick,” Rooster whispered. His eyes watched Wheland’s lips wrap around his thumb and the fluid caress of his tongue curling around it had Rooster unraveling at the seams. “You make me feel a whole new kind of crazy.”

Wheland let Rooster’s thumb slip from his mouth. His eyes locked on Rooster’s. “Crazy fucking good is what it is.”

Wheland stepped away and finished packing his things from the dressing room, then together they walked to the artist exit to catch a ride back to the hotel. It didn’t take long for their driver to take them and Fizzbo back to the hotel, but it was longer than either of them felt like waiting. At least Fizzbo had the decency to sit up front with the driver and allow Wheland and Rooster some privacy in the back.

Wheland opened the door to the suite and tugged Rooster inside. One long kiss began as they stumbled toward Wheland’s room. Groping hands pulled at articles of clothing, buttons, and zippers released even before they reached the bedroom. Wheland barely managed to kick his bedroom door closed before Rooster threw him onto the oversized bed.

They finished peeling the clothing off each other, then Wheland rolled on top of Rooster. Beautifully naked, he pushed Rooster’s hands above his head and twined their fingers, then rocked his hips with Rooster’s.

“Mine,” Wheland said softly, his hot breath bathing Rooster’s face.

That one word was powerful and Rooster surely felt its weight in every cell of his being.

“I love being yours,” Rooster said.

Wheland took Rooster’s mouth again and kept up the motion of his hips. The pre-come building between them was creating a slick glide for their cocks and every delicious roll of Wheland’s hips was bringing Rooster closer and closer to release.

“Fuck me bare, Mick,” Rooster said in a breathy voice.

Wheland rose up on his forearms. “You sure about that?” he asked. “I thought you wanted to wait until we both got tested.”

“I trust you,” Rooster said. “And I want to have this with you.”

Wheland’s expression turned serious and Rooster’s heart began to thump harder beneath his ribs. Going bareback with Wheland would deepen the commitment they were building and Rooster welcomed it. Best rush he’d ever had and the scariest, too, but seeing the love reflected in Wheland’s eyes gave Rooster the courage to take them to the next level.

Wheland sat back on his heels; his knees resting between Rooster’s thighs. Rooster watched Wheland’s nervous mannerisms and something that looked a lot like uncertainty furrowed his brow. Rooster smiled and levered up to a sitting position.

“Babe, it’s no different than what we’ve been doing already,” Rooster said, and lightly kissed Wheland’s lips. Rooster wrapped his fingers around Wheland’s shaft and pulled off one stroke. “Don’t you want to feel this without a barrier between us?”

“Fuck, yes. I want this too, but...”

“But what?” Rooster asked.

Wheland closed his eyes and drew in a long breath. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m nervous,” he said.

“Me, too, but the idea of doing this with you also makes me hard as hell,” Rooster said. He tightened his hand around Wheland’s cock and tugged.

Wheland’s gaze lifted to Rooster’s. “Jesus, Sonny.”

“I know, Mick. It’s like free falling from a plane.”

“Let’s hope the chute opens,” Wheland said.

Rooster grabbed Wheland’s neck and fell backward to the mattress pulling Wheland with him. His hands cupped the sides of Wheland’s face. “Fuck me, Mick. Please,” Rooster said. “Can you give me this?”

Wheland nodded slowly and Rooster took his mouth in a searing kiss. He ended it by biting Wheland’s bottom lip and Wheland’s fuse was lit. Wheland’s hand gripped behind Rooster’s knee and pushed his leg back toward his shoulder. He pulled his mouth from Rooster’s mouth and sucked on his neck, the moved lower to lick along his collarbone. Lower still, Wheland nibbled at one of Rooster’s nipples and then the other making Rooster moan loudly in the process. Across Rooster’s stomach, licking and sucking the pre-come glistening on the ridges of muscle. Wheland’s tongue traced the thin line of hair and followed the trail all the way down to Rooster’s cock. He didn’t touch Rooster’s erection, instead he kissed around the base, then dropped lower. He pulled one ball into his mouth and hummed around it, then licked his way to the other.

Rooster was nearly out of his mind with lust. He pushed his hips off the bed trying to get more friction from Wheland’s mouth. All that movement did was bring Wheland’s tongue in contact with his taint.

“Jesus, Mick.”

“You like that, babe?” Wheland asked.

“I’m losing my fucking mind,” Rooster said.

“Oh, I’m a long way from making you lose your mind,” Wheland teased.

Wheland pushed Rooster’s other leg back and spread him open for his tongue to trail a wet path through his crease. He found the tight hole and flicked his tongue over it, then laved it with the flat part of his tongue before spearing the tip inside.

“Ahhh, fuck!” Rooster hissed. “Please, Mick. You’re killing me.”

Wheland came up on his knees and reached for the tube of lubricant sitting on the bedside table. He squirted a glob of it on his fingers, then moved back between Rooster’s legs.

“You think you’re ready for me bare?” Wheland asked, and eased one finger inside Rooster’s tight hole.

Wheland continued to drive Rooster crazy, adding a second finger and spinning them over his gland. Rooster sucked in a breath and tried to talk himself out of coming. The buzzing was already starting in his balls. If Wheland didn’t slide his cock into him soon, he’d be shooting from just having the fingers in his ass.

Wheland removed his fingers from Rooster’s channel just long enough to coat his cock with lube, then he lined the broad head to Rooster’s opening.

“Are you still sure that’s what you want?” Wheland asked.

Rooster nodded and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth.

Wheland’s gripped Rooster’s hips and pulled him up on to his thighs, pushed Rooster’s legs back toward his face, and opened him. His gaze dropped to his cock head resting against Rooster’s opening. Rooster could feel Wheland pulsing. He relaxed himself and waited for Wheland to push inside, but Wheland wasn’t moving.

“Don’t over think it,” Rooster said. “It’ll be fine. I promise.”

Wheland’s eyes flicked to Rooster’s and then he started pushing forward. Rooster held Wheland’s gaze. There was nothing sexier than watching euphoria wash over Wheland’s face. But, this time Rooster could see something else swimming around in Wheland’s heated gaze.

Love.

The realization of that made Rooster’s heart clench. How could he have gotten this lucky to find a man like Wheland; his perfect Alpha top. This felt so right. The way they moved together in synchronicity was almost like an out of body experience with their minds and bodies working on the same blissful thought. 

“Feels so damn good,” Wheland said, his mouth gaping open and his eyes screwed shut.

Wheland kept inching deeper until they were flush against one another. Wheland paused allowing Rooster to adjust, then leaned forward and kissed Rooster softly.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this bareback,” Wheland said against Rooster’s mouth. “This is a first for me.”

Wheland smiled and withdrew his cock until just the head was inside Rooster. He paused there, pulsing against Rooster’s sensitive opening until Rooster thought he’d lose his mind.

“Do you want to hear me beg, is that it?” Rooster asked.

“I do love hearing your pleas to be fucked,” Wheland said. “But right now I’m simply enjoying this perfect... connection with you.”

Wheland slid deep again and both of them moaned.

“Holy shit,” Wheland said. “This is intense.”

It wasn’t that it felt different without the condom, because the additional sensation they were feeling was too subtle to make much of a difference. The real significance of that missing barrier came from the emotional impact of what this meant to both of them. This notched everything up by several new levels for them. It was one more way they could move their relationship forward to something permanent.

Wheland changed the angle of his penetration and the head of his cock slid right across Rooster’s gland.

“Oh, babe, that feels so fucking good,” Rooster said.

Wheland pulled halfway out and slammed inside of Rooster again. Over and over, Wheland thrust into Rooster and in no time at all, Rooster felt the first sizzle of orgasm begin to spiral in his balls. He didn’t want this to be over so quickly, but he also knew he wouldn’t have the resolve to hold off, either.

“Fuck! Right there, right there,” Rooster said.

Wheland continued the steady rhythm he had established and Rooster crashed over the edge and straight into oblivion. Rooster’s head snapped back into the pillows at the headboard and his spine arched of the bed. Wheland gripped onto Rooster’s hips. He delivered several swift, short thrusts into Rooster, as thick jets of come shot from the tip of Rooster’s cock and splashed across his stomach and chest.

The groans coming from Rooster’s throat were almost unrecognizable as being human and Rooster couldn’t believe he was the one making them. He had the faint realization Wheland was still moving inside him and then the familiar glazed expression on Wheland’s face announcing his release.