Long Overdue (River Jewel Resort Book 3) (3 page)

Chapter Two

“Not enough pay. Not enough hours. Not enough clothing.” She tossed the red marker across the room. “This newspaper is full of shitty jobs. There has to be something in this town I’m qualified to do.”

“Have you considered starting your own tantric-tutoring classes at the Y?” Matt waved his napkin as Olivia threw him an evil glare.

“Hardy-har-har. Are you ever going to let that go? It happened over a month ago.”

“I know, but I still wish I had been there to see it. I’m afraid the images in my mind of you and the
p
P
rofessor rolling around in your office just don’t do the real thing justice.”

“Perv.”

“You know it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the old man still sits around picturing the two of you getting each other off while he jerks off in that disgusting office of his.”

“Really? Did you have to go there? I feel dirty just thinking about it. Gross. I still can’t believe I let my libido take control of me.”

“Just kidding, babe. Tell you what, if you promise to go to River Jewel while I’m in Chicago doing actual work this weekend, I’ll stop teasing you about the senior-shag when I return.”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Liar. You’re enjoying this.”

“Well, yeah, but I promise to stop. Besides, I overheard someone last night say that they’re putting a bookstore in at the
r
R
esort, on the third floor. That tells me they’re hiring and who better to run a bookstore than you?”

“No way.” She was speechless. A bookstore! It had been years since she’d been in an actual bookstore. Working at the library, reading Matt’s books and the ease of online shopping had supported her need for books for years. To be employed at a shop full of her favorite things would be amazing! Just the thought of working in one made her panties wet. For Olivia, books had always been everything. The way they smelled when one opened them and the feel of them in her hands was like a drug. This was one of the many reasons she’d loved her job at the library. She could be closest to the things that made her happy.

One night after the library closed, her love of sex and fiction came together in an amazing way. She’d snuck in with a guy and they’d made love on top of one of the long, mahogany tables. Olivia had never felt more alive than that night. She’d been surrounded by new and old authors, their famous works standing at attention, surrounding them. Their stories of happily-ever-afters calling to her as she milked every drop from her ex’s shaft and after that, screwing in the library had become the only thing that came close to satisfying her.

Her fiancé, Randy, had never been into anything she wanted or needed and for a long time, she’d thought it was her fault. Olivia had tried to be everything Randy Davis desired and it took her a long time to realize that no one could have made him happy. His insatiability rivaled hers but he preferred to satisfy his needs with other people behind Olivia’s back. If she had known what he was doing, she never would’ve stayed with him for as long as she did. Looking back, she had wasted so much time and she’d cried enough tears to fill the Ohio River. If only she had met Matt sooner. Maybe their lives would’ve been differen
t
. Straddling Matt on a library table, riding him until they were both raw and exhausted…

“
Hellooo
. Earth to Olivia.” Matt snapped his fingers in her face. “Where’d you go? Oh, you were thinking about Tim the quarterback again, weren’t you?”

Busted
.
“Not exactly. Okay, maybe.”

“You were! Library sex flashbacks? I’m so jealous!” He teased. “I’ve never known anyone to hold on to a memory of an ex like you have.” Did she sense a bit of real jealousy in his tone?

Maybe it was a fantasy of you that I was thinking abou
t
. She’d seen how well-endowed Matt was. Helping him get into and out of the shower safely every other day had played a huge part in her need to be taken by a man, any man. Thinking back, she should’ve spoken up sooner. Maybe their lives would be different if she had. An author and a librarian were a perfect match. She’d give him plenty of inspiration for his books and he’d fulfill all of her fantasies. But what if she was wrong? He’d never even tried to kiss her. Did he find her repulsive?

“He isn’t technically an ex. And that sex was the best I’ve ever had. Too bad he flaked the next day. I can’t stand a guy who doesn’t love adventure.”

“Not all
men
guys
can handle your appetite, my dear. You just haven’t found the right one yet.”

But she had and she was too chicken to say a word.

“Remember last week when you said you wanted me to be happy? I’ve thought a lot about what you said. If I could find a guy who loves books as much as I do, I mean really loves books and if he would just fuck me senseless every now and then, I’d be happy. I don’t need any long-term commitments, just a library buddy.”

She tried testing the waters to see what Matt would say. Did he believe a fling was all she wanted? Would he call her bluff? When he looked at her, she saw something in his eyes. Was it love? Lust? Or was it just her imagination?

Matt
’s
choked and blew warm liquid all over Olivia’s table. Coughing and sputtering, he shook his head side to side. Olivia couldn’t remember a time she’d ever seen her friend’s face so red. When Matt spoke, it was punctuated by gusts of laughter. “What? Are you serious?
A
library budd
y
? I thought you were going to think about finding a more permanent partner.”

“What? Did I embarrass you? You always talk about fucking, why can’t I? And not necessarily just a library buddy. I mean, after all, I no longer work there. But a man who gets aroused from the scent of a book, who wants to do more than read the scenes playing out in real life, a man who will live out those scenes with me once in a while, that’s what I want.”

Matt clapped and whistled. “Finally! Well said, gorgeous! Since it’s been week
s
since your last library romp, I’d say you’re long overdue. My advice? Get your hot ass out to the River Jewel Resort and apply for a job at that bookstore. Even if they’re not hiring, you can book a room and relax for the weekend. Maybe you’ll find another bookworm who shares your passion just wandering the gardens in search of a leading lady for his own fantasies.”

There it was. She’d given him every opportunity to show her he was interested. Obviously he wasn’t. After Matt left, Olivia opened her laptop and pulled up the website for the River Jewel. “He’s right, it looks amazing. Oh, the things I could do there. With the right person, of course. If only he’d go with me.”

* * * *

Matt had no idea how much longer he could keep his secret. As he sat staring at the walls in his lonely home, his thoughts drifted to Victoria Morris. His ex-girlfriend knew everything and when she’d finally put the pieces together, their break-up hadn’t been pretty. The truth hurts and Matt felt the sting of her words even now, a month after their fight.

“Did you think I was too dumb to figure out where you’ve been going?”

“No. I never thought you were dumb, I thought you didn’t care. You’re never here, Victoria. Why should I be?”

“So that gives you the right to be out at the River Jewel hooking up with random strangers and gambling?”

“I wasn’t hooking up with random strangers.”

“Okay, so I misspoke. You were out there wit
h
he
r
again, weren’t you? You disgust me. You need serious help. You sit here with your books and computer, virtually ignoring me while I’m here and as soon as I leave, you run straight into that woman’s arms, don’t you?”

Matt couldn’t even look her in the eye. Victoria was drop dead gorgeous and any guy would be one lucky bastard to have her
.
Any guy
,
but him
.
He cared for her
,
but he didn’t love her. He couldn’t love her. She would never be the one. Guilt ripped through him like a sharp dagger and he knew he deserved to feel like shit. He never should’ve started a relationship with a woman he knew he could never love. He loved another woman, and if sneaking around a fancy resort was the only way he could have her, so be it.

“She’ll never love you, but I did. You really blew it.”

Matt looked at Victoria with her piercing blue eyes full of tears, really saw her, and saw what he’d done. He’d broken her heart and he’d never meant to.

“You should go.”

“Why? So you can go back out there to be with your fantasy woman? How does she do it for you? You prefer sneaking around, pretending like the world doesn’t exist. If that’s what you want, fine. You can have at it. But when she finds out what you’ve really been doing, don’t come crawling back to me, Matt Osgood. You’re disgusting, and someday, she’ll see you for what you truly are.”

That last argument with Victoria replayed over and over again in his mind. Reaching for his drink, he took a long swallow of the domestic beer he’d been nursing and for the millionth time, wondered how he’d ever find the balls to tell Olivia he loved her. He couldn’t. They’d been friends for so long and had shared almost everything with each other. He knew of her escapades and she knew about most of his. If Olivia ever found out about the woman he’d been seeing at the River Jewel Resort she’d never look at him the same way again. Matt wasn’t afraid of much, but that sobering thought chilled him to the bone.

When Olivia’s fiancé Randy died, Matt had stayed with Olivia for weeks as she mourned his death. But it wasn’t just that he’d died at a young age. Randy Davis had been shot by his lover’s crazed ex-boyfriend. The news that he’d been cheating on her the night he’d died was on the lips of every gossipmonger in town. Olivia had been too ashamed to show her face anywhere. Matt had
been
stayed
by her side comforting her even as his own thoughts and desires tortured him every time they touched. He wanted to be hers. Sometimes the ache
to hold her, kiss her and love her as she deserved to be loved
was unbearable. As he sat alone, he drifted back to one of the many times he’d held Olivia in his arms. He was the loyal, compassionate friend whenever she needed him and that time was no different.
Thoughts of yet another missed opportunity to tell her how he really felt tormented him relentlessly. No, not a missed opportunity. He was a cowa
rd, plain and simple.

“It isn’t your fault, sweetheart.” Matt had whispered as he’d held her in his arms after the news of Randy’s death had spread through town. Everything about Olivia was perfect. Matt ached to tell Olivia how he felt. But it was never the right time. Especially when she was sobbing over some fool. The urge to shake her, make her notice him, had to be suppressed. He knew he had to wait, give her time to heal. The only thing Matt could do was be there for her and he was.

“I can’t believe I was such a fool, Matt.” He thought she was so beautiful, even when she was crying. The way her cheeks blushed, he wished he could kiss those tears away.

“You weren’t. He was. You deserve so much better, Liv. I hate seeing you like this. It’s killing me.” She shot him an evil glare. “Okay, wrong choice of words, but it’s so hard to watch you beat yourself up over a guy who screwed you over. It’s time you took control of your life
back
. That bastard doesn’t deserve another moment’s thought or
another
anymore of your
tear
s
.
from
”

Olivia had looked up at him with the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen, the eyes he saw every night in his dreams “You’re right. I need to get back to work, get out there and enjoy life. Maybe in a few days, okay?”

True to her word, Olivia got back out there with a vengeance. She’d been having one-on-one sessions with college guys ever since.

“I just want it to be fun and done. No strings. What better place than that gorgeous library surrounded by all of those arousing books
and love stories
? At night, when it’s silent, I can almost hear the romance books cheering with approval. I get to live out their stories and write some of my own using my body. If only I could find a guy like the men in your books, Matt.”

Each time Matt had to hear about her escapades, it broke his heart, piece-by-piece. He wanted forever, she wanted fun. They could never be together. If he told her how he felt, he risked losing her forever and he just couldn’t do that. Sure, he’d dated around a lot, trying to fill the void as he told himself that one day she’d look at him and know he loved her. However, Olivia had never looked at him with anything more than friendly love in her eyes. They were movie buddies, grocery buddies and on Sundays they watched football together, nothing more than what best friends were supposed to do. He’d take that
.
Because a life without her in it at all would be agony.