Long After (Sometimes Never) (23 page)

44

Moonshine

Chase

Annie leans forward, standing on the tips of her toes to capture my lips as soon as we step in the door. And I let it happen. I welcome it. I’ve been thinking about this exact moment all night. She tastes sweet, like the soft, fruity tang of the champagne we were all sipping on.

I angle her head, deepening the kiss.
A sound emanates from her throat and my body responds to the noise naturally, echoing it as if we’re having a conversation. And we are, in a way, communicating. Every touch that she reacts to, every moan, every gasp, encourages me to do it again. To take it a little farther. I’m telling her how much she means to me. How much I want her. How much I care.

“Chase,” she sighs, her voice so low and slow with desire, I swear I feel it
in every inch of my body. Her fingers work at the buttons of my dress shirt. Her hands are shaking, so I close mine over top of them, bringing them up to my mouth. I place a lingering kiss into each smooth palm before I drop them to remove my shirt.

Annie’s eyes trail over
my chest, pausing on my stomach before she finds my face again. I can’t help but grin at her. I know she likes what she sees, her gaze devouring me with a ravenous hunger. One I hope to satisfy tonight.

When she looks at me like this, my whole body reacts immediately, every muscle contracting and rippl
ing with a ferocious craving. An aching.

I want her so badly.

I
need
her.

I step forward, reaching
unhurriedly behind her. I sweep her long, unruly hair to the side, enjoying the soft strands as they move through my fingers. Unzipping her dress slowly is agonizing, but I want her to know exactly what I’m doing. Where I’m going. And give her time to change her mind if she needs to.

I want her to know I’m not like the other guys she’s been with. I won’t be pissed if she needs to stop. I can wait
longer. I want her, but I want her enough to wait.

The zipper hits the end of the seam and she lets it fall from her arms, down to her hips where she wiggles the rest of the way out of it. I just watch, mesmerized by her body’s
graceful movements, until the red material hits the floor.

I swear she gets sexier with eac
h passing day. And not just sexier. More beautiful—inside and out. Annie’s emerging from her shell, becoming more confident. More open. For me.

I touch my fingers hesitantly to her face, letting my thumb caress her cheek. “You are so…” I trail off because I can’t say pretty. Pretty isn’t big enough. Beautiful
fits, but sounds so cliché.

She’s s
taring up at me with wide blue eyes, waiting. On me.

“Per
fect,” I say, smiling. She laughs softly as her hand cups around my wrist. The humor fades quickly as I incline until our lips are once again touching and I’m claiming her mouth. As her tongue brushes mine, I slide my hands up her back. I unclasp her bra, pausing before I slip it off her shoulders, and then ever so slowly down her arms.

I see her hands twitch as I relea
se the material from my grasp. I think she’s fighting the urge to cover herself, her cheeks heating.

I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how someone like Annie can cling to such a distorted view of herself. Will she ever know how incredible she is? Will she ever be able to see it?

“You’re perfect,” I reassure her.

She closes her eyes, her body trembling as she takes a deep breath. When she looks at me again, I see resolution in her eyes. I have no idea what it means because the girl will always be somewhat of a mystery to me, but I don’t ask. I don’t say a word. I just watch as she tugs the belt from the loops and unfastens my pants.

I scoop her up and swing her onto my bed. Taking just a moment, I gaze down at her. Soak up every inch of her lying naked on top of my sheets.

She begins to remove her panties. A little, silky thing that shouldn’t be considered underwear, but that looks sexy as hell on her body. I slide o
ut of my boxers, and remove a condom from my nightstand, my eyes meeting hers as I roll it on. I crawl over her, stopping one last time, making sure this is what she wants.

That
I’m
what she wants. Because this isn’t just sex. Not for me.

She pulls me into her and I freeze.

“Annie…” I can’t manage more than that. I’ve waited so long for this and there are no words for how incredible she feels wrapped around me. My heart feels whole suddenly. I never realized anything had been missing until this moment. I want to plunge deeper, but I hold myself still, enjoying her warmth, and memorizing every detail.

“Shh,” she whispers. Her fingers work into my hair and she guides me
closer. She bites at my lip. I groan as I begin to move. She’s so wet and I don’t know how long I’ll last. Her breaths come quicker. Her hips move with mine. She grips my shoulder, her nails sinking into the skin there.

Shit
.

I duck my head and pull one pink nipple into my mouth, sucking hard. She jerks in my arms and holds onto my neck.

“Chase,” she pants. I look up into her eyes and the way she watches me feverishly kiss her breast turns me on so much more. I trail my tongue down the space between, and then slowly make my way back up. I glance up to make sure she’s still watching.

“You taste perfect, too.” I thrust into her, pulling a moan from her lips. She wraps her legs around me and we move in uni
son. Coming together and sliding apart just to come together again. Over and over. I press my lips to her hair, her cheeks, her lips, her neck—everywhere—as we find our bliss.

I f
all onto the bed, curving my body around hers. She snuggles into me, sighing contently. Tonight has been pretty much…
perfect
. I watched two close friends get married. Then this.
Finally
this. She was worth every second of the wait.

This
girl I’ve loved for so long.

I feel myself
smile as my eyes grow heavy.

~*~

When I open my eyes, the sun is shining way too brightly. I throw my arm over my eyes and groan.

And then I remember.

My hand slides across the bed, searching. Cool sheets greet me and I peer out from under the curve of my arm. No Annie. My heart lurches, racing in my chest.

No.

She ran.

A bright pink post-it, one of hers
, is stuck to the pillow. She wrote me a freaking Dear John letter on a post-it? I pluck it up and squint at it, my heart in my throat.

And then I drop my head as something akin to relief washes th
rough me, but stronger. So much stronger.

I hold the post-it above me, reading it once more, because as Annie would say:
“it sticks better reading it a second time.”

Three words.

Three prefect words left for me to find.

I love you
.

I swallow tightly as I smile, stuck somewhere between awe and
joy.

She said it first.

45

I Will Not Bow

Annie

I told him.

Okay, I didn’t
tell
him in the sense I spoke the words to his face, but he knows.

Chase knows I love him. Or he will as soon as he wakes up
and finds the note I left him.

I’m sitting in the common room, freshly showered, working on homework before my shift at the library. But I’m a mess. I can’t concentrate. I’m worried how Chase will react. What if he doesn’t feel the same? Maybe his feelings aren’t as strong as mine. What if I rushed this and scared him off?

I’m not sure my heart can take it.

I look at
my phone for the thirtieth time in the past hour.

I shouldn’t have left it in a note.

What was I thinking?

Some things are just better left unsaid.

Maybe I should go back over there.

Can I take something like that back?

Should I?

Do I want to?

“Ugh.” I throw my book across the room, glaring at it as if it’s the cause of my angst. And then I sigh as I hurry to pick it up.

This is stupid. I’m going back over there. The new Annie isn’t like this. She’s not ashamed of how she feels.

I pull the door open and gasp.

Before I have a chance to react, he’s pushing me back, slamming the door, and spinning to press me into it. His mouth comes down on mine, his warm tongue stroking mine hungrily.

“I love you, too,” Chase breathes, his lips still on mine.

I knot my fingers into his hair holding him against me
, because if I don’t, I may fall apart.

He loves me too
.

“
For so long.”

My breath hitches and I bite his lip, quieting him as I tug it into my mouth, licking and sucking. I can’
t hear anymore. I can’t take it.

I feel like the Grinch—m
y heart just grew three sizes.

Okay,
this
is my happiest place—anywhere with Chase and the knowledge he loves me.

“I can’t believe you left it on a post-it,” he utters. “I thought you ran again.”

I shake my head, unable to speak.

He kisses my forehead, his arms wrapped around me securely. “Does this mean we can start telling people we’re together?”

Together?

I nod slowly. “Okay.”

He grins as his hands slide up to cup my face. “It took you long enough.”

I scoff, pointing to myself. “First.”

He laughs, his eyes crinkling happily. “But I said the words first.” His thumb smoothes over my cheek languidly.

True.
And hearing it was probably a hell of a lot better than getting a note.

“
I’m sorry it took me so long.” I inhale harshly. “I love you, Chase.”

He closes his eyes, absorbing my words. When he looks at me again, I wonder how I didn’t know how he felt before. It’s written so plainly in
his eyes.

“Worth the wait,” he says adamantly. “Well worth it.”

~*~

I get off work around nine and hurry back to my dorm. Chase is p
icking me up soon for our first official date.

There have been a lot of firsts in the past couple days.

First of our friends getting married.

First time Chase and I made love.

Our first I-love-yous.

Now our first—long overdue—date.

My phone rings and I fish it out of my purse, smiling at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he drawls, his voice low and sexy.

“I was just thinking about you,” I say, pausing outside my bedroom door.

“You’ve been on my mind, too. I can’t wait to see you.”

“I just got home. Give me twenty minutes?”

“I might be able to manage fifteen,” he replies. I can hear the promising smile in his voice and my belly clenches with anticipation.

“Okay. I’ll hurry.”

“`Kay. Love you.”

It affects
me as strongly as the first time he spoke those words. “I love you, too.”

I drop my purse
and phone on my desk and turn on the lamp, trying to decide what I want to wear. I feel like I should dress a little nicer because it’s a special occasion. Not that I plan on staying clothed for long. Oh. Maybe I should borrow Hannah’s nurse costume. Chase would love that. I grin with the idea as I turn toward my closet.

Something smashes into my chest, sending me staggering back
against the wall, my head hitting hard with a loud thud. Bright dots fill my vision as I blink in surprise.

And then he’s there.

Loden.

His hand clamps around my throat, squeezing, as he brings his face close to mine. I can smell the alcohol on his breath, hot and foul. “You were
fucking
him the whole time you were with me. Weren’t. You.” His voice is a slurred snarl, sending a shiver of dread down my spine.

He pulls me forward and slams me back into the wall.
I want to scream, but his hand is squeezing too tightly. I can’t draw the air into my lungs.

“Were you
laughing at me while you fucked him behind my back? So funny, huh, Annie? You aren’t laughing now.”

I shake my head, my eyes wide. I can’t think. I’m panicking, trying desperately to get a breath. I claw at his fingers. Kick out at his knees. He’s like a
wall—immovable.

I reach out, my hand smacking along the desk, searching for anything I can use to get him off me. I feel the cup of pencils spill. Notebooks drop to the floor. The lamp tips sideways, falling out of my reach. My palm rolls over one of the pencils and I pick it up, gripping it tightly in my hand, and swing it blindly.

Loden groans in shock and pain as it sinks into his bicep, and then he releases me. I gasp, inhaling harshly before I shove him back. He stumbles, caught off guard, but catches himself on the dresser, and focuses on removing the pencil from his arm. I snatch my purse, fondling around inside, searching for my phone as I wrench the door open.

Loden yanks me back by my hair, swinging me into the wall
like a ragdoll. I hit on my side and slide to the floor. He stalks toward me, fury and rage twisting his features. His eyes are cold as they stare down at me.

All I can manage is a weak,
trembling whimper as he moves closer.

I dig my nails into the carpet, pulling myself onto all fours. And then I crawl toward the open door. If I can just get out to the common room, maybe someone will hear me. Maybe I can yell for help.

God, what if nobody’s here?

Please let one of my dorm mates be home.

Please
.

Loden stomps down on my hand and I
finally scream. He cuts it off short with a backhand, quick and hard, to my mouth. I try to curl in on myself, trying to hide from his next blow.

“You are so pathetic,” he spits. His hand is back in my hair, jerking my head up, so I’m forced to look at him. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think I would let him have you?” I watch his fingers close, making a fist, and I close my eyes, knowing what’s coming next.
I don’t know if I’m going numb or if it’s because I was expecting it this time, but when his knuckles make contact with my jaw, it doesn’t hurt as badly as I anticipated.

Maybe he’s too drunk.

I shove myself up, taking advantage of his inebriated state. My head snaps into his chin. He staggers back, his eyes glossing, either with pain or insanity.

I hope it’s pain.

I don’t wait around to find out. I lurch forward, running through the door. My vision blurs, but I don’t stop. I just need to make it through one more door.

Loden tackle
s me, sending me to the floor once again, and I cry out as the wind’s knocked from my lungs. My mouth strikes against the floor and I bite my lip. The metallic bitterness of blood fills my mouth. I keep trying to crawl forward, my fingertips working to drag me, but Loden’s weight is too heavy. Suffocating.

As Loden
flips me over, I see one of the bedroom doors open. One of my dorm mates gasps and hurries back inside her room.

Why isn’t she helping me?

I need help.

Please
.

Help
.

“You fucking worthless bitch. You’re going to pay for that.” He’s sitting on my chest, one hand
wiping at the blood dripping from his mouth, the other clenching my throat. He smears his blood across my face, pressing hard into my cheek. I close my eyes out of instinct when his fingers come too close.

Is that knocking? I can’t be sure. My hearing is coming and going, replaced with a humming, growing louder the longer I go without air.

Oh, please let someone be here to help me
.

“Look what you did.”

He beats my head into the floor. “LOOK what you DID,” he screams, his blood and saliva spraying in a hot mist across my face. I squirm, struggling beneath him, and try to hit him, but I can barely form a fist.

I can’t breathe.

Air. What a precious gift I always took for granted.

This is how I’m going to die.

Oh, my God.
I’m going to die
.

My eyes are wide, pleading, as I stare at Loden. He has a cruel smile plastered on his face and
I know he’s not going to show me any mercy. Darkness begins to invade my sight as my eyes droop, feeling heavy.

And then his hands are dragging along my skin, clawing, trying to cling to me as he’s propelled backwards off me. A blur dashes over top of me, but I’m coughing,
choking. My eyes fill with tears that fall quickly as I crabwalk, skittering away, not even sure which way I’m going.

I
wheeze, gasping for air several times before I can finally fill my lungs.

Hands touch my face and
I scream, slapping them away. My legs lash out, kicking frantically.

NO. Don’t touch me. No more.

No more.

No more
.

“Annie. It’s me.”

I blink, trying to clear my eyes.
Chase
.

He touches me again
, brushing the hair out of my face. He inhales sharply, his eyes darkening in a way I’ve never witnessed before. I draw back as he pushes himself to his feet.

He wa
lks deliberately over to Loden, who is grunting and moaning on the floor, and lowers himself on top of his chest.

And then Chase is gone, replaced by someone so terrifying, I can’t recognize him any longer.