Lone Star Justice (14 page)

He shook that thought away and led the horse out into the aisle. With one hand on the reins, he watched Brandy mount up. Looked like she knew what she was doing, and the horse was well trained so there'd be no worries there. He handed her the reins. "Take a few minutes to get acquainted while I saddle a horse for your mom."

He moved to the next stall and repeated the process, handing the reins to Maddie and watching her mount with a surety that told him she wasn't long out of practice. When he had his own horse ready to go, he led them out of the barn by the back door, into the round pen. "We're going to spend a few minutes in here until you and your mounts get used to each other, and until I'm sure y'all are ready to head out."

Once he felt comfortable with their riding ability, he picked up a backpack, opened the gate and led them out into the pasture. This was the one place he didn't have to worry about their safety. The dogs would raise a ruckus if a stranger drove onto the property, and with a hundred acres for them to ride, they'd be out of sight of the house in no time. But he carried not only a handgun, but a rifle as well, just in case.

It felt strange to have Maddie back on the ranch. His life felt like it had come full circle. They'd ridden this same trail many times as teenagers, seeking privacy away from his parents' disapproving and watchful eyes. God, how he'd loved Maddie back then. And if he were totally honest with himself, he still did. There were too many hurts between them now to ever go back, but he'd probably always love her. Which was why he was still single.

He'd wanted to marry her, have kids with her, grow old with her. Losing his parents had been hard, but losing Maddie--and his dreams--had been harder. Watching her with her daughter brought everything back. The dreams, the plans they'd made, the love they'd shared. He didn't know if he could ever forgive her for leaving him, but he could damn sure protect her and her daughter.

He hoped.

***

When Rand reined in at the old swimming hole, Maddie wanted to beg him to keep going. There were too many memories here. Flashes of the past bombarded her--idyllic summer days spent skinny dipping, making love under the towering oaks. Picnics and shared secrets. Their first beer. Their first fight.

But he'd already tied the reins to a tree branch before she pulled herself together enough to protest. She slid off her horse and led him over to the others.

Brandy pulled off her shoes and raced to the pond, dipping one foot into the water. She shrieked and yanked it back out. "That's cold!"

Rand laughed. "Yeah, too cold for swimming, but if you're still here by summertime, you can try it out." He unzipped the backpack and pulled out a blanket, soft drinks, and wrapped breakfast sandwiches he admitted he'd made before the sun was even up.

He spread the blanket on the ground and set out the food and drinks. "Breakfast anyone?"

Brandy dropped onto the blanket and grabbed a sandwich. "I'm starved!"

Maddie laughed. "Yeah, I bet you are. You haven't eaten for at least two hours."

"A donut doesn't count." Brandy bit into her sandwich and groaned. "Oh my Go…Gosh. These are really good."

The aroma of egg, sausage, and cheese lured Maddie to the blanket. She sat on the corner opposite from Rand and picked up a sandwich, unwrapping the foil carefully before taking a bite. They were good, better than anything they'd ever picked up at a fast food place. Brandy and Rand chatted for a few minutes, Brandy full of questions and Rand doing his best to answer.

Maddie listened, learning a little more about the man she'd once loved. She didn't realize he'd gone to college and had a degree in criminal justice. She learned he'd gotten that degree while keeping up the home place and working full time, first as a security guard at school, then as a sheriff's deputy for the county. He'd never married, which surprised her. He was a good looking man with a good job. He should have had plenty of opportunities to meet someone.

She had plenty of questions of her own, but for now she let her daughter take the lead. Brandy had waited so long to meet her father. Maddie's questions could wait.

"So," Brandy asked, "how did you meet my mom?"

Rand looked at Maddie, then back at Brandy. "Some girls were harassing her at school our freshman year, and I stepped in. She looked so lost and scared, I had to do something. Then I bought her lunch, and we found we liked each other's company, so we ate lunch together every day."

"Mom said you were her boyfriend all through high school."

"Well, yes. I guess I was."

"Were you in love with her?"

Rand looked helplessly at Maddie, but she wanted to hear his answer herself, so she didn't intervene.

He cleared his throat. "We were very young, Brandy. But yeah, I loved her as much as I ever loved anyone."

"So why didn't you go after her when she left?"

"That's enough, Brandy. You've gone beyond polite questions into downright nosiness." Poor Rand looked so uncomfortable, she had to do something. A change of subject was in order, but she'd been avoiding the subject they most needed to discuss.

Brandy kept looking over at Maddie with a question in her eyes. Maddie knew exactly what she wanted.

Time to pay the piper, Maddie girl
. "So, you're the sheriff, rescue cavalry, and cook. Anything else?"

Rand laughed. "Yeah. marriage counselor, social worker, parade master, boy scout leader. Weapons trainer on occasion, and now bodyguard." He shrugged. "Keeps me busy so I don't have too much time to think."

Maddie took in a deep breath. Now was the time. Could she do it? She looked over at Brandy, who gave her an anxious look, then nodded. Another deep breath. Then she said, "I have another role to add to that list."

Rand cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, and what would that be?"

Maddie took a moment to gather her composure, then looked him in the eye. "Brandy's father."

CHAPTER SIX

Rand felt like he'd been sucker-punched. Brandy was his? He looked at the child intently, trying to see the resemblance. Maybe the nose, maybe the chin, definitely the dimple-- but for the most part she looked like her mother. Was this some kind of sick joke, or had Maddie really run away with his baby in her belly, never in all these years bothering to tell him he had a kid?

Of all the low down, sneaky, cruel things she'd done to him, this was the lowest. He'd missed thirteen years. Thirteen goddamned years of his daughter's life.

Maddie had stolen more from him than she knew. The chance at a normal life with a woman he loved, the chance to have a family.

Damn!

"Dad?" Brandy was on the verge of tears, biting her lower lip.

Hell, this wasn't the kid's fault. But it sure as hell was Maddie's. He refused to look at her, turning his attention to his daughter. He stood up and started across the blanket. Brandy jumped to her feet and met him halfway, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Rand didn't quite know what to do. He'd never been a father before. He patted her back, but that didn't feel right, so he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. Now
that
felt right. A wave of protectiveness swept through him. This was his
daughter,
and if anyone ever hurt her, he'd kill them with his bare hands.

Maddie moved into his line of sight, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You and I need to talk. Privately," he mouthed over Brandy's head. Maddie nodded.

Brandy squirmed in his arms and he let her go. His shirt was damp where she'd rested her head, and her face was splotchy from crying. Hell. He'd been alone so long he had no idea what to do with a woman's tears. He pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to Brandy.

Now what did he do? He knew he should say something, but he had no idea what. What did a father say to the daughter he'd just learned was his? He cleared his throat. For some reason he was having a hard time finding his voice. "Well."

Maddie dried her tears on her shirt sleeve. "Deep subject for a shallow mind, as dad used to say."

Rand chuckled. "Yeah, well, I don't know about the shallow mind part, but the subject's pretty deep." He reached out and pulled Brandy to his side with an arm around her shoulders. "I'm going to need a little bit to process this new development," he said, looking down at Brandy's upturned face, "but I want you to know I couldn't be prouder to be your dad. Your mom's done a good job of raising you. I just wish I'd had a chance to be there."

Brandy ducked her head. "Yeah, me too."

Rand looked up at Maddie. "So, where do we go from here?"

She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea. This all came up so fast, I really haven't had a chance to think things through. I just knew I had to tell you before someone else did."

Rand bent down and started picking up the sandwich wrappers and soda cans, stuffing them into the backpack. "I guess I should be grateful for that. But why in the hell did you run, Maddie? Why didn't you come back when you realized you were carrying my baby? How could you do that to me? To all of us? I loved you."

"I know. And I'm sorry. But if you'll give me a chance, I'll explain everything. But not here," she said with a glance at Brandy. "Not now."

"If not now, then when?"

She took a shaky breath. "Later today. Let me find someone to stay with Brandy and we'll talk."

They rode single file back to the barn, no one talking, which bothered Rand more than Brandy's normal chattiness. Had he handled this all wrong? Did he not do something he should have, or do something he shouldn't have? Did all dads feel this way, or did they grow into the role along with their kids so they knew how to handle the awkward moments?

He was a father
. He couldn't quite believe it, but he knew Maddie wouldn't lie about something so important. At least now he understood a little more about why Maddie had come to him when her--
their
--daughter was threatened.

***

Linda was more than happy to let Brandy hang out with her and her granddaughter. She was taking them to lunch and a movie in Forney, which would give Maddie about four hours to try and explain the last fourteen years.

She tried to think what to say to Rand as she drove back to the ranch. So much of that year was a blur. Too much had happened all at once, and she'd never really sat down and tried to make sense of it all. She'd been so determined not to look back that she'd shut down all her emotions to get through the trying times ahead.

All she could do was take him back to a few days before the murders and bring him up to date on her life after that.

Rand was waiting on the porch when she arrived. Her hands shook as she put the car in gear and stepped out.
Quit worrying so much. This is Rand. He'd never hurt you.

At least, that was what she'd thought back then. But she knew now just how much he could hurt her by shutting her out, refusing to talk to her when she had no one else to talk to.

She climbed the steps, feeling like she was headed for her own execution.

His face was somber as he took her hand and led her to the porch swing. "You said you didn't think you could go inside the house, so I thought we'd sit out here."

Oh God. That was almost as bad. So many dreams and plans they'd talked over in that swing. So many mistakes made. But if it was a choice between the house and the swing, then the swing it was.

He'd made lemonade and he poured her a glass. She took it and settled at one end of the swing. He prudently sat at the other end, giving her a bit of space. What she really wanted to do was lay down with her head in his lap like she used to. It had always been so easy to talk to him back then. She'd known he loved her, and she'd felt safe with him. But not this time.

Neither spoke for several minutes. Maddie gulped the lemonade, emptying the glass.

"More? he asked, picking up the crystal pitcher.

Maddie shook her head. "No. I'm fine." That was a lie. She was anything but fine. She was exhausted from very little sleep the night before, and about to have the talk she'd dreaded for years. "I don't really know where to start, so I guess I'll start at the beginning."

"That sounds like a good plan."

She took a deep breath. "I found out I was pregnant a few weeks before your parents die…were killed. I'd taken a home pregnancy test, but Doc confirmed it. Of course he knew who the father was. He talked to me for over an hour about having an abortion, said I didn't want to ruin your life with an unwanted pregnancy, that we were too young for so much responsibility. I finally told him I'd think about it, just so he'd let me go. He gave me the name of a doctor in Dallas who would do it, and even offered to do it himself if I wanted him to. I just wanted to get out of there, so I took the name and left."

She saw Rand's hands bunch into fists, his jaw set, but he remained silent.

"I went home. I needed time to think before I talked to you. I had big plans, big dreams, and a baby would have destroyed those. And your parents…I didn't even want to think about what your parents would say. But being young, and stupid, a few days later I went to the pharmacy to fill the prescription for prenatal vitamins Doc had given me."