Lola Rose (20 page)

It seemed like a whole day had passed but it was less than an hour. I switched on the telly to check the time because I was sure our clock had stopped.

Kendall and I watched for a while but then there was a hospital programme and I changed channels. We watched some comedy but we didn't laugh. It was like we were tuned into our own hospital channel, watching our mum being wheeled off to an operating theatre where men in masks attacked her with sharp instruments.

Kendall nudged nearer until he was sitting on my lap. I rested my chin on his head. His crewcut was growing out. He looked like a little baby duckling.

‘You hair's so cute now, Kendall.'

Kendall stiffened. ‘I want it cut off!'

‘No, it's much nicer now.'

‘I don't want to look nice. I don't want to look cute. I want to look tough.'

Dad had always marched him to the barber's for a number one hair cut. He didn't look tough. He looked like a bald little baby but Dad went on about him being a real tough nut.

‘We don't see Dad now,' Kendall whispered to George. He turned round to me. ‘We will still see Mum, won't we?'

‘Of course we will! Tomorrow, when she comes back from the hospital.'

‘Promise?'

‘I promise,' I said.

The Voice of Doom mocked me.
How can you promise that? Maybe she won't ever come back
.

The Voice talked to me half the night. I felt so lonely, even cuddled up to Kendall. I clutched my Pinkie teddy bear like a sad little toddler. I heard Miss Parker's radio rumbling away underneath me. Then I heard the creak of floorboards above my head and the gurgle of water pipes when Steve or Andy went to the loo. Cars went past. Cats yowled. Drunks shouted. Then there were footsteps outside.

Every time anyone walked along the pavement I tensed up.

The night went on and on for ever.

The mobile rang when Kendall and I were having breakfast.

‘Mum! Oh Mum!' I said. ‘Are you OK? Does it hurt? Are you coming home now?'

‘I wish!' said Mum. ‘I haven't had the blooming operation yet. They faffed around yesterday with blood tests and X-rays. They're doing the operation this morning. They're not letting me have any breakfast and I'm
starving
.'

‘So – so when will you be back?' I said, all my relief draining away.

‘Well, that's the problem, sweetheart. This nurse says I won't come round from the anaesthetic for hours, and even then I'll be so groggy I won't be able to put one foot in front of the other. And they'll have to change the dressings and there might be a drain too—'

‘What's a drain?'

‘
I
don't know. Look, darling, I can't go into all the ins and outs of it. I've borrowed the mobile from the lady in the bed next to me seeing as you've got mine so I'll have to be quick. Let me say hello to Kendall.'

I handed the phone over to him. Mum was obviously asking him questions because he kept nodding.

‘
Say
something, Kendall – Mum can't see you,' I said.

‘Hello, Mum,' said Kendall. ‘Mum, can I go and see the real George again? Will you take me? And can I have some more toy sharks and then if we got some glass I could have my own aquarium and – Ouch! Stop it, Lola Rose! Give me the phone back, it's
my
turn to talk to Mum.'

‘She doesn't want to listen to you burbling on about your stupid sharks,' I said. ‘Mum?'

‘You kids,' said Mum. ‘Look, Lola Rose, I'll try to give you a ring tomorrow morning some time. I'll have to go now. Bye, darling. Be a good girl, eh?'

The phone went dead.

‘You hurt me when you pushed me!' Kendall said, rubbing his chest. ‘I think you've given me cancer now.'

‘Shut
up
, Kendall.'

‘You're so mean to me.
Everyone's
mean to me,' Kendall whined. ‘
Mum's
mean. She said she'd be back today and I need her.'

‘I need her too,' I said. ‘Now stop complaining, finish your cornflakes and get ready for school.'

I was glad to get there. It made everything seem more normal. I didn't want to discuss Mum with Harpreet. Luckily we had a sex education lesson and we didn't discuss anything else all day. We watched a film where you actually saw this family undressed, totally naked. The whole class got the giggles, especially at the dad. The teacher got a bit narked and said she was disappointed in us for behaving so immaturely. She said there was nothing funny about human bodies.

‘I think they're hilarious!' Harpreet whispered. ‘That dad's willy! Yuck! Imagine him just walking around like that – it's disgusting. And the mum was just as bad showing off her boobies. I've never seen my mum and dad bare. I did walk in on my brother once in the bathroom and he got really really mad at me.'

‘What's your brother look like then, Harpreet?'

Harpreet went into a peal of giggles – and when she found a banana in her lunch box at break we laughed so much we nearly wet ourselves.

I wanted to keep on and on laughing. I whispered to Harpreet all afternoon. I got told off twice and ended up being sent to Ms Balsam.

I thought I was going to get told off big time now. I didn't really care. I thought I might argue back, even throw a tantrum like Kendall.

But Ms Balsam simply sat me down and offered me a chocolate. I shook my head although they were posh chocolates in a big gift box.

‘Go on, help me out. I'm supposed to be on a diet but they're so tempting. You eat a couple for me, there's a good girl.'

I helped myself to a milk chocolate truffle. ‘Everyone keeps telling me to be a good girl,' I said, with my mouth full.

‘I take it you've been behaving like a bad girl today?' said Ms Balsam. She picked out a dark chocolate cherry. ‘Just to keep you company,' she said, popping it in her mouth.

She rattled the box at me and I chose a raspberry cream – white chocolate with a little raised tip of pink. It looked like a tiny doll's breast. I wondered what I was doing, stuffing my face with chocolate when my mum was in hospital. The sticky chocolate stuck to my teeth. My stomach lurched. I clapped my hand to my mouth.

‘In here, quickly,' said Ms Balsam, leaping up. She steered me rapidly across the room. She opened a door and I was sick into her private toilet. Ms Balsam tucked my hair behind my ears and held my forehead. ‘There, there,' she murmured.

When I was done she wiped my face with her own flannel and gave me a glass of water to sip. ‘Bit of a waste of my chocolates!' she said. ‘Still, you did it very neatly. Well done!'

I giggled weakly.

‘So what's the problem, Lola Rose?' Ms Balsam sat on the edge of her desk, looking at me.

‘I suppose I've got a tummy bug,' I said.

‘Hmm,' said Ms Balsam. ‘There's certainly something bugging
you
. You're not still hanging around with Ross and his little gang, are you?'

‘No. I can't stick them now.'

‘What about Peter? He's a good lad at heart. If you fancy a friend he'd maybe fit the bill.'

‘I don't want a
boy
friend. I'm happy with Harpreet.'

‘Yes, I like Harpreet too – lovely girl. You're both lovely girls – but I gather you've been very giggly girls today. Giggling about sex, is that right?'

‘Sort of.'

‘Well. It
can
seem a bit funny at times. But let's hope you're over the giggles now. I should pop back to your classroom and apologize nicely, unless you think you might be sick again. Maybe I should send you home to Mum.'

I bit my lip. ‘No, I'm fine,' I said, getting up quickly.

Ms Balsam put her hand on my shoulder. ‘Mum's OK, isn't she, Lola Rose?'

The walls closed in. The floor wavered. I wanted to clutch Ms Balsam and weep against her chest. But I remembered what Mum had said.
Don't let her worm anything out of you else you'll be put into care
.

‘Mum's fine,' I said, shrugging my shoulder away.

I went back to class and said sorry and sat meekly for the rest of lessons, head down, keeping out of trouble. Harpreet and I had a giggle again on the way home. I kept whispering worse and worse things to set her off. I hated saying goodbye to her when we got to the Gabries' house.

Then it was just Kendall and me.

‘Tell me something to make me laugh, Kendall,' I said. ‘Go on, tell us a joke.'

‘I know an elephant joke. Well, I think I do,' said Kendall.

He didn't. His joke went on for ages and then he forgot the punch line.

‘OK, I'll tell you a joke,' I said.

‘I don't think I like jokes,' said Kendall.

‘Yes you do. I'll tell you one you'll like. What's yellow and dangerous?'

Kendall peered at me, his face screwed up anxiously.

‘What's yellow and dangerous?' I repeated.

Kendall gave a high-pitched laugh.

‘Why are you laughing?'

‘Because it's a funny joke.'

‘I haven't told it yet! Think, Kendall. What's yellow and dangerous?'

The Voice of Doom suddenly spoke, right behind my eyes, making them blink.
If he guesses the right answer your mother will be all right!

I shook my head to try to shake myself free of it. Kendall shook his head too, copying me. His head looked as if it might snap straight off his little stalk neck.

‘Don't, Kendall.' I grabbed his head and held it still. ‘Now listen. This is such an easy-peasy joke. I'm sure you've heard it heaps of times before. What's
yellow
and
dangerous
?'

I saw Kendall mouth
yellow
and
dangerous
. He was trying, I knew he was.

‘I'll give you a clue, shall I? George would like this joke.'

‘No he wouldn't. George doesn't like jokes either,' said Kendall.

‘He'd like this one because it's about him. And you'll like it because it's about a yummy pudding. The old-fashioned sort that grans make.'

‘I wish we had a gran,' said Kendall. ‘Then she could look after us. Why haven't we got a gran?'

‘She died.'

‘Did she get run over?'

‘No, she died of . . .' I couldn't say the word.

The Voice of Doom started up again.

‘Think about the joke, Kendall!' I said, gripping him by the shoulders. I knew I was being ridiculous. It didn't make any difference whether Kendall knew the stupid joke or not. But I couldn't help myself. I went on saying it over and over again until Kendall cried.

‘It's shark-infested custard!' I screamed at last.

I had a mad vision of Mum struggling in thick yellow custard, surrounded by sharks. I tried to argue with the Voice.

‘Mum's going to be all right,' I said inside my head. ‘She had the operation this morning and now she's right as rain and she'll come back home as soon as she can. She might even be home already, lying on her bed, waiting to give us a big surprise.'

I knew there wasn't much chance but I couldn't help hoping.

I ran down the road, Kendall trailing after me. The Voice of Doom changed tack, telling me if I could get indoors before it counted one hundred then Mum would really be there. I got in the front door just as it reached ninety.

Mum wasn't there. I ran into every room, calling.

Kendall stood just inside the front door, nibbling at his thumb. ‘Mum isn't coming back, is she?' he said.

‘Yes, she is! As soon as she can. She'll phone us any minute now, because she'll know we're home from school.'

I put the mobile on the table. We looked and looked and looked at it.

‘I expect she's having her tea,' I said. ‘We'll have
our
tea, shall we?'

I opened the last tin of baked beans and made some toast. The bread had gone a little mouldy but I picked off the blue bits. I needn't have bothered. Kendall just fiddled about with his beans, spearing them on his fork one at a time, licking them and then lining them up on his plate. He didn't even touch his toast.

For once in my life I didn't feel like eating either. I could barely swallow my cup of tea. I kept watching the mobile. The battery was getting low. I didn't know if you could still take calls while it was recharging.

I stared until my eyes watered. Why wasn't she phoning? She knew we were waiting. She knew we were worried. Maybe the woman in the next bed wouldn't let her use her mobile.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I looked in the call register of the phone and found the number. Then I dialled it. I had to give it several goes because my hands were trembling.