Loaded: A Bad Boy Romance (38 page)

T
he closer they
got to Fjords, the quieter Leah got. At the casino, far away from her family and especially from her father, she’d felt considerably braver. But now, all she could imagine was his pure alpha rage. She’d only seen him disobeyed a handful of times before, and it had never been her — despite everything, up until now, she’d been the good daughter.

Now, he was likely to hit the roof and go through it.

There was nothing he could do, though. Nathan was her mate now, officially, and there was nothing that her father could do to change that.

Bears mated for life, after all.

Though, there was a small problem: technically, they hadn’t mated. It was a two-part ritual: first the wedding, then the mating. And while what they’d done in bed had been incredible, it hadn’t, technically, been
mating
.

Technically, she was still a virgin, and she was afraid that her father might be able to tell.

It doesn’t matter
, she told herself.
You’re still married. You’re still his, and you’ve still been way more intimate with him than with anyone else.

Part of her felt guilty, though, that she hadn’t completely given herself to him yet. True, he hadn’t asked, and he seemed completely happy with what they were doing.

Still, Leah
wanted
to give him her virginity. She was just nervous about the logistics.

As he drove, Nathan looked over at her. He reached over and squeezed her hand.

“I’m right here,” he said.

She squeezed back.

“I know,” she said.

B
y the time
they reached the driveway to the house where her family was staying, Leah thought that her heart might beat clear out of her chest. She felt a mixture of brave and terrified; for the first time, she wasn’t under her father’s thumb anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do something. He wouldn’t hurt her — he’d never do that — but he could still fight Nathan or cut her off from her siblings who were still under his protection.

Like her little sister, Emily.

Nathan pulled the car up next to her family’s van and cut the engine. Leah just stared straight ahead, trying to gather her wits.

He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it tight.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.”

“No,” she said.

Nathan raised his eyebrows.

“I’m going to tell him,” she said, squeezing his hand back. The fury was growing inside her, threatening to take her over.

She’d spent thirty-two years doing what her father wanted her to, and now, she was free, and it felt wonderful. She wanted to be the one to tell him that she’d defied him and see the look on his face when he realized he’d lost control.

Deep inside, her bear growled with satisfaction.

“Let’s go,” Leah said.

Nathan didn’t argue, just got out of the car and followed his wife to her front door.

As Leah raised her hand to knock, the door flew open.

“Leah!” her mother exclaimed, nearly knocking the girl down opening the screen door. She took her daughter in a bear hug, her gray hair tangling together with Leah’s bright orange hair.

“Oh my god, I was so worried,” she said, squeezing her daughter so tight that Leah could hardly breathe. “Are you okay? You disappeared and we thought the worst...”

With one final squeeze, she backed up and took her daughter’s face in her hands.

“I’m fine, mom,” Leah said, smiling. “And I got married.”

Tears rose into Margaret Whitehorse’s eyes.

“Are you happy?” she whispered.

“I am,” she said.

As her mom hugged her again, Leah could see a tall form darken the hallway behind her.

“Leah,” her father said.

“Father,” Leah said. She still stood in the doorway, Nathan quiet behind her.

“Come in,” he said.

Margaret released their daughter and stepped aside and let Leah and Nathan come in. Leah’s father stood still, and Leah could almost feel the anger radiating off of him.

There’s nothing he can do
, she reminded herself.

Nathan slid his hand into hers and squeezed it gently.

“You disobeyed me,” her father said.

His voice chilled her to the core, but Leah clenched her jaw and stood up straighter.

“I didn’t want to marry Ian,” she said. “I wanted to marry Nathan. So I did.”

“I don’t see rings.”

“We haven’t gotten them yet,” she said, her face going hot.

“What kind of man marries a woman without a ring?”

“Ian didn’t give me a ring,” she said, feeling her rage flicker brightly.

“He had approval,” Jonah said. He stepped forward, and Leah could see his eyes flash with anger. “I know what’s best for you, Leah. And that isn’t some violent playboy. Did Ian show you what he did to your cousin?”

Nathan started to say something but Leah cut him off, her words sharp.

“Nathan didn’t do that,” she said. “You know he didn’t.”

“He’s lying,” her father said, simply. “You have no reason to trust someone who’d bedded so many women he can’t even count them.”

Then he sniffed the air for a second, a slow realization coming onto his face, and addressed Nathan.

“Have you mated her yet?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Yes,” Leah said firmly. She turned bright red, but her eyes were still flashing.

“Jonah,” Margaret said.

“Quiet,” he told her.

“I will not,” she said, marching past Leah and Nathan and right up to her husband. “Can’t you see how happy they are? You got what you wanted. She married into the North Star clan. Aren’t you satisfied?”

Leah’s father put his hands up, palms out, as if to ward off his wife’s demands, and Leah saw that the knuckles of his right hand were cut open.

Realization dawned on her.

“You beat up Carson,” she said.

“The hell are you talking about?” he asked, distracted for a moment. For the first time in years, Leah could tell that she’d caught her father off-guard.

“You beat up Carson so Ian could pin it on Nathan,” she said.

There was a creak at the top of the staircase to her right, and she looked up to see all three of her sisters and two brothers peering down, all watching the argument.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, but he put his hands down, hiding the knuckles of his right behind his left.

“How could you say those things about Nathan when you did that to your own flesh and blood?” Leah said. Now she was starting to shout. “Carson’s your
nephew
.”

“Did you, Jonah?” asked her mom, her voice nearly a whisper.

For the first time that she’d ever seen, Leah’s father looked almost lost, between his eldest daughter and his wife.

He was silent for a moment, and Leah could sense his bear threatening to break free, the muscles in his face working desperately.

Then he turned to Leah, taking a step toward her, towering over her. Behind her, Nathan stepped forward as well, more than willing to fight her father, but Leah held him back with one hand.

“You’ll come around someday,” Jonah said, smirking. “When he decides that he’s going to go back to having a different woman every week, and when he goes back to doing his alpha’s dirty work. People don’t change, Leah.”

“Maybe you don’t, father,” she said. Deep down, she was terrified, but she’d also never felt braver. “The rest of us still have a chance.”

Her father gave her a long, withering glare, looked once at Nathan, and then stormed out of the narrow hallway.

For a moment, there was dead silence. Then all of Leah’s siblings charged down the stairs, her sisters in the lead, and practically jumped on top of her, drowning her in hugs.

“You’re back!”

“You got
married
!”

“To him! Who knew?”

“Tell me everything!”

This is why I came back
, she thought, practically lifted off the floor by the enthusiasm of her sisters.

“Okay, okay,” she said. “Everyone calm down.”

She walked into the sitting room, surrounded by her family, and looked over her shoulder as she did.

Still in the hallway, she saw her mother approach Nathan, still standing where Leah had left him, looking a little surprised and bowled over by her sisters’ enthusiasm.

Her mother said something to him, and Nathan responded.

Then they hugged.

It’s going to be a work in progress
, Leah thought, only to have her thoughts interrupted by Abigail’s whisper.

“Did you do it yet?” she asked with a wink.

Leah turned pink.

Her sisters all giggled.

L
eah and Nathan
didn’t see her father again that day, despite staying at the house for dinner.

Afterward, Nathan insisted on doing the dishes and chased all the women out of the kitchen.

“I’ve lived by myself for almost twenty years,” he told a fretting Margaret. “I can clean a kitchen.”

The women congregated in the dining room, not really sure what to do or how to relax.

“Ian left,” Emily volunteered.

Rebecca and Abigail nodded.

“What do you mean?” Leah asked, twisting her napkin in her hands.

“His store is closed up,” Emily said. “And I heard Father talking to Brock about it. Whatever you told him really worked.”

Leah smiled, still looking down into her lap.

“He was kind of creepy,” said Rebecca.

“And too old for you,” added Abigail.

“Nathan’s much cuter,” said Rebecca. “And he’s got a great body.”

Abigail punched her sister playfully in the arm.

“He has very nice eyes,” her mother said, diplomatically. “And he does the dishes.”

Leah could hear her father stomping around on the floor above, but she didn’t care anymore. It was obvious that she’d won.

“Leah,” her mother started, then stopped. She frowned, as if looking for the right words. She sighed. “I’m so sorry I missed your wedding.”

“Mom, it’s—”

“Let me finish,” her mother said, some of the formality coming back into her voice. “I didn’t want to miss my daughter’s wedding, but let us throw you a reception, at least. To welcome Nathan to the family and you to the North Star clan.”

Leah smiled.

“Of course, mom,” she said.

“Father won’t have any of that,” observed Abigail.

Rebecca just shrugged.

“Forget Father,” said Emily. “Let’s have a party.”

Leah looked around at her family, listening to the dishes clink together in the next room.

We’re gonna be okay
, she thought.

T
he next day
, Leah drove Nathan to work and then took the car into town. Her mother let her clean out her room the night before, but all she had were dresses made from floral, ugly patterned cloth. They all had long sleeves and came down to mid-calf.

She didn’t own pants or shorts or even skirts that showed her knee, and she definitely didn’t own any high heeled shoes.

She definitely,
definitely
didn’t own anything sexy, or anything that could be considered lingerie-adjacent. The best she had were the white bras and white panties she wore with her frumpy dresses, and they just weren’t attractive at all.

Nathan hadn’t said anything. He was more than happy to just rip her dresses off and then make her come again and again, but she really wanted to show him something sexy.

Besides, they’d been married for three days and they still hadn’t, technically, mated.

The first night, Leah had been plenty nervous about it. She just couldn’t imagine that big hard thing somehow going inside her, and she was certain it would hurt and never, ever work. But then she’d been thoroughly introduced, to Nathan’s fingers and tongue.

It had been a convincing argument that the act of mating —
putting the penis in the vagina
, she thought, blushing — could be pretty fun.

She left the mall with an armful of pretty-but-practical clothes. Short skirts, pants, a pair of high heels. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was going to wear all of it, but she’d find something, she figured.

“
D
o you want a cocktail
?” Nathan called. He was in the kitchen, making himself a drink. Leah was in the bedroom, putting away the clothes she’d bought that day.

He hadn’t said anything, but he was secretly hoping that there was something in those bags besides more frumpy dresses and long skirts. Some skirts that showed her knees. Maybe even shorts.

I could get used to Leah wearing shorts,
he thought.

“What kind of cocktail?” she asked from the doorway to the kitchen.

Nathan looked down at his ingredients. There weren’t a lot — the kitchen wasn’t stocked very well at the moment — but he had lemons, sugar, and whiskey.

“I’m making whiskey sours,” he said. “You like those?”

“I don’t know,” said Leah, coming into the kitchen and looking around at it. “I’ve never had one before.”

“It’s whiskey, lemon, and sugar,” he said. “They’re pretty good.”

“I’ve only ever sneaked Scotch from my dad’s office,” she said, sitting in a chair at the table.

Nathan grinned. “You’re a hellion.”

“You have no idea,” she said, laughing.

A few minutes later, he handed her a cocktail and they went to go sit in the living room, on Nathan’s leather couch. It was the one nice piece of furniture he owned — despite making custom pieces for everyone else in Fjords, he had never gotten around to doing it for himself.

There had never really been a point. After all, he didn’t care what he sat on or ate his meals from. Or at least, he hadn’t yet.

Leah took a sip of her drink and then turned pink almost immediately. She cleared her throat a couple of times and her eyes watered.

“It’s strong,” she said.

Nathan held out his hand. “Sorry. I can go water it down.”

She shook her head. “No, I like it,” she said, and took another sip, looking around the living room.

There was silence for a moment.

“Okay, spill,” said Nathan. “What’s the first thing you’re going to change in the house?”

Leah laughed.

“Is it that obvious?” she asked.

Nathan just nodded, amused. He took another sip of his drink.

“Curtains,” Leah said immediately. “I guess these Venetian blinds block the light OK, but they’re kind of depressing, you know?”

“Not the boxes?” Nathan asked.

Leah glanced at the few boxes that stood against the back wall of the living room and made a face.

“I’ve been trying not to look at those,” she said. “Did you move in recently?”

“Sort of recently,” Nathan said.

She just looked at him, eyebrows raised.

“Okay, four years ago,” Nathan said.

“You should unpack,” Leah said lightly. She took another sip and scooted closer to Nathan on the couch.

“It’s been lacking a woman’s touch,” Nathan said. “At least it’s clean, right? I’ve seen some bachelor hell-holes.”

“That’s true,” Leah said. She was halfway through her drink, and Nathan could tell in her voice that she was starting to feel the whiskey. After all, if she’d ever drank before, it wasn’t very much. “This place could be a lot worse.”

Nathan nodded.

“It doesn’t get you off the hook, though,” she went on, smiling a devilish smile. “Just because someone else is worse.”

“Oh, come on,” Nathan said. “I was just waiting for you to come along and decorate however you like.”

Leah laughed. “Liar,” she said.

Nathan just shrugged, smiling. “You can’t prove I wasn’t.”

“The state of your bathroom sink is a pretty good indication, though,” she said.

“Those toothpaste stains are some of my best friends,” he said.

Leah took another drink, her whiskey cocktail now close to done, her bare feet propped on the leather ottoman.

“I went clothes shopping today,” she said.

She looked over at him, a sparkle her eye. Nathan felt his bear wake up and growl in response.

It was
that
kind of sparkle.

Leah drained her glass.

“What did you get?” he asked, trying not to seem overexcited, even though his brain immediately suggested all sort of delicious, sexy things that he’d love to see Leah in.

Instead of answering, Leah put her glass down and then, in one quick movement, straddled him on the couch.

With the drink occupying one hand, Nathan put his other hand on her thigh and slid it up, slowly, just grazing his fingers under her panties as his bear roared. It took all his self-control not to throw her back on the couch, tear off her white panties and mate her, right there, but he
had
to let her go at her own pace.

This is zero to sixty for her
, he reminded himself yet again.
We’ll get there. Give it time.

Leah’s eyes lit up and she bent down and kissed him, hard, her mouth hot against his. He slid his hand up to cup her full, luscious ass, letting his fingers sink in.

He was rock hard already, of course. It had been a near-permanent state for the last forty-eight hours, just about.

Leah broke the kiss off and sat back on her heels, her hands on his chest.

“Want to see what I got?” she asked.

She was turning slightly pink, either from the alcohol or her suggestion. Nathan couldn’t tell which.

“Absolutely,” he said, beginning to go breathless with desire.

That means something sexy, right?
He asked himself.
She’s not going to come out here in a job interview outfit, is she?

Leah playfully bopped his nose with one finger, then stood, walked to the bedroom, and closed the door behind her.

For a moment, Nathan imagined Leah in a job interview outfit. One of those tight skirts that came down to the knee, perfectly showing off her small waist and generous hips and ass, letting him watch it move as she walked. Or a white, button-down shirt.

He thought of undoing the buttons, one by one, then sinking his face into her cleavage, hiking her skirt up around her waist as she straddled him, and then...

Shit. His cock was tenting up his jeans, and even though he tried to adjust and hide it, even a little, it was far too obvious to do such a thing.

Nathan sighed and drained his drink, setting the glass on a side table and then leaning his head back against the sofa, trying to wrestle his bear into submission.

Then, the bedroom door opened, slowly, as if Leah was hesitant.

Nathan leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

She walked into the room, and his mouth dropped open.

Leah was wearing something silky and slinky and
short
, a white garment that had two thin straps over her shoulders and ended only a couple of inches down her thigh. Her nipples stood out under the thin material, and she was twisting her hands in front her, biting her lip nervously.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “Holy fucking shit, you look incredible.”

Even his bear was silent for once, too busy practically drooling.

“You like it?” she asked, pushing an orange curl out of her face.

“Yes,” he said, nodding feverishly.

Now Nathan was standing, his hands on her shoulders. If he’d thought he was using all his self-control before, he hadn’t known anything yet.

He
ached
to take her, make her his mate, bite her shoulder and listen to her scream his name.

“Well,” she said, that glint back in her eye. “Are you just going to stand there or do something about it?”