Llama Drama (5 page)

“Baaa! He's a big bully, just like
The Terminator
was,” Ginger bleated. “Riffraff, indeed! Wait till the competition. We'll show him.”

“Sho-o-ow hi-i-im,” the other sheep agreed.

“Still, I feel a bit sorry for them,” Shelley admitted. “I mean, if they lose...”

Lewie felt sorry for them too, but feelings were running high in his own camp. The lambs were getting overexcited again. So he gathered the whole flock around him for a little chat, to try to settle their nerves and keep them focused.

“You're all so talented … and hardworking … and absolutely
brilliant
,” Lewie told them, “but in the end, it's not about winning, it's about doing the best you can. We're a team that always pulls together. Look what we achieved last time when we stood together, in the face of terrible odds,” he said, referring to the night of the coyote attack. The sheep and lambs nodded. Recalling that night made them feel much more powerful.

“Sing us a song, Lewie,” some of the sheep suggested.

“Do us a dance,” begged the lambs.

Lewie happily entertained his flock until one by one they settled down to sleep. As he lay down himself, he pretended not to hear the mean remarks the other Guard Llamas were making.

“
Singing
!
Dancing
! Never seen the likes of it!”

“Embarrassing exhibition!”

“That llama deserves a dishonourable discharge,” brayed Wellington.

Lewie ignored them again.
Relax now
, he told himself.
With all our talent, what could possibly go wrong
?

Sadly, the answer was –
plenty!

Right now, not one but two of Lewie's enemies were hatching their own plans to make sure that he and his flock would never win the
Best Guard Llama
prize.

In a scruffy caravan, just outside the showground, Bolt and Dolt were eating hamburgers and drinking bottles of beer as they worked out a dirty-tricks campaign against Lewie, just in case they should need it.

“Can't take any chances. That's what the boss said:
whatever it takes
,” mumbled Bolt, stuffing half a hamburger into his mouth as he spoke.

“I could scare him off if I had to,” said Dolt, burping.

“No need, this plan'll work. Even if his sheep win the obedience section, his lambs can't win the agility prize if there ain't no lambs left,” grinned Bolt, wolfing down the other half of his hamburger. “And that means no
Best Guard Llama
prize.”

“Foolproof,” agreed Dolt.

The two men burped at the same time, then laughed out loud at their own cleverness.

Just one hundred metres from that caravan, Lewie's other enemies, the coyotes, were returning to their temporary burrow. They'd been out on a recce, skulking around the showground, checking out the security, sizing up the Guard Llamas and scoring them out of ten.

The coyotes still judged Hadrian their biggest challenge.

“He may not be as young as he used to be …” one said.

“But he's still formidable,” the others agreed.

With
The Terminator
gone, Hadrian was definitely top of the leader board with nine points. Blunderbuss and Wellington were well past their best. In fact, all the coyotes agreed that those two llamas were only worth seven points each. Nelson, with just one eye, was a complete joke now, scoring a puny four points. But the llama with the lowest score – with one point – was Lewie.

The coyotes had been passing the animal pens, hidden in the shadows, just as Lewie started his song and dance numbers for his flock. They were still laughing about it. If there was one thing they all agreed upon, it was, without doubt, that Lewie was the most ridiculous, least scary llama they'd ever encountered.

“Taking his sheep would be almost
too
easy,” Clutterbuck declared.

“Like snatching candy from a baby,” Crazycoot said greedily.

It was soon decided – Lewie's flock would be their first target. They'd clean out those lambs faster than you could blink!

Despite his determination to stay silent, Captain found himself saying, “You shouldn't underestimate him, just because he's young and new.”

This only brought more ridicule down on the old coyote's head. There was muttering about “… retiring him
off
…” and “… old coyotes losing their marbles …” so Captain said nothing more.

Captain was anxious not to encourage Cupcake. The minute the young cub had seen the lambs singing and dancing along with Lewie, he'd been hooked again. He was already trying to copy their moves. Captain chased the cub off to bed with some serious words about coyotes behaving like coyotes. He told the youngster sternly, “
Coyotes do not dance
.”

Privately, Captain was still puzzled about this odd llama, Lewie. In the face of a much bigger coyote attack, he would be interested to see which Lewie would choose this time – fight or flight.

Fortunately, Lewie was unaware of the two plots that threatened his hopes and dreams. But when Liberty appeared outside his pen later, he did confide in her that he'd taken a real dislike to Farmer Hardman's two workmen.

“I can't exactly explain it,” he told her. “It's just a … feeling.”

“You and your imagination,” Liberty told him. “It's probably nothing at all. Anyway, what can they possibly do to you?”

Later, Liberty would remember those words and regret them.

As Lewie was settling down to sleep, he heard Nelson whisper in the dark. The older llama wanted to know all about his sister Liberty, how she managed to escape and then return to her pen so easily. When he learned that she did it every day, Nelson was full of admiration – and envy.

“If I could get out that easily I'd never come back,” he told Lewie. “I'd find a nice quiet field somewhere, out in the middle of nowhere, and retire. They wouldn't see me for dust. It would be
Hasta la vista! Au revoir!
”

Lewie fell asleep with Nelson's soft, grumbling words drifting over his head.

he next day, Thursday, was the first day of the County Fair and the day Leo, Lamar, Latisha and Liberty would be competing. Lewie envied his brothers and sisters getting their events over so quickly, until he looked across to their pen and saw how anxious they all seemed.

It wasn't like Leo and Lamar or Latisha to be nervous. Their problem was usually an excess of confidence, but today anxiety was making them even more quarrelsome than usual.

“Give me some room,” Leo brayed loudly as he kicked out his legs, trying to warm up before his event –
Strongest Llama in Show
. It was a title Leo had held on to for three years. If he took it a fourth time, he'd surely be in the running for
Best Llama in Show
.

“I need room too!” honked Lamar, busily grooming himself. He was competing for
Most Handsome Llama
– naturally!

“You'd need an aircraft hanger to swing that bottom around,” snorted Leo.

“Tchhh! You're both idiots,” Latisha snapped. All she needed right now was a bit of peace and quiet to steady her nerves, to try to remember her routines.