Living a Lion: BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance (Sleeping Lions - Shifters Prime Book 1) (3 page)

Yet when she closed her eyes, the big shining orb of the moon was burning on her eyeballs, and when she opened them again, she was sure Kane was there in the bed beside her. Screwing up her eyes, she blocked them all out. Instead she conjured up her lioness, and dreamt of running along, four giant paws and her beautiful long tail, sandy fur, the wind blowing through it as she made a dash for the river where she would jump in and splash around with her brothers.

Before she could stop herself, a wave of homesickness swept over her and she was crying, great racking sobs that jarred her body. Biting down on her pillow, she fought for control. She could do this! She had to do this. For her father, for her family. As the only daughter it had been more sensible for Amara to take up the contract, but it hurt like a big rip in her heart that it had come to this, and for the first time she resented her family, and that made her sorrow even worse.

Five hours later, she was still awake. The clock read 4:00am, everyone else would be in bed. She got up, dressed in a T-shirt and loose pants, and went down to the kitchen. Maybe a cup of tea and watching the sunrise would make her feel better. Sleep was not her friend tonight and she was tired of fighting it, along with the other images in her head of the home she missed, and her lioness.

A faint headache accompanied her as she went down to the kitchen. The air was chill, the heat from last night’s cooking now gone, although the smell of roast pork still lingered. Amara went to the kettle and filled it with fresh water. Leaning against the counter she waited for it to boil, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples to ease her head.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” his voice asked.

Her head flew up, the thumping in her temples intensifying as her heart thundered in her chest. “I … no.” She was confused. If he was her mate, then she should have felt his presence, but her senses were dimmed. One hand strayed absently to stroke her collar.

Kane came closer, and her body became aware of him, her breasts swelling, her nipples becoming hardened peaks, as though they were trying to reach out to experience his touch. She longed for him to brush his hand over her sensitive skin and take her arousal to a new high. Amara shifted uneasily. She needed to get control of herself.

“Please,” she said, taking a step back.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said gently.
Too late
, she thought.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“Answers,” he said bluntly. And he looked so miserable, that she wanted to hold him. This man, so handsome, so strong, was hurt and confused and she desperately wanted to make it right for him. But she had no idea how she could do or say anything, without making him feel worse.

“I can’t help you,” she said, but she didn’t move away when he reached out and touched his fingers to her collar. Nor did she flinch when his fingers strayed off the cold metal and touched her skin. The electricity still shocked her, but she was ready for it this time. Because she had questions too.

Each held the answers the other sought. Somehow they were bound together, and as she looked into his confused eyes, copper coloured, flecked with cream, the colour of her lioness’s fur, one of those answers fell into place.

“It’s the same. Isn’t it?” he asked, holding up his wrist with the bracelet on.

“I think so,” she said, not wanting to commit to revealing what she thought he was. She still did not know why he wore the bracelet, or how much he knew. This might be a test, and if she failed and revealed what she thought, her contract might not be sold; instead, it might be terminated.
She
might be terminated.

The human world was suspicious of shifters. Ever since the war, humans had passed a law that stated every shifter in the human world had to wear a collar to stop them changing into their beast. If anyone was caught without one, it was well within a human’s rights to terminate the creature. It would be easy for the Reiniers to take off her collar and then say they were acting in self-defence. And in doing so, terminate the possible fallout by the paparazzi finding out Kane Reinier was a shifter.

“Do you know what I am?” he asked.

“No,” she replied. Keep it simple. Non-committal.

“But I am the same as you?” he asked.

Yes
. “I don’t know,” she replied.

“Can’t you tell?” he asked, his breath warm on her face as he leaned in to ask her, his voice no more than a breath.

Her eyes met his and she saw his uncertainty, tinged with fear. He didn’t know. This wasn’t a trick. He was scared; this news was new, terrifying, because it would change his life forever.
It had already changed his life forever
. Last night he had learned his life was not what he had thought it was. There was no going back.

“No.” She shook her head. Self-preservation was still uppermost in her head.
But he is our mate
. Somehow, and maybe it was the presence of him so close to her, but her lioness managed to speak to her, a voice she hadn’t heard for weeks.

Turning from him, she wiped her eyes, not wanting him to see her cry. But Kane reached out and touched her, an agony and an ecstasy rolled into one as his fingers touched her skin, making a connection that went deeper than flesh. He reached into her soul and when he suddenly let her go, she knew he had felt it too.

“What is this?” he asked. “Why do you have this effect on me? I’ve met your kind before, touched them before. But I have never experienced this. Is this a new weapon? Are you using some kind of chemical warfare?”

She rounded on him, her temper rising, her wounded pride at having this man as her mate conquering her reserve. “
My kind?
I only wear this collar because humans are scared of what they don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “This is confusing. It’s … I don’t know what to think. I have lived my whole life here, on this side of the border. Until you touched me, I had no idea I might be … different.”

“Look. I don’t want trouble. I have a contract; your uncle owns that contract. I can’t help you,” she said, although it was the hardest thing she had ever done. They were meant to be together, they were mated. But the strong feelings weren’t there, and at that moment she was glad. Glad his anguish didn’t rip into her heart and tear it out.

“Of course. I don’t want to cause trouble for you,” he said, stepping back away from her.

She moved, keeping her distance as she left the room. But in the doorway, she hesitated. “Don’t you remember living anywhere else?”

“No. I have always lived here with my uncle,” he replied.

“Did he give you the bracelet?” she asked.

“Yes, he said it was my father’s.” Kane lifted his arm and touched the bracelet. “He told me to never take it off.”

She nodded, knowing with certainty that Kane had been given the bracelet in a bid to keep his identity as a shifter safe. “Then perhaps you have been asking the wrong person. You should speak to your uncle.”

And then she left, despite the gnawing in the back of her mind, which she presumed was her lioness showing her disgust at them deserting their mate.
We need time to think
, she told her lioness, but had no idea if she could hear.

After she left the kitchen, he stood and thought about what she had said. He was sure she knew much more than she was letting on, but couldn’t blame her for not wanting to get involved. Especially when he had accused her of testing a secret shifter weapon on him.
Nice touch
, he berated himself.

The sound of one of the other servants moving around woke him from his thoughts. He headed back to his room for a long shower, to try to wash away his doubts and fears. As he washed himself, the bracelet on his wrist became more noticeable, heavier somehow. The weight of his decision concentrated on the thin piece of metal he had worn all his life. He lifted it up, letting the water splash over it and could see the thin line of copper that threaded through the silver. It was of the same composition as the collars shifters wore, but the question was: Did he wear it for the same reason? Was he capable of shifting?

As he got out of the shower and grabbed a towel, his fingers touched it, and for a split second he was tempted to take it off. But his fear of the unknown was stronger than his need to know the truth. Once he had let his inner beast free, if he indeed had an inner beast, then there would be no putting it back in his cage, not if anyone in the house saw.

All his uncle’s plans for him to take over the company would be crushed. She was right, he had to talk to his uncle; he owed him that much at least, after all the time and effort he had put into raising Kane.

Dressing in his usual Armani suit, he looked at himself in the mirror as he adjusted his tie. The man staring back at him was different. It was in the way he moved, the way his brow furrowed.

Stupid. It’s just your imagination. No one else will notice any difference in you. They will all see the heir to the Reinier Corporation. Nothing more.

Or could he be more? So much more, but not here.

Her face swam in his eyes; he still didn’t know her name. And yet he seemed to know her. There was a connection between them, and he flexed his hand, reliving the shock of electricity that had shot along his nerve endings each time she touched him.

Cursing, he grabbed his keys and wallet, and made his way downstairs. Glancing at his watch, he knew he was too late for breakfast, but he didn’t think he could stomach food, not when his whole future hung over a precipice. He could grab some coffee at work, and send his PA out for food later if his appetite returned.

“Kane,” Darius’s voice called out to him as he reached the hallway. “Are you feeling well?”

Kane mentally put a smile on his face and prayed he would be able to fool Darius, the man who knew him better than anyone else in the world. The man who had raised him as his heir.
The man who had given him the bracelet.

“Morning, Darius. Yes, why do you ask?” he said nonchalantly. The discussion he wanted to have with his uncle would wait until they were in the car. He didn’t want anyone else to overhear what was said. What secrets might be shared.

“You didn’t come down for breakfast.”

“I overslept,” Kane said, a believable excuse, except Kane never slept in late.

“I can call one the servants to fetch you some breakfast,” Darius looked at his watch. “We have ten minutes to spare.”

“No,” Kane said quickly. The last thing he needed was to be confronted by the woman who knew his secret. Not until he found out what exactly his uncle knew. “I can eat in my office. I have so much paperwork to get through. Let’s get an early start.”

“Keen. I like that,” Darius said, but the look his uncle gave him made it clear he thought something was up. And as they left the house, he lowered his voice and asked Kane, “You didn’t sneak a woman into the house last night did you, Kane?”

“No. Why do you think that?” Kane asked. His uncle accepted Kane’s need for female company, but hated him bringing them here, that was what hotel rooms were for.

“I heard you up and about early this morning. I wondered if you were sneaking a woman out?” Darius opened the car and they got in. “You know I prefer it if you keep your one-night stands away from the house.”

“It wasn’t a woman. Unless you count the moon.” He said it lightly, as if it were a joke, but his uncle didn’t laugh. Darius just looked at him, with such intensity that Kane wanted to let all his secrets spill out one after another. He used it on his clients when he wanted to discover if they were hiding anything. Kane had never appreciated how effective it was until now.

“The moon is as intoxicating as any woman.” Darius watched Kane’s face carefully; they were still on the estate, following the drive out towards the road. And Kane wanted to turn and watch the scene around them, to drag his eyes away from Darius, but he was caught, held prisoner, as if caught in the headlamps of a speeding car at night.

“I have met many women more intoxicating,” Kane quipped. Why had he not noticed this about his uncle before? Sitting here, with Darius’s eyes boring into him, Kane felt naive, as if a different, more complex, world existed outside of the one he knew, outside of the world he had been brought up in. Darius was a predator. A sudden realisation hit Kane. He had never been told anything more about his family, other than that his mother and father were dead.

Was that even true? As they turned onto the road, Darius switched his attention back to the car, and the feeling passed. All Darius said was, “To some there is nothing more intoxicating than the moon. Until they meet the right woman, and when that happens a life, a love you never knew was possible, opens up to you.” He turned once, flashing his bright, charismatic smile at Kane. “At least that’s what I am told. But if it’s true, I’ve never found her.”

“Is that why you live alone?” Kane asked. “Because you have never found the right woman?”

“Yes. I realised a long time ago I would never find her here,” he said absently.

“You mean this side of the border?” The question formed in his mind and left his mouth before he had time to stop it. His uncle kept his eyes firmly on the road, but his fingers around the steering wheel gripped it so tightly, the whites of his knuckles showed.

“You should be careful, Kane. You don’t know where this will lead,” Darius said calmly, his voice belying the tension in his body.

“Who were my parents?” Kane asked. “And what happened to them? You never did tell me.”

“Why all the questions?” Darius asked, his voice light, the tension in his body still there, but he was trying to shield Kane from the truth. Or was he simply trying to hide his own part in what had happened to Kane’s parents?

“Because I’ve never thought to ask them before.”

“Until now,” Darius looked across to Kane. “Does this have anything to do with the moon?”

“You tell me,” said Kane.

“I will. But not now. Not here. Tonight. After dinner. Meet me in the boat house. Then I will tell you everything.” They had reached the tall building that housed the Reinier Corporation. Darius pulled up and waited for Kane to get out.