Live Love Lacrosse (8 page)

Chapter 13

It Only Takes a Finger

ADDIE CHECKED IN with herself the next day, and found she wasn’t
hungry at either breakfast or lunch time. There was an odd tightness in her
mid-section, but that was probably from all those sit-ups and boot camp drills
Kimi had her doing.

At Grandma’s they were pretty much on their
own for breakfast and lunch, anyway, so no one even noticed that she’d skipped
them. She’d eaten so much fried chicken and tater tots and rolls the night
before that she hoped her full feeling would last all day or at least until
dinner that night, and she’d be able to keep the calories in to a big whopping
zero.

Around two o’clock that afternoon, though, her stomach growled.
She was sitting on the front porch finishing the last page of her book when it
happened.

“Oh, c’mon,” Addie growled in return. She grabbed a roll of belly
fat and said through clenched teeth, “Eat what you have!” What was the point of
storing up fat if her body wasn’t going to use it? That made no sense.

She took a sip of water, the only thing she allowed herself to
take in, because she was trying to hold out and not eat until dinner. She
managed to ignore her hunger for another two hours, but then Troy, the jerk,
pulled out a box of mini chocolate chip cookies from Grandma’s junk food
cabinet. She almost put her hand out so he could pour her some, but decided to
be strong and asked him to bring her an apple.

“Weirdo,” was all he said but brought the apple anyway.

He must have figured out that she was dieting
because he made a show of every cookie he ate. Watching him was pure torture,
especially because the apple had disgusting brown spots all over. No one ever
ate the fruit that Grandma brought home, including Grandma, so it usually got
thrown out. Addie, on more than one occasion, thought that her grandmother
could save some money by skipping the fruit altogether.

Hopefully tomorrow she would be better and would not give in to an
afternoon snack, even an apple. That should be easy, though, since she was
going to Kimi’s to work out before her dad came to pick her and Troy up and
take them out to dinner. She would definitely have to save all those calories
for dinner. Maybe she could splurge and get a milkshake, too. That was protein,
right? Ooh, and maybe she could get her dad to take her to Dick’s Sporting
Goods. Double fingers and toes crossed that he would buy her cleats and a few
other things she needed. That could be her reward for a making it through the
whole day without calories.

Addie found that limiting calories at dinner that night was much
easier than the night before. Maybe that four o’clock apple had helped. The
next day, skipping breakfast and lunch wasn’t too bad, either. Troy, of course,
rubbed it in by making himself a cheese quesadilla for lunch. Those were her
favorite. When he did that, she ran up to their bedroom, shut the door, and lay
on her bed with her back to the door, blocking off all thoughts of the cheesy
goodness downstairs. After a while, she sipped water and dug into her next
Star
Trek
book. This time the Voyager crew was trying to hide from the Borg who
wanted to assimilate them into drones. At the moment the crew was living off
reduced replicator rations and, hey, Addie reasoned, if Captain Janeway could
live off reduced food rations, then so could she. WWJD? She’d find a way to
cope, and so would Addie. Somehow.

Boot camping it with Kimi that afternoon didn’t go as well as
she’d hoped though. She simply didn’t have the energy to do all those stupid
pushups and burpees and jumping jacks. Kimi wanted to do more sprints, but
Addie cut the practice short after making up an excuse about having a headache,
which she actually did. She felt a little guilty about leaving early, but she
kind of didn’t care. She just wanted to lay down and then wait for her dad to
arrive.

At a quarter to six, Addie was dressed and sitting on the front
porch waiting for her father to pull up. The nap she took after Kimi’s circuit
training made her feel so much better. Maybe that was all she needed—more
sleep. Her father pulled up, and she leaped down the porch steps and ran into
his outstretched arms.

“Hi, Daddy!” She hugged him around his middle.

“Hi, Weeble. How’s my best girl?”

“Good.” She wanted to ask him if he’d apologized to her mother
yet, but wasn’t sure how, so instead she blurted, “Can we go to the sporting
goods store at the mall?”

“Ah,” he said and released her from the hug. “Your mom said you’d
found a new life’s passion.”

Addie beamed. Not because her dad knew about her growing
fascination with lacrosse, but because her mother had actually spoken with him.
Maybe things were on the mend. Maybe they’d be moving back to Watertown. Her
stomach swirled in excitement.

“Yeah, Dad. I really like lacrosse. Mom bought me a stick and
goggles and Kimi helped me mold my mouth guard. Now, all I need is–”

“Okay, okay,” he interrupted. “We’ll get you everything you need.
I promise. Now where’s Troy? I’m starving.”

“I’ll get him.” Addie hopped up the stairs to the front porch,
yanked open the front door, and yelled, “Troy, get your butt out here. Dad’s
here.”

“Stop that shouting, young lady,” Grandma growled. She was in the
kitchen frying pork chops.

“Oh, sorry, Grandma.” Addie closed the door gently and backed away
slowly. She tried not to hear the words her grandmother was grumbling.

She called dibs on the passenger seat and got in her father’s
pickup truck. It kind of wasn’t fair to call dibs, since Troy wasn’t even out
yet, but he could ride shotgun on the way home.

After forever, Troy finally sauntered out to the truck.

“Hey, Troy,” their father said.

“Hey.” Troy got into the backseat without a fuss.

“You okay, Troybot?”

“Yep,” was all he said.

Addie looked from her father to Troy and back again. Uh, oh, what
was going on with Troy? Was he mad at Dad?

Her father cleared his throat. “So, should we eat at the food
court in the mall? That way we can get Addie’s lacrosse stuff at the sporting
goods store right after we eat and then get to our movie on time.”

Troy said nothing.

“Sounds great, Dad,” Addie said. Yeesh, it was a little too enthusiastic,
but she had to make up for Troy’s bad mood. What was up with him, anyway?

On the drive over to the mall, she seemed to be the only one
really talking. Although her dad seemed interested in the lacrosse drills and
circuit training Kimi tortured her with on an almost daily basis, including
that afternoon, he seemed far more interested in getting Troy to talk. But Troy
didn’t seem interested, not even when their father brought up the Red Sox win
over the first-place Tampa Bay Rays. Troy must be sick if even sports couldn’t
interest him.

As they walked into the food court from the
side entrance near the movie theater, Addie decided that she was going to get
Sbarro’s pizza. And she was going to get two slices, even though they were
huge. She had been good all day. Calories in was zero. She did a quick check of
her body. Was she hungry? Sort of. Her stomach still had that low-grade
tightness, and it wasn’t exactly pain, just a little uncomfortable. Hey, no
pain no gain, as Coach Marks had said on more than one occasion on Saturday.

Thinking about Coach Marks and her official tryout the next day
made her stomach clench.

Troy made a bee-line for Sbarro’s with the ten dollar bill her
father had handed him, and Addie was about to follow, but she noticed three girls
about her own age sitting at one of the food court tables. Addie’s stomach
clenched again. Would she be going to school with these girls in the fall? In
Syracuse?

One of the girls looked up from her salad and smiled at Addie as
she walked by. Addie smiled back, but then looked away. What did they see? A
fat roly poly Weeble lardo?

“Where to, Weebs?” her dad asked. “Your
favorite? Sbarro’s?”

“Um, no,” she said, making a split section decision. She did a
quick scan of the food court booths. “Sally’s Salads. That’s where I want to
go.”

“Wow,” her father said and let her lead the way. “I’m impressed.
This lacrosse stuff is really taking hold on you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I really like it so far, Dad. I hope I make the team
tomorrow.” She worked her way through the tables, past the amazing smelling
Sbarro’s, and stood at the Sally’s Salad counter. “I wish you could be there,
Dad.”

“I know, Weebs, I know. Maybe I can make your
first game.”

Addie’s heart lightened. “If I make the team, that is.”

“You will. You’re a Coleburn! We can do anything.”

Addie smiled and with a sigh turned to look at the menu choices.
Some of the salads had weird stuff in it like avocados and broccoli, but she
finally settled on a chicken Caesar salad. It looked simple enough and had some
protein in it. She asked for the dressing on the side. She’d heard her mother
say that a few times when they’d gone out to dinner. But that was a lifetime
ago when they were still a family.

Her father ordered the same thing and they settled into an awkward
dinner in the food court with Troy only grunting responses. Addie tried to eat
the salad without the dressing and managed to eat all the chicken off the top,
but the lettuce was too dry and chewy, so she poured the minisculest amount of
dressing on the side of the plastic bowl and swiped a forkful of lettuce leaves
over it, hoping to capture a minimum of calories. Nope, the salad was still
chewy and boring. But at least it didn’t have weird things in it like at Kimi’s
house. How could they live on salad alone? She couldn’t wrap her mind around
it.

Their father was trying to get Troy to talk again, so Addie
excused herself to go the rest room to give them some space. All that water
she’d been drinking all day had run its course through her anyway, so she really
needed to go.

As she stepped into the bathroom, two of the three girls she’d
seen earlier were fixing their hair in the mirror. Addie looked away and was
about to head into the farthest stall when she heard the distinct sounds of
someone throwing up in one of the stalls. The two girls looked at each other
and beamed. Kind of not the reaction Addie thought they’d have at the sound of
someone getting sick.

One of the girls, the taller one with the blonde hair and mascara,
said to her, “You should try it.” She pointed to the stall where their third
friend was throwing up. “It only takes one finger.” She showed Addie by taking
her index finger and putting it way back in her mouth. “You can eat anything
you want, ’cuz it’s not staying in.”

There were more retching sounds from the stall. The other girl
leaned closer and whispered, “After a while you can do it without anyone
hearing you.” She rolled her eyes.

The toilet flushed and their friend walked out, looking a little
green.

“See, Marcy?” the blonde said to their friend
coming out of the stall. “That wasn’t so bad. Now all those calories don’t
count.”

The girl named Marcy nodded and Addie thought she was crazy. She
thought they were all crazy. She hustled to the farthest stall to do her
business. As she was washing her hands afterward, she let herself think about
what the girls had been doing. They were getting rid of calories. Calories in
had to be less than calories out, right? Getting rid of the calories before
they had a chance to digest made some kind of weird sense. But she couldn’t do
something like that in a public rest room. No, something like that would have
to wait until she got back home.

Chapter 14

It’s Not Fatal

KIMI’S SATURDAY MORNING knock on the front door might have seemed
early for some, but Addie was up, dressed, and ready to go. She bounded to the
front door with her new sports bag that proudly held her goggles, mouth guard
in its new case, new cleats, which she needed to break in, a new towel to wipe
off the gallons of sweat she was bound to produce at that morning’s tryout, two
brand-new filled water bottles, gloves, and an extra pair of sports socks.
She’d never had sports socks before. The bill came to almost two hundred
dollars, but her father paid it willingly. Oddly, Troy wouldn’t let their
father buy him anything; he just sat on one of the benches in the mall outside
the sporting good’s store and wouldn’t even go in. It was weird because he had
been trying to get their mother to buy him all kinds of stuff at that same
store just two nights before.

Addie flung open the front door and Kimi gasped. “Whoa, Addie. You
look like a real lacrosse player now!”

Addie beamed and twirled on the front porch. “Like my shirt?” Her
new shirt read, “Lacrosse! Legally beating people with sticks since 1494!” It
had a picture of a lacrosse player in full gear holding his stick up high.

Kimi laughed. “I told you you’d get hooked on LAX!”

They headed down the steps and onto the sidewalk.

“I’m so nervous,” Addie admitted. “What if Coach Marks doesn’t
even let me try out? What if I can’t run like everyone else? What if I’m last
in every drill and exercise you guys do? What if they laugh at me, Kimi?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Addie. Slow down there. Think about this. You
actually scored a goal on Brooke on Wednesday.”

“Oh, yeah. That was sweet.”

“She was so mad.” Kimi laughed. “Zoinks, she said the sun was in
her eyes. Yeah, right. Whatever.”

They walked on in silence for a moment and then Kimi added, “I
know you’re new to the sport and everything, but we were all new once. Didn’t
Coach Cairns tell you that?”

Addie nodded.

“And you’re picking it up really fast. You can almost keep up with
me in my boot camp circuit training, right?”

“More like circuit torture.”

Kimi nudged Addie with her shoulder and laughed.

“Hey, Kimi?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever heard of, like . . . um . . .” Addie wasn’t sure
how to bring up the topic.

“Heard of what?”

“Like, making yourself throw up after you eat. Like, on purpose?”

“You’re not doing that, are you?” Kimi stopped in her tracks and
whirled around to face Addie.

“No, no, no.” But that was a little bit of a lie. During the movie
the night before, Addie ate two candy bars, drank her own jumbo-sized Coke, and
ate the entire tub of buttered popcorn. Once she got home, she went up to the
bathroom she shared with her mother and Troy and put the fan on hoping the
extra noise would block out any sound. She wasn’t sure if that was enough, so
she turned the water faucet on full-blast just in case. She got down on her hands
and knees in front of the toilet and pulled the seat up. Staring at the still
water for a moment, she gathered her resolve and slowly leaned forward. She
opened her mouth wide and before she could think about it, thrust a finger in
her mouth and down her throat as far back as she could get it. She gagged
immediately and pulled her finger out. Not to be deterred, she tried again.
This time her mouth watered, and she got her stomach to churn and heave a
little. She heaved two more times, but nothing came out. Nothing except saliva.
She spit into the bowl a few times and let the wave of nausea subside. She
slowly pulled down the seat and then closed the lid. A wave of something, she
wasn’t sure what, washed over her, and she sat down on the bathroom floor, head
in hands, and cried.

“I don’t even want to know why you’re asking me that question,
Addie,” Kimi said. “It’s called bulimia, and it’s a sickness. Your teeth can
fall out from the stomach acid, and you could burn out your esophagus.” She
grabbed both of Addie’s arms and looked her right in the eye. “Addie, your
heart could stop. You can die from bulimia.” She let go. “Don’t you ever let me
hear of you doing something like that. That’s hurting yourself on purpose. Like
those people who cut themselves. If you want to lose weight, or whatever, I can
help you, but do it in a healthy way.”

“Okay,” Addie said. “I don’t think I can do
bulimia anyway. It’s too gross.”

“No, kidding. C’mon.” Kimi smacked Addie in the arm and turned
away. “Let’s run the rest of the way.”

Addie had no choice but to follow.

They finally slowed down as they reached the practice field. They
were super early, but a couple girls and their parents were already there. It
was a big day. The last day of tryouts for everyone, but the first for Addie.

Kimi and Addie changed into their cleats and had a catch until the
coaches organized them into stretching and circuit drills. They were just like
the ones Kimi had done, but there was a lot more running in between stations.
The practice had been going on for about forty-five minutes and they still
hadn’t touched their sticks or anything. Finally, after a quick water break,
they got to do a scoop and clear drill with actual lacrosse sticks and balls.
Addie liked the drill and found that she wasn’t the worst at it. She scooped up
all the ground balls but two and easily did her spin moves, both right and
left, around a stationary player. Kimi had taught her that move. Addie liked
the variation Coach Cairns added where they had to use their sticks to toss the
ball to a player running down the sideline. Addie hadn’t realized how good
she’d gotten at throwing under Kimi’s guidance, and only messed up once or
twice.

“Water!” Coach Marks called after what had seemed like six more
months of drills. “Two minutes.”

Addie plopped to the ground near her bag, too
tired to open it for the water. Brooke and Kimi sat down next to her. Addie was
worried. Coach Marks hadn’t said a word to her. That was not a good thing. Kimi
got her water bottle out for her, because Addie felt like a giant lump. As she
lay there, she started to feel really really weird, like woozy or something.
She sat up slowly, but closed her eyes as a wave of dizziness seized her.

“You look out of it, Addie,” Kimi said.

“Give her some water,” Brooke said. “She’s not used to
exercising.” Under her breath she added, “at all.”

“Here.” Kimi put a water bottle in Addie’s hand. Addie nodded,
grateful for her friend’s persistence, and took a long swig. Mistake. Her
stomach cramped up immediately and a wave of nausea shot through her. She
groaned.

“Deep breath, Addie,” Kimi said. “You’ll be okay. You’re not used
to this kind of workout.”

Addie did as Kimi suggested and started to feel a little better.
“Whose idea was it to play lacrosse?” she grumbled and shot her friend an
accusing glare.

“You love it, and you know it.” Kimi took one last swig from her
own water bottle and tossed it in her bag. “C’mon, Coach Marks will be blowing
that whistle in three seconds.”

Brooke stood up first. “We’d better be there on time, or we’ll all
be running laps.” The glare she shot Addie was enough to get her to her feet.
She grunted her way to a stand and hustled to the gathering group.

Coach Marks approached with a clipboard in hand. Several of the
parents gathered behind the coach.

Kimi whispered, “He’s going to announce the team now.”

Addie’s eyes grew wide. Had she put in enough effort? Was she good
enough? Okay, she’d lagged behind everyone when it came to running, but she had
done pretty well in the lacrosse drills. Hadn’t she? One time Coach Cairns told
her she looked good.

As the coach read off the list of the Onondaga Owls girls’
lacrosse roster, Addie’s mood sank as he got further down the list and her name
wasn’t called. Kimi and Brooke made the team, of course. There had been no
doubt about that. He got to the end of the list and said, “Thank you all for
trying out. If you didn’t make the team, then work hard, come back next year,
and try out again, okay?”

Addie’s heart fell. She had worked so hard.
Sometimes hard work didn’t pay off. She took off her gloves one at a time,
fighting back tears. All this expensive stuff she’d made her parents buy for
her and she wasn’t going to be able to use any of it.

Kimi put an arm around her and hugged her awkwardly. “He’s right,
you know.”

“About what?” Addie wiped at the tears in her eyes. There were
several other girls doing the same thing.

“About trying out again. Working hard.”

“Whatever.” Addie turned away from Kimi and headed toward her new
expensive equipment bag and rolled her eyes. All she wanted to do was get out
of there as quickly as she could. She could curl up on the front porch and read
about Captain Janeway. Yeah, that sounded good right about now.

A loud whistle blew, and Addie was going to ignore it, seeing as
she wasn’t a member of the team and all, but then Coach Cairns made an
incredible announcement. “Any girl who did not make the first-team cuts, please
gather around me.” Addie wasn’t sure what was happening, but at Kimi’s urging,
circled up around Coach Cairns.

“Girls, even though you didn’t make the team this summer, I’ve
convinced Coach Marks to give you all an incredible opportunity.” She put her
hand up on one side of her mouth and loudly whispered, “And it took a
lot
of convincing, I have to tell you.”

Addie laughed along with the other girls that had been cut. At
least she hadn’t been the only one.

Coach Cairns flicked her long dark braid over her shoulder. “I was
adamant that we not discourage anyone away from the game I love.” She stood up
taller. “Each and every one of you has potential. There was not a single one of
you who can’t play this game given a little more work and coaching. And that is
why we are inviting you all to stay as the second team. Now, there are
conditions to this. You’ll practice with the first team, but you may not be put
in games.” She looked over the heads of the girls to a handful of parents who
were listening intently. “So we want you to stay and practice to improve your
skills, but you may not get any game time. Okay?” Everyone nodded.

Kimi stood in a group surrounding Coach Marks. She must have been
eavesdropping because she nodded at Addie so vigorously that Addie almost
laughed out loud.

“Be forewarned, though,” Coach Cairns continued, “if you plan to
stay, we expect you to do everything the first team does. Like Tuesday,
Thursday, and Saturday practices and games. And,” she looked at each one of
them in turn, “that also includes warming down with three laps. So if you’re
planning on staying, you’d better get going. The first team has already started
its first lap.” She pointed to the first team turning the corner at the
endline.

“I hope you’ll stay, Addie,” Coach Cairns said to her.

“Thanks, Coach,” Addie said. “I think I will.”

“I’m glad,” Coach Cairns said. A big smile crept up her face.
“You’d better hustle.”

Addie sprinted as if she wasn’t about to collapse. She ran with
the four other girls who had decided to stay on. She rounded the first turn and
then, out of nowhere, her legs gave out on her. She fell to the ground, groaning
in agony as first one then the other leg cramped up on her. Not sure how to
relieve the pain she held her breath as the cramps seized her. Gasping for air,
she tightened up against the pain.

Coach Cairns rushed over and massaged the cramping muscles. “You
probably overdid it today. It is a little humid.” She continued to massage
Addie’s muscles and by the time Addie felt relief, a crowd had gathered around
her. “Addie, Addie, Addie. You scared me. I think you just overdid it today.
Look, I’ll drive you home, that way I can talk to your parents, but you have to
make sure you drink plenty of fluids for the rest of the day, okay? Can you do
that? Even when you don’t want any?”

Addie nodded. “Yes, Coach.”

Kimi sprinted over. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m okay.” Addie tried to laugh it off. “I’m just fat. It’s not
fatal.”