Lisa Lutz Spellman Series E-Book Box Set: The Spellman Files, Curse of the Spellmans, Revenge of the Spellmans, The Spellmans Strike Again (35 page)

BOOK: Lisa Lutz Spellman Series E-Book Box Set: The Spellman Files, Curse of the Spellmans, Revenge of the Spellmans, The Spellmans Strike Again
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1
Aka Secret Agent 86.

2
Called “Satan Place.”

3
The International Organization of Evil (pronounced “chaos”).

4
Sock garter phone.

1
Big Brothers of America–sanctioned activities.

2
Same assorted males.

3
Cannot establish a trend.

4
Or woman with whom he shares a resemblance and appears to be his mother.

5
Cannot establish a trend.

6
Petra (must not mention her in case he remembers Staged Dental Appointment #1).

7
get high and

8
Untrue.

9
A top-secret counterespionage organization (the good guys).

10
The International Organization of Evil.

1
Statistically speaking, there are far more women than men working in education, so this was not an entirely reckless assumption.

1
The International Organization of Evil.

2
For instance, if you ask Hymie to “give you a hand,” he starts unscrewing his hand.

3
Named after the father of the evil scientist who created him.

4
Hymie looks human.

1
The International Organization of Evil.

1
The International Organization of Evil.

1
Baking powder looks more authentic but is much harder to snort.

1
I know you cannot say the same for me, and I’m okay with that.

2
And, yes, I kind of know what that feels like.

3
Example of aforementioned inside joke.

4
0% loans only will be mentioned.

5
Has lent me
a lot
of money and read perhaps more than anyone, including my supercrappy early screenplays.

6
Morgan’s husband and therefore money-lending applies to him as well.

7
She is only four, therefore, I have not borrowed money from her.

8
I don’t recall borrowing money from Julie, but she has bought me many drinks and employed me a few times.

9
Lent money, but didn’t read all that many drafts. Will need to step up if she wants mentioning in second book’s acknowledgments.

10
No, I will not buy you a car.

11
Lent money, read lots of drafts,
and
bought lots of drinks.

12
Read lots and lots of drafts, lent money,
and
has given me large household appliances and furniture.

13
Any potential muggers who happen to be reading this should note this fact.

14
This would, in fact, have been a reasonable thing to do—all things considered.

15
For the record, Uncle Ray was not modeled after either one of my uncles.

16
Ibid.

17
Rent free!

18
Except Mike Joffe. I’m not acknowledging him.

19
Seriously, this book is
not
about you.

ALSO BY LISA LUTZ

The Spellman Files

SIMON & SCHUSTER
Rockefeller Center
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2008 by Spellman Enterprises, Inc.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Simon & Schuster Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230
Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

SIMON & SCHUSTER and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lutz, Lisa.
Curse of the Spellmans / by Lisa Lutz.
p. cm.
1. Private investigators—Fiction. 2. Domestic fiction.
I. Title.
PS3612.U897C87 2008
813'.6—dc22 2007021152

ISBN-13: 978-1-4165-6563-5
eISBN-13: 978-1-4516-5936-8
ISBN-10: 1-4165-6563-9

Visit us on the World Wide Web:
http://www.SimonSays.com

For Stephanie Kip Rostan
& Marysue Rucci

Contents

In the Middle…

Arrest #2 (Or #4)

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Part I: Beginnings

Subject Moves Into 1797 Clay Street…

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

A Brief History of Me

San Francisco General Hospital

A Brief History of Henry and Rae

How I Became Henry Stone’s “Fiancée”

The Stone and Spellman Show

The Stone and Spellman Show—Episode 1

Subject Moves Into 1797 Clay Street…

Suspicious Behavior Reports

A Broken Promise

The Stone and Spellman Show—Episode 27

Subject is Observed Taking Out the Trash…

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

The Day Bernie Peterson Moved in With Me

Suspicious Behavior Report #2

The Stone and Spellman Show—Episode 32

Subject is Observed Digging a Hole…

Crimes Against Mrs. Chandler

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Isabel Spellman, Licensed PI

Milfos and Reafos

Reafo #2 or Suspicious Behavior Report #3?

Ex-Boyfriend #9

The Philosopher’s Club

The Peterson Problem

Suspicious Behavior Reports #4 and #5

Disappearance #1: The Not-So-Grand Canyon

Home Alone

Suspicious Behavior Report #6

Suspicious Behavior Report #7

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Part II: Disappearances and More Suspicious Behavior Reports

Disappearance Dispatch #1

Operation Locked Door

Operation: Dob

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Subject Helps Dad With Luggage…

Suspicious Behavior Report #8

Groundhog Day

Subject Arrives at the Philosopher’s Club…

The Valentine’s Day Massacre

Ashby Community Garden

The Chandler Job

Suspicious Behavior Report #9

Stone and Spellman…Together Again

The Stone and Spellman Show—Episode 18

My Almost Fake Mugging

Subject Loses His Patience…

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Suspicious Behavior Report #10

Suspicious Behavior Report #11

The Chandler Job

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Disappearance #2

Suspicious Behavior Report #12

Home Alone

My Almost Fake Drug Deal (#2)

Ex-Boyfriend #10

The Philosopher’s Club

The Chandler Job

The “Law Offices” of Mort Schilling

Home Alone

Garbology 101

Operation Locked Door

Home Alone

The Morning After

The Stone and Spellman Show—Episode 33

The Stone and Spellman Show—Episode 34

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