Lingerie Wars (The Invertary books) (30 page)

"Yes. I want the food. Then I want to go back to bed."

Kirsty sighed with exasperation, but grinned when she turned back to the frying pan. He helped himself to some of the juice she'd placed on the counter. He was entirely out of place in her world. Too big. Too manly. Too muscled. Everything about him screamed that he expected the world to adapt to him and not the other way around.

"So, where do we stand on the therapy list?" he said.

"It's done." The last thing she wanted was to discuss her little cupboard episode.

"I'd better look and see."

"Only if you want to be wearing the frying pan."

He held his hand up in surrender.

"You're full of attitude this morning, Kirsty Campbell. I'd ask what's gotten into you, but I already know."

Kirsty ignored him.

When she put his plate on the counter in front of him, Lake's arm snaked out to wind around her waist.

"I like this." He rubbed the satin cloth of her gown between his finger and thumb.

Kirsty watched him in fascination. He touched the hollow of her throat and ran his fingers lightly down the opening of her dressing gown to between her breasts.

"I like this a lot."

Kirsty pulled free before she gave into her urges and threw herself at the man. She'd dealt with enough for one night. She wasn't going to overload herself by being naked in daylight. That could wait for another day. She stumbled over nothing on the floor at the surprise that she was even considering another day. She chewed her lip.

"What's bothering you now?" he asked as he wolfed down his food.

She looked at him for a moment, debating the wisdom of telling him.

"Do you want to see me again?"

He stopped eating.

"I want to see all of you, all of the time," he told her.

"I mean, do you want to sleep with me again?"

"Kirsty, I wanted to sleep with you about twenty minutes ago but you wouldn't let me."

There was that.

"I'm trying to decide if I want to see you again," she said.

Lake choked on a piece of sausage. When he'd recovered, he smiled a little cockily.

"Of course you do," he said.

Kirsty folded her arms over her dressing gown and leaned against the counter.

"Maybe I don't," she said.

"Oh, but you do."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're really cheesing me off now," she said.

He shrugged and shook his head like she was the mystery.

"I'm going for a shower," Kirsty declared.

As she stomped past him, he grabbed her and kissed her hard. Kissed her until her nails were digging into his shoulders and she was rubbing against him like a cat.

"Point made," she said when he stopped.

Feeling a little dazed, she headed to the bathroom.

"Can I eat your breakfast?" he called after her.

She didn't bother answering him. He was going to do it anyway—to save it from getting cold.

"I don't see why I have to leave," Lake told her as she herded him down the stairs and into the shop.

"For one thing, you don't live here, you live over there. For another, Magenta will be here soon and I don't want her to find you here."

He was not persuaded.

"Put a notice on the window, write 'gone fishing' or something and we'll go back to bed." He turned towards her at the bottom of the stairs, making her stop short against him. "You know you want to," he teased.

His hand cupped her breast as he kissed her neck. She swayed. Heck yes, she wanted to. But she wasn't going to.

"See," she said as she pushed him through the door and into the shop. "This is self-control. Pay attention. You might develop some one day."

He grumbled all the way through the shop to the office and the back door. As he entered her office, he stilled, every muscle in his body tense.

"What is it?" Kirsty said.

He pushed the door open cautiously.

"Someone has been here," he said.

"What?" Kirsty pushed past him and into the room.

The back door was slightly ajar. Lake scanned the room. Everything about him signalled "high alert".

"Look around," he told her. "What's missing?"

He strode to the door and examined the lock.

"The lingerie for the show is gone."

She pointed at the table. Kirsty wanted to wail.

"Check the computer," Lake said evenly. "Make sure no one got into your bank account. Check the till. Make sure the money is still in it."

Kirsty did as she was told while Lake searched the yard outside the back door.

"Everything is still here," she said once she'd been through it all. "It's only the lingerie that's missing."

"There are wheel tracks outside the back door. Looks like someone put the stuff in a shopping trolley."

Kirsty folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.

"I didn't do this," he told her. "I was busy. I was with you. Remember?"

"You could have organised it."

"Think about it for a minute. If I was behind this, would I have made such a piss-poor job of it?"

"It seems to me that whoever did this was quite successful." She waved at the empty table. "My lingerie is gone. How can I do the show without it?"

"Get some more delivered."

"Three weeks before Christmas?" she screeched. "I'll be lucky to get it by February."

He shrugged.

"You can borrow some of mine."

"The second-rate stuff you don't want to use? No thank you."

"What do you want me to do?" he said, sounding irritated. "I keep telling you—I didn't do this."

Her eyes narrowed.

"I bet you know who did," she said.

They looked at each other.

"Betty," Lake said.

Kirsty nodded.

"I'm going to kill her this time," he said.

"I'll help."

Kirsty went to fetch her coat.

"I'm not telling you anything," Betty said. "You can cart me off to jail, but these lips are sealed."

Kirsty looked at Officer Donaldson hopefully. He sighed.

"I can't put her in jail without any proof," he said.

"Ha!" said Betty.

"I should have phoned the vicar. He would have been more use," Kirsty grumbled.

"Feel free," said the town's entire police force.

"What exactly do you think that old fart will do?" Betty said defiantly. "If he isn't fit for a round of slap and tickle, he isn't going to help you here."

Kirsty and Officer Donaldson made retching noises while Lake shook his head slightly.

"My ears are going to shrivel and fall off just from hearing that," Kirsty said.

"Look," Officer Donaldson said. "Unless you can get me some proof that Betty stole your underwear, there isn't a lot I can do here."

"Can't you search the place?" Kirsty said.

"You search the place. I've got better things to do. Rip the house apart. It will only improve the decor." Officer Donaldson sounded beyond fed up and Kirsty almost felt sorry for him.

"That's rude," Betty said from her state-of-the-art La-Z-Boy chair. "If anyone messes up my house, I'll sue."

The police officer looked towards heaven.

"You've got the wrong idea about Scottish law," he told her. "You can't sue about anything that takes your fancy. You've been watching too many American TV shows." He turned to Kirsty and Lake. "Do what you have to," he said. "But if you injure her, try to hide the evidence. That would be a boatload of paperwork that I don't need. I'm already up to my ears with the Christmas Market."

Lake nodded once at the officer.

"I'm out of here," Donaldson said. "Some of the kids have been messing around at the Baxter farm. If I find out my sisters are involved, you'll be missing two models for your show." He ran his hand through his thick, dark hair before putting his hat back on. "I'm aging before my time," he told them by way of goodbye.

When he was gone Kirsty turned to Betty.

"There are no witnesses now." She put her hands on her hips. "I'm not afraid to hurt you to get the information I need."

Betty scoffed.

"Who are you kidding, Kirsty Campbell? I could take you in a fight any day."

Her words might have been more impressive if her stubby wee legs weren't dangling over the edge of her footrest as she talked. Kirsty wasn't going to be intimidated by a woman who practically needed a ladder to get in her chair.

"And another thing," Betty said. "What do you call him if not a witness?"

She pointed at Lake where he was leaning against Betty's 1970s orange sideboard. Lake smiled darkly.

"I'm not a witness," he said. "I'm on her side for this one. Taking the underwear was underhanded."

"This is war, laddie," Betty shouted.

"Ha!" Kirsty said. "So you admit it. You did take the lingerie."

She folded her arms and glared down at Invertary's most annoying resident.

"What if I did?" Betty said, sticking her stubby wee nose in the air. "There's nothing you can do about it, and you sure as heck won't ever find the stuff."

She grinned a wide, toothless grin, which made Kirsty scan the room for sight of her teeth. With Betty, you never knew where her teeth would turn up next. She had a terrible habit of taking them out when they annoyed her and forgetting where she put them. It paid to be vigilant whenever she was in gummy mode.

"We need to search the place," Lake said with a sigh.

"And you!" Betty pointed at him as she gave him the evil eye. "You are a traitor! You're helping the enemy. You should be hung, drawn and quartered."

She tried to fold her arms over her ample belly, but didn't quite make it. Lake pushed away from the sideboard and looked at Kirsty.

"I'll take the bedroom, you start in here."

They looked around Betty's tiny living room, every single inch stuffed with furniture and every single surface packed with tacky fairy ornaments. Kirsty grimaced.

"Surely she wouldn't be stupid enough to hide it here?" she said.

"I couldn't even begin to guess how stupid she is," Lake said.

Betty made an unidentifiable noise.

"I'm declaring my own war," she said. "I'm now officially at war with the both of you."

Lake shook his head.

"I'll be in the bedroom." He disappeared up the hall.

"You're a mean old fart," Kirsty told Betty, who thought that was great and grinned widely.

Which, in turn, reminded Kirsty to be on the lookout for teeth.

After two hours of searching, they were no closer to finding the missing underwear. Lake was traumatised by the experience. He'd seen things in Betty's closets that he never wanted to see again. The most offensive thing had been what she did to the cardboard cut-out she'd stolen. It was now standing in her kitchen wearing a pink flowery pinny and bright red lipstick.

"That isn't funny," Lake said when he saw it.

Those cut-outs cost money.

"It kind of is," Kirsty said with a grin.

"You're a big girl's blouse who can't wage a decent war," Betty told him. "Take a good look. That's what you're like on the inside. All this muscle and moody attitude is only for show."

"We should have gagged her," Lake said.

"It's not too late," Kirsty said.

They both looked at Betty, who had turned the search into an afternoon's entertainment. On the table beside her chair she had biscuits, tea, cake and a camera. She said she was documenting their abuse for the lawyer nephew. Lake wasn't worried. She didn't have a clue how to use the camera. She'd had it backwards on one occasion and nearly blinded herself with the flash.

"Come on, old lady," he said. "Tell us where to find the underwear and we can move on from this."

"Not on your nelly."

"Maybe it's with her friends or family?" Lake said to Kirsty, who stood shoulder to shoulder with him in the middle of the fairy cave living room.

"Betty doesn't have family or friends," Kirsty said.

Lake turned to Betty, who was trying to look her usual defiant self—but not before Lake saw the effect that statement had had on her. Damn if she didn't look hurt and lonely. His shoulders slumped slightly.

"Look." He turned to Kirsty. "Why don't you go back to the shop and I'll deal with this. She's my responsibility."

Betty visibly perked up.

"It's my lingerie," Kirsty said. "I can't have a show without it."

"We'll figure something out," Lake said. "Go. I'll let you know what I find."

There was a flicker of uncertainty in Kirsty's eyes.