Lingerie Wars (The Invertary books) (18 page)

How could she say no to those laughing eyes? With a deep sigh, she nodded and let him drag her along to the pub.

The place was packed. It seemed almost everyone who was at the meeting had taken Dougal up on his offer of cut-price chips. As they wove through the crowd towards the back room, Rainne could tell that people were genuinely excited about the fashion show. All around her she heard snippets of plans for the market. One woman was going to make knitted tea cosies with an underwear theme. Another thought painting a board with two people in their underwear, then cutting out the faces so that people could stand behind and get their photos taken was a great idea. She heard about people renaming their prized jam as InverTARTY, Strawberry Kiss. There was someone who planned to print T-shirts with Lake and Kirsty's faces on them and someone who thought throwing a pyjama party in the pub was a good idea. It boggled her mind. The whole town was throwing themselves behind the lingerie shops. She hadn't seen support like that since living in the commune. She didn't know it was possible in "the real world", as Lake kept calling it.

Rainne tensed when she heard Alastair call out to his friends. This was a disaster waiting to happen. She knew for a fact that a few of his crowd were barely eighteen. That was almost a decade younger than she was. Rainne took a deep breath, plastered a fake smile on her face and waited for the inevitable odd looks that they would give her. She was, after all, the old woman dating Alastair.

When Alastair introduced her, Rainne was surprised to see that their smiles seemed genuine. She shrugged out of her old green duffle coat and squeezed into the bench seat beside two young blond girls who were obviously twins.

"I'm Megan and that's Claire," said one of them.

Rainne smiled politely, then didn't know what else to say. It occurred to her that if this was a new commune she'd just joined, people would be asking her loads of questions by now on her philosophy of life. Here, in a pub with a bunch of teenagers, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to talk about. The twins exchanged a look. Rainne tried to pretend she was invisible. She shrank back into her chair and lowered her head, hoping her hair would hide her face.

"You own the lingerie shop, don't you?" Megan said.

Rainne felt herself tense even further.

"My brother owns it really," she said.

"But it's your shop, right?" Claire said.

Rainne tried to figure out if there was some ulterior motive to their questions, but all she could see were two shiny, young faces smiling at her.

"Kind of," she said. "Lake owns it, I manage it. Or I was supposed to before he came to town and took over."

She held her breath, waiting to see if she'd said too much.

"I know exactly what you mean," Megan said while Claire nodded. "See that guy over at the bar?"

Rainne spotted the guy they meant instantly. He was an older, bigger version of the two girls, only with dark hair instead of blond.

"He's our brother, ten years older," Megan said.

"And he's the town's police force," said Claire.

"Can you imagine?" Megan said, all wide-eyed and indignant. "Not only is he watching every move we make, but he can arrest us for it. Our own brother."

"He won't leave us alone for a minute," Claire said.

"He says he's worried we'll go wild and embarrass him." Megan rolled her eyes.

"Like the jumper he's wearing isn't embarrassment enough," Claire said as she growled at her brother.

He seemed aware that they were watching him. He pointed at his eyes with two fingers, then at them. His jumper had a knitted reindeer on it with a red bobble nose. Rainne smiled.

"See?" Megan huffed. "It's humiliating to be related to that. Mum makes those jumpers for us every year, but none of us wear them."

"Except the idiot," said Claire.

Rainne couldn't help laughing.

"You think you've got problems," she said as she found herself relaxing. "My brother is ex-special forces and is trying to run the shop like a boot camp. We have strategy meetings. We get assigned tasks. He even calls his efforts a 'campaign' and refers to making a profit as 'winning the war'."

"At least he looks yummy in a tux," Claire said wistfully.

"Oooh, yuck," said Rainne and made a disgusted face, which made the girls giggle.

As Rainne reached for her drink, she found she had actually relaxed and was enjoying herself. She caught Alastair's eye from across the table and felt her insides tingle as his look seemed to caress her. She flushed as she sipped her drink and the devil winked.

"Looks like it isn't just Lake who's yummy," cooed Claire.

As Rainne blushed the girls giggled good-naturedly and Alastair grinned widely.

"Alastair has got that look cats get when you give them cream," Megan said. "And you're the cream," she told Rainne, in case there was any confusion.

"I've never seen him like this," Claire said in a lowered voice. "He's really mad about you."

Rainne felt herself stiffen as she waited for them to warn "the old lady" off their friend. Instead Megan leaned across the table and squeezed her hand.

"You are so lucky," she said. "I wish some guy would look at me like that."

Rainne didn't quite know what to say.

"If they did," she said at last, "your brother would pop them in jail."

"That is so true," Claire said as they laughed. "Hear that, Meg? We're doomed to be single."

"Nothing I didn't already know," Megan said gloomily.

"Hey, Alastair," Claire called. "I like this one. She's a keeper."

Rainne felt her face burn red.

Alastair looked at her intensely as he slowly sipped his beer.

"I know," he said at last. "I intend to keep her."

The girls fanned themselves as Rainne stared back at Alastair. There was no turning away. She was keeping her boy too.

CHAPTER TEN

Kirsty didn't expect the fallout from the newspaper headlines to be so huge. All week she'd been answering phone calls from members of the press who wanted to do a follow-up story, or even an interview on camera. Unfortunately, without exception, they wanted to feature Lake in the article as well. Apparently the interesting part of the story wasn't that she'd posed for the camera again, but that together the two shops made Invertary "InverTARTY". Kirsty was torn. She either said yes to the publicity, and Lake benefited too. Or she said no, and shot herself in the foot. In the end, she compromised. She told everyone that there was a fashion show just before Christmas and they should contact Caroline to set up interviews. Let Caroline deal with it. It was the least she could do after going all "fair play" on her best friend.

"Have you seen Facebook?" Magenta said by way of hello.

She shrugged out of her black padded coat as she walked through the shop.

"Of course I've seen Facebook, who hasn't?"

Magenta stopped and gave Kirsty a look that said she thought she was an idiot.

"I don't mean the general network, I mean the specific images that are flooding it right now."

"Oh, well, the answer is no."

Magenta rolled her eyes and thrust her smartphone at Kirsty.

"Take a look at this," she said.

Kirsty took the phone, as ordered by her grumpy assistant. Her lips pursed when she saw what was on the screen. She flicked through the images, each one almost identical—women from the town posing beside the cardboard cut-out of Lake.

"It's gone viral. It's everywhere. There are women writing poems to him." Kirsty frowned at Magenta's words. "Not women from Invertary," Magenta told her. "Strange women."

Kirsty didn't know what to say. She held the phone and stared at Lake smiling up at her.

"They've even started a fan page for him. It's called 'Double Oh, licensed to thrill in InverTARTY'."

"Double Oh Seven?"

"No," Magenta said slowly. "Double Oh—orgasm."

Kirsty screwed up her nose.

"That's yucky."

"You should read some of the comments on the page," Magenta said. "I'm no prude but they make me blush. I bumped into Rainne on the way here. She said that Lake has had seventeen proposals of marriage since Saturday."

"Has the world gone mad?" Kirsty handed back the phone.

"It appears so," Magenta said solemnly. "Anyway, he's started a website to maximise the sales from all this internet fame. He's offering everyone who buys lingerie a chance to enter in a draw to join him here for the fashion show."

Kirsty's eyes shot to her feet.

"That's wrong," she said. "He can't do that." Her words faltered. "Can he?"

"He is."

Kirsty started to pace in her office.

"How did he manage to get his website off the ground so fast?"

"Rainne said he got an old army mate to set up a template."

"And what's he going to do with this woman when she comes to town?" She felt her eyes go wide. "If they're calling him double orgasm, will she be expecting...you know."

"Know what?" Magenta had a mischievous glint in her eye.

"You know," Kirsty said in frustration. "Her own double oh."

Magenta nodded with what looked like fake solemnity.

"I would say so. After all, he is licensed to thrill."

Kirsty put her hands on her hips and glared at Magenta.

"That is wrong. He's pimping himself out to sell underwear. He's giving this town a terrible reputation. We need to stop this."

She sat on her chair with a groan.
Think. Think
, she told herself. At last a tiny idea crept into the corner of her brain.

"You went to school with that photographer at the paper, right?"

Magenta's eyes narrowed.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm wondering if he could work a little Photoshop magic on something."

Magenta grinned.

"Like what?"

"Well," Kirsty said with feigned innocence, "maybe it's time we started posting some images of our own. Ones that show what Lake really looks like. Ones with his huge beer belly and hairy feet. Ones with a double chin and balding head."

"But Lake doesn't look..." Magenta grinned. "I get it." She grabbed her coat. "I'll go find the photographer."

As she reached for the door she paused.

"We'll need some pictures to Photoshop."

"Don't worry, I've got that under control."

An hour later Kirsty leaned back from the table in her mother's shop and looked at the women of Knit Or Die.

"You all understand what you're doing, right?" she said.

They nodded. They were huddled around the table at the back of Margaret Campbell's shop, looking a little more serious than usual.

"Then let's hear it," Kirsty said.

"I'm on the waterfront, taking pictures of the loch in the morning and will get shots of Lake when he runs past for his morning jog," Shona said.

"I've to go into his shop later and ask to take a picture with him. If I can get him with Betty, then even better," said Heather.

Kirsty nodded to encourage them.

"I've to hang out in the street, pretending I'm taking pictures of the buildings for a tourist leaflet we're making, but instead I take pictures of Lake when he leaves the shop," said Jean.

"Good." Kirsty slapped her hands together. "This is going to be a breeze. Once these photos are on the internet that will be the end of his stupid competition. We can't have him raffling himself off to anyone who'll buy underwear from him."

Her mum leaned back in her chair with a knowing smile on her face. It would have been reassuring—only Kirsty had no idea what her mother thought she knew.

"No, we can't have that," her mother said smugly.

Kirsty ignored her. She was in the middle of her grand plan and she didn't need the distraction.

"Now to the next bit," she said. "Does anyone know anyone who's a whizz with computers?"

They looked at each other for a while before a light bulb went off over Jean's head.

"I have a grandson who designed a game for the internet. Made a lot of money, he's using it to pay for Uni. Well, that's what his parents say. He told me he's going to buy a Ferrari and date the Kardashians," Jean said.

"Great." Kirsty leaned forward. "Give me his contact details."

"Is that Martha's son?" Shona asked.

Jean nodded.

"You can't get him involved with your schemes, he's only thirteen. It's wrong to make him do anything illegal," Shona told her.

"Who said anything about illegal?" Kirsty said. "I'm only going to get him to break into a computer. That's not a proper crime. He'll be fine."

Jean hesitated but handed over the information Kirsty wanted.

"You're a little scary in this mood," Jean told her.

Kirsty nodded in agreement. She was scaring herself too.