Line of Scrimmage (11 page)

Overwhelmed by him, Susannah fought the urge to cry.

“So many times over the last year I wanted to call you,” he continued. “Especially when . . . ”

She studied his face, which was suddenly tight with tension. “What is it?”

He sighed. “I heard from my father.”

“
What?
” she gasped. “When?”

“About six months ago.”

“But, what, I mean . . . What did he say?”

“That he’d followed my career, that he wanted to see me.” He shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“So what happened? Did you see him?”

Ryan nodded. “He came to a game, and we went out to dinner after.”

“How did you even know it was him?” Susannah asked, hanging on his every word.

“I look just like him,” Ryan said with an ironic chuckle. “It’s unreal. He’s an older version of me.”

“Wow, that must’ve been so weird. How did you feel when he just called you out of the blue like that?”

“Stunned,” he confessed. “I wanted so badly to talk to you about it. I didn’t know what to do.”

“I wish I’d been there with you. All those years you wondered about him . . . ”

“I wish you’d been there, too, especially when I found out what he really wanted.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask . . . ”

“Money, of course.”

“Oh, Ry,” she sighed as her eyes filled. “What’d you do?”

“Gave it to him. What else was I supposed to do?”

She clutched his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugged, but the hurt was written on his face. “I was stupid. I got my hopes up. Since my mother died and you and I broke
up, I’ve been kind of short on family. But I should’ve known better than to pin any hopes on him.”

“He’s not a father,” Susannah said fiercely. “He’s a sperm donor.”

Ryan smiled. “I guess I sort of suspected what might happen. That’s why—”

The lights flickered back on, startling them.

When he began to get up to turn them off, Susannah stopped him. “What were you going to say?”

“Just that I had a hunch about how it might turn out. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone he had called. Not even Bernie.”

“Did you find out where he’s been all these years?”

“In California. He’s remarried. He didn’t even know my mother had died.”

“Does he have other kids?”

Ryan nodded. “Three of them.”

Susannah studied him as she absorbed it all. “You have siblings.”

“Yeah. I’m not really sure what to do about that. I go back and forth about contacting them. They can’t help who their father
is any more than I can.”

“Why did he ask you for money?”

“Apparently he’d gotten into some trouble with gambling.”

“How much did you give him?”

“Half a million.”

“
Ryan! Oh my God!

”

“Yes, I know it’s outrageous,” he said, chagrined. “But by the time he told me how much he needed, I just wanted to be rid
of him.”

Susannah held out her arms to him.

He slid into her embrace with a deep sigh of relief.

“He looked like a grown up, Suze, nothing like those old pictures I have of him. But he’s still the same guy who left his
wife and two-year-old son and never looked back.”

“It’s a good thing I wasn’t there.” She was furious with a man she had never met. “He wouldn’t have gotten a dime out of you
if I had been.”

“I know,” Ryan said with a chuckle. “I thought the same thing at the time. After I gave him the check, I drove over to the
house. I sat outside for an hour trying to work up the nerve to call you or knock on the door or something. I just wanted
you so badly.”

Tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry he hurt you and that I wasn’t there for you. I would’ve
punched the snot out of him.”

He laughed, but his eyes were bright with emotion. “I love when my little debutante talks like a truck driver.”

“I’m serious. I would’ve hurt him.”

“I have no doubt.” He wiped the tears from her face.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For listening and for being so mad on my behalf. I was pretty numb for a while after it happened.”

“And you were all alone.”

He shrugged. “I feel better now that you know about it.” He kissed her cheek. “You must be getting tired, baby.”

She glanced at the clock on the mantle and found it was after three. “Not really. How about you?”

“I’m hungry,” he said as he kissed her and got up to turn off the lamps.

“Why am I not surprised?” She watched him move around in the nude. Even with the bruises that colored his chest and face,
he was so gorgeous she couldn’t look away.

He caught her watching him and grinned. “See something you like, darlin’?”

“Uh-huh.”

He turned off the last of the lights and returned to their makeshift bed on the floor.

Susannah squealed when he landed on top of her.

“Watch your ribs!”

“They’re fine.” He captured her mouth in a passionate kiss.

“I thought you were hungry,” she said as he turned his attention to her neck.

“I am.”

She tilted her head to give him better access. “Want me to make you something?”

“You’d really leave this nice, warm bed for me?”

“If I have to.”

He drew back to look at her. “You
do
love me.”

“God help me,” she joked.

“What’re you going to do, Susie?”

“Make you a sandwich if you’ll get your big self off of me.”

He held her face so she couldn’t look away. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“This has been the most amazing day and night.” She reached up to touch his hair and then his face. “I just want to enjoy
being here with you without any pressure to decide anything. Can we do that?”

He studied her for a long time, and it seemed to cost him to say, “Okay.”

“How about that sandwich?”

“You don’t have to.” He pulled on his sweats. “I can do it. Want half?”

“Just a bite and some water.”

“Coming right up.”

He returned a few minutes later with a huge turkey sandwich and a bottle of water to share.

“Ry?”

“What, baby?”

“I was just wondering . . . ”

“About?”

She rolled her lip back and forth between her teeth.

He took her hand. “There’s nothing you can’t ask me, Susie.”

“If you love me so much, why’d you wait until the eleventh hour to do this? To come back?”

He swallowed the last bite of sandwich and took a long drink of water. “I didn’t plan to wait so long.

When the judge ordered us to wait six more months before he would grant the divorce, the season was just starting. I wanted
to get you alone with no distractions, and you know how crazy everything is during the season.”

She nodded.

“No one expected us to do anything this year. It was supposedly a ‘rebuilding year,’ but everything went our way. We beat
teams we never should’ve beaten. I was starting to feel desperate because time was getting away from me, and we kept winning.
We played Miami in the playoffs.”

“I watched that game,” she confessed.

“Then you know we shouldn’t have won.”

“I was jumping all around when Willy returned that fumble for a touchdown.”

“It was insane. I couldn’t believe we were going to the Super Bowl again. It was an incredible season, in many ways more exciting
than any of the others. Then I got hurt, and they stuck me in the hospital. I was freaking out. I was down to ten days until
our court date, and they were telling me I needed to spend at least three of them in the hospital. So I checked myself out
against the doctor’s orders.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“You were engaged.” He fiddled with the blanket.

“I was desperate. You should’ve seen me when I heard you were going to marry that guy. I just kept picturing you . . . with
him, and I thought I’d go crazy. I got stinking, filthy drunk. I even missed a practice for the first time ever.”

Susannah swallowed hard. “I’d planned to tell you myself.”

He turned to her. “So why didn’t you?”

“Henry told a couple of people, and the word got out.

After it was mentioned in the paper, I knew there was no point in calling you.”

“You should’ve called me, Susie. You owed me that much.”

“You’re absolutely right. I did.”

He studied her intently. “Were you hoping to hurt me?” he finally asked.

“No.”

“You did.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Old Henry didn’t waste any time, did he? How long did it take him to move to Denver after we split up?”

“Three or four months.”

“He gave up a cushy job on Wall Street to run the First Mercantile Bank of Denver. Quite a step down, but I’m sure it was
worth the sacrifice since you’d finally unloaded the dumb jock.”

“It wasn’t like that,” she protested.

“Sure it was.”

“Ryan, please . . . Don’t do this.” She put her arms around him and kissed his back. “Please. Don’t ruin everything.”

“I thought I already had. Isn’t that what you said when you asked me to leave?”

She leaned her forehead against his back. “Ry,” she said, her voice catching on a sob.

He turned and put his arms around her.

“I never meant to hurt you,” she said. “We hurt each other so much. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“Neither do I.”

“Do you really think, in light of all that’s happened, we have a prayer of putting our marriage back together?”

“If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here.” He lay down and brought her with him. “We can do it, Susie. I know we can.”

“Are you really going to retire?”

“Yes.”

“And do what?”

“Run my businesses, and I’ve been toying with the idea of maybe coaching.”

“In the NFL?”

“High school.”

She looked up at him. “For real?”

“I think I could have a greater impact at that level. I was a messed-up kid with no father and a mother who worked

all the time. Jimmy Stevens is the number one reason why I’m where I am today,” he said, referring to his high-school football
coach. “He showed me what I was capable of.”

“But you could write your own ticket with the league.”

“Where would the fun be in that? Coaching a bunch of overpaid egomaniacs? No thanks.”

“And what would
you
know about
that?
” she asked with a smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He returned her smile with his trademark cocky grin. “When I went into town today,
I called Duke. I’m meeting with him and Chet the day after tomorrow when they get back from Washington. I’m dreading telling
them. They’re going to go nuts. I want you there with me when I tell them.”

“I don’t know, Ry. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

“Of course it does,” he insisted.

She yawned. “How?”

“You’re tired, baby.” He kissed her. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Her eyes closed. “I want to talk about it now.”

“The heat’s back on. Do you want to sleep in a real bed or stay here?”

“Here. With you.”

He kicked off the sweats and slid in next to her.

“I’m here.”

She took his hand and pulled his arm tight around her.

“Susie?”

“Mmm.”

“I love you.” He kissed her shoulder and then her cheek. “I missed you so much.”

“Mmm. Me, too.”

Chapter 11

RYAN HELD HER CLOSE WHILE SHE SLEPT AND WAS HOPEFUL they had taken a big step back to each other. Having her warm and soft
and naked in his arms was like a dream come true. How many nights had he fantasized about being with her like this again?
They had covered a lot of ground and righted a lot of wrongs, but was it enough? When they got back to the real world, would
it be enough to keep her from leaving? He didn’t know what else he could do or say to convince her their marriage would be
different this time.

She had given herself to him so completely earlier and rendered him, as she always had, helpless. He’d never understood how
one woman could have such power over him. Susannah had been right when she said other women were forever coming on to him,
but none of them appealed to him the way she had from the first time he spotted her at the Purple Porpoise in Gainesville.
After that, it had taken him two days—and all his campus clout—to track her down. He could still remember the look on her
face when she opened her dorm room door to find him there.

That she’d really had no idea who he was or what he meant to the university had utterly charmed him. He was beginning his
senior year, and by then he had grown weary of his own buzz. She’d had a refreshing way even then of bringing him soundly
back to earth by refusing to buy into all the hoopla that went with dating the biggest man on a big campus.

She grounded him. She had then, and she had in all the years that followed in the NFL. Without her around to remind him he
was nothing more than an ordinary mortal with an extraordinary arm, he would’ve become completely insufferable rather than
just somewhat insufferable. He chuckled softly to himself when he recalled arriving home after he won his first Super Bowl.
They had walked into the house, and she’d said, “Ew, something stinks. Figure out what it is, will you, Ry?” No, his big win
wasn’t going to his head with her around to remind him he was just a guy with something stinky in his house.

He shifted to relieve the ache in his ribs and ended up with a handful of soft breast that made him want her all over again.
But rather than disturb her, he pressed his lips to her back and shoulder. Closing his eyes, he finally drifted off to sleep
but kept his hand right where it was.

When Susannah awakened after ten that morning, Ryan was wrapped around her and sharing her pillow. She remembered teasing
him on many a morning about sleeping in a king-sized bed but having to share a pillow with him. “I get lonely over there without
you,” he would say with his child-like pout. Placing her hand over his on her breast, she lay still for a long time reveling
in the feelings he aroused in her—feelings she now knew had only lain dormant during their long year apart. Despite what she
tried to tell herself, they hadn’t disappeared.

As she gently extricated herself from Ryan’s embrace, the one thing she knew for sure was she couldn’t think clearly when
she was naked and in bed with him. Reaching for her nightgown, she slipped it over her head and pulled on her socks. The fire
had died down, but the room was warm from the heat. She padded to the kitchen to make coffee before she went into the bathroom.
After she had brushed her teeth and done what she could with her hair, she examined her reflection in the mirror. Her lips
were swollen and almost bruised, and her cheeks were flushed with color. “You look like you’ve been making mad love,” she
whispered. With a giggle, she added, “Is there any other kind with Ryan?” He made love the same way he lived—with everything
he had, which was why she was sore and achy in some interesting places today.

On her way back to the kitchen, she stopped to look at him sprawled out in their bed on the floor. The covers had slipped
to his waist, giving her a panoramic view of his injured ribs. She winced when she imagined the pain he must have been in
when it first happened.
I should’ve
been there with him, but part of me is glad I wasn’t.
Watching him get hurt playing football had been one of the most difficult parts of a difficult marriage.

He sure is handsome,
she sighed, thinking as she often had that the word “handsome” didn’t begin to describe him. She had never fully gotten over
her awe at being picked out of the crowd by a man who could’ve had any woman he wanted. Over the years, she’d made an effort
not to let him see her awe because keeping him humble was a big enough job as it was.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and took it with her to look out at the shiny, white morning. The sun was back, and all
signs of the storm were gone. The town appeared to have been frosted by the snow, and the mountain was littered with tiny
dots—skiers taking advantage of the fresh powder. If he had been healthy, Ryan might’ve been up there with them. Or maybe
this new Ryan would’ve stayed home with her and enjoyed some precious time alone.

As she stood there daydreaming, she remembered another morning in that very spot, the morning she had felt Justin move inside
her for the first time. The memory had Susannah unconsciously reaching for her belly where her baby boy had once lived. The
grief and emptiness still struck at odd times, like now when she hadn’t even been thinking about him. She’d been comforted
yesterday to hear that Ryan thought of him often, too. Somehow, knowing that made her feel less alone with her loss.

Ryan startled her when he came up behind her and kissed her neck. “You were a million miles away. What were you thinking about?”

“Justin,” she said without hesitation.

Wrapping his arms around her from behind, Ryan held her close to him. “What about him?”

“I was standing right here the first time I ever felt him move. Remember?”

“How could I forget? You were screaming and yelling for me to come. You scared the crap out of me.”

Susannah smiled, and all at once the memory was a happy one. She turned to him and wasn’t surprised to find him still naked
and on his way to being aroused. Turning her eyes up to his, she said, “Before yesterday I wouldn’t have told you I was thinking
about him. I would’ve said I was thinking about nothing or made up something else. I was sad just now, but sharing it with
you made me feel better. That’s what I should’ve done all along, and I’m sorry I didn’t. I’m sorry if I made you feel like
it wasn’t your loss, too.”

He caressed her face. “It’s in the past now. We have only good things ahead of us.” Wiggling his eyebrows, he added, “Maybe
we made a new baby last night.”

“After what we went through to get pregnant the first time, I doubt it.” She cringed at the memory of ovulation kits, thermometers,
and invasive tests that found nothing at all wrong with either of them. “Lightning might not strike twice.”

“My boys were
very
well rested,” he said with that grin of his.

Susannah’s stomach twisted at the thought. “God, it didn’t even occur to me to use protection because we had such trouble
before. Wouldn’t
that
be just my luck?”

His smile faded. “Wouldn’t it just?”

“Don’t be offended. I’m just saying, the timing would stink.”

“With Mommy being engaged to another man and all that.”

Looping her arms up around his neck, she brought him down for a kiss. At first he resisted, but she worked on him until he
acquiesced.

“Do you like knowing you can have me any time you

want me?” he asked with a fierce look in his usually soft brown eyes.

Full of her own power, she met his intense gaze with one of her own. “Yes.” Without looking away, she let her hands slide
down his chest to grasp his throbbing erection. She stroked him the way she knew he liked it—hard and fast.

He hissed as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back.

She kept up the quick movements of her hands until he was rock hard and breathing heavily.

He backed her up to the kitchen table. “Right here?”

Susannah could tell she surprised him when she said, “Why not?”

He pushed her nightgown up to her waist and buried his fingers in her. The sound and feel of her wetness seemed to fire his
already ferocious mood. “Now, Susie.

Right now.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“What about protection?” he asked at the last possible moment.

“I’ll take my chances.”

All her earlier aches and pains were forgotten when he entered her. The thrusts of his tongue into her mouth mirrored the
almost angry thrusts of his hips. She had pushed him to some sort of breaking point, but rather than being frightened by his
furious possession she was exhilarated by it. She hooked her legs over his hips to take him deeper, and he slapped against
her.

A groan rumbled through him, and he pulled furiously at the front of her nightgown. Buttons popped off, giving him the access
he craved. He caught her nipple between two fingers, and still he kissed her with deep, passionate strokes of his tongue that
alone would have left her weak. The combination sent her into a soaring climax.

He tore his mouth free of hers and cried out a moment after her. Breathing hard, he collapsed on top of her and buried his
face in the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry,” he said when he could speak again.

Her fingers tunneled into his hair as she kissed away beads of sweat on his forehead. “For?”

“Acting like a mad man,” he said, still breathing hard.

When he began to withdraw from her, she held him tighter with her legs. “Why? I liked it.”

He lifted his head to look at her. “I’ve never treated you like that before.”

“You could have. I’m not fragile.”

“After all these years that you could still surprise me . . . ”

“Right back at you.”

They locked eyes for a long, breathless moment before he lowered his head and swept his lips over hers with all the gentle
care his earlier kisses had lacked. He nipped and licked and worshiped every corner of her mouth, growing hard again in the
process. “Susie,” he whispered as he began to move his hips with a slow, aching patience. “You kill me.” He lifted her and
tugged the nightgown over her head so he could nuzzle her breasts. “You make me feel weak and strong at the same time.”

He managed to put into words everything she felt for him. “Ry,” she gasped when he drew on her nipple. She clutched his head
to her chest, wanting him like it was their first time all over again. Maybe it was. Maybe what she’d once declared over was
being reborn in that very moment. Just maybe. If the pounding of her heart and the tightening sensation in her belly were
any indication, this relationship was very much alive.

“Come for me, Susie,” he whispered. “I want to watch you.”

Since she was already teetering on the edge, his words sent her toppling over. Watching her was all he needed to go with her.

Tears sparkled in his eyes when he kissed her softly.

“I’ve never loved you more than I do right now.”

“And I’ve never felt more loved by you. I could very easily drown in it.”

“I’d save you,” he said with another soft kiss.

“I’ll never look at this table the same way again,”

she joked.

He smiled. “Why haven’t we ever done this before?”

“I don’t know,” she said as he helped her up. “Maybe because there’s something slightly depraved about doing it on the kitchen
table?”

“If that was depraved, I gotta say I like it.” He stopped her when she reached for her nightgown.

“Let’s take a shower.”

She followed him to the huge master bedroom and came to a halt in the doorway when she saw he had rearranged the room.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“It’s different.”

“I had to do something to shake things up around here. I had no clue what it would be like to be here without you. There was
many a day when I wished I had just given it to you or sold it.”

“It looks good,” she decided, moved by his words and feeling more for him with every passing moment. She conceded she would
soon reach a point of no return—if she hadn’t already—when any further talk of a life without him would be pointless.

He held out a hand to her and led her into the spacious, sky-lit bathroom where everything of hers was just as she’d left
it. They stepped into the steaming shower. When she wrapped her arms around him from behind he flinched.

“What is it?”

“The heart attack seems to be back,” he said with a grimace, running a hand over his injured side.

“No more mad sex for you. You’re injured.”

“Shoot me now and put me out of my misery if you’re going to cut me off.” The grin he sent her over his shoulder was lascivious,
but she saw the pain in his eyes. “I’ll just have to let you do all the work until I’m recovered.”

“I think that can be arranged,” she said as she soaped his back and kneaded his muscular shoulders.

He propped a hand on the wall of the shower and dropped his head to his chest. “Feels good.”

“These bruises seem to be getting more evil looking rather than better.”

“At least my gorgeous face looks better today.”

“Yes, it does.”

He turned to her. “What’s this? No witty, ego-deflating comeback? You disappoint me.”

“It
is
a gorgeous face.” She reached up to caress it.

“Easily the most gorgeous face I’ve ever seen.”

“Now you’re just scaring me, darlin’.”

He looked so genuinely concerned that she burst into laughter. “Am I
that
mean?”

“Usually,” he said without hesitation. “But that’s okay.

I can take it. I know you love me.”

“When we were together, before, did I ever tell you what I really thought of you?”

“Now and then, but not with words. Sometimes it would be a look, or a touch, or a sigh at
just
the right moment. Don’t worry. I knew.”

“I used to look at you when you were sleeping—I did it just this morning, in fact—and wonder what it was about me that made
such an amazing, sexy, devastatingly handsome man want me over
all
the others.”

The cocky grin was back when he said, “Devastating, huh?”