Linda Ford (15 page)

“Of course.”

With a tip of his hat, Eddie strode toward the barn.

Red saw Ward in one of the pens. He seemed to be studying her. No doubt wondering how she would handle this intrusion into her privacy.

She stiffened her spine. She’d handle it just fine. Without anyone interfering, thank you very much.

Belle carried her doll in one hand and picked up as many of her other things as she could. “Did you bring your animals?” she asked.

Grady dug little carved animals from his pockets.

“Good,” Belle said. “We’ll start our own ranch.” She led the way to a tree beside the cabin, its green leaves dancing in the gentle breeze. It stood tall and proud in full view of everyone in the cookhouse, the big house up the hill, the barn, the pens....

Red stared out the door at the pair, already organizing the play ranch. She wanted to keep an eye on them, make sure Belle remembered how to play with other children.

She picked up her sewing, pulled a chair toward the open door and sat so she remained half-hidden from view. From her perch she watched the children, happy for Belle’s sake. Her attention wandered. Beyond the children, Ward held a horse by a rope lead and guided it about in a circle. Each movement was sure and gentle. She caught wisps of his voice, steady and assuring. At first the horse pranced and tossed its head, but Ward’s manner soon calmed it.

She couldn’t take her eyes off the man and animal. Uncertain emotions trembled through her. The horse recognized Ward’s gentleness. It soothed its fears. Ward had that way about him.

He led the horse to a post, snubbed it up tight and went inside the barn.

Red sighed and shifted her gaze back to the children. With twigs they had created corrals for Grady’s little animals.

Belle looked up. “Red, can we get some pieces of wood from out back?”

“Go ahead.”

The pair trotted around. She listened to their murmur as they discussed what they needed.

The horse in the corral snorted. Red looked up. Ward placed a saddle blanket and saddle on the animal. Even from where she sat, she saw the way it trembled, sensed the fear. Her heart kicked against her ribs, then took off in a gallop.

“No,” she whispered, seeing Ward prepare to swing to the saddle. Every fear, every worry consolidated into one thought. He would be thrown. Hurt.

She jerked to her feet, moved outside where she could see better.

He settled into the saddle and nodded. She hadn’t noticed Eddie. Why didn’t he stop Ward? Instead, he loosened the rope and set the horse free. It shook from head to tail, tossed its head, reared once, then bucked in a fury to get Ward off his back.

Red edged closer, unable to breathe, but not wanting to take her eyes off Ward. If he got injured... A vise held her lungs.

The bucking stopped.

“Open the gate,” Ward called, and Eddie did so. Ward rode the horse through the opening and headed down the trail away from the ranch.

What if—

She would not let her thoughts go that direction.

“He’s a good horseman. He’s in control.”

She hadn’t been aware of Eddie standing at the corner of the corrals, watching her.

“Of course he will.” She returned to the cabin, grabbed up her chair and parked it in the sunshine. After all, the day was far too pleasant to spend indoors. What’s more, she could see the mountains from where she sat.

Eddie moved away, apparently unconcerned with Ward’s well-being.

The children played in the shade of the tree.

Red studied the distant mountains. But not until she saw Ward and the horse trotting back to the barn did she notice how the sky formed a perfect blue background to the jagged ridges of the mountains.

Ward waved.

She nodded. She’d only been apprehensive because she knew he couldn’t do his job if he had a broken limb. That was all. Nothing personal about her feelings. She picked up a dress that needed mending and jabbed her needle through the fabric.

Eddie collected Grady at lunchtime.

Belle chattered so much over lunch that Red finished long ahead of her. “Eat up,” she said.

“Okay.” Belle ate her meal hurriedly. “Can I go out and play again?”

“Let’s go out back.”

“Can Grady come, too?”

Red couldn’t say no to her little sister, though she feared the risks involved in getting too close to anyone. Sooner or later someone would discover the truth about them and point it out. But her argument lay flat and lifeless. Linette and Eddie must surely know where Red had been and what she’d been forced to do. Yet they welcomed her. And what had Ward said? Something about letting people get to know her and decide for themselves what they thought of her? Did he mean to suggest they would accept her?

She didn’t see how that was possible. Not when her own heart condemned her.

“Can he?” Belle asked again.

“If he comes, you can play with him.”

But it wasn’t Grady she listened for that afternoon. When the little boy came midway through the day, Red resumed her place outside the cabin and continued the mending as the children played together. After a bit, she returned inside to start supper preparations, leaving the door open so she could keep a watch on the children. Each time she glanced out the door to where they played, her gaze drifted onward to the corrals, the barn and beyond. Previously she’d known only gratitude when no one hung about, but today the place seemed deserted. Where had Ward disappeared to? No, she corrected herself. Where was everyone?

Eddie took Grady home later. Belle came in to wash for supper. They ate fried steak, boiled potatoes and green beans that Cookie had preserved from the garden. Earlier Red had made bread, and they had thick slices of it with syrup for dessert.

Belle helped clean up and dried dishes as Red washed.

At the sound of footsteps nearby, she forced herself not to turn and see if Ward approached. A quiver in the pit of Red’s stomach made her think she had forgotten to eat even though she washed the dishes that proved otherwise.

“Hello.” Ward’s firm, steady voice greeted them from the open doorway.

Something wrenched inside her. A syrup-sweet sensation of hope and despair.

“Hi, Ward.” Belle bounced to his side. “Did you see the farm Grady and I are building?”

He cupped his hand over Belle’s head, adding to the sweetness in Red’s heart.

“I did. It looks to me like you and Grady had a great deal of fun playing together.”

“We did. Grady says he can come every day if it’s okay with Red.” She flung about to confront her sister. “It’s okay, isn’t it?”

Red nodded, her tongue strangely wooden.

Ward flashed a smile full of summer sky, then turned to Belle. “Maybe you won’t need your doll so much anymore.”

“Oh, yes I do.” She ran to the corner where Sally sat amidst the playthings. “She really needs all her arms and legs. Are you going to finish them?”

Ward pulled pieces of wood from his pocket. “I thought I would. Are you ladies wanting to sit outside and enjoy the evening?”

“I am.” Belle dashed outside and disappeared around the corner.

“I’ll be along in a minute.” Red wiped the basin clean and hung the towel to dry. She expected Ward to follow Belle, but he waited.

She adjusted the chairs around the table and delayed the moment she would have to go to his side. Her feelings were too fresh, too fragile, too foreign to feel comfortable around him.

Finally she could delay no longer and pasted a brave smile on her face. “Shall we?”

“Yes, ma’am.” His grin slipped past her defenses and landed in her syrupy heart. But she wouldn’t be controlled by foolish emotions, and lifted her chin, faced straight ahead and marched out the door.

How could she appear calm and collected when her insides bounced about? But she needn’t have worried about it. Belle chattered nonstop as Ward carved a leg and arms for the doll.

Belle leaned over his shoulder, watching. “You’re almost finished.”

“Your Sally will soon be whole.”

Belle giggled.

Then he would no longer need to visit every day. About time, Red told herself. But it wasn’t relief she felt.

Ward attached the arms and leg and handed the doll to Belle. “There you go.”

Belle pressed the doll to her chest. “Oh, thank you. Sally says thank you, too.”

Ward pushed to his feet. “It’s time to say good-night.”

Red stood, too, and they moved to the cabin. As soon as they entered, Belle rushed to the bedroom. “I’m going to get ready for bed. Me and Sally.”

Red turned. “Thank you and goodbye.”

“Goodbye? I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.”

Relief rushed through her. She cut it off. He didn’t need to keep checking on them. Sooner or later they would have to manage on their own. Just as soon as she found something. Tonight she would write an advertisement and send it to the paper. “We’ll be fine on our own.” She said it as much for her sake as his.

“No doubt. But I need to get more wood.”

“But—” She hadn’t even considered the amount of wood they consumed. From now on, she would ration its use.

He brushed her cheek with warm fingertips. “Red, stop scheming on how not to use wood. There’s lots out there for the taking. I don’t mind bringing in more.”

His touch did things to her insides she didn’t want to admit. Filled her with such longing. Had she fallen into a pretend spell, like Belle with her doll, letting herself act as if this could be her life? It could not. Neither she nor Ward truly thought so. He liked to think he could take care of her more as a way to prove to himself he could, rather than because she mattered. What he really wanted was to take care of his mother and brothers. She was only a temporary substitute.

Ward watched her carefully. Did he see a glimpse of her confusion? “Promise me you won’t try to get along without using any wood. You need to cook meals and soon you’ll need to warm the cabin.”

Did he mean in the fall? She wouldn’t be here that long. He caught her chin and stared into her eyes. “Red, promise me.”

“If we need it, I’ll burn wood.”

He sighed. “Why is it I don’t feel like that’s the promise I want?”

She shrugged. “Must be because you have a suspicious nature.”

He laughed. “Something you’ve taught me.” His gaze, warm with amusement and welcome, slipped past her defenses. Oh, she wished he wouldn’t laugh so easily, smile so broadly. It made it so difficult to keep her guard up around him. Made her wish she could be something else—someone other than who she was. A draft of loneliness blew through her.

He sobered. His gaze intensified, silently laying claim to her emotions. Then slowly, as if anticipating each second, he lowered his head and kissed her.

She had plenty of time to turn away but she didn’t. Somehow, despite all her arguments to the contrary, she wanted the assurance and protection his kiss signified. The touch of his lips slipped into her heart and grabbed it like a giant fist squeezing out a drop of longing, threatening to turn it into a rushing stream that would drain her. Leaving her empty and powerless. Still she could not end the kiss.

He lifted his head. His eyes were awash with yearning.

She didn’t want to see it. Admit it. Knowing as she did that once the emotion died, reality would set in. And remembering who she was, what she’d done, the look in his eyes would turn to loathing. She stepped back. Crossed her arms over her middle as if she could hide the truth.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hurried out.

She told herself she didn’t notice a husky tone in his voice. She’d heard passion-thickened voices before and dared not believe it wasn’t the same thing she heard in Ward’s voice.

That night she waited until Belle had fallen asleep to sit at the table. Before she began her letter she had to find the address, and she spread out a paper to search for it.

That’s when a headline caught her eye. She bent over the page and read the story carefully. When she was done, she sat back. This was it. Where she would go.

Chapter Eleven

W
ard hummed as he strode to the bunkhouse. He’d given Red plenty of time to turn from his kiss. But she’d lifted her face in welcome. Then let the kiss continue. She was changing. Beginning to believe she was a good person. Worthy of love and respect. What happened to her was not of her doing. No one should blame her for it. She shouldn’t blame herself.

Perhaps she was beginning to see that.

He realized he hummed a little tune, and stopped before he stepped into the bunkhouse.

Cal looked up and chortled. “Look at the smile on his face. I’d say he’s fallen for that redhead across the way.”

Ward waved away the comment but he didn’t deny it. Yet he couldn’t admit it even to himself, knowing Red might let him kiss her but she wasn’t ready to open her heart and life to him.

Or anyone.

He climbed into his bunk and stared at the ceiling. Not that he needed to worry. She wasn’t looking for love. He thought of his little cabin and the fledgling ranch. His goal had been to provide a home for his mother and sisters. Now Red fit so easily into the picture that he felt guilty. He’d abandoned his family once before and here he was mentally doing the same...putting Red in their place. His heart beat slower, each pulse heavy with determination. He could see how letting himself fall for Red could prove a substitute for missing his family.

He flipped to his side. He couldn’t let that happen. His family must come first. He wasn’t so foolish as to think love would satisfy the deep longings in his heart.

But just before sleep came, he smiled and thought of Red’s kiss.

The next day Eddie kept Ward busy. Not until after supper did he have time to hitch a horse to the stoneboat and head over to the cabin, intending to bring in more firewood for Red.

First, he stopped to speak to her. “I would have been here sooner—” he started to explain.

“I expect Eddie thinks you should do some work once in a while. Besides, when will you learn I don’t need you taking care of me?”

He ignored her gibe. “I see Grady was here again. That’s nice. Everyone needs a friend. Friends make each other happy.” He wanted her to accept him as a friend. To allow him to make her happy. To help her. Take care of her. Knowing she would object to the latter statements, he added, “Seems to me friends help each other.”

Neither of them broke from staring at the other. Neither of them relented from their position.

“You got an objection to being friends with me?”

She sniffed. “Seems to me friends don’t push at each other, making impossible demands.”

“Push? Impossible demands? Red, I have no idea what you are talking about. All I’ve done is rescue you and Belle from Thorton, bring you to a safe place and make sure you’re taken care of. How is that pushing and making demands?”

She sniffed again and gave him a look dripping with disdain. “I guess it meant nothing to you, but I recall a kiss or two.”

He took off his hat and scrubbed at his hair, not caring that he likely turned it into a rat’s nest. Then he gave her a look rife with disbelief. “Didn’t see you resisting.”

“Maybe,” she said with annoyance in every syllable, “I was just being polite.”

“Polite?”

“Stop sputtering. Yes, polite. Or maybe I thought you would tell Eddie to toss us out to fend for ourselves if I didn’t let you.”

He would not sputter but he sure felt like it. “You know that’s not true. I can’t make it any plainer that I’m happy enough to make sure you’re safe.”

“You make it equally plain that it’s only because you haven’t been able to contact your mother and brothers.”

He slammed his hat on his head. This was not going at all the way he had planned. She was supposed to welcome his offer of friendship, admit that a kiss or two was appropriate, see that his desire to help was genuinely generous. Maybe even confess to liking, to even a small degree, having him around. “It’s not just because I haven’t been able to contact my family.”

“So you’re doing it to give you the right to steal a few kisses?”

“Woman, you don’t know what you want, do you?” He turned to leave, then remembered he meant to chop wood. He confronted her. “I did not steal any kisses. You gave them. Freely, and I’m pretty sure you liked them. You don’t fool me one bit.”

She threw a towel at him. It fluttered ineffectively to the ground.

He laughed and continued on his way. Recognized another hole in her argument and called, “Besides, if you’re so all fired set on leaving, why do you care if refusing a kiss might make me tell Eddie to throw you out?” As if Eddie would contemplate such a thing. But why should he encourage her to trust Eddie when she wouldn’t trust him? “You aren’t making any sense.”

She slammed the door.

He headed for the woods, muttering under his breath about how difficult it was to figure out a woman like Red. But before he had placed three logs on the stoneboat, he started laughing. One thing about Red, she had a way of keeping him guessing and right now he was guessing she didn’t like him pointing out she hadn’t resisted his kiss. He could hardly wait to see what she would do next.

* * *

As Ward returned with wood, Red did her best to avoid him. She washed the windows and scrubbed the log walls. Both activities enabled her to keep an eye on him. To make sure he didn’t sneak up unexpectedly, she told herself as she secretly watched him sweat over his labors.

“Sure putting a lot of elbow grease into this place,” he commented as he passed with a load of wood. “Especially for a woman who says she doesn’t care.”

“Who said I don’t care?” Oh, she should not have said that. It sounded as if she wanted to stay. “I’m only making sure no one will regret offering me a temporary home.” Her heavy emphasis on the
temporary
was unmistakable. As was the flash of impatience in his eyes.

He gave her a long-studied look that threatened to pry open secret places in her thoughts. She did not want them exposed. Wouldn’t allow anyone access. Not even herself. There were simply things that no longer existed for Red. Like home, acceptance, love.

She puffed out her lips. She didn’t need love. Didn’t want it. Knew she would never receive it. Not with her past.

Ward continued to watch her and she realized she’d let her emotions play across her face. “Better get at your work,” she said. She made little shooing motions with her hand.

He dropped the reins and stalked toward her, a dark, unreadable look on his face.

Alarm skittered up her nerves. Had she angered him? Would he exact payment in one of the ways Thorton had used? She glanced about. Could she hope to outrun him?

But he was already at her side and caught her by the arms, his touch surprisingly gentle. She kept her head down-turned, afraid of what she might see.

“Red, you are so prickly. Sometimes it wearies me. Yet there are other times when it catches at my heart and makes me want to hold you and kiss you until your fears subside. This is one of those times.”

Before she could think what to do, he caught her chin, tipped her face upward and kissed her thoroughly. He ended the kiss and pulled her against his chest. “One day you’ll admit you are safe with me. You’ll realize just how nice it is.” He released her and strode away, picked up the reins and drove to the woods without a backward look while she struggled to maintain her balance.

Why had he kissed her again?

And why, oh, why did she like it so much?

She rushed into the cabin. Belle played outdoors so Red sat alone at the table. She planted her face in her hands and moaned. She must get out of here as soon as possible.

She picked up the letter awaiting dispatch. Tomorrow was Sunday and she’d take it to church service and ask Linette to see it got to town. She could only hope the response would be swift and agreeable.

* * *

The next day she managed civil conversation with Ward as he escorted her across the road to the cookhouse. She’d planned to leave early and avoid his company, but he must have guessed her intent. When she opened the door, he leaned against the outer wall, all fresh and relaxed, his chin so clean-shaven she wanted to touch it. His white shirt provided a contrast to his bronzed skin that let the word
handsome
spring to her mind before she could stop it. And why did he rest one boot on its toe so he created the perfect picture of masculinity?

He grinned at her.

It was as though the sun touched her with unseasonable warmth and she jerked away. She had tried all night to forget the feel of his kiss, to forget his assertion that she might like it.

She pressed her hand to the letter in her pocket. This position would provide the perfect opportunity for Red and Belle. She couldn’t have asked for more if she’d prayed for a miracle. Yet excitement did not race through her veins. Or even satisfaction or gratitude or any number of things she should be feeling. What she felt was a long ache for what she could not have.

Remembering Ward’s kisses, she brushed her fingertips over her lips. Then, lest he read something into the gesture she didn’t care for him to, she jerked her hand to her waist and pretended to adjust the fabric.

A woman like her could never entertain the sort of dreams that haunted her restless sleep. The warmth of his arm brushing hers tempted her to ignore the truth. Knowing she could never afford to forget the facts of her life, she pretended a great interest in something to her right and used it for an excuse to put a healthy six inches between them.

She felt his considering stare and knew he was aware of what she’d done, but she would not risk a look at him, having discovered that her resolve weakened when he smiled at her. Besides, he seemed to have developed the unwelcome ability to read her thoughts.

“I wonder how long this warm weather will last,” she commented. Weather was always a safe topic to discuss.

“Not long enough.” He sounded amused, as if recognizing her intent to divert him from—what? Only it wasn’t him she meant to sidetrack, she wanted to stop her thoughts from admiring him, wondering if he wanted to kiss her again.

They reached the cookhouse and were greeted with the welcoming scent of cinnamon and Cookie’s exuberant hug. Red successfully dismissed her wayward thoughts.

Belle waved at Grady. “Can I sit with him?”

She’d noticed the children sat with their parents throughout the service and then were free to go to the others. “I prefer you to sit with me. You can talk to him afterward.”

They sat on the back bench. Ward quirked an eyebrow at her when she made certain Belle was between them.

Let him think what he wanted.

Again, Cookie led them in singing a few hymns. Not wanting to attract unwanted inquiries about not joining in, Red moved her lips silently. Then Bertie got up to speak. She closed her mind to his words, though once or twice his sincere tones drew her reluctant attention. She heard enough to know he talked about the lost being found. Maybe it was his favorite topic.

The service ended and Linette and Cassie moved over to sit across from Red.

“Grady is certainly enjoying playtime with Belle,” Linette said. She turned to Cassie. “Why don’t you send the children to join them?”

She took Red’s agreement for granted but then it was Linette’s house, her yard. Why shouldn’t she?

“I might send Daisy down with the two little ones. Neil prefers to be with Roper. If you don’t mind?” She addressed Red.

Red nodded. “That would be fine. I’m sure Belle would enjoy it.” At this rate, her little sister would soon be a social butterfly.

Cookie again served goodies. Red guessed they were delicious, but for her they had a cardboard flavor. She excused her tension as trepidation over the response to her letter, uncertainty about the future or even reluctance to venture into the unknown. Certainly not as already missing Ward when she left. That made no sense. She would not even entertain the idea.

She hoped to have a quick private word with Linette but no opportunity presented itself.

“You’ll come up to the house?” Linette asked.

Red nodded. How else was she to deliver the letter to Linette without everyone knowing?

“You, too, Ward.”

The man grinned from ear to ear and fell in at her side following Eddie and Linette. The two children scampered ahead.

“Red,” Ward murmured. “You’re awfully quiet. Is something wrong?” His gentle, caring words scrubbed every reasonable explanation for her behavior from her mind. Ward-shaped longing and missing rushed through her like a flash flood leaving the bare rocks of truth exposed. She wished with all her heart she could dream of being more than someone for him to care for...a way to ease his concerns about his family.

She couldn’t be.

Why, she’d never even seen his little ranch, though he talked of it often enough. She recognized how far that thought had veered from insisting she couldn’t be more—didn’t want to be.

“Only thing wrong with me is I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“You’re not sick are you? Your leg is healing okay?”

She let out a gusty breath. “Ward, I am fine. Just fine.”

He snorted. “Huh. Seems to me people who are just fine sleep peacefully.”

“And who appointed you the expert on sleeplessness?”

He chuckled. “Nice to see you back in form—all feisty.”

“I am not being feisty.” She emphasized each syllable to make sure he understood. “I’m just pointing out that you have no way of knowing why I didn’t sleep well.”

He stopped directly in front of her, forcing her to halt.

She kept her attention on the tips of his boots. A little dusty now after walking along the trail, but he’d obviously polished them in honor of Sunday. Something about that fact twisted through her brain...a cruel corkscrew.

“Red Henderson, or whatever your name is, I’m guessing your sleep was disturbed with thoughts of a kiss you pretend you didn’t want but enjoyed despite yourself.”

“How dare you?” She shot him a look of denial. At the warmth in his eyes and the way his gaze darted to her mouth, she wished she’d continued to stare at his boots. “I do not... Did not... Am not...” Oh, she had no idea what she meant, and closed her mouth lest she say something she’d regret.